Escorts Say the Darndest Things

[marylander1940]

"You're a good cocksucker"

[lainent]

I thought my worst one was when an escort in Chicago said he is positive and wants to seed me. I told him, Bro I am neg and even though you are hot, that is going to far.

[Stormy]

"Oh I've never had a ginger in bed Is your crotch red too?"

[marylander1940]

"Oh I've never had a ginger in bed Is your crotch red too?"

 

Sometimes the carpet doesn't match the drapes, LOL

[+ Oaktown]

"Have coffee first? Well my $400 fee starts right away, not when you put your dick in me."

[+ freecahill1965]

Just saw this thread, what a funny fucking read on boring Saturday morning. THANK YOU All for making my day.

[30somethingsexybear]

"Have coffee first? Well my $400 fee starts right away, not when you put your dick in me."

who is this person. I like him.

[30somethingsexybear]

LOL the last 3 WERE more or less St pickups! The crotch washer was actually a quite famous pornstar in town w his GF from West Coast. But I won't mention names even thou he's retired and out of the biz. (James Jameson:rolleyes:)

lol, be happy he did ask to wash his crotch. I remember him and he STUNK! I could imagine what his crotch would smell like without a good scrub ! YIKES!

[+ VictorPowers]

This is now my favorite thread!

[KyleS]

The escort told me he will go to the gym before we meet. So I asked him is it ok for him not taking the shower before I come, cause I want the sweat and the smell.

He replied:

No problem, but we can meet earlier. I can't keep sweet for a long time.

 

Can't believe I almost jizzed over a typo there.

[Guy Fawkes]

I don't care if you stink to high heaven... Just means I have to scrub every single inch of that body from head to toe.

 

This is now my favorite thread!

Edited February 11, 2018 by Guy Fawkes

[Gymowner]

Wasn't an escort but a really hot breeder I was giving head to while he was sitting in a chair. Head back and enjoying. All of a sudden he opens his eyes, looks at me and says "hey...is it cheating on your girl if you get head from a gay dude"? I looked at him with my mouth full and said mmmphumph and kept going. He shook his head, closed his eyes and blew out a massive load! Hahahaha

[marylander1940]

Wasn't an escort but a really hot breeder I was giving head to while he was sitting in a chair. Head back and enjoying. All of a sudden he opens his eyes, looks at me and says "hey...is it cheating on your girl if you get head from a gay dude"? I looked at him with my mouth full and said mmmphumph and kept going. He shook his head, closed his eyes and blew out a massive load! Hahahaha

 

I did that when I was in the Navy...

[Guy Fawkes]

As it should be!

 

"Have coffee first? Well my $400 fee starts right away, not when you put your dick in me."

[+ sniper]

Wasn't an escort but a really hot breeder I was giving head to while he was sitting in a chair. Head back and enjoying. All of a sudden he opens his eyes, looks at me and says "hey...is it cheating on your girl if you get head from a gay dude"? I looked at him with my mouth full and said mmmphumph and kept going. He shook his head, closed his eyes and blew out a massive load! Hahahaha

So like, how did things get THAT FAR before it even occurred to him? How did you meet him? Teach me your secrets lol.

[+ José Soplanucas]

I looked at him with my mouth full and said mmmphumph and kept going.

 

Your eloquence in such a critical moment is commendable.

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxels9BoVU1qff8too1_r1_400.gif

[Gymowner]

gotta do what ya gotta do guys!

heehee

[crushme99]

I looked at him with my mouth full and said mmmphumph

 

Ahahahahaha hahaha hahahaha

[marylander1940]

"The AIDS epidemic is costing me money... al those guys who died in the 80's now would be old and hiring escorts"

 

That was his comment when I told him I got lucky to be in a monogamous relationship in the 80's... It was a first hire I had tonight, I won't see him again.

[Ajac]

"The AIDS epidemic is costing me money... al those guys who died in the 80's now would be old and hiring escorts"

 

That was his comment when I told him I got lucky to be in a monogamous relationship in the 80's... It was a first hire I had tonight, I won't see him again.

All I can say is Wow.

[marylander1940]

All I can say is Wow.

 

it was a mean statement by him!

 

I won't see him again, I only hire nice guys

[30somethingsexybear]

"The AIDS epidemic is costing me money... al those guys who died in the 80's now would be old and hiring escorts"

 

That was his comment when I told him I got lucky to be in a monogamous relationship in the 80's... It was a first hire I had tonight, I won't see him again.

I think that line falls under what I would call "Just because you are correct, does not mean you should say it" category

[Cliff]

This from an escort who was cancelling on me just a few hours before our scheduled meeting:

“I can’t meet with you. I have to work.”

[Cliff]

Exactly!

 

Besides being nice is as free as being rude, but rudeness might cost money.

 

I must admit I wanted to bump this wonderful thread started by @Oaktown !

 

 

 

Maybe he escorts part time. He could have been nice and offer to reschedule...

He told me he was going to retire from escorting at the end of that month, so basically he didn’t give a shit about his escort reputation anymore; he didn’t care that he was cancelling at the last minute. What a dick.

Edited April 2, 2019 by Cliff

[Bearman]

"Cum is extra $$$"

 

YES! This one I've encountered very often in among "Taxi Boys" in Argentina and Brazil. They claim "if they cum they can't keep working" which is a lie. I've paid more to have them cum, and of course I see them go right back to work looking for the next client.