Request for photos

[AndyDandy]

Is it normal practice or appropriate for an escort to ask for photos of a potential client?

 

I've never experienced this until yesterday when I was asked to send a photo so he "could get comfortable with" who he was going to meet. Meanwhile we hadn't even scheduled an appointment yet.

 

Would love to hear your thoughts and opinions on this.

[+ poolboy48220]

it's been discussed quite a bit before in the forum. It's not common, but it happens. Some clients don't mind, other guys see it as a sign to move on. It's always had a whiff of "I'm escorting just to have sex with hot guys" to me.

[MassageDrew]

Is it normal practice or appropriate for an escort to ask for photos of a potential client?

 

I've never experienced this until yesterday when I was asked to send a photo so he "could get comfortable with" who he was going to meet. Meanwhile we hadn't even scheduled an appointment yet.

 

Would love to hear your thoughts and opinions on this.

 

No experience personally. I feel like escorts/masseurs are just picky, and that's their choice. It just limits the number of potential clients. I've come across ads on Craigslist where they are only offering massages to fit, straight or bi guys. I don't think the massage is the ultimate plan.

[+ WhamIAm]

IMHO, never send a pic. At least one famous/notorious escort in the past has posted personal information and/or photos on his Twitter feed of guys who appear to have approached him as a potential client but whom he felt either burned or disrespected him. I always send a fairly detailed description of myself when setting up to give him the option to bail if I'm not to his liking. The chances of any particular escort using your pic for nefarious purposes is low, but why take that risk? Plus, if as noted above an escort is screening for hot guys only, move on. The escort should probably stick to Grindr.

[Nvr2thick4me]

My answer is always "No" and I do not schedule an appointment

[+ José Soplanucas]

it's been discussed quite a bit before in the forum. It's not common, but it happens. Some clients don't mind, other guys see it as a sign to move on. It's always had a whiff of "I'm escorting just to have sex with hot guys" to me.

 

I disagree with the last statement. Even when some guys I am sure have the pointed motivation , I think there is a wide diversity in the reasons why they do that. The bottom line, in my opinion, is that it is not fair that we know so much about an escort before setting an appointment while they are jumping into a blind date.

That is why I set up profiles in RM and a4a (my two main sources of providers) with my stats and a picture.

Poolboy is right, there is no unanimity on this, many clients reject the idea.

[+ sync]

It may also be a maneuver by escorts who are unable to transcend ethnicity differences to avoid in-person refusal tensions.

[+ HornyRetiree]

I agree with another post -- I have seen ALL of the escort -- naked and erect. It only seems fair to me that I am willing to be as open in allowing them to see me!

 

PLUS, from a personal & selfish point of view, I want them to have an opportunity to move on, just as I have as I look at escort ads.

 

It amazes me (and I have enormous respect) that there are guys who can open the door, greet a totally unknown man, and provide the interaction being sought!

 

I have always been a Bear who likes and played/plays with younger slender men. Always had a level of success that amazed my in better shape friends! They just shook their heads in awe as I consistenty scored the Hot guys.

 

Now, at 69, I don't have the same opportunities to connect and I hire on occasion -- Obviously I am looking for young (20s - very early 30s) slender guys -- hairy or not as long as they are natural and have the hair they were gifted.

 

When we are talking a potential 40-45 year difference in age and 100# difference in weight, I want them to totally know who they are agreeing to meet! I want them going into our session fully accepting of me.

 

So, I do not have to be asked! I offer and have pics available. I may lust for their meat but to me, they are so much more than their meat!

 

Their minds & personalities are as or more important than their cock!! I can tell alot by their ad and our communication. When the door opens, I want the greeting to seem like new friends who already know something about each other and are about to start learning more.

[AquaNYC]

Is it normal practice or appropriate for an escort to ask for photos of a potential client?

 

I've never experienced this until yesterday when I was asked to send a photo so he "could get comfortable with" who he was going to meet. Meanwhile we hadn't even scheduled an appointment yet.

 

Would love to hear your thoughts and opinions on this.

I have been asked on occasion as well. I would not recommend sharing a face picture if you are a professional and discretion is critical. There is face recognition software available (still very hard to get) and your face picture could be used to connect you to your photo on your company's website or other organization's websites. Just a word of caution.

 

A bit off topic, but what we really need to do is start a movement to overturn the illegality of escort services (prostitution) between respectful mutually consenting adults - gay and straight.

[+ Eric Hassan]

Is it normal practice or appropriate for an escort to ask for photos of a potential client?

 

I've never experienced this until yesterday when I was asked to send a photo so he "could get comfortable with" who he was going to meet. Meanwhile we hadn't even scheduled an appointment yet.

 

Would love to hear your thoughts and opinions on this.

 

Everyone takes his own approach to escorting. I would not say it's "normal" to ask for photos of a potential client because most escorts, myself included, do not ask for pictures of clients. Whether it's "appropriate" is an entirely different animal and is really up to each person to decide. No client should ever feel he needs to send a picture and no escort should think he is entitled to one AND both parties need to acknowledge that a picture request could turn into a deal-breaker for either party.

