One Former Working Man's Discouraging Words

[Kippy]

Poor Mark sounds like a spoiled little school girl. The bottom line is he seems to be lazy. All jobs are hard-- unless he finds a youngish and very attractive sugar daddy (who will soon tire of his whining and antics!) he may never find anything that appears to be agreeable to him even in the slightest way.

 

Peace,

 

Kipp

[+ DickyF]

I've had escorts who have told me their real name, have invited me onto their FB, have visited me while off-the-clock, and given other indicators that they don't despise me. I'm sure at least part of this is good business practice but regardless. I know this has been discussed before. I've certainly seen ads where it is clear the engagement is to be purely anonymous sex basically which is perfectly fine as well. If an escort prefers to keep it to sex only then I suggest he don't offer the BFE!

 

Decades ago I was a waiter, and know there are days when you hate all your customers and think being paid by tips you're practically an indentured servant. I also worked in a factory - where you're practically nothing but a mindless cog!

[+ nycman]

Mark sounds like a lazy spoiled brat.

 

Escorting is hard work.

 

Anyone who thinks otherwise has either never done it...or they sucked at it.

[gezellig4u]

The closest to an expression of regret that I have ever heard was from an escort that also did porn, and it was being in several porn videos that he described as exploitative, not escorting. When I asked him to elaborate, he explained that after a date was over, it was over. If he wanted to do a repeat with the client, that was his choice and accompanied by a new fee. He felt that with porn, he was paid a one-time flat fee to complete a scene, but that scene would then live on forever, completely beyond his control, and could pop up years later in an inopportune context.

[mike carey]

I wouldn't characterise Mark as being spoilt or lazy, rather he seems not to have fully understood the nature of service jobs. Yes they can feel exploitative but if you work in one of them you have to realise that your job is to provide the customer with the experience he or she wants. Sure, the customer can have a lousy attitude, but you have to take that in your stride, you can only control your own attitude. A positive approach from someone in retail, from a waiter or from an escort can 'make' the experience for the customer, and a happy customer makes the service provider's job more enjoyable. A job anywhere is what you make of it!

[+ azdr0710]

as my Mom used to say, "Nobody wakes up for free"

[gezellig4u]

as my Mom used to say, "Nobody wakes up for free"

Are you sure that she didn't say "Nobody works for free?" Unless one is in a coma or persistent vegetative state, everyone wakes up for free.

[MikeBauer]

I understand that service jobs and working directly with the public are not for everyone, but when I discovered that Mark had also dropped out of school because there was too much work to do and the professors were allegedly too demanding, I became exasperated. If someone cannot cope with retail or restaurant jobs, teachers or other authority figures, and even complains about men who lavish gifts and money upon him, how is he going to survive in the real world? What employment is he going to find that offers no interaction with the public, no hard work, and no one ever making any demands on him? Pffft!

[AndreFuture]

I would agree with many others here that Mark's feelings may be valid based on his own experience (which is unfortunate), but can't be said for many, and dare I say it, most people who escort—male and female. I know of both female and male escorts who do this work because they enjoy it, it suits them, and some are even activists in decriminalizing sex work. Of course, because of the grey area that escorting occupies, it's ripe for exploitation, but I don't know if that's true of the majority of folks involved.

[+ ArVaGuy]

I'm going out on a limb here and making a prediction. A year from now your friend John will not be in a relationship with Mark. The dude has some issues.

[MikeBauer]

I'm going out on a limb here and making a prediction. A year from now your friend John will not be in a relationship with Mark. The dude has some issues.

 

I imagine that as he gets older, Mark will also get more mature, but I do believe that with his present attitude, earning money and supporting himself might prove challenging. Fortunately for him, John is very, very, very patient. And a sucker for a pretty face.

[+ saminseattle]

I understand that service jobs and working directly with the public are not for everyone, but when I discovered that Mark had also dropped out of school because there was too much work to do and the professors were allegedly too demanding, I became exasperated. If someone cannot cope with retail or restaurant jobs, teachers or other authority figures, and even complains about men who lavish gifts and money upon him, how is he going to survive in the real world? What employment is he going to find that offers no interaction with the public, no hard work, and no one ever making any demands on him? Pffft!

 

While I would not call him "spoiled," it doesn’t sound like his expectations are very realistic. But isn’t that just part of the transition to adulthood? Frankly, he just sounds very young to me. You can get by with youth and a pretty face for a long time, but eventually that will fade, hopefully replaced by more experience and wisdom. I am reminded of one of Steven Kessler's favorite sayings: “In youth and beauty, wisdom is rare.” And as long as I’m quoting life aphorisms, one thing I have learned is that pretty much everything you need to know in life can be found in British 80’s New Wave songs. In this case, Depeche Mode:

 

“You’ve got to work hard. You’ve got to work hard. If you want anything at all. Nothing comes easy. And that’s a fact. Nothing comes easy but a broken back. You’ve got to work hard. You’ve got to work hard. So work hard!”

