Need Advice On Cancelling An Appointment

[Dmitri]

Hey guys....need some advice here......the situation:

 

I am on a business trip to NYC......I am new at this and called a masseur at 9pm to book a two hour session the following day at 2pm. He was really nice on the phone and we chatted for about 20 minutes. Very personable guy. We confirmed the time....day...location and were good to go. The next morning I was a bit nervous since this is new to me and decided to cancel. I emailed him at 8am and told him I needed to cancel since I had a business meeting. ( not really, but thought it was a good excuse.) I never heard back from him until 12 Noon when he texted me to call him. I called and he was very nice but unhappy since he said that he had cleared his afternoon schedule for me and cancelling on such short notice that I should have called or texted him....not email since in today's world people don't check email that much.....and he just read my email at 12 Noon. He said between 9pm the night before when I booked and 12 noon when he got my email he had turned away 4 clients for my time slot. Now on his ad he does not have any cancellation policy......but he did say that cancelling on such short notice is not cool. He gave me the option ( since he takes credit cards) of paying for the cancelled appointment in full online so he does not miss the income.....and I can re-schedule anytime that works for me and my next session will be free. Since I do not live in the area and do not know when I will be out here again I am not sure about that..........so I need feedback....who is right or wrong here? Should I pay him since I did cancel on short notice...( and he is offering a free session next time to compensate me)........very confused on what to do......feedback?

[Maximus69]

Heres my opinion, you technically don't own an escort/masseur anything.... so you could have not wrote back at all, It's just common courtesy and respect to communicate back. So Im very glad that you took the time to email him that you could not meet as some people just stop writing or don't show up. I wish you would have called/texted him as he would have probably received the message quicker, but it was 8am so he was probably asleep? so you may not wanted to wake him up i think?

 

If I was the escort/masseur I would just let it go and not take any money from you. The email and apology would be fine enough for me. I mean if your escorting long enough you know that in this business, its never certain until you meet that person face to face.

 

*Just do me one thing @Dmitri if you ever decide to hire an escort/masseur again, please make sure you are serious about it, I know things happen where you can't meet but you said you cancelled because you got nervous, so next time just make sure your comfortable and confident with hiring an escort before you book him. Happy holidays to u papi

[+ WilliamM]

No. If you lived in NYC or nearby, I would have given the same answer.. But next time, please keep any appointment you make with an escort.

 

My first time was very different, I met an escort in a bar whom I really liked. We agreed that he would travel down from New York to Philly where I live some time during the next ten day.

 

Meeting him in person first made all the difference.

[Nvr2Thick]

Any time I've had to cancel on short notice, less than 24 hours, I've paid in full or attempted to pay in full. This masseur does not have a cancellation policy, but you did screw him out of a substantial two hours of income because you've inflicted your own hesitance on him. Kudos to this masseur for maintaining his professionalism and attempting to salvage the business relationship. Not everyone in the escort or masseur business would be so polite. The masseur is right about texting or calling vs. email. I'd imagine that because of your nervousness you might not have wanted to call, but the immediacy of a text or a call might have helped to meet both your needs and the needs of the masseur.

 

Edited:

You might see if you arrange a quick handshake meeting to pay the masseur in person to return the favor of his gracious response. This might also help you to get over some of your fears and doubts.

[+ VeryHappyCustomer]

I agree with @Nvr2Thick.

 

I wouldn't give a stranger a credit card number. I'd pay him in person or mail him cash. Expect nothing in return.

[bobnyc]

You booked a substantial amount of time for the massage (2hrs) and did very little to contact him last minute (emailed only, no call or text). Only you know the real reason (anxiety). I think you do owe him something for that, maybe not the two hour fee though.

 

I hate last minute cancellations by masseurs or escorts. Some offer discounts when they do this. It's actually very gratifying when they throw in a discount in for the next session for the inconvenience. It makes me respect them more since they show respect for me. It's inspires my loyalty and since I hire fairly regularly it usually pays off.

 

It's a little odd to me that so far the two masseurs say you don't owe him anything and the two clients (and now three) say that you do.

[MikeyGMin]

Ouch. It's hard not to be harsh. Not because you canceled, but because you didn't man up and call or text him to make sure he got as much notice as possible. I'm sure that was all bundled up with your nerves.

 

If there is some way for you to get him half of the payment in cash, that would be a stand-up thing to do, but giving him your credit card is probably not a good idea. You might have to live with him thinking you are a jerk. He is right that it was not cool, but it won't be the first or last time that someone flaked on him.

[+ nycman]

You cancelled.

 

With less than 24 hours notice.

 

Without a good reason. (your nerves?...your problem).

 

You owe him for the session.

 

Personally, I think his offer is more than generous.

 

I however would never give out my credit card information.

 

Arrange to meet him somewhere public and hand over the cash.

It MIGHT also help you get over your nerves to meet him without

the pressure of a massage. Hopefully, in the future then you can

take him up on his (IMHO) generous offer.

