Discussion: High Standards? A conversation with a Masseur

[niceandthick]

I had an interesting conversation with a "masseur" yesterday that I thought was worth sharing and discussing.

 

I responded to an Ad on Craigslist

 

==

 

Real man with strong hands!

 

I want straight men only. I am straight and massage therapist. Not alot of hours at the place I work and need to earn money. Full body erotic massage m4m (u guys know who I am talking too) email with questions and RATES!

http://images.craigslist.org/01717_gRb3xe90d5f_600x450.jpghttp://images.craigslist.org/00g0g_1IMmlvACv9k_600x450.jpg

==

 

Even though there was contradictory elements in the ad (straight masseur/straight client/erotic massage), I ws intrigued by the ad and the pics. After his initial response, I tried to bail. Here is the conversaion:

 

Me: Hello. Rates/Info please. Thanks

Masseur: Hi. 120 for 60 min. Theaputicc massage with a twist . I have a studio in NW the massage is done nude on a feather bed. Lots of traditional massage with stretching, stroking , extra attention given too your high stressed areas. It's fun, theraputic, relaxing , and fullfilling. Most people make future appointments prior to leaving. Oh i can also do home visits. Please hit me back with any questions. It's such a slow day if u can make it today your second time in will be gratis!!!

 

Me: Hello. Thanks for getting back to me so quickly. A session on a bed is a deal breaker for me.

Masseur: What's the difference between a massage table and a bed? Comfort. Not sure where your mind took you with the word bed. It's erotic you are suppose to be comfortable . Lol

 

Me: Well a bed gives no support for a massage. A bed certainly works well for a escort session, but that's not what you are offering...unless I missed something.

Masseur: I think maybe you are over thinking it. No I am not an escort. I am trained and been doing all types of massages for almost 10 years. Why don't your trust the professional. As you would any other service a professional provides. Have you ever had a a deep tissue massage or even a massage before?

 

Me: I have had many massages before. Most recent one was within the past 2 weeks. I have tried them on a bed and they were not satisfactory.

Masseur: Since your standards are so high and able to voice a negative opinion prior to having the service . I am afraid we will never be able too please you. Thanks.

 

Me: I don't have standards that are too high. I have reasonable expectations. I never said anything negative about you. I let you know up front what worked for me. May work for others, but not for me. Nothing negative about that.

Masseur: <no response>

 

 

Were my standards too high? Should I have trusted the professional? Your thoughts....

[LookingAround]

Yes they were too high. I've had many outstanding massages on a bed.

[cany10011]

For me, I don't think looking on craigslist (m4m section, I presume) would be the most reputable location for a strictly therapeutic massage.

[niceandthick]

For me, I don't think looking on craigslist (m4m section, I presume) would be the most reputable location for a strictly therapeutic massage.

 

I wasn't looking for strictly therapeutic. For me, the massage is the main focus, with sensual/erotic being the bonus plan. I don't want a bad massage or body rub and then a quick Hand Job (I have had many of those).

 

CL is not the only resource that I use in finding and vetting masseurs. However, of all of my hirings, my favorite masseur over the years was found on CL. My current favorite was also found on CL, as well as many others over the years. Yes it may be difficult navigating CL, but I understand the waters that I am fishing in.

[maninsoma]

If I actually want a massage versus a light body rub followed by some fun, then I definitely want to be on a table. So while I don't think your standards are too high, I do think it didn't make sense to continue the back-and-forth with this guy once you decided not to hire him. I don't see what was to gain for either you or him to have that little argument.

[+ Truereview]

If I actually want a massage versus a light body rub followed by some fun, then I definitely want to be on a table. So while I don't think your standards are too high, I do think it didn't make sense to continue the back-and-forth with this guy once you decided not to hire him. I don't see what was to gain for either you or him to have that little argument.

+1. I don't think it was high standards that led to the less than stellar exchange. To me, there is always subtext in all forms of communication, and what I was witnessing in those written words above was the typical male wrestling match: My way is right; no! my way is right. That's my interpretation- I will own that.

 

What is a bit sad is that neither of you tried options to make it win-win. Something like: using a bed is a deal breaker for me, do you offer other types of surfaces for better support? Then you are inviting the guy to think creatively. Or he could have opted to taunt you less by skipping the comment about trusting the professional (he triggered you). He could have simply said something like: I can only offer a bed at this time, but I'm all ears if you have other suggestions for a different surface. Have you tried xyz? Then he is inviting you to problem-solve with him.

