Thoughts on younger clients

[inthepit3]

I relate to your point about being hyper-focused on other’s opinions of you. Even if you actively remind yourself that their perspective matters less than your inner understanding, it will nag at you and occupy your mind. I didn’t tell any of my real-life friends that I intended to hire or that I did hire an escort. It’s difficult to dispel anti-sex work attitudes, and even if they view sex work positively, they might still form judgments on a personal friend seeking an escort. So it’s best to limit who you confide in this topic with: online friends and this forum is the extent to which I’m comfortable.

 

As for the escort’s impression of you, the main determining factor is finding a guy tailored to the experience you want. Make sure he has “boyfriend experience” listed in his ad and a sweet, approachable demeanor in how he describes himself. Feel free explain to him the fantasy you desire in your pre-meet up interactions (your slow dance one seems like it would be such a wonderful memory!) This isn’t out of the norm at all, the escort will be happy to get a clear picture of what you’re looking for. I genuinely think most professional escorts aren’t concerned about being with a younger client, but you can mention age and other stats if that will relieve your mind. I prefer not to reveal before meeting up because I enjoy spontaneity and figuring out how to best please each other in the moment.

[Bearofdistinction]

Hi There,

 

I'm new to this thread, although I've been reading all of your wonderful posts for a long time! Happy to be joining the community .

 

I wanted to hear from escorts in regards to younger clients. I've only hired escorts a couple of times, and I've gotten some weird reactions from them because of my age (I'm 32). The truth is, I just worked over a year to lose a significant amount of weight (80 pounds). Prior to losing the weight, I felt insecure and that coupled with my own extreme shyness I have very little experience with men. Now that I am feeling a bit more confident in myself, I decided that I wanted to hired a couple of escorts over the next year so that I can gain more experience in a space that feels more safe. However, the few experiences I've had have left me feeling weird about hiring again - one escort didn't believe me when I said I wasn't experienced because apparently some clients say this as a fantasy, and also said he feels uncomfortable being hired by someone who is relatively young (although I don't think 32 is THAT young), and the other said I really should be saving my money because I don't need to be hiring escorts. It makes me feel nervous that I will be judged if I try it again

 

Being that it would be not very smart and unfair for me to use these two experiences as a basis for all escorts, I thought I would use this forum to ask -- is it weird for escorts to be hired by someone who is close to their age? Does this matter to you, typically? I realize that, in the future, I can be very upfront about it as it will likely be an individual preference, but as I respect some of the responses I've seen on here, I thought I would ask to see what you had to say.

 

Ive been hiring since my 20s because I wanted to learn about BDSM play and hired older guys.

Now that I am older, I hire guys closer to my age as well as hot furry boys in their 20s and 30s.

[racovnik]

(your slow dance one seems like it would be such a wonderful memory!)

I know right? I've danced with guys in the clubs before but never slowed danced. It makes me wonder how it feels... I think i set myself up to disappointment though cause I've been imagining it for weeks now and I might have overhyped it in my head.

[LADoug1]

I think... And I've been thinking since yesterday. Lol. It's less about the age but more of my overall self-image issues and my tendency to hyper focus on what people thinks (which also include what the escort will think about me). Of course at the end of the day, what others think or say doesnt matter but its such a challenge to overcome that habit when its something I struggled growing up and still at times have to deal with.

 

My friend means well and she can be very naive at times. Her view of sex is somewhat overly romanticized. To her a good fuck comes hand in hand with a romantic relationship which i dont want right now. I just want the boyfriend experience (just recently learned what it means) without the actual boyfriend.

 

This is so new to me. I only found out about this recently when I read an article about the RNC convention and rentmen. I've always thought that hiring escorts are somewhat of a cloack-and-dagger business. I didnt expect it to be this accessible. Which shouldnt really surprise me considering how technology and culture have advanced.

 

Yes I will be hiring. I'm just having a hard time choosing... Also, I feel awkward about asking what the escort can and can't do. In grindr Im used to asking what we both want to do but here I have to ask them what they can do for me. I don't think I'm making sense... Sigh. Will it be really silly if I ask an escort to slow dance with me? I gave a guy head behind 7/11 but never slow danced with one. Lol.

 

Shit this end up being too long. Btw, this forum is awesome! I even like drama here and there.

