Not sure how to handle this situation?

[bigvalboy]

Hey Guys..OP here ...First off I want to Thank all of you for your excellent advice. (With the exception of one.) Me being new to the escorting business, I have a lot to learn. In looking back , I should have told this client, that once I am healed from my surgery we can begin to discuss our time together. I just thought if I had not stayed in touch I could have lost a potentially well paying client. Which is why I choose to stay in touch. @VictorPowers ... you mention this as well.

I have reached out to this client again, but on a Escort bases about his proposed dinner as well as the time I invested in him. I am currently waiting to see if he replies, if at all. I know it is my fault @Kevin Slater . Like I said I have a lot to learn.... @nate_sf , thanks for what you said about me joining the forum.

Thanks to all of you.

 

I like your posts MP, but in this situation I think you are wrong. If this happened between us, there isn't anyway I would pay for your time at dinner. I wouldn't even consider it. I've been hiring since I was 17 years old, and in all those years, which is a lot, only one escort has indicated that dinner would be for his time also. (Same thinking as say a Juan Vancouver) and I respect that, but I declined. I have never had an escort other than that one time want to be paid for dinner. On occasion, I've even had "top" escorts offer there time for free, since I was picking up the cost for travel. The only time I've paid for time for dinner is on extended hires like travel or over nights, where meals were within the time-frame of the hire, but In this case it is no longer an over night, It's just dinner.

 

I agree with this by @VictorPowers ...

 

I disagree. Investing a bit of time with the right clients can generate long lasting relationships. It's easier to keep a customer than find a new one.

 

But then again, I would agree with anything that Victor Powers said.

[mike carey]

I like your posts MP, but in this situation I think you are wrong. If this happened between us, there isn't anyway I would pay for your time at dinner.

I'm not so sure. In an established escort/client relationship (and I mean a history of hiring, not a history of talking) I absolutely agree (I had written 'you are correct' but my agreement doesn't make what someone else says correct). Of course it's not difficult to mask whether the dinner is on or off the clock it it's part of a longer appointment. I don't think a client has a reasonable expectation for dinner off the clock before they have had any meetings on the clock. Of course they can ask, but that's a different question.

But then again, I would agree with anything that Victor Powers said.

Haha, you've seen through me there, I've almost been seduced without him even trying to do so.

[BaronArtz]

I would like to add a follow-up to my post above. Looked at MP's ad today, August 13. The narrative now has a notice, as follows "NOTICE: I will be returning in late September. Please stay in touch"

 

That's fine. But since you are not going to be available for 6 weeks, yet ask clients to stay in touch, don't B*TCH about having extensive conversations - cybersex possibly - that you are not getting paid for.

[jawjateck]

I have reached out to this client again, but on a Escort bases about his proposed dinner as well as the time I invested in him.

 

That's the only way to close the deal or bring closure to someone who was never in your life anyway. Good luck!

[bigvalboy]

I don't think a client has a reasonable expectation for dinner off the clock before they have had any meetings on the clock. Of course they can ask, but that's a different question.

 

I agree 100%. I never expect or assume anything. I always ask if dinner is on the clock, and as I mentioned before, only one escort in, well more than 40 years of hiring, has indicated that he would expect to be paid for "all" of his time. Many escorts like Juan Vancouver feel that way and while I disagree, I respect his business practice. In MP's case, it's a little more complicated. Yes MP invested time, but so did the client. You could say that the client was 'strung along' through lengthy text while MP went through health issues. Everyone is different, but if I were the client, I would have stopped texting months ago, wished MP well, and called @VictorPowers for a little dinner off the clock. Who knows what might have developed.

 

Now where is that man located again? Come December, might be time to dust off the old skis.

[mike carey]

and called @VictorPowers for a little dinner off the clock. Who knows what might have developed.

Dinner with @VictorPowers on or off the clock? Well, maybe. But dinner would be a distraction! (And I'm a bottom. But I can adapt!)

[Michael Paul]

First off , I'm not bitching about anything, all I did was ask how do I handle this? I did not expect to get a beat down because of it. ..... as for my client, he knew when he first contacted me that I was due to have surgery. He was from out of state, therefore he too had to make plans to travel to Atlanta. There was a reason he wanted me, I was referred to him by another client. If he was willing to travel to me from out of state and do an overnight with me I felt I should have indulged him. It was he who continued the texting not me. I did not string him along. I'm not that kind of guy. We had a connection, and he was drawn to me. I'm a good guy, sweet and polite and honest. Something he found attractive...bla bla bla.. No matter what I say or how I try to explain myself about all of this, It's not working.

