How often do you meet clients who cannot get hard?

[Mydavid]

I have a friend. After he had ED and failed with those pills, he stopped having sex with any guys since he couldn't have fun with other guys, though he told me he would jerk off once in a while.

 

How often do you meet clients who cannot get hard? Do some of them feel uncomfortable when finding they cannot get hard?

 

Also a question for clients, do you still go to escorts if you cannot get hard?

[Bearman]

Also a question for clients, do you still go to escorts if you cannot get hard?

 

Yes, I still meet with escorts sometimes even though I've suffered from ED for a few decades now. Pills also haven't really solved much for me either. In my case since I can't "preform" I chose escorts that would appeal to me servicing them. I do explain the issue to them and many do not care since it will be less work for them since there is no need to get me off. Sadly for me it is later long after they have left that I have to satisfy myself reminiscing on the encounter. On rare occasion I have been able to satisfy myself while servicing them.

[+ WhamIAm]

Also a question for clients, do you still go to escorts if you cannot get hard?

 

Hella yes! In fact, hiring is what cured me of isolating from any intimacy based on the unpredictability of my dick. For reasons best left to my GP and my shrink to debate, it's become harder and harder for me to get and stay hard, especially with a partner. So, for more years than I care to admit, my sex life consisted entirely of whacking off to porn. I just didn't want to face actually finding someone I was interested in/who was interested in me and then have that awkward moment when my body didn't do what my mind and spirit wanted it to.

 

Well, that kinda sucked. For me, sex is about more than just getting off. I enjoy the intimacy, the mutual exploration of each other, the dynamics as much if not more than ejaculation. That's what finally made me decide to hire. Even on the first hires, I was incredibly self-conscious about it. Had some awesome escorts who made me feel fine about it and helped me find ways to receive immense physical pleasure regardless, and some whose reactions ranged from disdain to being a total asshole about it.

 

So now, I'm totally upfront about it -- "Listen, sometimes my dick is very uncooperative. That doesn't mean I'm not having fun. It is what it is, and I'm not bothered by it. Don't you be either. Please don't be shy about playing down there." I was mostly a top before the air leaked out of the tire, so I actually look for vers/top or (truly) vers guys and invite them to bring some of their favorite toys. Just because I may not get hard doesn't mean I don't want to fully enjoy a fine ass when it's in front of my face. And, yes, occasionally I bring along a strap on. So, it need not be a totally "service" encounter if that's not what he's looking for.

 

Seeing a gooooooooood (I can't emphasize that enough) escort will likely help your friend get over any shame or embarrassment he may feel about his ED. And, it will help him learn how he might get sexual pleasure without a raging hard boner. For me, when I am erect an escort can help sustain that if I let him take control and he's relatively gentle with oral. With a couple of guys, I've achieved penetration for some period of time. Most important, I've discovered places on my body (especially just above and just below the uncooperative member) that, properly stimulated, can blow my mind. I may not be hard, I may not come, but I get a raging orgasm far more intense and long-lasting than I did when I would just point and shoot. Once your friend finds those, he needs to communicate those to his guy.

 

Still, just for old times sake, I encourage them to try to be King Arthur and remove the Sword from the Stone.

 

Tell him to go hire. Someone good. Probably some of the dudes on this board. Be upfront. Find someone who'll help him explore other means of gratification. Enjoy the intimacy, if nothing else. The freedom of hiring means you really don't need to focus on impressing the other guy with your manhood. Just let go of the bad feels about it and have fun. Do that, and it can translate over into his personal life as well. A good man who knows and respects him (rather than some dude off of Grindr) may not give a damn and find ways to please him as much as he wants to please his partner.

 

Tell him to go get on RM and read these boards already. Time's a wastin'.

[Mydavid]

Tell him to go hire. Someone good. Probably some of the dudes on this board. Be upfront. Find someone who'll help him explore other means of gratification. Enjoy the intimacy, if nothing else. The freedom of hiring means you really don't need to focus on impressing the other guy with your manhood. Just let go of the bad feels about it and have fun. Do that, and it can translate over into your personal life as well. A good man who knows and respects him (rather than some dude off of Grindr) may not give a damn and find ways to please him as much as he wants to please his partner.

 

Thanks a lot for your advice. I will tell him.

[+ TheBigO]

Hella yes! In fact, hiring is what cured me of isolating from any intimacy based on the unpredictability of my dick....

 

For me, sex is about more than just getting off. I enjoy the intimacy, the mutual exploration of each other, the dynamics as much if not more than ejaculation....

@WhatIAm, Let the church say AMEN.

 

For those times that I am so exhausted and disconnected, hiring is the best way for me to get grounded and have more fun than finding another professional who accepts insurance. These sessions are a perfect me time, getting me out of my head, connecting to another, and just letting go.