 

I do think it's helpful for clients to remember that when you are contacting an escort for the first time, he knows NOTHING about you. Literally the only things we know upfront are what you tell us - not only the things you do say, but what you don't say. And not just what you say, but how you say it. At first, to us, you are a random phone number or an email address. Yes, we escorts are generally great at rolling with whatever is presented to us, but we are evaluating you from the first moment you contact us. Your initial contact is your chance to make your first impression on us and it's our chance to clarify the first impression we made on you.

 

This initial communication is key. I can't tell you the number of times I've received an initial text message that simply says "Avail?" or "Hey." That's akin to walking into a restaurant and saying "Yo" to the host and then sitting and waiting - we know why you're contacting us, but you've suddenly made it work for us to get you to tell us what's up - immediately, you seem rude or scared or high and like a lot of work. I've had guys cease communication with me because I ask "By the way, what's your name?" and have even had guys call me pompous, arrogant, and a high-maintenance prick for asking for information beyond "Avail?" Some really fucking awesome first impressions!

 

When it comes to initial contact with an escort, I suggest leading with an introduction and conversation starter - something like "Hey! I'm Joe. Saw you on RM and want to set up some time to see you." This gives the escort something to work with and helps us see, right from the start, that you might be serious about hiring us. The more information you are willing to offer in a conversation, the better we are able to understand who you are, what you want, and if we're a match. You're under no obligation to share pictures or details that you don't want to share. Just remember, the more forthcoming you are, the better you can assure you're getting what you want.

[AndyDandy]

Everyone takes his own approach to escorting. I would not say it's "normal" to ask for photos of a potential client because most escorts, myself included, do not ask for pictures of clients. Whether it's "appropriate" is an entirely different animal and is really up to each person to decide. No client should ever feel he needs to send a picture and no escort should think he is entitled to one AND both parties need to acknowledge that a picture request could turn into a deal-breaker for either party.

 

I do think it's helpful for clients to remember that when you are contacting an escort for the first time, he knows NOTHING about you. Literally the only things we know upfront are what you tell us - not only the things you do say, but what you don't say. And not just what you say, but how you say it. At first, to us, you are a random phone number or an email address. Yes, we escorts are generally great at rolling with whatever is presented to us, but we are evaluating you from the first moment you contact us. Your initial contact is your chance to make your first impression on us and it's our chance to clarify the first impression we made on you.

 

This initial communication is key. I can't tell you the number of times I've received an initial text message that simply says "Avail?" or "Hey." That's akin to walking into a restaurant and saying "Yo" to the host and then sitting and waiting - we know why you're contacting us, but you've suddenly made it work for us to get you to tell us what's up - immediately, you seem rude or scared or high and like a lot of work. I've had guys cease communication with me because I ask "By the way, what's your name?" and have even had guys call me pompous, arrogant, and a high-maintenance prick for asking for information beyond "Avail?" Some really fucking awesome first impressions!

 

When it comes to initial contact with an escort, I suggest leading with an introduction and conversation starter - something like "Hey! I'm Joe. Saw you on RM and want to set up some time to see you." This gives the escort something to work with and helps us see, right from the start, that you might be serious about hiring us. The more information you are willing to offer in a conversation, the better we are able to understand who you are, what you want, and if we're a match. You're under no obligation to share pictures or details that you don't want to share. Just remember, the more forthcoming you are, the better you can assure you're getting what you want.

 

Eric - I agree with you 100%! I address the escort by his name (if he gave one), ask for location & availability and always end with "Thanks Andy". I try to engage polite conversation to get a feel for what they are into since everyone's ads are not always entirely true.

 

While I have had some unpleasant text conversations, I have never been asked to send a photo or even give my stats. Maybe I'm naive but I always assumed it was because I was paying for their time. If it was a NSA Craigslist hookup I could see the need for pics.

 

But this was different because this guy was adamant I send a pic and we hadn't even set up an appointment. It just seemed strange to me.

 

I thank you for your point of view. You're an escort here in NYC? I've never seen your ad before. Maybe you can PM me your details?

[mike carey]

This initial communication is key. I can't tell you the number of times I've received an initial text message that simply says "Avail?" or "Hey."

What Eric said. An escort is entitled to ask for a pic if he thinks that is necessary, and a client is entitled to say no and move on. As long as both realise that they are not entitled to have that exchange go only their way, it's ok. And if you're approaching an escort for an appointment it is not the same as approaching someone at a beat for sex, where complete anonymity may be what both parties want. You are both entitled to the level of information that makes you comfortable, and remember if you as a potential client are answering an ad, you already have a certain amount of information. Be reasonable in what you disclose about yourself. But that doesn't have to be a photo. (Exits stage left to send Eric a message that says, 'Avail?')