Guys, I thought this was supposed to be place where those of that are new to this business could get advice. Some of you have gave great advice and some of you have not. Perhaps this forum is not for me.

Thank you all for you time..

[big-n-tall]

First off , I'm not bitching about anything, all I did was ask how do I handle this? I did not expect to get a beat down because of it. ..... as for my client, he knew when he first contacted me that I was due to have surgery. He was from out of state, therefore he too had to make plans to travel to Atlanta. There was a reason he wanted me, I was referred to him by another client. If he was willing to travel to me from out of state and do an overnight with me I felt I should have indulged him. It was he who continued the texting not me. I did not string him along. I'm not that kind of guy. We had a connection, and he was drawn to me. I'm a good guy, sweet and polite and honest. Something he found attractive...bla bla bla.. No matter what I say or how I try to explain myself about all of this, It's not working.

Guys, I thought this was supposed to be place where those of that are new to this business could get advice. Some of you have gave great advice and some of you have not. Perhaps this forum is not for me.

Thank you all for you time..

 

I hope you don't let the negativity of a few chase you off. Some people have their very strong wrong-headed opinions about things. Take no heed of it.

 

This what I say to everyone... take in the stuff you can learn from (yes, even the negative). However, when people start to project their own perceptions of your words onto to you, ignore it. You, as a person, know who you are and shouldn't let their words wound you. These posters, unless they've met you and/or truly know you, should not be a concern. Honestly, it's nice to here diverse opinions, but truly the only ones that matter are from the ones who know you, care for you, love you... not from any unseen random on a forum you'll probably never meet.

 

We've all have had our clashes and negative bouts with posts and people. Take it in stride and you do you. It would be a great loss to lose yet another provider's input.

[+ VictorPowers]

All this love from the forum!

Thank you all

[mike carey]

Some of you have gave great advice and some of you have not. Perhaps this forum is not for me.

Michael, you have identified the suitability of this forum in this post. You said some great advice, some not. The forum is for you. There was always going to be a difference of opinion. A forum this size will not be unanimous. You can carry your relationship with this client forward in many ways. You can enjoy it for what it is, a respectful discussion, maybe including dinner meetings; you can decide to terminate it because you think it will go no further, and won't lead to a fee. You can decide that a fee is a condition of any move forward. It's all up to you. If you like a potential client, you can chat on line, you can accept a free meal, you can do anything else you want. None of this means you are being 'played'. Whether you choose to meet for a meal off the clock is up to you, there is no right or wrong answer. If you think that this could move forward, accept the meal (it's something), if you want to test his motivation tell him there will be a fee to meet.

[jawjateck]

Perhaps this forum is not for me.

 

There's treasure in this forum, and there's trash too. Profit from the treasures. Trash the rest. Learn to filter properly, and you will benefit. And it's OK to tune this forum out for a few days or weeks from time to time, just to maintain your sanity. :rolleyes:

[LADoug1]

For better or worse, you are simply one of the "strangest" escort contributors to these forums ever.

 

I say for better! I really enjoy Michael's posts and am glad to have him participating here in the forums.

 

The first quote is unkind. I don't understand why he feels this way.

 

I agree wholeheartedly with the second quote.

[LADoug1]

First off , I'm not bitching about anything, all I did was ask how do I handle this? I did not expect to get a beat down because of it. ..... as for my client, he knew when he first contacted me that I was due to have surgery. He was from out of state, therefore he too had to make plans to travel to Atlanta. There was a reason he wanted me, I was referred to him by another client. If he was willing to travel to me from out of state and do an overnight with me I felt I should have indulged him. It was he who continued the texting not me. I did not string him along. I'm not that kind of guy. We had a connection, and he was drawn to me. I'm a good guy, sweet and polite and honest. Something he found attractive...bla bla bla.. No matter what I say or how I try to explain myself about all of this, It's not working.

Guys, I thought this was supposed to be place where those of that are new to this business could get advice. Some of you have gave great advice and some of you have not. Perhaps this forum is not for me.

Thank you all for you time..

This forum IS the place for you. Just ignore unkind and misinformed replies from idiots. PLEASE continue to participate. Everyone, especially yourself, benefits.

