Beginning escort, FTM

[Sebastien Sterling]

Hey everyone. I just started working as an escort. I'm a pre-op FTM (female-to-male) transgender guy. I have been on testosterone for over 2 years. I live in Atlanta. I am quite a heavy dude, a bear type.

 

I started offering my services because I recently moved into a new apartment and have been having trouble finding a job, so I desperately need the money to make rent. I've been barely eating for the past month or two. I love this apartment and my previous living situation made me emotionally distressed, so I need to be able to stay here.

 

I'm sharing the above information so that you all understand that only a specific demographic will be interested in seeking my services.

 

I had been using my actual name, but I've come up with a professional handle--Sebastien Sterling.

 

I've had some luck advertising my services on Grindr, Growlr, and Craigslist.

I have also tried using Backpage and Seeking Arrangement but have not had any luck on either of those.

There are maybe 3 or so hookup sites specifically for FTM / trans people that I found, but most of them do not have much activity at all.

 

I just created a RentMen account, so hopefully--as long as posting ads is free like the site claims--I will have some luck there.

 

I would like to know, where else should I be advertising?

Also, what's the best way to do this so I don't get into trouble with the law?

 

I've only met with a few clients thus far. I've been managing to charge $70-150 for my services.

I'm curious, am I short-selling myself?

 

Any tips or suggestions by experienced escorts would be very much appreciated!

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this long first post.

[+ José Soplanucas]

You may want to connect with [uSER=12528]@FTM_Twink[/uSER] , he can share his experience with you, although you all guys are opening a new field here.

[+ José Soplanucas]

I forgot, WELCOME AND GOOD LUCK.

[nynakedtop]

there is an FTM gentleman on rentmasseur i believe who you may want to network with - i hate when people say "PM me for details" but, feel free to PM me for details....

[+ Keith30309]

Welcome to the forum Sebastien!

 

Everyone will have an opinion on your questions so here's mine:

 

1) Backpage - it has somewhat of a negative reputation here as a harbor for scammers and fakes, though some clients report having positive experiences with companions they've met there. You might also look at Hourboy, which seems to be a little more stable to me. You could also try Adam4Adam and creating a PRO profile. MEN4RENTNOW is another site where many companions place profiles; I've had decent luck there but lots of guys report otherwise. there's been lots of discussion about this on the forum so searching for other threads would likely be helpful.

 

2) Regarding the content of your ad, you are charging for your time only and while you may note certain things you prefer (such as being a bottom) most ads do not imply in any way an exchange of sex for money.

 

3) @latbear4blk 's suggestion about contacting [uSER=12528]@FTM_Twink[/uSER] for advice on your niche is a good one. I'm not familiar with rates or other elements specific to it. I can tell you that the last time I did a scan, the average Atlanta hourly rate on RM was was ~$200.

 

Feel free to PM me on Atlanta-specific questions.

 

[EDIT: Oh yeah- you may want to create a Forum signature that includes a link to your ad(s)]

[Sebastien Sterling]

Thanks to everyone for the quick and kind responses!

 

I will try to connect with the two recommended folks, and thank you @Keith30309 for your offer to speak with you regarding Atlanta-speific questions.

 

It appears that RentMen, RentMasseur, and HourBoy cost money to create accounts. I'm assuming that Men4RentNow is the same?

I really cannot afford to pay for creating profiles / listings at the moment. I can barely even afford to pay for my 3 basic bills (rent, car payment, and phone bill) or eat.

 

If Adam4Adam is free, I will sign up there.

 

Yes, I have been wondering how to word the "payment is not for sex" thing--because obviously my ads will mention the possibility of sex.

 

Does wording it as such seem adequate?:

"PLEASE NOTE: I accept cash only, and payment is made in exchange for my time and company. My companionship is the service that is being provided. While sexual relations may occur, sex is not guaranteed! Any money exchanged is NOT a result of sex. I sleep with people I have a connection with. Offering me more money will not convince me to sleep with you."

[+ WmClarke]

Does wording it as such seem adequate?:

"PLEASE NOTE: I accept cash only, and payment is made in exchange for my time and company. My companionship is the service that is being provided. While sexual relations may occur, sex is not guaranteed! Any money exchanged is NOT a result of sex. I sleep with people I have a connection with. Offering me more money will not convince me to sleep with you."

I think you can be more concise with the second half. maybe even cut it out:

 

PLEASE NOTE: I accept cash only, and payment is made in exchange for my time and company. My companionship is the service that is being provided.

 

Good luck!

[LivingnLA]

@Sebastien Sterling, welcome to the forum! You'll definitely want to connect with [uSER=12528]@FTM_Twink[/uSER] as he is one of the great active forum members and he has direct personal experience with what you're trying to do.

 

Also, please be careful how you word your ad. It's critical that it not explicitly relate sex and money in any way. @WmClarke just ninja'd me on this point. I would encourage you to learn how to talk about your services without money & sex being mentioned together because those texts, calls, etc. may be used against you if it's an undercover cop.

 

Lastly, please learn about STIs, how they're shared, and how to protect yourself. Atlanta has some very high STI rates, far above national averages, so please be safe. Find a free public clinic or nonprofit where you can get yourself fully tested at least twice a year, though if you see many clients, I'd see if quarterly were possible.

[jawjateck]

...HourBoy cost money to create accounts.

