Escorts who repeatedly cancel?

[SizeQueen16]

So I have a situation where a escort that I have had several very fulfilling, positive experiences with over the past two years now has kind of flipped. The last three times I've contacted him to possibly set something up, he's canceled at the very last minute. We will agree on the time. I will verify it with him to make sure nothing has changed. I go through all the motions of getting ready then contact him again to let him know I'm on the way & he'll say something like "Don't leave yet because I'm not home."

 

One time he went out shopping and didn't realize the time, but we were able to reschedule. This last time, however, he was at a bar with friends. So I asked him if he would like to reschedule. He asked if I could contact him back in two hours. I reluctantly agreed. Two hours come & go. I do not hear from him again that night. He completely blew me off. Now obviously if this was someone that I had never dealt with before with positive history, I wouldn't even have bothered again after the first incident. I'm wondering how many strikes does a good escort usually get before you give him up for good? I should note that the guy did eventually apologize (after I brought to his attention that this keeps happening) He promised he'd make it up to me the next time he comes to town.

[LaffingBear]

Theres no industry standard or exactly right answer for that.

 

We hire to feel good. When you're no longer feeling good about the process, move on. If your self-respect or dignity is suffering, even a little bit, move on. If the process doesnt really bother you, then keep going back for what you know to, ultimately, be a good thing.

 

We MAY decide to tolerate crap in so many life-segments: potentially work, family, friends, government, customer service, etc. Why pay to be aggravated in a voluntary pasttime thats supposed to deliver pleasure?

[Dodo]

Unless there was something exceptional about the guy, I would move on. There is only so much you can take before you realize the frustration is not worth it, which sounds like a conclusion you're coming to. Since you brought the issue to his attention and he apologized, go ahead and give him one more chance by making an appointment. If he doesn't keep it, you have to let him go.

[Rudynate]

I'm wondering how many strikes does a good escort usually get before you give him up for good?

 

No rule. Do what feels right to you.

[+ oldNbusted]

For someone I like, I would make two attempts, then make it clear it was up to them to initiate a future meeting, knowing perfectly well they never will.

[BaronArtz]

So I have a situation where a escort that I have had several very fulfilling, positive experiences with over the past two years now has kind of flipped. The last three times I've contacted him to possibly set something up, he's canceled at the very last minute.

 

Well, obviously, he doesn't give a rat's ass about your business anymore. This can only be explained as

 

1. Something happened on his end. He has a sugar daddy, found hotter clients who pay more or developed a drug problem

2. Something happened during your latest sessions. You suddenly required a level of kink he can't provide. Or you bored the shit out of him.

3. Any combination of the above.

 

Whatever the reason is, it hurts. You probably thought you had a relationship with this guy, and he dumped you. Suddenly. Without explanation. As others advised you, you need to move on. Easier said than done!

 

You have my sympathy.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Fringe industry. Fringe characters.

 

How much is YOUR time worth? He's wasted quite a bit of it already.

[+ Oaktown]

So I have a situation where a escort that I have had several very fulfilling, positive experiences with over the past two years now has kind of flipped. The last three times I've contacted him to possibly set something up, he's canceled at the very last minute. We will agree on the time. I will verify it with him to make sure nothing has changed. I go through all the motions of getting ready then contact him again to let him know I'm on the way & he'll say something like "Don't leave yet because I'm not home."

 

 

Another provider with mental health issues.

[SizeQueen16]

Well, obviously, he doesn't give a rat's ass about your business anymore. This can only be explained as

 

1. Something happened on his end. He has a sugar daddy, found hotter clients who pay more or developed a drug problem

2. Something happened during your latest sessions. You suddenly required a level of kink he can't provide. Or you bored the shit out of him.

3. Any combination of the above.

 

Whatever the reason is, it hurts. You probably thought you had a relationship with this guy, and he dumped you. Suddenly. Without explanation. As others advised you, you need to move on. Easier said than done!

 

You have my sympathy.

 

 

What you are saying would actually make sense if I was the one chasing after him trying to make contact. He actually initiated contact with me first the last two times. He sent me a text to let me know he'd be in town & when he would be available.

'

[+ nycman]

Lots I could say....but why bother....when Reba said it best.....