[+ VictorPowers]

Sometimes the forum chat derails. If that's what deters you, then it may not be for you. Throw hundreds of horny men and hot providers on a site, and we all go a little nuts.

[Pepper Young]

Back on point, you're having dinner with a client; charge appropriately.

[nate_sf]

Michael, you have identified the suitability of this forum in this post. You said some great advice, some not. The forum is for you. There was always going to be a difference of opinion. A forum this size will not be unanimous. You can carry your relationship with this client forward in many ways. You can enjoy it for what it is, a respectful discussion, maybe including dinner meetings; you can decide to terminate it because you think it will go no further, and won't lead to a fee. You can decide that a fee is a condition of any move forward. It's all up to you. If you like a potential client, you can chat on line, you can accept a free meal, you can do anything else you want. None of this means you are being 'played'. Whether you choose to meet for a meal off the clock is up to you, there is no right or wrong answer. If you think that this could move forward, accept the meal (it's something), if you want to test his motivation tell him there will be a fee to meet.

 

The forum is not a place for consensus, and that's the point. There will be a range of opinions, and the hard part is choosing which one is the right one for you. @mike carey does a great job of summing up the range of possibilities - and no one choice is inherently better or worse than the others, depending on your outlook and business model.

 

The hard part is choosing, but particularly in this business if your intuition is pointing you in a certain direction, it's worth paying attention to it. The best guys do well because they have a good sense of themselves and that shows through in everything they do, in and out of the sheets.

[Deadlift1]

Some of you have gave great advice and some of you have not. Perhaps this forum is not for me.

I think you are right. You just got free advice from well seasoned clients and providers. You get one negative one and state this forum may not be for you. well the passive aggressive response worked well as some forum members asked that you stay. Grow up and strap on a nut already.

[Michael Paul]

I have read everyone reply... taking in all the positive... deleting out the negative. Which I see no reason for in the first place. Then I realize this is a place of opinions....Thank You @mike carey @LADoug1 @nate_sf .... even @Deadlift1 I've got a nice pair of hanging nuts, actually just added a third.

I have come to realize that one should not be reading replies if one is having a bad day....

[bigvalboy]

I have come to realize that one should not be reading replies if on is having a bad day....

 

I have often found that logging off for a few days helps sometimes also. The forum can be addicting, and taking a break every now and again helps me keep everything in focus.

 

Hope you stay around for awhile...

[Pepper Young]

My dad always told me, the rocks come with the farm.

[Michael Paul]

I have often found that logging off for a few days helps sometimes also. The forum can be addicting, and taking a break every now and again helps me keep everything in focus.

 

Hope you stay around for awhile...

Thank You

[+ poolboy48220]

My dad always told me, the rocks come with the farm.

Hahahaha.

 

It's the internet. You will never be free of trolls. Ignore them or engage them as you wish.

[KennF]

FWIW... As a professional, it is your responsibility to keep the boundaries intact.

 

That's REALLY difficult in this particular industry where you are giving intimacy and companionship. You should expect that some clients aren't going to be able to draw the lines between personal friend and professional relationship clearly.

 

There is nothing inherently bad with being friends with your clients, but it is your business and your time. If you screw up being a friend, then you lose a client. If you service a client poorly, then you lose a friend. As a new provider, it my be best to keep your personal life separate from your clients. At least until you develop your "sea legs".

 

In this case, you should decide how you want to proceed in this interaction. Since he is travelling in, I would guess you should go back to your escort-client position and make sure the on-the-clock piece is clear.

 

Just my tuppence.

[Michael Paul]

FWIW... As a professional, it is your responsibility to keep the boundaries intact.

 

That's REALLY difficult in this particular industry where you are giving intimacy and companionship. You should expect that some clients aren't going to be able to draw the lines between personal friend and professional relationship clearly.

 

There is nothing inherently bad with being friends with your clients, but it is your business and your time. If you screw up being a friend, then you lose a client. If you service a client poorly, then you lose a friend. As a new provider, it my be best to keep your personal life separate from your clients. At least until you develop your "sea legs".

 

In this case, you should decide how you want to proceed in this interaction. Since he is travelling in, I would guess you should go back to your escort-client position and make sure the on-the-clock piece is clear.

 

Just my tuppence.

Thanks for that advice ...