As to asking what an escort can do for you, when choosing an escort I try to match up with what we both want to do. For myself it's more about what we both like rather than just what I want.

[BasketBaller]

I know right? I've danced with guys in the clubs before but never slowed danced. It makes me wonder how it feels... I think i set myself up to disappointment though cause I've been imagining it for weeks now and I might have overhyped it in my head.

 

The first time I hired was my first time even hugging another man. I wanted to "try" things, half-hoping I wouldn't like them and could say I'd been curious but got it out my system.

 

But instead I liked them. A lot. In ways I hadn't imagined. So, try. Ask the escort you choose to slow dance!

[+ Funguy]

I know right? I've danced with guys in the clubs before but never slowed danced. It makes me wonder how it feels... I think i set myself up to disappointment though cause I've been imagining it for weeks now and I might have overhyped it in my head.

 

Ask him to slow dance in your underwear and then both of you slowly peel down!

[beachboy]

Ask him to slow dance in your underwear and then both of you slowly peel down!

Now that's hot!

[Bearofdistinction]

I know right? I've danced with guys in the clubs before but never slowed danced. It makes me wonder how it feels... I think i set myself up to disappointment though cause I've been imagining it for weeks now and I might have overhyped it in my head.

 

A slow dance in the arms of a wonderful man - eyes fixed on each other - bodies intertwined - is intimate - romantic -

food for your soul

[Zapped]

I'm 58, first hired when I was in my early or mid twenties--he was a street hustler, back when that was a thing. I was young and slender enough that occasionally older men in cars thought I was a street hustler. I almost let myself get picked up by one once, but I was so drunk that I didn't think I could perform. The guy I hired didn't mind me being young!

 

Here's what I've always liked about hiring. I want to have a sexual encounter with someone I find attractive who is going to fulfill my fantasy. Now no matter how young or old, hot or not, one may be, finding someone who turns me on and is turned on by what turns me on takes a lot of time and effort and often just doesn't happen. That was true in the old days of bars and is true now in the age of apps. Most of the hookups I've had through Grindr ended up with me fulfilling the other guy's fantasy, and I kind of wished I was getting paid. It's a lot quicker to find a guy with a body I really like who will take the role I need him to take by hiring an escort than it is messaging real and imaginary people on apps.

 

When I look back at my late teens and early twenties, I sometimes wish I had worked as an escort. I am very empathetic and can tune into someone else's energy very well. I also like NSA sex. With a bit more confidence, I could have made some good money and met some great guys.

 

Very few of my female friends can understand this. Not that we sit around and chat about the fact that I hire from time to time; I just don't know many (and?) women who both support recreational sex and voluntary, non-exploitative sex work. While I'm now comfortably out of the closet and married to a great younger man, and my straight friends are very supportive and it's a non-issue, the escorting thing is something most of them just don't get.

 

We hire massage therapists to take care of our bodies. Psychologists to take care of our emotions. We'll spend a fortune being pampered at an expensive restaurant. It's wonderful to hire someone to take care of our need for human contact and sexual fulfillment.

 

All that said, the first hires can be anxiety-provoking as well as exciting. As with any sexual encounter, insecurities get triggered. A good professional escort will accept you exactly as you are, insecurities included. They won't be new to him.

 

Enjoy.

[LADoug1]

I'm 58, first hired when I was in my early or mid twenties--he was a street hustler, back when that was a thing. I was young and slender enough that occasionally older men in cars thought I was a street hustler. I almost let myself get picked up by one once, but I was so drunk that I didn't think I could perform. The guy I hired didn't mind me being young!

 

Here's what I've always liked about hiring. I want to have a sexual encounter with someone I find attractive who is going to fulfill my fantasy. Now no matter how young or old, hot or not, one may be, finding someone who turns me on and is turned on by what turns me on takes a lot of time and effort and often just doesn't happen. That was true in the old days of bars and is true now in the age of apps. Most of the hookups I've had through Grindr ended up with me fulfilling the other guy's fantasy, and I kind of wished I was getting paid. It's a lot quicker to find a guy with a body I really like who will take the role I need him to take by hiring an escort than it is messaging real and imaginary people on apps.