 

[AquaNYC]

I had a similar experience months ago. Great experience with a provider. Scheduled follow up meetings and he consistently cancelled 1-2 hours before. It happened 2 other times. He reached out to set up another time, I told him that I'm not interested in that type of treatment - I can and do experience that on Scruff, why also with someone I'm paying?! I moved on. Too many other respectful, hot professionals out there to need to settle for that - move on.

[DTCG82]

I had a regular here in DC that I've spoken a lot about. He flaked on a LOT of people here but was consistent and reliable for me.

 

But after he flaked three times in a row, I had to say goodbye, unfortunately. It often left me scrambling because I don't have a lot of free time to hire. There ARE reliable escorts out there. Just gotta find them.

[KennF]

I'm not sure that I would give someone three chances. And if they contacted me because they were in town, then I'd ignore the message.

 

He's already given you a bad customer experience. So, why would you knowingly put yourself in a position to have a repeat bad experience?

[GTMike]

"What you are saying would actually make sense if I was the one chasing after him trying to make contact. He actually initiated contact with me first the last two times. He sent me a text to let me know he'd be in town & when he would be available."

 

Seems to me based on what you describe, that maybe he's putting you on some sort of "stand-by". For example, if he's finding other clients that perhaps maybe are "paying more" or he wants to have more clients in your area he's letting you know he's in town, but to him as a "back-up". ( or perhaps he has other things going on). Who knows just speculating, but regardless, it seems that he's not "cutting it off with you" entirely, but at the same time he's totally not respecting your good past history and your current time.

 

You just have to decide what you can live with balancing the uncertainity and potential humiliation of being "stood-up", versus if and when you're together you get what you want, he's respectful and cool then and you're comfortable, and you're not comprimising your integrity, potentially being treated as a "side chick".

[marylander1940]

So I have a situation where a escort that I have had several very fulfilling, positive experiences with over the past two years now has kind of flipped. The last three times I've contacted him to possibly set something up, he's canceled at the very last minute. We will agree on the time. I will verify it with him to make sure nothing has changed. I go through all the motions of getting ready then contact him again to let him know I'm on the way & he'll say something like "Don't leave yet because I'm not home."

 

One time he went out shopping and didn't realize the time, but we were able to reschedule. This last time, however, he was at a bar with friends. So I asked him if he would like to reschedule. He asked if I could contact him back in two hours. I reluctantly agreed. Two hours come & go. I do not hear from him again that night. He completely blew me off. Now obviously if this was someone that I had never dealt with before with positive history, I wouldn't even have bothered again after the first incident. I'm wondering how many strikes does a good escort usually get before you give him up for good? I should note that the guy did eventually apologize (after I brought to his attention that this keeps happening) He promised he'd make it up to me the next time he comes to town.

 

First of all I'm sorry about your experience, it must be very annoying. I don't know why he cancelled on you at the last minute, if I was you I'd move on.

[MikeyGMin]

potentially being treated as a "side chick"

That's an interesting perspective. Not going to make the OP feel better, but definitely food for thought.

[SizeQueen16]

I'm not sure that I would give someone three chances. And if they contacted me because they were in town, then I'd ignore the message.

 

He's already given you a bad customer experience. So, why would you knowingly put yourself in a position to have a repeat bad experience?

 

 

Simply because I have had multiple (more than three) great experiences with this particular provider. I enjoy & prefer consistency. Every now & then I might try someone new, but I like keeping things consistent once I find someone that knows what I like & does it well. This is a very recent negative turn of events. It's actually very disappointing because the interaction between he & I over the past couple of years did not start out this way.

[SizeQueen16]

"What you are saying would actually make sense if I was the one chasing after him trying to make contact. He actually initiated contact with me first the last two times. He sent me a text to let me know he'd be in town & when he would be available."

 

Seems to me based on what you describe, that maybe he's putting you on some sort of "stand-by". For example, if he's finding other clients that perhaps maybe are "paying more" or he wants to have more clients in your area he's letting you know he's in town, but to him as a "back-up". ( or perhaps he has other things going on). Who knows just speculating, but regardless, it seems that he's not "cutting it off with you" entirely, but at the same time he's totally not respecting your good past history and your current time.

