My Rentmen Ad.. Update..Satisfied with my Ad now.

[Michael Paul]

Hey Everyone.... I just redid my profile ad on Rentmen. Can some of you take a look at it and tell me what you think about it. Concerned it's to much, I'm looking for honest constructive opinions.

Thanks

 

If you don't mind, leave me a little note on RM that you are from M4M

[+ VictorPowers]

It's a bit wordy and looks daunting at a glance. Your first sentence is a fragment. There are also a few periods that need to be Question marks. I like the info and it flows pretty well. I also enjoyed the pictures. Great smile!

[Populist Fury]

I like the #swallows hashtag lol

[Deadlift1]

There is no flow. You are trying to say too many things in each sentence.

[Michael Paul]

Hey Everyone.... I just redid my profile ad on Rentmen. Can some of you take a look at it and tell me what you think about it. Concerned it's to much, I'm looking for honest constructive opinions.

Thanks

 

If you don't mind, leave me a little note on RM that you are from M4M

I have

I like the #swallows hashtag lol

What can I say ...It's true... I was raised not to waste anything.

[Michael Paul]

There is no flow. You are trying to say too many things in each sentence.

I am a story teller... it's difficult for me just to put down a few word... example... "We can cuddle and make out. "... that is boring. I know will get different replies to my question and that is to be expected. I will take your advice and read my profile once again.

[Michael Paul]

It's a bit wordy and looks daunting at a glance. Your first sentence is a fragment. There are also a few periods that need to be Question marks. I like the info and it flows pretty well. I also enjoyed the pictures. Great smile!

Fixed what you and messaged about.

[Deadlift1]

Your very good at starting threads for self promotion.

[Michael Paul]

Your very good at starting threads for self promotion.

Not like that at all... I'm new and just trying to get things right.

[P Gren]

It's a bit wordy and looks daunting at a glance. Your first sentence is a fragment. There are also a few periods that need to be Question marks. I like the info and it flows pretty well. I also enjoyed the pictures. Great smile!

Victor, you know your grammar ... hot

[Michael Paul]

Victor, you know your grammar ... hot

Victor is a great help... I appreciate his advice..

[josh282282]

There are also a few periods that need to be Question marks

 

Yes, there is a punctuation issue. If you have gone thru your ad text several times and you still dont see the multiple punctuation mistakes, bring it to a friend to proofread it for you to show you.

 

And best of luck to you in your profession. Thank you for all you do for the community.

Be well.

 

Josh

[Michael Paul]

Yes, there is a punctuation issue. If you have gone thru your ad text several times and you still dont see the multiple punctuation mistakes, bring it to a friend to proofread it for you to show you.

 

And best of luck to you in your profession. Thank you for all you do for the community.

Be well.

 

Josh

I will have someone proof read it for me ..... Thank You for the words of encouragement.

[Michael Paul]

Thanks Guys for you help... I am happy with my current Ad.

[Mocha]

Thanks Guys for you help... I am happy with my current Ad.

 

Ads take years to perfect. There's never a "right" ad. I change my ad and wording all the time. What sounded great last year may not be what I want to portray this year.

 

One thing for sure, putting things in writing has definitely helped. Soon as I took it down thinking it was turning away business, I had to put it right back up. No surprises. It's in the ad.