 

When I look back at my late teens and early twenties, I sometimes wish I had worked as an escort. I am very empathetic and can tune into someone else's energy very well. I also like NSA sex. With a bit more confidence, I could have made some good money and met some great guys.

 

Very few of my female friends can understand this. Not that we sit around and chat about the fact that I hire from time to time; I just don't know many (and?) women who both support recreational sex and voluntary, non-exploitative sex work. While I'm now comfortably out of the closet and married to a great younger man, and my straight friends are very supportive and it's a non-issue, the escorting thing is something most of them just don't get.

 

We hire massage therapists to take care of our bodies. Psychologists to take care of our emotions. We'll spend a fortune being pampered at an expensive restaurant. It's wonderful to hire someone to take care of our need for human contact and sexual fulfillment.

 

All that said, the first hires can be anxiety-provoking as well as exciting. As with any sexual encounter, insecurities get triggered. A good professional escort will accept you exactly as you are, insecurities included. They won't be new to him.

 

Enjoy.

You may hire to fulfill YOUR fantasy but always consider what an escort also wants.

[+ sniper]

I remember going to the Gaiety in my late 20s and usually being the youngest guy in the audience by a good 20 years. I found that some of the dancers avoided me assuming I had no money, some gravitated to me thinking I'd be an easy mark because I was young, and a couple I think actually were attracted to me(though I had no idea at the time, I look back at pictures now and I was, in fact, reasonably attractive...). I got one or two "what are you doing here, you could get guys on your own" but that was usually from the guys who were new to the biz themselves.(in fact, it was none other than a very young TJ/Scott Anthony who asked me "Are you into girls? You look like you could get girls.") I had been scared shitless of AIDS in my teens and early 20s so had just been completely celibate; then the world changed when I was 26/27 as it was no longer a death sentence even if one got it, and I realized I had missed a critical developmental window. In retrospect it didn't matter but I felt like it did so I started checking out the Gaiety.

[Rod Hagen]

In retrospect it didn't matter but I felt like it did.

 

Wouldn't it have been wonderful to understand, at 26, 28, 31,35 even, that you are in fact still young? It's only long afterward that those of us, who are impatient and self-critical of our own "progress", realize this.

 

In other news, unrelated TOTALLY, I'm watching Centurions Of Rome on the other screen right now. SO AWESOME. Why is it that young men of the 70s and earlier look nearly like the daddies of young men today? It's not just the facial air. Their voices also seem to sound more mature then young men's voices today sound. Odd.

[Lookin]

I don't do mediocre sex well.

 

I think this may be the main difference between those who worry about having a good time, and those who don't. For one reason or another, my worst erotic experience with another guy was still pretty darn good. Mediocre still put a smile on my face, and I always knew that a better time was likely just around the corner.

 

Sometimes literally. http://www.boytoy.com/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif

 

http://www.featureshoot.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/chad_10.jpg

 

Not sure what makes some guys go into a tailspin when an experience doesn't tick all the boxes. But I do believe that shrugging it off as just another in a lifetime of experiences is key to eliminating disappointment as a possible outcome.

 

As a wise man once said,

 

[+ sniper]

1

Wouldn't it have been wonderful to understand, at 26, 28, 31,35 even, that you are in fact still young? It's only long afterward that those of us, who are impatient and self-critical of our own "progress", realize this.

 

In other news, unrelated TOTALLY, I'm watching Centurions Of Rome on the other screen right now. SO AWESOME. Why is it that young men of the 70s and earlier look nearly like the daddies of young men today? It's not just the facial air. Their voices also seem to sound more mature then young men's voices today sound. Odd.

 

Smoking was almost the norm rather than the exception, and people didn't avoid the sun like they do today. Both those things age the skin and the first deepens the voice.

[+ Truereview]

I think this may be the main difference between those who worry about having a good time, and those who don't. For one reason or another, my worst erotic experience with another guy was still pretty darn good. Mediocre still put a smile on my face, and I always knew that a better time was likely just around the corner.

 

Sometimes literally. http://www.boytoy.com/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif

 

http://www.featureshoot.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/chad_10.jpg

 

Not sure what makes some guys go into a tailspin when an experience doesn't tick all the boxes. But I do believe that shrugging it off as just another in a lifetime of experiences is key to eliminating disappointment as a possible outcome.

