Who do you tell that you're an escort?

[Mocha]

Well, an update: I just told this guy I was seeing that I escort. I kind of fought it because I try to keep that information personal, and again, literally nobody else knows; but I really like this guy and he brought up the relationship question, so I knew I had to tell him before things went any further. He ended up being really OK with it, and hooray! Now somebody knows. He's even gone so far as to offer to be the one who checks where I am and to check up on me if I don't return home by certain time. It's a little bit of a weight off my shoulders.

 

Well that's good. But don't get too lax or tell ALL because I've had some people say they're cool, and then stab me in the back later in the relationship. Not to be a downer or distrustful, but you still don't know the person too well and things like sex and money and such still cause people to turn evil. It's the people that get closest who you let your guard down the most. I had met one guy couple months ago and told him I was an escort. He said he was cool and wanted to do it also perhaps...but then he started asking how much I make, saying if we get together I can't kiss clients, etc. I'm like whoa whoa whoa. We ain't doing all that.

 

But the key thing in your situation is that you did allow some time to get to know each other before telling. I've had the best reception when I did it that way and got to know the person first over weeks. Not just come out on the first, second or third date

 

Of course it's not clear if some of the other people here who were suggesting that "everyone knows" were told right away, or after some time knowing them. Of course, everyone can know...but perhaps it's the timing that's important. Though, some people expect things to be told right off the bat.

 

Now...just to be clear, in my above post, these situations weren't from strangers being solicited. Its not like I showed up to and tried to solicit randoms at bars and casinos and such. I don't do all that. These were people I had gotten to know and trust.

[MassageDrew]

My doctor. Im very open woth my doctor now and I'm just a client. She's very good at giving me advice on protection and keeping myself healthy.

[Bearofdistinction]

My roommate knows so he is always wanting to get a special discount from me

 

I have to lock my door at night as I sleep naked, I don't want to wake up in the middle of the night with my boyhole swallowing something big inside

 

Well then -- Give your Roommate My Address~

[+ Dane Scott]

Since the start of my escort career I was completely honest with my friends and family. Even my older nieces and nephews know. Both my parents are gone. I consider myself a lucky man for having all the people in my life that support and never have judged me.

[+ VictorPowers]

I tell all of them

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. That I'm a model

[+ VictorPowers]

I tell all of them

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. That I'm a model

[P Gren]

Very believable

[P Gren]

Very believable

[TruHart1]

I tell all of them

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. That I'm a model

You look exactly like a model who would be in demand all over the world, Victor!!!

 

TruHart1

[TruHart1]

I tell all of them

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. That I'm a model

You look exactly like a model who would be in demand all over the world, Victor!!!

 

TruHart1

[BigK]

So I think about this a lot and was literally having this discussion this week: nobody in my life knows I'm an escort. There's only one person I've met offline who knows, and that's because... well, they escort themselves (@Eric Hassan, what's good?).

 

I own my home and rent out the basement to my sister, who seems not to question when I host incalls. Either she thinks they're just random hookups, or she knows what I'm doing and hasn't brought it up at all.

 

I'm conflicted and wish I could tell people. I don't actually know what's stopping me. I have trans friends, but none who escort. In fact, one of my closest trans friends is a social worker who definitely looks down his nose at people with active sex lives, period. He's preached to me constantly about STI treatment and prevention. (The great irony is one of the things I do when I'm not escorting is work as a sexual health educator.) So, while I really love my escort work and think it's a great fit for me in my overall career and goals, I worry that some of my closest friends can be... judgmental.

 

At the same time, I know I need to tell someone for safety reasons. I've absolutely been in situations where I've felt uncomfortable or threatened by clients. I've been hurt by clients. (See also: why I don't use Backpage anymore.) And every time I leave such situations, I think: "if this man had killed me, nobody would know."

 

Sorry to revive a dead thread, but... ugh! It's complicated and I feel like I don't know what to do here.