 

In most cases, with a massage/ body contact, low-level growling relaxes and releases the stress. The more connected and intimate the session, generally provides a wonderful, visible, and audible release of the tension.

 

However, no matter how kind, caring, or sexy my buddy is, getting hard, staying hard, or even having a visible ejaculation won't be happening..the spirit is willing but BigO's little guy doesn't want to play. But now thanks to WhatIAm, I have a much better reply than I had before.

So now, I'm totally upfront about it -- "Listen, sometimes my dick is very uncooperative. That doesn't mean I'm not having fun. It is what it is, and I'm not bothered by it.

[+ Lance_Navarro]

There's not much I can say that @WhamIAm hasn't already said, and stated very well. Thanks!

 

Its pretty often that I have clients with ED, and in fact quite a few of my regulars experience it, usually due to medications they are taking. The body has so many wonderful and erogenous zones so I help them explore all the parts of their bodies that feel great, and as has been stated I still give plenty of attention to their cock, cause even if they don't get hard, it still feels good. If I feel they would be comfortable discussing it I will ask if they have tried pills or injections to treat ED, as I have both.

 

I do think it's a good idea to bring it up when scheduling. Simply acknowledging a problem may alleviate some of the stress, and if the ED is only occasional and situational, lessening the stress may help with the erection.

[+ glennnn]

I also struggle with ED, but I still see my escorts, because I have a plethora of possible remedies including pills, cock rings, oral given and received, etc. that work to some degree. Most recently I've added Trinidad injections in my cock and they work the best. If all else fails, I suck him off and use my hand on my semi. Not one escort has reacted negatively. In fact, they are really proud and happy for me if they can help me to cum. AND it all feels good.

[+ OliverSaks]

Zero issues with clients who aren't able to get / stay hard.

 

But, definitely helpful to let us know beforehand if your D is temperamental so that we don't feel like we are failing.

 

Also, orgasm shouldn't be the goal!

 

Echo the above.

[+ glennnn]

I also struggle with ED, but I still see my escorts, because I have a plethora of possible remedies including pills, cock rings, oral given and received, etc. that work to some degree. Most recently I've added Trinidad injections in my cock and they work the best. If all else fails, I suck him off and use my hand on my semi. Not one escort has reacted negatively. In fact, they are really proud and happy for me if they can help me to cum. AND it all feels good.

 

God damned auto correct!!!!!!!!!!!!! I added Trimix not Trinidad, for fuck's sake!!!!!

[Phil_musc]

I'm glad you clarified that, Glenn. I was thinking you were advocating trips to the Caribbean to clear up ED. I was packing my bags. . .

[Chuckball]

God damned auto correct!!!!!!!!!!!!! I added Trimix not Trinidad, for fuck's sake!!!!!

I didn't know what Trinidad injections were so I Googled it and indeed there is such an ED remedy. I will now Google Trimix.

[+ tylerthebadwolf]

Boners aren't everything. For some guys, they aren't anything.

 

Much as I love a big hard penis (and, man, I REALLY do), there's so much stuff to be had between two men that isn't limited by ED. It is limited by fear of rejection or discomfort about one's situation, though. My advice is to talk about it before, during, and after your session with a pro. Be clear about your wants and perceived limitations, and help your guy understand what you like and what gets you off that maybe doesn't orbit around an erection. I'm a big fan of prostate massage and have had enough guys shouting and jizzing over that – even without a rock hard bone – to know the penis isn't everything.

 

If your body doesn't work like it did once upon a time, it's time to learn about other ways that it does work. And having a partner you trust (especially a pro, who shouldn't offer any potential for rejection) can help you feel stuff you didn't know was even an option.

 

Just my ¢2.

 

-t

[+ VictorPowers]

It doesn't happen all too often. If that occurs, I just get creative on pleasing them any way I can. I'm too persistent to let a limp dick get in the way of my client having fun.

[+ José Soplanucas]

I started Having some problems with my erection in my middle 40s, after the love of my life dies from cancer. I never found out the psychological connection, but It was kind of traumatic, I used to be like a super top, and then I started to not know whether or not I was going to be able to perform. I lost interest on hooking up, period, escorts or vocational sluts like myself .

To make it worse, when I passed my 50s I started to feel exhausted and sleepy all the time, and my libido just died, so I went to the Dr. I as diagnosed hypothyroidism and started a treatment with a daily dose of T4. The improvement was quick, and my libido was back, but my erections were still unreliable. I usually was able to perform at my best the first time I would hook up with a guy, but the second time and after I would not get hard enough to penetrate him.

It was frustrating and my super top ego was still damaged and insecure, so I switched to oral sex. This is the time earn I started to be more active in the forum, I would hire top escorts who were into kissing and w would avoid penetration, guys like https://rent.men/PlayElii.

About 2 years ago I tried my first Viagra.

Now I am back, baby.