Escorts Say the Darndest Things

[+ Oaktown]

As the 'scort used a towel to wipe his cum off my face he remarked, "You're a messy eater"

[marylander1940]

"Cum is extra $$$"

 

It should be extra!

[DMICS]

"I hope you're not black"

 

Had this once.

[instudiocity]

As the 'scort used a towel to wipe his cum off my face he remarked, "You're a messy eater"

That's hilarious! 1 vote for the shooter!

[BaronArtz]

Me: Well, if you ever give this up I'd really appreciate it if you could let me know so you don't just up and leave. I like closure.

 

Him: This isn't about me 'leaving.' It's about you growing and learning and finding someone for real and leaving me.

 

I like that actually. There is truth in that ...

[bigvalboy]

As the 'scort used a towel to wipe his cum off my face he remarked, "You're a messy eater"

[MscleLovr]

On first meeting Luke (a handsome blond muscleboy and new escort) in San Francisco some years ago when he had refused to discuss details over the phone...

 

Escort: No I don't kiss at all. I reserve that for my boyfriend.

Me (disappointedly): Oh. Well, I do like to get rimmed. And I enjoy being sucked off and it's hot when you swallow.

Escort (cheerily): Sure, I can do all that for you!

[+ Oaktown]

"I'm the finest, most honest and beautiful humans beings you'll ever know - inside and out"

Edited December 18, 2016 by Oaktown

[marylander1940]

"You don't look 76"

Edited December 18, 2016 by marylander1940

[marylander1940]

On first meeting Luke (a handsome blond muscleboy and new escort) in San Francisco some years ago when he had refused to discuss details over the phone...

 

Escort: No I don't kiss at all. I reserve that for my boyfriend.

Me (disappointedly): Oh. Well, I do like to get rimmed. And I enjoy being sucked off and it's hot when you swallow.

Escort (cheerily): Sure, I can do all that for you!

 

Damn... I would rim and swallow my boyfriend and kiss a hook up...

[marylander1940]

"Sorry, it's hard for me to stop thinking about yesterday. I'm still on cloud nine. I had an awesome time with _____________________." (an internationally famous singing superstar)

 

escort could tell a story... but they should never gossip, specially here in DC where everybody is allegedly "kind of a big deal".

[marylander1940]

"You're from Columbia, MD but you're not a redneck"

Edited December 18, 2016 by marylander1940

[marylander1940]

"I'm not superman, after coming I can't fuck you or get fucked by you, I'm done..."

 

and he was absolutely right about it, I can't fuck/get fucked after coming, I take my time I last longer than other guys but after I shoot, I'm done.

[rvwnsd]

Escort to me: "Dude, you could charge for that blow job"

Me to escort: "Leave the money in the basket by the door."

[jawjateck]

"It's ok to admit it....am I not the hottest man you've ever hired?"

[+ José Soplanucas]

After I sucked his dick and ate his ass, I try to kiss him. But "sorry, I don't kiss after oral sex".

[TruHart1]

After I sucked his dick and ate his ass, I try to kiss him. But "sorry, I don't kiss after oral sex".

...and that reminds me of an escort with whom I was kissing deeply, after I asked him whether he'd be okay with me eating out his muscular ass, "You're welcome to do that if you want, but I can't kiss anymore after your tongue's been in my ass!"

 

Needless to say, I did not rim him. His kissing was too hot and I did not want to stop it!!!

 

TruHart1

[Zman]

...and that reminds me of an escort with whom I was kissing deeply, after I asked him whether he'd be okay with me eating out his muscular ass, "You're welcome to do that if you want, but I can't kiss anymore after your tongue's been in my ass!"

 

Needless to say, I did not rim him. His kissing was too hot and I did not want to stop it!!!

 

TruHart1

I think you made the right choice! But I hope you got a chance at his ass on another meeting.

 

I usually assume kissing is done once I've started rimming. But I've been pleasantly surprised before.

[bigvalboy]

"Sorry, but you're wasting your time, my nipples are not sensitive at all." (@whipped guy will appreciate that one)

Edited December 18, 2016 by bigvalboy

[+ Truereview]

Escort : wow, you really care!

Me:

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view2/3234422/swallowing-weed-o.gif

[marylander1940]

"Are you a nipple or a balls guy?"

[whipped guy]

After an escort gave my cock and balls the fire and ice treatment with wax and ice cubes (and NO it was NOT Steven Draker ) I rubbed my facial hair on his cock. His response was, "Oh! You're tickling me! Stop! Stop! I can't stand it!"

[+ OliverSaks]

I think you made the right choice! But I hope you got a chance at his ass on another meeting.

 

I usually assume kissing is done once I've started rimming. But I've been pleasantly surprised before.

 

That's surprising to me - a shower beforehand usually makes things... palatable (for kissing, before and after)

[bigvalboy]

"Are you a nipple or a balls guy?"

Nipple nipple nipple nipple Nipple nipple nipple nipple Nipple nipple nipple nipple Nipple nipple nipple nipple

Nipple nipple nipple nipple Nipple nipple nipple nipple Nipple nipple nipple nipple Nipple nipple nipple nipple

Nipple nipple nipple nipple Nipple nipple nipple nipple Nipple nipple nipple nipple Nipple nipple nipple nipple

Nipple nipple nipple nipple Nipple nipple nipple nipple Nipple nipple nipple nipple Nipple nipple nipple nipple

Nipple nipple nipple nipple Nipple nipple nipple nipple Nipple nipple nipple nipple Nipple nipple nipple nipple

Nipple nipple nipple nipple Nipple nipple nipple nipple Nipple nipple nipple nipple Nipple nipple nipple nipple

Nipple nipple nipple nipple Nipple nipple nipple nipple Nipple nipple nipple nipple Nipple nipple nipple nipple

Nipple nipple nipple nipple Nipple nipple nipple nipple Nipple nipple nipple nipple Nipple nipple nipple nipple...

 

Well you get the idea...

[beachboy]

That's surprising to me - a shower beforehand usually makes things... palatable (for kissing, before and after)

Well said Oliver. I wanna kiss before, during & after everything!