Too defensive when asked about location?

[misterlobo]

Hi all,

 

When I get asked about where in Philly I am located I get a bit defensive and try to politely decline the question. I am outcall only so when someone wants to know where I live, it kind of makes me nervous. I think I scared a potential client away by basically saying my location is unimportant but no worries I will be able to travel to your location if that's what you are really asking. His response was curt so I don't think he will want to book anymore.

 

Basically, is there a reason why if a client would want to know my location regardless? Am I being to nervous?

 

Thanks !

[+ HornyRetiree]

Hi all,

 

When I get asked about where in Philly I am located I get a bit defensive and try to politely decline the question. I am outcall only so when someone wants to know where I live, it kind of makes me nervous. I think I scared a potential client away by basically saying my location is unimportant but no worries I will be able to travel to your location if that's what you are really asking. His response was curt so I don't think he will want to book anymore.

 

Basically, is there a reason why if a client would want to know my location regardless? Am I being to nervous?

 

Thanks !

 

For me, as a client, I have no need to know where you are located if doing an outcall! I would only need directions if I were cumming to you!

[+ bashful]

For an outcall, I would be interested in knowing from what area you will be coming if I'm expected, or want to reimburse cab/uber/lyft fare. Secondary would be whether there will be a higher probability of late arrival due to distance, traffic, or public transportation options.

[coriolis888]

Another reason might be because a client might not want an escort to come to the client's home.

 

In that case, the client is willing to rent a hotel to meet with the escort for an out call. Knowing the approximate neighborhood where the escort is located is where the client will choose a hotel. This potentially saves both parties excess driving or travel time.

 

There does not have to be something nefarious in a client asking the general location of where an escort is based or located. If there is, I can't think of any.

[LaffingBear]

For me, as a client, I have no need to know where you are located if doing an outcall! I would only need directions if I were cumming to you!

I agree. If you're advertising outcalls, the only possibility I can imagine is that a potential client can't host, so he's trying to find where you live, leading up to suggesting he comes to you.

 

For an outcall, I would be interested in knowing from what area you will be coming if I'm expected, or want to reimburse cab/uber/lyft fare. Secondary would be whether there will be a higher probability of late arrival due to distance, traffic, or public transportation options.

I guess some of these are situationally legitimate concerns. If he is agreeing to pay cab fare, not just a flat travel fee, it might be a concern...but he should just ask what you anticipate the costs will be, and set a maximum.

[misterlobo]

For an outcall, I would be interested in knowing from what area you will be coming if I'm expected, or want to reimburse cab/uber/lyft fare. Secondary would be whether there will be a higher probability of late arrival due to distance, traffic, or public transportation options.

 

Thanks! To the first point, I let him know that I charge an extra fee for the first hour because of transportation costs and he seemed to be fine with the cost. The second is a point I did not think about and appreciate that!

 

Another reason might be because a client might not want an escort to come to the client's home.

 

In that case, the client is willing to rent a hotel to meet with the escort for an out call. Knowing the approximate neighborhood where the escort is located is where the client will chose a hotel. This potentially saves both parties excess driving or travel time.

 

There does not have to be something nefarious in a client asking the general location of where an escort is based or located. If there is, I can't think of any.

 

This did not even cross my mind, thanks! It seemed he wanted to meet me in his location but I can see how I may have just assumed where he was asking if I could travel to could be outside his home!

 

Thank you everyone, Im still really new to the business and not super sure about where boundaries are/always have a lingering fear of transphobic people looking to hurt me, so I really appreciate you all for helping!

[+ bashful]

the only possibility I can imagine is that a potential client can't host, so he's trying to find where you live, leading up to suggesting he comes to you.

 

Good point. And, the client may also be thinking of finding a hotel conveniently located for Mr. Escort to visit.

[misterlobo]

Do you think it would be appropriate if I apologized for possibly coming off defensively or should I just let this slide and have it as a lesson for next time?