 

As a wise man once said,

 

Touché! Great observation. Thank you.

Note to self: @Lookin - easy to please. Bring more peyote to my next meeting.

[MasterMaxRR]

This is a weird one and in all my years of turning tricks, I've never thought to comment on a client's age. However, I've gotten plenty of clients that needed to hone their skills after a long relationship that ended, a college kid that's never gotten laid and is too terrified to get the experience he needs to find his inner Don Juan and perhaps more relevantly to your post, just needs to build the confidence that he is marketable after working hard to improve his health and physique. This is quite normal and Escorts who think otherwise are perhaps not too experienced in the broad scheme of a client wanting to develop himself sexually without the entanglements of romance or love. I can absolutely guarantee that even if one isn't the most perfect physically, having skills in the sheets and confidence often makes up for that in a world where perfect men are revered and fatties are hated. I'm ashamed of my culture for being this way, but in any event, it's always better to project a sense of confidence sexually and spending time with an escort who is well aware of the skills involved can only add to that confidence. After all, if you're going to learn about sex, go with the best and most experienced and soon you will be teaching the boys that you were scared to approach some tricks that they never knew existed! *wink*

 

Love and Light,

Master Max

[MasterMaxRR]

I think... And I've been thinking since yesterday. Lol. It's less about the age but more of my overall self-image issues and my tendency to hyper focus on what people thinks (which also include what the escort will think about me). Of course at the end of the day, what others think or say doesnt matter but its such a challenge to overcome that habit when its something I struggled growing up and still at times have to deal with.

 

My friend means well and she can be very naive at times. Her view of sex is somewhat overly romanticized. To her a good fuck comes hand in hand with a romantic relationship which i dont want right now. I just want the boyfriend experience (just recently learned what it means) without the actual boyfriend.

 

This is so new to me. I only found out about this recently when I read an article about the RNC convention and rentmen. I've always thought that hiring escorts are somewhat of a cloack-and-dagger business. I didnt expect it to be this accessible. Which shouldnt really surprise me considering how technology and culture have advanced.

 

Yes I will be hiring. I'm just having a hard time choosing... Also, I feel awkward about asking what the escort can and can't do. In grindr Im used to asking what we both want to do but here I have to ask them what they can do for me. I don't think I'm making sense... Sigh. Will it be really silly if I ask an escort to slow dance with me? I gave a guy head behind 7/11 but never slow danced with one. Lol.

 

Shit this end up being too long. Btw, this forum is awesome! I even like drama here and there.

 

As far as thinking paying someone to dance with you might be silly, I wholly disagree! Tina Turner made a fortune writing a song about this very thing! I would love it if a client wanted to slow dance, and might not even include that in the "billable hours". It's sure a helluva lot saner than some other requests I've gotten over the years!

 

Love and Light,

Master Max

[TruthBTold]

Actually I would think it kind of sexy if an escort asked me to dance and when I told him that I don't know how, he insisted and taught me for a little while. That, of course, would lead to some kissing.

[+ DrownedBoy]

One thing I was wondering: is there ever discrimination against younger clients because of their perceived worth?

 

Generally (but not always; look at the tech industry), older men simply have/make more money than younger ones.

 

Also, I recall seeing one or two ads where escorts specifically asked for "generous" men who were at least 30. Is this a common sentiment, or just a misinformed one?

[musicalsoul]

One thing I was wondering: is there ever discrimination against younger clients because of their perceived worth?

 

Generally (but not always; look at the tech industry), older men simply have/make more money than younger ones.

 

Also, I recall seeing one or two ads where escorts specifically asked for "generous" men who were at least 30. Is this a common sentiment, or just a misinformed one?

 

Hmm... I never really thought about that, but I guess I could see how there may be some unconscious bias based on what the typical person in the 30's would make, so that's a fair point -- especially for a new client where trust has not been established yet and an escort has to protect themselves. Curious to see what others have to say about this.

