How to handle a persistent stalker?

[Juan Vancouver]

But it would be much easier to get one in the new location.

 

How many times have you relocated to avoid a crazy person?

 

Or do you mean -for Jamal- the easiest thing is to move?

[+ José Soplanucas]

How many times have you relocated to avoid a crazy person?

 

Or do you mean -for Jamal- the easiest thing is to move?

I think Jamal has said he was planning to move already, with or without a stalker. Considering this pre existing plan, just moving and blocking all communication channels would be the best thing to do. He would not be moving because of the stalker.

[+ WmClarke]

How many times have you relocated to avoid a crazy person?

Never. But I've never been stalked.

 

Or do you mean -for Jamal- the easiest thing is to move?

I don't understand where this question is coming from. I suggested he take action now--and again if he moves. That's all. If he moves, a restraining order in his previous location should make it easier to get one in a new location.

[coriolis888]

I think Jamal has said he was planning to move already, with or without a stalker. Considering this pre existing plan, just moving and blocking all communication channels would be the best thing to do. He would not be moving because of the stalker.

 

 

Exactly!

 

He is moving anyway. He is not moving because of the stalker.

 

The hypothetical examples presented of his being robbed or raped and not being able to make a police report are baffling, to say the least.

[Zapped]

Looks to me from his ads that the OP is based in Chicago, not Nashville, and from his post he wants to move because of this situation, not as a coincidence. His ads are already up all over the place, and if the police in his area were looking to target a male escort he's already an easy one to find. If he is making all or a substantial part of his living from escorting, taking down his ads and social media would be a problem. The ads aren't a crime in an of themselves. To arrest him for prostitution would still take setting up the sort of sting he's inviting anyway, just by doing business.

 

Based on the experience of a family member and friends who have had restraining orders taken out against them, it's a pretty easy thing to get. Evidently the principle is to err on the side of safety; the now-restrained person always has the option to go to court and fight it.

 

It seems unlikely to me that a police department will initiate an investigation and sting operation of someone with escort ads because they seek protection from a stalker. But I'm speculating, like everyone else. My suggestion, ecohing others, to Jamahl is to speak to someone familiar with law enforcement in his area (whether it's Chicago, Milwaukee, Nashville, or somewhere else). And when in doubt, to seek protection.

[coriolis888]

Looks to me from his ads that the OP is based in Chicago, not Nashville, and from his post he wants to move because of this situation, not as a coincidence.

 

Your attention is invited to the escort's opening post starting this thread. Among other things, in the last paragraph, he stated:

 

" - I personally lost all of the initial interest in the area so won't be here much longer. But it's certainly making me want to expedite getting to a new location."

 

In view of the escort's post, but particularly the above quoted post, I must respectfully disagree with your assertion that the escort wants to move "because of the situation, not as a coincidence."

 

Over the years, the escort has moved to many different locations. I interpreted his post to say that he is bored with his present location and the stalker is an impetus to make him move quicker than he would move anyway.

 

Of course, the escort can always clarify his post and reason for his desire to move.

[+ saminseattle]

Please correct me if I am misunderstanding, but when I read your post it occurs to me that this means that since Jamal is an escort, then he should allow all sorts of illegal offences done unto him -because he is an escort and this makes him vulnerable-. So if someone steals from him, he better not go to the cops, if he gets raped, don't involve the fuzz, if he gets attacked better lie low?

 

When does this end? Just because Jamal is an escort, then he should live at the margin of society and roll with the punches?

 

What happens when he runs out of places to go? And out of curiosity, do you think this is ok?

 

I absolutely do not think it is ok, but the reality is that people who are marginalized, stigmatized, or pushed into the legal shadows are often reluctant to seek help from the police—the very people whose job it is to protect them. Whether this reluctance is grounded in fact or fear, it is a reality for many people—not just an escort who is harassed, but a client who is robbed, an “illegal” immigrant who is afraid of deportation if they complain about their working conditions, a drug user who is assaulted but doesn’t want to report it for fear of getting in trouble himself, etc. As a society, we should think hard about these profoundly immoral side effects from stigmatizing and criminalizing so many things and pushing them underground. I am glad that the authorities you dealt handled the matter appropriately and with professionalism. I would like to think that the police are always so enlightened, but I must admit that I do harbor some doubts.

[klifhangar]

If you have not done so, articulate that any further contact via phone, email or any other means will be considered harassment. If he continues, call the cops. Telephonic harassment is a crime and he can go to jail for it. Once you have done that, I would cut him off in any way possible.

 

I hate to see anyone feel powerless in this way at the hands of an asshole. I am betting that he will back off if you truly stand up to him. He's feeding off of your fear and reactions.

[JamahlBrandon]

Involving the courts or the police over an issue like discussed would be embarrassing to both parties.

 

Also, you never know what reaction the police will have after they learn the nature of how the two parties met.

 

It must be an awful situation.

 

True, and I personally don't like to involve the police in trivial matters...but I do know a

detectives often will initialize a phone call to an offending party. Sometimes that's all it takes.

 

Thanks for all the replies everyone. I agree with both sides, on the one hand I don't want to even be in the "system" of giving a police report. But not quite for reasons of feeling I would be targeted as an escort. I just don't like drama. Going to the police almost always feels like drama lol. They deal with everyday, I'm just trying to chill.

 

However...I recently ran into a guy who, when we met at the mall a few months ago, was in a relationship. During a recent trip to a local mall, he seen me and we exchanged numbers. He's now single. We went on a date later that week. Sparks flew. Not to get over my head, but if this thing continues...there's a chance of possibly being in the same place with the stalker at some point. If it involves going to the frequented areas by gays.

 

I'll just have to take the risk and use the available public resources if he gets too risqué.