Escorts Say the Darndest Things

[jimboivyo]

"We don't need condoms, I take Truvada!" My favorite escort and I then started humping like bunnies, bareback.

 

smart!

[Sandlapp]

There's always the classic "I'm totally cool with condoms." Cut to the big moment-"I can't stay hard in condoms, let's bareback."

[oldhat]

Exchange between myself (M) and a young man (YM)...

 

YM: I'm sorry. I have to ask. But, what are you?

M: Beg your pardon...

YM: What are you? Obviously you are not like me...

M:I am classified as a mammal within the order of primates. More specifically, my species is Homo sapiens. In short I am a human; much like you.

YM: umm... I meant what is your race...

[+ Oaktown]

" I can talk intelligently. Let's discuss some Russian novelists, Marcel Proust, the musical glasses, the recent Academy exposition, or the Place Of Woman In The Home."

[bigvalboy]

Exchange between myself (M) and a young man (YM)...

 

YM: I'm sorry. I have to ask. But, what are you?

M: Beg your pardon...

YM: What are you? Obviously you are not like me...

M:I am classified as a mammal within the order of primates. More specifically, my species is Homo sapiens. In short I am a human; much like you.

YM: umm... I meant what is your race...

 

lol..."And here we go"

[+ Oaktown]

Me: Let's meet at the Starbucks at 2nd and Main

 

Escort: I work there during the mornings

[+ Oaktown]

"If you think we are going to be friends, you are naive"

[bigvalboy]

Me: (smiling) Why the extra fee tacked on? It seems like you're hustling me.

Him: (laughing) Well I'm a hustler and that's why they call it hustling, it's what I do.

Me: (straight faced)

http://cdn2.crushable.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Frank-Underwood-This-is-the-part-where-you-leave-GIF-from-House-Of-Cards.gif

Edited December 12, 2016 by bigvalboy

[Meo]

"I only do penetration on Overnights"

A variation of this is when they only bottom for multi-hour appointments, but I always found this to be welcome, useful info and was never annoyed by it.

[Racketjock]

"Looking forward to seeing you at 8pm for an outcall. At 7:45 pm, I'm really excited to see you and have a great time. Can we do 11 pm?"

[MikeBiDude]

"Looking forward to seeing you at 8pm for an outcall. At 7:45 pm, I'm really excited to see you and have a great time. Can we do 11 pm?"

That drives me nuts....

[Maximus69]

On Topic

 

Here's one of my Favorite "Clients say the Darndest things"

 

 

From Guy's you havent even met yet ... " Hey man, I plan on Hiring You often and am looking for a Regular. Anyway You can Reduce Your Rate since I'll be seeing You so much?"

 

LOL yasssss on this one. I always say afterwards lets see how our first meeting goes and if all goes well then we can discuss my rates again for our next meeting

Edited December 12, 2016 by QuietStorm

[Flynn]

"That escort I used to team with, don't believe his posted pictures! He looks like a Serbian internment camp survivor in real life."

[BaronArtz]

Escort: 'You look good for your age'

[gallahadesquire]

After talking for awhile:

Wow. I never would have guessed you're gay.

[TruHart1]

"That escort I used to team with, don't believe his posted pictures! He looks like a Serbian internment camp survivor in real life."

That reminds me. One escort told me he used to work with his partner until they parted ways, "He's a great escort, but a really terrible husband!" :eek:

 

TruHart1

[+ azdr0710]

"I need your full name so I can call your hotel and verify your room. They will ask for the name."

 

"Let's just go with the flow."

 

"(Another competing escort) is just a stinky, ugly, fat construction worker."

 

"You seem like you're married."

 

"I had a great time. I WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOU AGAIN SOON."

[+ sniper]

An escort mentioned he had dinner with his wife before he came to my hotel room, then said, “She’s waiting downstairs for me.”

That was either his precaution in case you were a serial killer or his seeing if you wanted to pay some more $$ for a 3way.

[+ sniper]

After talking for awhile:

Wow. I never would have guessed you're gay.

My first experience was with Scott/TJ, who himself was I think VERY new at the time, and he asked "Do you like girls? You seem like you could get girls."

Um...no, but thanks, I guess?

[+ Oaktown]

"I'll call ya."

[jawjateck]

"I'll pay you back. I promise."

[+ azdr0710]

"Oh, this is too much. Here's $75 back."

We hadn't discussed terms at all, before or during, and I'd offered what I thought was a fair amount.

[+ Oaktown]

"I'm short of funds, just send me the airfare. Promise I'll be there."

[jawjateck]

"Could I use your place to host in-calls?"

[jawjateck]

"You surprised me. I didn't expect you to be much fun."