[+ bashful]

Up to you. Apologies never hurt. Don't feel you have to give him your exact address. A general area should suffice. When I want to know where an escort will be hosting, I ask "whereabouts" or "in what area" will he be hosting. Have been told what hotel if they are visiting, or the address of their airbnb place. Other times just given the neighborhood if local. Don't overthink it.

[coriolis888]

 

 

Thank you everyone, I'm still really new to the business and not super sure about where boundaries are/always have a lingering fear of transphobic people looking to hurt me, so I really appreciate you all for helping!

 

 

With reference to your comment "people looking to hurt me" is always a potential but not a probable thing that could happen.

 

It is usually the client that is more at potential risk of being harmed (or robbed) than the escort.

 

I know from personal experience.

[MartyB]

Hi all,

 

When I get asked about where in Philly I am located I get a bit defensive and try to politely decline the question. I am outcall only so when someone wants to know where I live, it kind of makes me nervous. I think I scared a potential client away by basically saying my location is unimportant but no worries I will be able to travel to your location if that's what you are really asking. His response was curt so I don't think he will want to book anymore.

 

Basically, is there a reason why if a client would want to know my location regardless? Am I being to nervous?

 

Thanks !

It is irrelevant where u are located if you only do outcalls. This sounds like he's trying to determine what "kind of person" u are by the neighborhood u live in.

[misterlobo]

With reference to your comment "people looking to hurt me" is always a potential but not a probable thing that could happen.

 

It is usually the client that is more at potential risk of being harmed (or robbed) than the escort.

 

I know from personal experience.

Ah, I'm sorry for that bad experience you had Sometimes I forgot that just like the client is a stranger, I am too

 

I've had experience being threatened in just my everyday life so that's where my lingering fear comes from, though its been a few years since anything thankfully.

[+ bashful]

I've had experience being threatened in just my everyday life so that's where my lingering fear comes from, though its been a few years since anything thankfully.

 

Didn't think about that. I understand the caution.

[LADoug1]

For an outcall, I would be interested in knowing from what area you will be coming if I'm expected, or want to reimburse cab/uber/lyft fare. Secondary would be whether there will be a higher probability of late arrival due to distance, traffic, or public transportation options.

Just ask if transportation reimbursement is appropriate and if so what it would cost. No need to know originanation point.

[Becket]

Reminds me of the old Newlywed Show.

 

HOST, named Bob: "So Sally, where is the most unusual place you and your husband ever made whoopie?

 

Sally: In the butt, Bob.

[+ nycman]

I would bet he was just making polite conversation.

 

It's not something I would ask an escort if I was having

them come to me. Hell, I don't care if you're coming

from Mars. Just be here on time.

 

Nonetheless, I've made similar inocent inquires in the

course of polite conversation, and I've been turned off

when an escort reacts too strongly to a perceived

"invasion of privacy"....that really wasn't.

 

Sometimes it's easier just to move on, rather than start

the ridiculous "I'm not a stalker....really, I promise" routine.

That just makes you look even more like a stalker.

[rvwnsd]

Thanks! To the first point, I let him know that I charge an extra fee for the first hour because of transportation costs and he seemed to be fine with the cost. The second is a point I did not think about and appreciate that!

If you can't host, why would you charge an "extra" fee to cover transportation costs? The decision not to host is yours, not the client's. A better way to position this is to include the travel cost in your rate and explain that each hour after the first is at a lower fee.

 

Thank you everyone, Im still really new to the business and not super sure about where boundaries are/always have a lingering fear of transphobic people looking to hurt me, so I really appreciate you all for helping!

When a guy is coming to me I usually ask where in town they are coming from so I can gauge their travel time and provide suggestions for the best route to my place. For example, when I lived in San Diego the mapping apps would send people down a freeway that required them to cross six lanes of traffic (three of which are on-ramps from another very busy freeway) in a span of a quarter mile while driving uphill to get to my exit. Much easier if they took another freeway.