 

Are there any clients that you are particularly close to? You might ask him to be your check in and out person by phone, and offer a slightly discounted rate in the future. You'd be assured of no judgment on his part. Any escort I decide to see regularly I usually end up liking as a person and would be honored to help them out.

 

I think it's important to find someone given your concerns. How about getting to know another escort near you and offer the same service in trade? You could be his/her back up person. I find you very attractive and I enjoy your intelligent posts. If I'm ever in Baltimore I'll look you up.

[Dave]

I've told everyone. my lovers, my parents, my kids, my siblings... doctors, my friends, people I know as acquaintances (if they ask that most-American-of-questions early on in the conversation, "what do you do?") and even people I'm sitting next to on planes. it's not that I'm trying to shock them, I'm just trying to normalize the work a bit. imo, escorting ought to be something that's not shameful, and I hope that as a non-drug addicted, honest, well-educated, well-spoken, in-it-by-choice escort, I can present as a sort of role model, of a newer breed of worker.

[Mocha]

I've told everyone. my lovers, my parents, my kids, my siblings... doctors, my friends, people I know as acquaintances (if they ask that most-American-of-questions early on in the conversation, "what do you do?") and even people I'm sitting next to on planes. it's not that I'm trying to shock them, I'm just trying to normalize the work a bit. imo, escorting ought to be something that's not shameful, and I hope that as a non-drug addicted, honest, well-educated, well-spoken, in-it-by-choice escort, I can present as a sort of role model, of a newer breed of worker.

 

Ok so I'm curious, exactly HOW do you explain this to people? You must be saying it in an extremely ambiguous fashion. I mean, don't you ever get the dreaded, "I DONT PAY FOR SEX, HMMMPHH" and possible nasty people who go around in public telling other people in attempt to shame? Plus...you have another career/job, so how can you possibly be so open about being an escort.

 

Because most times when I (used to) tell people, I'm not trying to get anything from them. So when they come off saying they don't pay, they automatically come off looking ignorant. Once escort advised me I shouldn't get bothered by it. And I said no, I don't get bothered...but if someone is so intimidated that they have to utter disapproval when non was warranted, they've already established that they feel they are above me, and I'm beneath them.

 

It's great you're trying to normalize the work, but it has to start with the media. The government. No 1 person is going to fix America's ignorance. One of my relatives was watching some show today, can't remember what it's called. But one of the characters had mentioned "male prositute" a couple of times in a condescending and outwardly loud way that would shame and turn heads. And in the sentence, it was said in a way denying that the person is actually male prostitute.

 

That's the kind of bullcrap that people in America are still stuck up. Exclaiming you're an escort is going to turn heads and make the room quiet. Then if you're Black (which I understand you're not) oh God....it's like coming out gay in the 50s. Remember, White people started coming out gay before we did, and even then they had to hide behind a ficus tree and a super deep, unrecognizable voice.

 

Just like it wouldn't do justice for a Black person to come out gay back then, it's still equally that way for a Black person to come out as an escort now. I mean, we're just barely coming out as gay athletes and such. Can you imagine,

 

ESPN/CNN/WORLD NEWS HEADLINES:

Newly signed Black male athlete/Movie Star/Musician IS ALSO a gay male escort!!!!! OH MY GOD. The world would just explode. Life would end as we know it. Jesus would come back and take back his people and it would be the end of time.

 

People here are just ignorant. We've got a long way to go. Like I said, White guys are more privileged to be able to come out and express sexual freedom AND.....AND.......AAAAAANNNNNDDDD....BE ACCEPTED FOR IT!

 

No matter how much we try to normalize and get things accepted, it just adds to the sticker shock. That's why I don't tell anyone anymore. Keep these nosy trecherous bitches out of my business.

[Michael Paul]

I have only told a few friends and my Doctor.

[scottspearsxxx]

A lot of people just know from my years and years of doing porn...