[musicalsoul]

This is a weird one and in all my years of turning tricks, I've never thought to comment on a client's age. However, I've gotten plenty of clients that needed to hone their skills after a long relationship that ended, a college kid that's never gotten laid and is too terrified to get the experience he needs to find his inner Don Juan and perhaps more relevantly to your post, just needs to build the confidence that he is marketable after working hard to improve his health and physique. This is quite normal and Escorts who think otherwise are perhaps not too experienced in the broad scheme of a client wanting to develop himself sexually without the entanglements of romance or love. I can absolutely guarantee that even if one isn't the most perfect physically, having skills in the sheets and confidence often makes up for that in a world where perfect men are revered and fatties are hated. I'm ashamed of my culture for being this way, but in any event, it's always better to project a sense of confidence sexually and spending time with an escort who is well aware of the skills involved can only add to that confidence. After all, if you're going to learn about sex, go with the best and most experienced and soon you will be teaching the boys that you were scared to approach some tricks that they never knew existed! *wink*

 

Love and Light,

Master Max

 

Thanks Master Max, I didn't see this reply for some reason, but I think it's incredibly insightful. Much appreciated!

[Juan Vancouver]

Generally (but not always; look at the tech industry), older men simply have/make more money than younger ones.

 

Nope. In my personal experience that is not a rule. I have had to cut off a few middle-aged and mature gentlemen cause they were going into emergency life savings, while I had not problem continue seeing kids who had money to throw around.

 

When it comes to escorting, I find that no common preconception works to gauge clients.

 

Hell, when it comes to people I find that no common pre-conception works to asses them.

 

We come in all colours and flavours.

[BaronArtz]

Let me say that in my early 20s I was very conflicted about being gay and very naïve about sex with another man. It was a very patient and kind escort - in Thailand - who helped me out a lot. In fact, my first gay sexual experience was with the Thai escort. We ended up being together for a week while I was on vacation there, and did see him thereafter. It was such a positive experience that I continued hiring escorts when I moved to the USA in 1989.

 

If you are an escort, please don't dismiss younger clients. Chances are, you are really helping them a lot.

[Rod Hagen]

Nope. In my personal experience that is not a rule. I have had to cut off a few middle-aged and mature gentlemen cause they were going into emergency life savings, while I had not problem continue seeing kids who had money to throw around.

When it comes to escorting, I find that no common preconception works to gauge clients.

Hell, when it comes to people I find that no common pre-conception works to asses them.

We come in all colours and flavours.

 

I obsessed on this all day and realized that only hijacking this thread temporarily would stop my head from exploding. Apologies.

 

This is a terrible thing to say but I suspect strongly Juan that you are wrong about your experiences and in fact most of your younger client's do earn less. But since I lean only on the law of averages (see link and image below) I could be wrong.

 

More important to my migraine: did 25 years of political correctness bring us to the point where it's now closed-minded to say that something is generally true?

 

Or is it that fewer people understand what "generally true" means?

 

Or do we no longer extend the courtesy of assuming the person asserting a general truth understands the simple difference between usually and always?

 

I actually don't know which possibility is worse.

 

http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/89-503-x/2010001/article/11388/tbl/tbl002-eng.htm

 

US: http://cdn.financialsamurai.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/median-salary-by-age-and-sex-455x500.png

[Juan Vancouver]

This is a terrible thing to say but I suspect strongly Juan that you are wrong about your experiences and in fact most of your younger client's do earn less. But since I lean only on the law of averages (see link and image below) I could be wrong.

 

Saying I am wrong about my experiences might be an intrinsically wrong sentence. Maybe you mean that I am wrong about my assessment of my experiences? In which case I don't see why that would be a terrible thing to say, Rod. You have your suspicions and suspicions are like feelings, they are neither right nor wrong, they just are. You are not say that you KNOW I am wrong, just that you suspect I am and give me the information at your disposal upon which you based your judgment.

 

No way you would know this but Vancouver is an incredibly expensive city. People earning money, earning a salary are unable to live here and they are specially unable to indulge in luxuries. The people who use luxury items, are more often than not VERY wealthy. A portion of this market is really rich kids who are sent to Vancouver to "Study" but do nothing other than live a very expensive life of fun. This is a huge chunk of the population here. When a young client hires me, overwhelmingly more often than not, he falls into this category.

 

It is possible your younger clients fall in the "I'm just working hard to get through college" category". I get a few of those, but they are not the majority.

 

Also, It is very possible that graphs that apply in The States are not accurate here.

 

Reminds me that there's as many different professions as there are escorts. Even the difference between Thor's clients and mine is mind boggling.

 

Takes all types.