[+ José Soplanucas]

Eric - I agree with you 100%! I address the escort by his name (if he gave one), ask for location & availability and always end with "Thanks Andy". I try to engage polite conversation to get a feel for what they are into since everyone's ads are not always entirely true.

 

While I have had some unpleasant text conversations, I have never been asked to send a photo or even give my stats. Maybe I'm naive but I always assumed it was because I was paying for their time. If it was a NSA Craigslist hookup I could see the need for pics.

 

But this was different because this guy was adamant I send a pic and we hadn't even set up an appointment. It just seemed strange to me.

 

I thank you for your point of view. You're an escort here in NYC? I've never seen your ad before. Maybe you can PM me your details?

 

Andy, always check the message signature. Eric has there links to access his different outlets.

[MartyB]

I am very hesitant to provide a pic of myself to a new escort. I want to guard myself against improper use as I'm a professional business man. If that's a deal breaker I move on. I do provide a very descriptive characterization of my looks age and physical assets.

[+ Eric Hassan]

What Eric said. An escort is entitled to ask for a pic if he thinks that is necessary, and a client is entitled to say no and move on. As long as both realise that they are not entitled to have that exchange go only their way, it's ok. And if you're approaching an escort for an appointment it is not the same as approaching someone at a beat for sex, where complete anonymity may be what both parties want. You are both entitled to the level of information that makes you comfortable, and remember if you as a potential client are answering an ad, you already have a certain amount of information. Be reasonable in what you disclose about yourself. But that doesn't have to be a photo. (Exits stage left to send Eric a message that says, 'Avail?')

 

Exactly. Each party has the right to have his own standards/requirements/asks and each party has the right to comply or not. It's really helpful to remember that it's not personal when it doesn't work out, when you're not a match. To use my restaurant analogy, you're walking into an Italian place looking for northern Italian food and you find out that they only serve southern Italian food. You stay or you leave, but it's NOT PERSONAL - nobody is right or wrong or good or bad, it just is.

 

But this was different because this guy was adamant I send a pic and we hadn't even set up an appointment. It just seemed strange to me.

 

I understand it didn't work for you, but I can also see the escort's POV - if your appearance is important to him (and it apparently is, if he's requesting a picture), he would want to assess that BEFORE agreeing to meet you. It would be shitty of him to schedule an appointment with you without information that he requires, then ask you for that information (the picture), and then change his mind. Yes, the picture request is a deal-breaker for you, and that's OK - but it's probably better that you get to bow out before sending a picture and being told your appointment isn't going to happen, after all.

 

I thank you for your point of view. You're an escort here in NYC? I've never seen your ad before. Maybe you can PM me your details?

 

Yes, I am in NYC. I'm happy to PM you and I'm still going to put a plug here. My links are in my signature for you to follow. I recommend checking out my RM ad and using the password provided in the text of my ad to view my private gallery. Then I recommend heading over to my website - thedudenextdoor.com. Check out the "preview" tab where you can see some more video clips of me. Join my site, if you're so moved - there are 200+ videos of me on there. Also, check out the "more dude" section - there you can find links to my social media (I post regularly on Twitter - you can find hundreds of pictures and video clips of me there) as well as links to the studio porn I've done. Under the "meet the dude" section, you can see my meet page, which has TONS of information, and my calendar - so you can know when I'm in the city or on the road.

[mike carey]

Oh god, I sound like a shill.

 

What Eric said, you won't be disappointed.

[AndyDandy]

Andy, always check the message signature. Eric has there links to access his different outlets.

Sorry - I'm still a novice trying to get the hang of this.

[marylander1940]

Is it normal practice or appropriate for an escort to ask for photos of a potential client?

 

I've never experienced this until yesterday when I was asked to send a photo so he "could get comfortable with" who he was going to meet. Meanwhile we hadn't even scheduled an appointment yet.

 

Would love to hear your thoughts and opinions on this.

 

 

No...

[+ José Soplanucas]

Sorry - I'm still a novice trying to get the hang of this.

 

Andy, do not apologize. In no way I am complaining about your question. I am just pointing out to resources you may not be aware are available for you. All your questions are very welcomed.

[AndyDandy]

Andy, do not apologize. In no way I am complaining about your question. I am just pointing out to resources you may not be aware are available for you. All your questions are very welcomed.

I appreciate the guidance!

[MikeyGMin]

But this was different because this guy was adamant I send a pic and we hadn't even set up an appointment. It just seemed strange to me.

Andy you are not wrong. It is odd to be asked for a picture before an appointment is scheduled. It's not common in general but particularly odd in the early stages of communication. He was most likely screening for age, race, or size. I don't think these type of guys are really expecting to only hook up with "hot" guys, but they obviously have limits that restrict their ability to perform.

 

I'm pretty free with my pictures. I don't want to be judged though and have only been asked for a picture a couple times. I freely send it after the appointment has been made because I've always felt an escort has a right to know who is going to be opening the door. Just so they know they have the right person. They put themselves at risk going out to strangers' homes and hotel rooms, so anything I can do to put them at ease comes back to me in spades when we actually meet.