Is asking for small appearance changes okay with you?

[Rudynate]

Not meaning to hijack, and not specifically directed to you.. but let me pose a question this way. This is just hypothetical. Say I am attracted only to short facial hair or no facial hair. All the escort photos of said escort were of someone with a short beard or no facial hair. I have never even seen the escort sport a beard before, and I never would have hired an escort with a beard. It's appointment day and I am all excited. Here is the knock at the door and there stands my escort sporting a beard that would make Rip Van Winkle proud. Now what?? Same situation, but substitute chest hair. Every picture on his ad he ever posted he looks like Flipper and he shows up looking like the Wolf-Man. Or case 3 every picture he had ever advertised with shows normal man grooming practices, but when he shows up he has shaved every single inch of body hair off his body including a Brazilian that makes him look like a plucked chicken and you are just not attracted to any of these surprises. It is possible that any one of them could even cause you to lose interest (or maybe all 3 or maybe you would be ok with any of the changes-- we are all different).

 

How would you handle this? Ask him to change (if he can) or ask him to leave or do nothing?

 

If his appearance is drastically different from his profile pics and he hasn't given notice of it, I think you wouldn't be unreasonable in backing out. Gio Volta changes his appearance often. Sometimes his chest is shaved, sometimes its hairy. Sometimes his hair is short and sometimes long. In his profile, he always reports what he looks like at the current time. I haven't hired him yet, but I sure want to.

[gallahadesquire]

Clothes are one thing, parts of you are another. There was an old Miss Manners letter from a bride wondering if she could tell the groom's brother, in the wedding party, that he had to get rid of the purple mohawk and multiple face piercings. Miss Manners told him she could dictate a tuxedo, but that was it.

 

I see no reference to the subject in Emily Post's 1945 Etiquette.

[Rudynate]

I see no reference to the subject in Emily Post's 1945 Etiquette.

 

Is that different from Emily Post's Bluebook of Etiquette?

[gallahadesquire]

Is that different from Emily Post's Bluebook of Etiquette?

 

Nope. Same one. I read the title page.

[MikeyGMin]

How would you handle this? Ask him to change (if he can) or ask him to leave or do nothing?

 

The shaved body hair would be a disappointment if I was expecting someone a little furry, but none of these things are deal-breakers for me. Certainly not enough to send him packing. (Got something set up with someone in the near future who is smooth as a baby's butt.) They rank about as high as hair color. I prefer dark haired men but I have nothing against blonds!

 

Now, showing up 30 pounds heavier than all his gym toned pictures show him is another matter. My instinct would be to be polite, but I can get a guy with a dad body all on my own. Luckily I've never had that happen.

[+ glennnn]

Gees, I really wish I hadn't asked this rather lame question. I was sitting in an airport kinda bored and.....................

I agree that it was a disrespectful idea, and, as I said above, should I ever be lucky enough to be naked with Bravo, the last thing I will be stroking is his beard.

[mike carey]

if she could tell the groom's brother, in the wedding party, that he had to get rid of the purple mohawk and multiple face piercings.

She should have chosen a colour of flowers and trim to match the mohawk colour.

[Rudynate]

She should have chosen a colour of flowers and trim to match the mohawk colour.

 

 

White flowers are the most common at a wedding. And, of course, white goes with nearly anything.

[jjkrkwood]

White flowers are the most common at a wedding. And, of course, white goes with nearly anything.

 

 

White was chosen to represent VIRGINITY. I dont think that's relevant these days..... Go for Black orchids.

[+ saminseattle]

Gees, I really wish I hadn't asked this rather lame question.

 

I don’t think you should feel bad at all. I have had this same question, as apparently has @slightly. I was actually going to post a very similar question myself about a gentleman who I found very attractive except for the fact that he was beginning to grow a mustache, which I really did not care for. Personally, I prefer a completely clean-shaven look, but a bit of scruff is alright and works well on some guys, so long as it is not limited to the upper lip!

 

Anyway, I recall @Mikegaite mentioning that he had accommodated some clients’ preferences along these lines in this thread. http://www.companyofmen.org/threads/beards-facial-not-social.111906/. And in the current thread, [uSER=12155]@Dominiking[/uSER] expressed some openness to the idea, and @Eric Hassan said it was not unreasonable to ask. So, assuming you don’t broach the issue in an entitled manner, my two cents is that it’s not an inherently rude question to raise. But of course, I would be interested in hearing from more escorts on the subject for my own edification as well as the community’s.

[+ glennnn]

@saminseattle

 

Second, or is it the third time, you've kind of backed me up. You are The Dude, dude. Thanks. I'd love to see more of you here on the Forum, and what about PS in April? Alaska airlines has some decent priced non stops from SeaTac and even cheaper possibilities with some one stops. Come on down for the weekend and get dry and naked.

[jjkrkwood]

Once again, @saminseattle and @glennn , I think it really all boils down to 2 things, the escort and the client. They need to communicate, and establish if personal requests in appearance are an option. Its a fairly simple yes or No.... As with many things presented here which are escort related, they get "overthought". My M.O. has laways been that if you have a question, ASK IT. Then you no longer have the question or the stress of figuring out what the answer might be.... As long as communication is handled in a non-confrontational way, no harm done.... Happy Hunting everyone.

[Zapped]

Often when we are hiring an escort it is to fulfill a particular fantasy. Restating what some others have said, it makes a lot of sense to tell the escort that you are really turned on by the way he looks in a particular photo, name the specific detail, and ask if that's his current look.

 

If you are turned on by neatly trimmed beards and turned off by long ones, you can say so. It's similar to a fetish. It's a matter of saying what you want, and he he can let you know if that's what he has to offer.

 

I've called restaurants to see what the special is, or if they have a particular dessert I like, and then decided whether or not to go depending on the answer. This seems similar.

 

If the guy knows you are turned on by neatly trimmed beards and that's not his current look, he can tell you and if he wants to to change it he can offer to do so. That will depend on a variety of factors. I'd imagine if he's not settled into a particular look the way Eric is, and if the amount of $ involved is considerable, he might consider it. Hell, for enough money I'd shave my entire beard off, even if my husband would be pissed. I'm long past the point that anyone is lkely to offer, though!

 

Very interesting question and discussion.

[BigK]

Put me in the fresh shaved face category. I have no problem asking someone with scruff if they would mind shaving for our meeting. After all, it does grow back. I would not ask that of someone with a obviously trimmed beard.

[+ tylerthebadwolf]

Would you be offended if asked to make a non permanent adjustment to your appearance by a client for a two hour session?

 

I'm always amenable to modifications if it's going to make a client's experience more enjoyable. I think everyone has their lines and their preferences – I'll shave my beard NBD, but probably won't cut my hair, no matter who's asking.

 

I think if you're going to ask politely and maybe offer an explanation, then you're totally within the bounds of the interaction to do so. Be prepared to hear "no," and decide beforehand if it's a dealbreaker for you.

 

 

-t