 

Again, this is simply my world view (neither right or wrong, just my angle): I think we, men, consciously or subconsciously, allow power dynamics to cloud our decision-making process. It takes discipline to hold our tongue and our egos. If we were to just slightly tweak our mindset and words, we would get more massages, more wins, and probably get laid more - without necessarily having to compromise our values or preferences.

[bigvalboy]

You sounded argumentative. Once you realized he could not deliver a satisfactory service, why not just move on? Attempting to convince him of anything else seemed pointless. IMO anyway. If I were the masseur, I would have stopped responding also. Plenty of masseurs to choose from.

[niceandthick]

You sounded argumentative. Once you realized he could not deliver a satisfactory service, why not just move on? Attempting to convince him of anything else seemed pointless. IMO anyway. If I were the masseur, I would have stopped responding also. Plenty of masseurs to choose from.

 

 

Thanks guys. Love the discussion and the input. It is interesting looking at a situation with different eyes.

 

My first response back to him was that it wouldn't work ("deal breaker for me"). I thought that I was being helpful by providing a reason why I would not be pursuing a session with him. I expecting the dialog to end there (or a final "OK" response him). He continued the dialog and the volley began...however, I didn't think that I got argumentative. Different eyes though...

 

Thanks.

[CBA]

My two cents having had years of massages. Beds are very difficult to do a really great massage. The masseuse is having to run around the bed constantly to get to the other side, sometimes they sit on you...which can be erotic but not really a massage, and the ability to stretch, get underneath the head, chest and stomach is difficult. I completely understand why it is deal breaker. I would have stopped there and said goodbye. High standards? That is ones opinion. Sounds like you guys each needed to "express" your opinions more than just about the info on the massage. Lastly...CL gave me two of most wonderful guys for massage. One was only therapeutic and I saw him for 8 years. The other turned out to a very wonderful sensual/erotic experience that lasted 4 years. CL does have a lot of crazies...but there are gems in there.

[rvwnsd]

Thanks guys. Love the discussion and the input. It is interesting looking at a situation with different eyes.

 

My first response back to him was that it wouldn't work ("deal breaker for me")....

 

My first impression after reading the exchange was the same as @Truereview and @bigvalboy - a different way of stating your requirement of a table would probably have yielded a different result. For example, when the massage therapist stated he worked on a bed, your response could have been "Sorry, but for me the massage needs to be on a table. I find bed massages to be uncomfortable because I do not enough support while being massaged."

 

...I thought that I was being helpful by providing a reason why I would not be pursuing a session with him....

 

So here's a question. Let's say I said something like the following:

 

Your poor choice of words triggered this guy. Why didn't you tell him up-front that you needed more support?

 

Consider how you would interpret what I just said versus what I said in the paragraph above. Just a guess, but something tells me you would not be thanking us for our replies.

[+ EVdude]

Regardless of the tone, I'm with niceandthink... For me, no table is a deal breaker and CL remains a good source of quality, and sometimes undiscovered, massage guys at below standard M4M or MF rates. Along with the support issue, I'm more confident in a guy that has made the investment in table, though admittedly I've had some crap massages on a table.

[+ MasssageGuy]

The advertiser clearly is NOT a massage therapist as he states. Any trained therapist works on a table and not on a feather bed.

 

That being said, the advertiser is found on the following link....

 

https://rentmen.com/Chorizo

 

You gotta love TinEye!

[sg808]

I don't think you had high expectations. My experiences on beds have been very uncomfortable and awkward, which is I prefer a massage table. I don't think having a massage table is asking for a lot considering for some of these massages you are paying anywhere from 120 to 160.

[niceandthick]

The advertiser clearly is NOT a massage therapist as he states. Any trained therapist works on a table and not on a feather bed.

 

That being said, the advertiser is found on the following link....

 

https://rentmen.com/Chorizo

 

You gotta love TinEye!

 

Nice sleuthing. Google Image search didn't find a match. I will be sure to add TinEye to my arsonal

[notforme]

funnily, I

had answered another one of his ad weeks earlier. I ask him if he had any weight or age requirement. His response was he wasn't going to play that game and to fuck off. Huh??????