 

That's news to me. I thought it was a freebie site in the past. Welcome to the forum.

[Sebastien Sterling]

That's news to me. I thought it was a freebie site in the past. Welcome to the forum.

 

Oh, actually, my issue with HourBoy is that it won't let me sign up. It keeps giving me an error about needing at least 50 characters for my "About Me" even though I do have at least 50 characters, and I tried several different descriptions. Pretty annoying. :/

[AndreFuture]

Hey @Sebastien Sterling! I just sent you a message, but thought I'd properly welcome you to the forum. I second, third, and fourth everything that's been said so far. Also, I'm going to be in Atlanta in a few weeks and would be happy to talk with you in person as well.

 

Do check out the rates of what other guys in your area charge. If you're concerned about volume, you *may* want to offer slightly lower rates, though as a niche, you would do even better to offer slightly higher. In fact, you could set your rates to encourage overnight appointments (low, e.g., $750) and get the most out of an hourly one (high, e.g., $300). If your hourly rates are so low, you may inadvertently attract some unsavory characters.

[MasterMaxRR]

Excellent advice from all, and I second much of it.

 

WmClarke has it right on advocating brevity. The message isn't for the clients, so a simple disclaimer will do.

 

Networking with people that represent the niche you are in as others have suggested is tantamount to gaining the exposure you need, and the support you need to do it. Also, consider networking and working with other escorts even if they're mainstream. Any exposure even outside what you would think is your niche can offer surprising opportunities.

 

As far as short selling yourself, perhaps a bit. You want to keep your initial rates 10-20% lower than the average but any lower than that and indeed you may be attracting the cheaper less honorable sort. However, as soon as you get enough clients to pay for advertising (I'd say one or two a week) then bumping your prices to the average will show indirectly that you've created a marketable asset. I cringe at using that term as it can seem de-humanizing, but the laws of commodity markets have a lot of relevance to this business and cross over well. Also, check out the threads that are related to generating business so you can get a sense of how ideas work for others.

 

If you are comfortable with everyone knowing what you do, then I would perhaps suggest that you make a sort of open approach to sharing your journey as a transgender escort through social media, writing a journal or blog etc. I know the idea is really out there, but if you can be a beacon of hope for others who face similar challenges while possibly going for a celebrity status type thing? My main point is that with American culture finally catching up to the idea that we are all diverse in so many different ways, your story can be a powerful inspiration to many, and NOW is the time to do it. Even 30 years ago, no chance. 30 years from now, and transgender escorts may become mainstream. I really hate to suggest it, but the Kardashians have made an art of this sort of thing, but despite my issues with the way they present themselves morally, the way they've promoted themselves in business is an example that any astute businessman would pay attention to. I've always wanted to do this myself, but I'm too common and easily lost among the crowd of gay male escorts for it to really work. You however, if you can figure out how to do it, might very well find that you are unique enough to stand out in the best way possible. Please remember though, this is a long term goal, if it even fits with who you are. I'm making lots of assumptions here and in truth, It makes me uncomfortable to do so. I've always been known for weird ass ideas, but sometimes, they have been my most fulfilling ones. Moving on.

 

Come across as successful even when it's anything but. If potential clients that see your ads realize that others are hiring you, then they just might think that there is something they may be missing out on by not exploring the tantalizing aspect of getting to know and be intimate with someone in transition. Advertise in a way that promotes your services as something special and rare without coming across as elitist. I've certainly entertained the idea of intimate relations with T/G myself since I have Cherokee blood and as I'm sure you know, Native Americans have a very healthy view of someone who has aspects of both genders. Even though you identify as male, it would be irrelevant as far as the natives are concerned. They would see you as special and to be revered.

 

I'm afraid I have little solid, earthshaking advice to offer that hasn't already been said, but I wanted to express my admiration to you for trying to start out in a very select market, especially under difficult financial circumstances. Just wanted to offer my support in any way I can! If you are ever in my area, my hospitality is yours! Fortunately, in Austin there is a very liberal and young demographic with Austin itself and the universities close by, so if you advertised here ahead of time and can arrange one or two bookings, it might be worth arranging the trip especially if you don't have to shell out for accommodations. Also, my ability to offer a safe environment is second to none. Good neighborhood, excellent security system and a long history of martial arts and military training.

 

If you will allow me, I would like to sponsor a month on Rentmen, as they make it easy to do without much risk to me or you. Hopefully this will enable you to sort of build up the momentum you need to keep the snowball rolling down the hill. I just hope you don't find this offensive or a form of pity. Pity is for the weak, something you clearly are not. I hope to get the chance to know you even if only to offer support from an old hand in the business. I expect nothing in return except your continued perseverance. Read some of the posts I've made and decide for yourself if my experience is relevant to your situation.

 

Lastly, I have to admit, I am not the most educated on the proper social conventions of transgender culture, so if anything I have said is offensive or ignorant, please, please, correct me!

 

Sometimes I feel as if I'm talking out of my ass, but if even one thing I've written helps you in the slightest way, then I'll take that title with pride!

 

Big squeezey bear hug!

Master Max

[MasterMaxRR]

Also, it may be wicked of me, but I am happy to come back every few days and post a little something (relevant of course) so this thread stays near the top of the deck and therefore will help you in the fact that more people may see this more often. You deserve all the support this community has to offer, simply by being a kind human being.

 

Hugs!

Master Max