Escorts Say the Darndest Things

[Ryan Wolff]

I think clients say the darnedest things too:

 

When it's late - "It's 2am, how soon can you get here?"

When it is literally too late - "Does it hurt when I bite it like this?"

How to kill a boner - "I could be your dad!"

 

OMG yes: the "It's 2am, how soon can you get here?" along with "Does it hurt when I bite it like this?"

 

Um, at 2am, I'm not going to be there in a hour... And yes, it does hurt when you bite my pierced nipples. As for "I could be your dad!"... Come here daddy and your boy will show you what he's got ?.

[marylander1940]

"HIV in the 80's killed a lot of folks that would have been my clients now..."

 

I won't repeat with him again....

[Luv2play]

1. I commented on his ad in Rentmen and he said "Yeah, that's my draw, I don't actually do the stuff I advertise" WTF
   
2. I top my hire and it starts smelling like shit. I ask after the smell starts getting stronger "Do you need to go to the bathroom?" He says "I'm clean! I cleaned myself before you got here!" He then proceeds to shit all over me and the bed.
   

Well, shit happens.

[Gymowner]

Well, shit happens.

is that what that hole is there for? i never knew that!

[Wolfer]

Escort lists himself as "vers/bottom"

 

When I enquire about a meeting he says:

"Sorry, I prefer to top"

[+ harey]

1. I commented on his ad in Rentmen and he said "Yeah, that's my draw, I don't actually do the stuff I advertise" WTF
   
2. I top my hire and it starts smelling like shit. I ask after the smell starts getting stronger "Do you need to go to the bathroom?" He says "I'm clean! I cleaned myself before you got here!" He then proceeds to shit all over me and the bed.
   

OMG. I’m so sorry.

[+ harey]

“Do you mind if I bring my 50 lbs dog to your hotel room? She’s a really sweet pit bull and usually stays off the bed.”

[+ harey]

“I charge $250 for a massage...do you have lotion?”

 

:rolleyes:

[guru68]

"Diner's Club?"

 

Ok, I made that up.

[orville]

Escort: 'You look good for your age'

Being over 50, I take this one as a compliment.

[orville]

"I need your full name so I can call your hotel and verify your room. They will ask for the name."

"I had a great time. I WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOU AGAIN SOON."

I never give my full name, but it's true front desks ask the caller the guest's name in order to transfer the call. Tricky situation.

I'm confused. I know it's politeness (perhaps hypocrisy?) but if I had a good time, I would be really looking to see him again, too.

Edited September 3, 2020 by orville

[orville]

That is a real thing. I gave a friend my old iPhone after the antenna died on it. He can use it for texting and internet, but it won't place or receive calls.

I don't know if it's a Millennial thing or business practice but some providers won't take phone calls. For me it's a way to "feel" him through his voice.

[orville]

It should be extra!

Not if you are promised cum beforehand at no extra charge, but I understand.

[orville]

...and that reminds me of an escort with whom I was kissing deeply, after I asked him whether he'd be okay with me eating out his muscular ass, "You're welcome to do that if you want, but I can't kiss anymore after your tongue's been in my ass!"

Needless to say, I did not rim him. His kissing was too hot and I did not want to stop it!!!

TruHart1

Mouthwash?

[orville]

"Are you a nipple or a balls guy?"

Actually, I think that's a valid service-oriented question. I'm a nipples guy.

[marylander1940]

I don't know if it's a Millennial thing or business practice but some providers won't take phone calls. For me it's a way to "feel" him through his voice.

 

They would rather text for 30 minutes instead of talking for two minutes. I understand that addresses must be sent by text. Marriott? Take a look at the address and tell me exactly where it says.

 

The problem is when clients start behaving like teenagers texting providers

[orville]

not for me, just lick them, no biting!

Ditto! Actually ... a little bit of biting is more than welcome ?

[orville]

I cancelled a session with 4 hours notice, then received this text:

 

"What? Do you know I turned down 2 other appointments during that time slot to see YOU? My time is important."

This one is true. Seeing other clients during previous hours means they won't give you their best.

On occasion, I make sure he doesn't see anyone else even 1 or two days before so he builds up a nice big load for me.