[Maximus69]

You booked a substantial amount of time for the massage (2hrs) and did very little to contact him last minute (emailed only, no call or text). Only you know the real reason (anxiety). I think you do owe him something for that, maybe not the two hour fee though.

 

I hate last minute cancellations by masseurs or escorts. Some offer discounts when they do this. It's actually very gratifying when they throw in a discount in for the next session for the inconvenience. It makes me respect them more since they show respect for me. It's inspires my loyalty and since I hire fairly regularly it usually pays off.

 

It's a little odd to me that so far the two masseurs say you don't owe him anything and the two clients (and now three) say that you do.

 

Not odd at all , I guess I've learn its just better to move on than to argue with a client who's cancelled last minute. Its not worth any stress to go back and forth with someone you haven't even met yet, and someone who you don't know was serious in hiring in the first place. I guess Im a non confrontational person and I have had many guys who have booked meetings and day of the meeting I don't hear from them...and I would rather move on and spend time finding a legit client than spend time wanting money from a no-show client. I mean its wrong that the op cancelled but it won't be the first and last time, it unfortunately comes with escorting. I give much respect to those clients who cancel but still communicate with the escort and state they can't meet.

[MiamiLooker]

Hey guys....need some advice here......the situation:

 

I am on a business trip to NYC......I am new at this and called a masseur at 9pm to book a two hour session the following day at 2pm. He was really nice on the phone and we chatted for about 20 minutes. Very personable guy. We confirmed the time....day...location and were good to go. The next morning I was a bit nervous since this is new to me and decided to cancel. I emailed him at 8am and told him I needed to cancel since I had a business meeting. ( not really, but thought it was a good excuse.) I never heard back from him until 12 Noon when he texted me to call him. I called and he was very nice but unhappy since he said that he had cleared his afternoon schedule for me and cancelling on such short notice that I should have called or texted him....not email since in today's world people don't check email that much.....and he just read my email at 12 Noon. He said between 9pm the night before when I booked and 12 noon when he got my email he had turned away 4 clients for my time slot. Now on his ad he does not have any cancellation policy......but he did say that cancelling on such short notice is not cool. He gave me the option ( since he takes credit cards) of paying for the cancelled appointment in full online so he does not miss the income.....and I can re-schedule anytime that works for me and my next session will be free. Since I do not live in the area and do not know when I will be out here again I am not sure about that..........so I need feedback....who is right or wrong here? Should I pay him since I did cancel on short notice...( and he is offering a free session next time to compensate me)........very confused on what to do......feedback?

 

What do you think you should do? You have the option to pay him (full or partial) or not pay him anything. How does each option make you feel? If you feel comfortable and justified to pay him nothing, then do that. If you feel otherwise, then pay him something.

[Kevin Slater]

Ouch. It's hard not to be harsh. Not because you canceled, but because you didn't man up and call or text him to make sure he got as much notice as possible. I'm sure that was all bundled up with your nerves.

 

If there is some way for you to get him half of the payment in cash, that would be a stand-up thing to do, but giving him your credit card is probably not a good idea. You might have to live with him thinking you are a jerk. He is right that it was not cool, but it won't be the first or last time that someone flaked on him.

 

Who says you need to give him your credit card details? Venmo or PayPal gets him the money (which I say he is owed-- at least 50% of it) and not the credit card details.

 

Kevin Slater

[NotMike]

I had to cancel an appoint last minute once for a personal emergency when I was visiting NYC. I called the masseur and I offered to pay for the appointment, I just think that was the right thing to do. The masseur understood but told me it was not necessary, I insisted and we agreed on half the fee. I got his Pay Pal information, which I would think most people now have and sent the fee. It's an easy way to transfer money and no credit card information given. I did call him on another visit and he gave me 90 minutes for a 60 minute fee and we had a very nice time.

[marylander1940]

Hey guys....need some advice here......the situation:

 

I am on a business trip to NYC......I am new at this and called a masseur at 9pm to book a two hour session the following day at 2pm. He was really nice on the phone and we chatted for about 20 minutes. Very personable guy. We confirmed the time....day...location and were good to go. The next morning I was a bit nervous since this is new to me and decided to cancel. I emailed him at 8am and told him I needed to cancel since I had a business meeting. ( not really, but thought it was a good excuse.) I never heard back from him until 12 Noon when he texted me to call him. I called and he was very nice but unhappy since he said that he had cleared his afternoon schedule for me and cancelling on such short notice that I should have called or texted him....not email since in today's world people don't check email that much.....and he just read my email at 12 Noon. He said between 9pm the night before when I booked and 12 noon when he got my email he had turned away 4 clients for my time slot. Now on his ad he does not have any cancellation policy......but he did say that cancelling on such short notice is not cool. He gave me the option ( since he takes credit cards) of paying for the cancelled appointment in full online so he does not miss the income.....and I can re-schedule anytime that works for me and my next session will be free. Since I do not live in the area and do not know when I will be out here again I am not sure about that..........so I need feedback....who is right or wrong here? Should I pay him since I did cancel on short notice...( and he is offering a free session next time to compensate me)........very confused on what to do......feedback?

