Escorts Say the Darndest Things

[Maximus69]

"I just can't pay first time" but "If we click and become regulars then I would love too" :eek::confused:

[+ Kufrol]

"I just can't pay first time" but "If we click and become regulars then I would love too" :eek::confused:

Was that a client's statement to you? Some nerve!

[Maximus69]

Was that a client's statement to you? Some nerve!

 

Yeah he said he never paid before so he was having second thoughts... then why are you on rentmen answering my ad

 

i still was polite and said thank you but i cannot and wished him a merry xmas and rest of 2016

[evensteven]

My new favorite escort asked me the other day, somewhat out of the blue, “have you ever tried edible underwear?" Since I didn’t even know there was such a thing, I replied, “No, I can’t say that I have.” He then advised firmly, “Well don’t do it, it’s a complete mess!”

 

Make a note of it people.

[Zman]

My new favorite escort asked me the other day, somewhat out of the blue, “have you ever tried edible underwear?" Since I didn’t even know there was such a thing, I replied, “No, I can’t say that I have.” He then advised firmly, “Well don’t do it, it’s a complete mess!”

 

Make a note of it people.

Excellent advice.

 

One of those ideas like using whipped cream or chocolate sauce that sound good at first.....

[Zman]

I asked for a picture and instead of taking a selfie he sent me a picture he'd taken of his drivers license photo. Not the rest of the license just the photo.

[Kevin Slater]

Me: "I'm not great with couples."

Client: "He'll just sit and watch."

 

Like that's an improvement.

 

Kevin Slater

[+ Oaktown]

"Now that I have silver tips in my hair, will you still hire me?"

[Racketjock]

As we are in the heat and building climax of things: "I'm so excited for you to come. Do you want to come on me for an extra $50 or me to come too for an extra $100?"

 

Kind of kills the mood, though I was already passed the point of no return.

[+ Oaktown]

"I'm so excited for you to come. Do you want to come on me for an extra $50 or me to come too for an extra $100?"

 

Selling the upgrade mid-flight. Terrible!

[+ Keith30309]

After texting me that he was on the way:

 

Him: On the way. Do I need to bring anything?

Me: just lube and stuff

Him: I don't have condoms. Do you?

Me: No

Him: Damn. Let me see what I can do.

Me: Ok

Him: What's your opinion on BB?

Me: Not a fan. I always play safe.

Him: OK. I can stop

Me: Thanks

 

This was in early August and, at the time his RM profile said "Safe only". It now says "Anything goes".

I've since seen some BB porn that was recorded before our meeting.

[+ VeryHappyCustomer]

"For $50 you can take off the condom."

[+ azdr0710]

"I'm making some coffee. Want a cup?"

[rvwnsd]

"I'm making some coffee. Want a cup?"

Did he offer to add cream for fifty bucks?

[feldersteve]

I arrived on time at the escort's apartment. After about 30 minutes of wine, conversation, and some serious carnal interaction, the doorbell rang. He seemed very surprised, and we agreed he should at least go take a peek. Then I hear the door open and muffled conversation.

Escort: You're way too early, so watch tv 'til I'm done.

He returns to the bedroom. Me: WTF?

Him: My next client is early. He's really hot - you want to make it a 3-way? I won't charge you any more!

Me: Thanks, I'll pass. Here's half.

And as I was leaving, he didn't protest the reduced amount. He just greeted the waiting client and told me to come back some time. Hell, I didn't get to come the first time.

[+ Oaktown]

Masseur: "You will have to take care of yourself at the end"

[+ BigRic]

Some gems here (including a few from the client side).

 

After I sucked his dick and ate his ass, I try to kiss him. But "sorry, I don't kiss after oral sex".

 

That's surprising to me - a shower beforehand usually makes things... palatable (for kissing, before and after)

 

Yes, I always insist on a shower right before I do any rimming. It's not only hygenic but I usually get to do the soaping up (yay!).

 

So, often the escort is perfectly happy to kiss afterwards. http://www.ourgtn.org/public/style_emoticons/default/asskiss.gif

 

But I respect them if they aren't into it.

 

Yeah, it seems to me that an escort who refuses to make out after getting eaten out is tacitly expressing a lack of confidence in his pre-session nether region hygiene. Rather than a blanket 'I don't kiss after gettin' rimmed,' I'd hope escorts who are not comfortable with that prospect would find the politesse to bring up in advance whether a client they are otherwise cool mackin' with post-buttmunch would mind freshening up their lips/mouth/tongue post-rim and pre-muggin'.

 

A wee bit awkward to broach with a first-time client perhaps, but IMO preferable to the buzz kill of either asking a client to do so after he's been rimming me or saying a flat no.

 

I think Austin Powers' thoughts on the subject apply all around: "I know before I'm on the job I like to give my undercarriage a little, "How's your father?""

Edited January 5, 2017 by BigRic

[+ OliverSaks]

When an escorts lists himself as 19 cm one place in the ad and 20 cm in another part...

 

Hmmmmm....

[mike carey]

When an escorts lists himself as 19 cm one place in the ad and 20 cm in another part...

Sounds like one is what he measured and the other is what the website calculated from the length in inches that he had to post.

[marylander1940]

I arrived on time at the escort's apartment. After about 30 minutes of wine, conversation, and some serious carnal interaction, the doorbell rang. He seemed very surprised, and we agreed he should at least go take a peek. Then I hear the door open and muffled conversation.

Escort: You're way too early, so watch tv 'til I'm done.

He returns to the bedroom. Me: WTF?

Him: My next client is early. He's really hot - you want to make it a 3-way? I won't charge you any more!

Me: Thanks, I'll pass. Here's half.

And as I was leaving, he didn't protest the reduced amount. He just greeted the waiting client and told me to come back some time. Hell, I didn't get to come the first time.

 

Was the client hot?

[Maximus69]

Was the client hot?

 

wow see at least be smart about if your going to do back to back clients. For me I usually like to do 1 client a day, and if more than one person who wants to see me in a day, I try to space them hours apart. So that I'm refueled and can give you my 100 percent.

 

Its weird why would another client show up after only half an hour of you being with them? Guess he was booking you both at the same time and he wasn't sure about the other guy so he told you to come.

[Guy Fawkes]

When he's done look at him and say: "Hummm.... Maybe 50 more."

 

http://media.gettyimages.com/videos/young-man-athlete-doing-push-ups-street-fitness-gym-exercises-and-video-id546649378?s=640x640

He may mean it. Once a guy asked me whether his pecs were the best I'd ever seen... When I smiled and said nothing, he jumped out of bed and did 50 push ups.

[Guy Fawkes]

Klingon/Vulcan with a splash of Romulan/Antarian.

 

Exchange between myself (M) and a young man (YM)...

 

YM: I'm sorry. I have to ask. But, what are you?

M: Beg your pardon...

YM: What are you? Obviously you are not like me...

M:I am classified as a mammal within the order of primates. More specifically, my species is Homo sapiens. In short I am a human; much like you.

YM: umm... I meant what is your race...

[+ OliverSaks]

Sounds like one is what he measured and the other is what the website calculated from the length in inches that he had to post.

That would be a plausible explanation, but actually both measurements were his own typed text!

[Tarty]

Did he offer to add cream for fifty bucks?

haha