 

You just have to decide what you can live with balancing the uncertainity and potential humiliation of being "stood-up", versus if and when you're together you get what you want, he's respectful and cool then and you're comfortable, and you're not comprimising your integrity, potentially being treated as a "side chick".

 

You might be right. There could have been someone that gave him multiple hours or offered more for a one hour. The reason that he gave me was that a friend of his took him out to a bar & they stayed out much longer than he anticipated. My issue is that he didn't bother to contact me to let me know that the time we agreed onwas no longer going to work. If i hadn't contacted him to check first, I would have made a blank trip. Being that he's coming from out of town...it doesn't seem like the money is all that important if he's using time that he has booked or could be booking clients to spend with friends. This provider once showed me the messages he gets of inquires for his profile whenever he comes to town. It was quite overwhelming.... literally pages of messages between multiple sites that he advertised on. At the time he was in the process of using someone else to answer and sift out the real clients from the ones that weren't really serious because he was having trouble with the demand. So I know he has plenty of options for new clients if he really wanted the work.

[BaronArtz]

"What you are saying would actually make sense if I was the one chasing after him trying to make contact. He actually initiated contact with me first the last two times. He sent me a text to let me know he'd be in town & when he would be available."

 

Seems to me based on what you describe, that maybe he's putting you on some sort of "stand-by". For example, if he's finding other clients that perhaps maybe are "paying more" or he wants to have more clients in your area he's letting you know he's in town, but to him as a "back-up". ( or perhaps he has other things going on). Who knows just speculating, but regardless, it seems that he's not "cutting it off with you" entirely, but at the same time he's totally not respecting your good past history and your current time.

 

You just have to decide what you can live with balancing the uncertainity and potential humiliation of being "stood-up", versus if and when you're together you get what you want, he's respectful and cool then and you're comfortable, and you're not comprimising your integrity, potentially being treated as a "side chick".

 

I didn't want to say it like that, but yes. That is absolutely correct. The OP is just the default option until something hotter or better-paying comes up. Sorry, pal! We don't use that word on this site. Move ON.

[+ Oaktown]

You are dealing with xxxx, after all. Move ON.

 

We don't use that word on this site.

 

Fringe industry. Fringe characters.

[Guy Fawkes]

I'd walk away. Too many guys are happy to have the business. Grandma say: "Burn me once shame on you; Burn me twice shame on me."

 

So I have a situation where a escort that I have had several very fulfilling, positive experiences with over the past two years now has kind of flipped. The last three times I've contacted him to possibly set something up, he's canceled at the very last minute. We will agree on the time. I will verify it with him to make sure nothing has changed. I go through all the motions of getting ready then contact him again to let him know I'm on the way & he'll say something like "Don't leave yet because I'm not home."

 

One time he went out shopping and didn't realize the time, but we were able to reschedule. This last time, however, he was at a bar with friends. So I asked him if he would like to reschedule. He asked if I could contact him back in two hours. I reluctantly agreed. Two hours come & go. I do not hear from him again that night. He completely blew me off. Now obviously if this was someone that I had never dealt with before with positive history, I wouldn't even have bothered again after the first incident. I'm wondering how many strikes does a good escort usually get before you give him up for good? I should note that the guy did eventually apologize (after I brought to his attention that this keeps happening) He promised he'd make it up to me the next time he comes to town.

[MikeyGMin]

You are dealing with xxx, after all. Move ON.

Are you fucking kidding me? On this site you're going to generalize and denigrate these guys like that. Why so bitter? Who hurt you boo?

[RenoSweeney]

Yep...happened to me...Guy from Denver canceled (as I was visiting his city) like the day before we were supposed to meet and he cancelled.

 

This past summer he was in NYC...it was a short window to make plans (but we did make plans) and then he cancelled 45 minutes before. He said he would explain why...but a response never came.

 

A few years back, the first time we met in NYC ... it was a great time at the Essex House. WOW!

 

He is a studly muscled guy...pretty incredible.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Are you fucking kidding me? On this site you're going to generalize and denigrate these guys like that. Why so bitter? Who hurt you boo?

 

I remember a time when the forum software wouldn't allow for certain words.

 

And yes, there are some members here who take every chance they can get to (unintentionally) exhibit their own self-loathing.

[bigvalboy]

There is one forum member here who proudly calls himself a whore...Who are we to judge. Does make for an interesting discussion though.