Edited September 4, 2020 by orville

[orville]

Excellent advice.

 

One of those ideas like using whipped cream or chocolate sauce that sound good at first.....

Well, I once followed his advice eating ice cream on his rock hard c*ck. Needless to say, I emptied the container before the night was over.

Edited September 6, 2020 by orville

[orville]

Escort: You're way too early, so watch tv 'til I'm done.

LMAO. I wonder if it was a genuine attempt to service 2 clients together, or for you to leave and paying full rate while giving you no service.

[Geriatric Otter]

In 19+ years of hiring, I've had mostly great experiences, but this one took the cake. I was in DC area (Alexandria) and saw a guy advertising that I had seen once in FL (once, a FREQUENT contributor to this site). Texted for him to come for 2 hrs at 7pm...he agreed. He was coming by Metro and my hotel was the Westin, about 5 minute walk from King Street Metro stop. At 8, no show. Left him a message. 8:30, phone call..."I'm wandering in the pouring rain and can't find the hotel". Looked out the window and no rain! At 9 I assumed he wasn't coming, so I ordered room service. at 9:30, just as I opened the door for my meal, I heard shouting down the hallway "WTF...why didn't you wait for me you ugly old F****?

 

The poor waiter was scared and dumped off my burger. My room phone rang and it was said escort "*&%%%$$$ You'll never hire in DC again!!!!"

Well, I have...and it wasn't him

[Luv2play]

I never give my full name, but it's true front desks ask the caller the guest's name in order to transfer the call. Tricky situation.

I'm confused. I know it's politeness (perhaps hypocrisy?) but if I had a good time, I would be really looking to see him again, too.

I know my trusted regulars’ names and they know mine. With newbies, if I am in a hotel, I just give them my room number and tell them to ask the front desk to call up and I will go down to the lobby. If I have the time, I will sit in the lobby at the appointed hour and greet them since I have their face pic. I don’t hire without a face pic usually although sometimes the pic is rather obscure and the odd time I have reAlice’s on the first meeting why that was the case!

[Luv2play]

Basically if you have 4 client a day you will cum with all of them ?

I personally I don’t wanna be the last one you will see !! no much milk will be left ?

Could be the escort will save the cum for the last appointment of the day. One can always hope.

[likembbbig]

"I'm glad you didn't kick me out."

After many good times.

 

The first time he asked to be paid "upon arrival." (u̶p̶f̶r̶o̶n̶t̶)

 

When I paid him, upon departure, (or, to leave, as some prefer), I told him I almost kicked him out. I was annoyed with the question, it messes with the mood.

 

He was a sweetheart. I didn't know that at the start. What a neat thing to say. I'm sure I said something about feeling the same but he already knew that. I know somebody out there is lucky. I was for a time.

 

It's nice to remember those who make the world a better place.

[Wolfer]

In 19+ years of hiring, I've had mostly great experiences, but this one took the cake. I was in DC area (Alexandria) and saw a guy advertising that I had seen once in FL (once, a FREQUENT contributor to this site). Texted for him to come for 2 hrs at 7pm...he agreed. He was coming by Metro and my hotel was the Westin, about 5 minute walk from King Street Metro stop. At 8, no show. Left him a message. 8:30, phone call..."I'm wandering in the pouring rain and can't find the hotel". Looked out the window and no rain! At 9 I assumed he wasn't coming, so I ordered room service. at 9:30, just as I opened the door for my meal, I heard shouting down the hallway "WTF...why didn't you wait for me you ugly old F****?

 

The poor waiter was scared and dumped off my burger. My room phone rang and it was said escort "*&%%%$$$ You'll never hire in DC again!!!!"

Well, I have...and it wasn't him

Oh my what a shitshow. Luckily he didn't make much of a scene at the hotel and did it mostly over the phone.

 

I had scheduled an overnight and as I'm driving on my way over the escort texts me asking if it'd be alright if we went straight to sleep upon my arrival (at 8pm!) because he was tired from staying up all night the night before and wanted some rest.

(the overnight had been booked weeks in advance, so it's not like he didn't know)