 

I understand the need to remain safe. However, when someone asks where you live you can simply tell them the general neighborhood and leave it at that. If they start asking for your address or cross-streets and you are doing an outcall, that's when it is time to not only stop providing information but consider declining the appointment.

[MikeyGMin]

send people down a freeway that required them to cross six lanes of traffic (three of which are on-ramps from another very busy freeway) in a span of a quarter mile while driving uphill to get to my exit.

Sounds like the University exit off of I-15 South.

[Maximus69]

Location plays a huge deal with escorting. One of my longtime regulars I met when I was hosting downtown in a hotel a few blocks from his apartment. If he first contacted me when I wasn't hosting at the hotel and told him to come uptown to my place, Im not sure he would have made the trek to me. But now were super close and he doesn't mind at all going uptown to my place, and the rare time he can host, I go to his place.

 

Sometimes I want to move closer to midtown, as I've had many clients turn me down because I lived too far, even if its just a 25-30 minute train ride, but I get it sometimes people don't want to wait that long I don't mind traveling far distances as long as the client is willing to wait.

[MartyB]

Location plays a huge deal with escorting. One of my longtime regulars I met when I was hosting downtown in a hotel a few blocks from his apartment. If he first contacted me when I wasn't hosting at the hotel and told him to come uptown to my place, Im not sure he would have made the trek to me. But now were super close and he doesn't mind at all going uptown to my place, and the rare time he can host, I go to his place.

 

Sometimes I want to move closer to midtown, as I've had many clients turn me down because I lived too far, even if its just 1 25-30 minute train ride, but I get it sometimes people don't want to wait that long I don't mind traveling far distances as long as the client is willing to wait.

You my friend could live in New Jersey and I wouldn't blink an eye..

[Maximus69]

You my friend could live in New Jersey and I wouldn't blink an eye..

 

even if I lived in camden or newark new jersey boo

[rvwnsd]

Sounds like the University exit off of I-15 South.

 

Actually, the Adams Ave/Madison Ave exit off the 805 south. First, you have to move to the left to avoid the I-8 west and east exits, then you have to get over several lanes, four of which are the entrances from I-8 west/east and, if memory serves correctly, there's an entrance from Camino De La Riena South to the 805 south. I would tell people to take the 805 to the 8 east to the 15 south and exit at Adams.

 

That University exit is awful. When I would take the 15 north I would have to exit at Adams, which is essentially the same as University going south 'cuz you have the University entrance, the ElCajon Blvd exit and entrance, and then the Adams exit.

 

Oh, and @azdr0710 , before YOU post it, here it is:

 

[+ azdr0710]

though it may be an outcall to my hotel, I sometimes ask the guy what area of town he lives in so I can try to make my hotel location easier for him or to gauge how long it may take him to arrive

[misterlobo]

If you can't host, why would you charge an "extra" fee to cover transportation costs? The decision not to host is yours, not the client's. A better way to position this is to include the travel cost in your rate and explain that each hour after the first is at a lower fee.

 

I hadn't thought of this! I guess since I've been having a bit of trouble getting clients I been trying to increase my pool and one of the ways was reducing my original cost and so I guess I haven't wanted to increase the cost in general to turn anyone away? Even if on my page I make a note that price is reduced for the following hours

 

Also I don't spend any money on transportation within certain limits of the city so I hadn't need to charge the 'extra' so far for clients ive seen

[rvwnsd]

I hadn't thought of this! I guess since I've been having a bit of trouble getting clients I been trying to increase my pool and one of the ways was reducing my original cost and so I guess I haven't wanted to increase the cost in general to turn anyone away? Even if on my page I make a note that price is reduced for the following hours

 

Also I don't spend any money on transportation within certain limits of the city so I hadn't need to charge the 'extra' so far for clients ive seen

OK, so the extra charge is for clients who are outside of a particular area. Perhaps I missed that in your original post.