 

You talked for 20 minutes... yet you cancelled on him by email?

 

I think you need to put your life together before engaging with others.

 

Answering your question: send him $50 as a cancellation fee and move on, but please make up your mind, I get the feeling this is the tip of the iceberg and you might behave this way with others too.

[marylander1940]

Who says you need to give him your credit card details? Venmo or PayPal gets him the money (which I say he is owed-- at least 50% of it) and not the credit card details.

 

Kevin Slater

 

he doesn't mean it, the OP would never do it, it's just for us to tell him; "please don't do it, we care about you..."

[marylander1940]

You cancelled.

 

With less than 24 hours notice.

 

Without a good reason. (your nerves?...your problem).

 

You owe him for the session.

 

Personally, I think his offer is more than generous. .

 

I however would never give out my credit card information.

 

 

I agree with you!

 

 

Arrange to meet him somewhere public and hand over the cash.

It MIGHT also help you get over your nerves to meet him without

the pressure of a massage. Hopefully, in the future then you can

take him up on his (IMHO) generous offer.

 

Why? He (the OP) will cancel again... or won't show up.

 

He should just use PayPal, beside the pressure of a massage I loved that phrase specially considering a businessman on a biz trip fearful of it that has to cancel with a dumb excuse. LOL

[marylander1940]

What do you think you should do? You have the option to pay him (full or partial) or not pay him anything. How does each option make you feel? If you feel comfortable and justified to pay him nothing, then do that. If you feel otherwise, then pay him something.

 

it's more than that, the OP admits he made plans for 2 hours and cancel by text just out of fear... he's admitting wrongdoing.

[Maximus69]

wow i wish I had y'all to back me up every time a client cancels on me . If I asked every client that cancel on me for a payment cancellation fee I would be retired by now

 

But honestly If i ever did ask for any money for a cancellation, I feel like Iwould be called every name of the book by the client, (called stupid, a whore etc, so I just suck it up and move on. I probably would probably be berated with insults and that person would play games with me even moreso, than If I just let it go

[Jock123]

Pay HALF of his Fee. Dont burn Bridges. While You may think You'll never see Him again You never know...

 

 

It goes A LONG Way with me when a Client Cancels less than 24 hours and offers, Usually I dont ask for a cancelation fee but IF I Had missed out on other Oppurtunities I would. It can be a really big Inconveience.

[Dmitri]

Thanks for all your feedback. It turns out the guy did use Paypal......so I paid him in full for the massage session online......he did not have my credit card info since Paypal blocks it......so it was a safe and secure way to get him his fee....I also felt he conducted himself in a professional manner.....he did not threaten or pressure me to pay for the cancelled session.....he said he would leave it up to me......I felt bad for cancelling on such short notice, so I felt he deserved to be reimbursed.........it was my fault, anyway....not his.......thanks again for all your feedback......lesson learned here, I will only book in the future when I am 100% sure I can make it!

[GeorgeGG]

I don't share the view that emailing is not enough and that you had to call or text. He is a professional he is supposed to check his mail. It is not that hard to glance at his phone and see the red unread mails badge. If he did not, thats his fault. You notified him 6 hours before your appointment. Thats more than enough for cancellation.

[SelfIndulgent]

I once made an hour appt with an escort and when I got into town fell horribly ill and went to the hospital for dehydration. I gave the escort 36 hours cancellation notice for the one hour meeting and he still went ballistic on me. He demanded I send him a picture of a doctors note and where I was staying so that he could come and collect his whole fee since he had lost so much business because of me. This was with 36 hours of notice and I had texted him! Made me feel even worse than how I was feeling and turned me sour on hiring for almost a year. C'est la vie I suppose.

 

But back on topic - the OP did the right thing paying (I don't think he needed to pay the full fee though) and the provider definitely handled himself in a cool and collected and professional manner. Everyone won in this story - which is great!

[bobnyc]

Thanks for all your feedback. It turns out the guy did use Paypal......so I paid him in full for the massage session online......he did not have my credit card info since Paypal blocks it......so it was a safe and secure way to get him his fee....I also felt he conducted himself in a professional manner.....he did not threaten or pressure me to pay for the cancelled session.....he said he would leave it up to me......I felt bad for cancelling on such short notice, so I felt he deserved to be reimbursed.........it was my fault, anyway....not his.......thanks again for all your feedback......lesson learned here, I will only book in the future when I am 100% sure I can make it!

Really glad you manned up in this.

[jawjateck]

Thanks for all your feedback. It turns out the guy did use Paypal......so I paid him in full for the massage session online......he did not have my credit card info since Paypal blocks it......so it was a safe and secure way to get him his fee....I also felt he conducted himself in a professional manner.....he did not threaten or pressure me to pay for the cancelled session.....he said he would leave it up to me......I felt bad for cancelling on such short notice, so I felt he deserved to be reimbursed.........it was my fault, anyway....not his.......thanks again for all your feedback......lesson learned here, I will only book in the future when I am 100% sure I can make it!

 

It's always good for your conscience to do what you know is right. Here's hoping your future bookings produce many happy endings!