 

[DonaldTramp]

While I would not call him "spoiled," it doesn’t sound like his expectations are not very realistic. But isn’t that just part of the transition to adulthood? Frankly, he just sounds very young to me. You can get by with youth and a pretty face for a long time, but eventually that will fade, hopefully replaced by more experience and wisdom. I am reminded of one of Steven Kessler's favorite sayings: “In youth and beauty, wisdom is rare.” And as long as I’m quoting life aphorisms, one thing I have learned is that pretty much everything you need to know in life can be found in British 80’s New Wave songs. In this case, Depeche Mode:

 

“You’ve got to work hard. You’ve got to work hard. If you want anything at all. Nothing comes easy. And that’s a fact. Nothing comes easy but a broken back. You’ve got to work hard. You’ve got to work hard. So work hard!”

 

I think " Bitch Better Have My Money" is a better motto to live by.

[gezellig4u]

I understand that service jobs and working directly with the public are not for everyone, but when I discovered that Mark had also dropped out of school because there was too much work to do and the professors were allegedly too demanding, I became exasperated. If someone cannot cope with retail or restaurant jobs, teachers or other authority figures, and even complains about men who lavish gifts and money upon him, how is he going to survive in the real world? What employment is he going to find that offers no interaction with the public, no hard work, and no one ever making any demands on him? Pffft!

And if Mark is hoping for a sugar daddy, he will really have to align his attitude to reality.

[jawjateck]

Mark's self-loathing doesn't make me feel bad in the least. Guess I'm a mean sumbitch. Cheers to more good times with good guys!

[Mark tunnel]

A very good friend of mine recently started dating a younger man named Mark, who had worked his way through university by escorting.

 

When I mentioned to Mark that I had recently contacted a working guy for the very first time, he became very animated and told me that I should think twice about repeating the experience.

 

According to this young man, escorting is a form of abuse that the escorts force themselves to endure because of economic hardship, or because of unresolved emotional scars. He said that escorts "always" feel denigrated by the experience, and that no matter what they say to the contrary, they secretly resent and even actively dislike the clients who hire them and therefore treat them like objects.

 

While I would never discount any one individual's personal reaction to this line of work, I find it hard to believe that you can paint all escorts' experience and every escort/client interaction with the same broad, negative stroke.

 

It would be different if the escort were unwillingly coerced into escorting, or if the clients were literally abusive, physically or mentally.

 

From what I see here and in "real life," however, the dynamics of male-male escorting are not the same as female-male escorting, particularly when the women are being managed by pimps. The (admittedly few) men I know who have used escorting as a tool to pay their way through school or to resolve debts, have had a broad spectrum of experiences, depending on how individual clients treated them. A lot of those experiences have been positive, some neutral, and some bad. I know a few cases of former escorts and their clients who have developed good, friendly relationships. Heck, some escorts even publicly say they enjoy their work and meeting new people.

 

For escorts who have otherwise satisfying lives, and who escort for whatever reason(s), surely they do not ALL feel abused and denigrated by their clients.

 

What are your thoughts on this admittedly-sensitive subject?

A very good friend of mine recently started dating a younger man named Mark, who had worked his way through university by escorting.

 

When I mentioned to Mark that I had recently contacted a working guy for the very first time, he became very animated and told me that I should think twice about repeating the experience.

 

According to this young man, escorting is a form of abuse that the escorts force themselves to endure because of economic hardship, or because of unresolved emotional scars. He said that escorts "always" feel denigrated by the experience, and that no matter what they say to the contrary, they secretly resent and even actively dislike the clients who hire them and therefore treat them like objects.

 

While I would never discount any one individual's personal reaction to this line of work, I find it hard to believe that you can paint all escorts' experience and every escort/client interaction with the same broad, negative stroke.

 

It would be different if the escort were unwillingly coerced into escorting, or if the clients were literally abusive, physically or mentally.

 

From what I see here and in "real life," however, the dynamics of male-male escorting are not the same as female-male escorting, particularly when the women are being managed by pimps. The (admittedly few) men I know who have used escorting as a tool to pay their way through school or to resolve debts, have had a broad spectrum of experiences, depending on how individual clients treated them. A lot of those experiences have been positive, some neutral, and some bad. I know a few cases of former escorts and their clients who have developed good, friendly relationships. Heck, some escorts even publicly say they enjoy their work and meeting new people.

 

For escorts who have otherwise satisfying lives, and who escort for whatever reason(s), surely they do not ALL feel abused and denigrated by their clients.

 

What are your thoughts on this admittedly-sensitive subject?

[+ WilliamM]

Mark's self-loathing doesn't make me feel bad in the least.

 

Why do you believe Mark is self-loathing rather than quite immature?

[LADoug1]

Like most people, Mark will need to pay his dues as he enters the working world be it escorting or almost any other career. As he matures I predict he will regret not having finished his education.

 

I feel sorry for him. His issues most likely will lead him down the wrong paths. I hope I'm wrong and wish him well despite his current attitude.

[Kippy]

LADoug1 is right-- a sense of entitlement only leads to road blocks and dead ends. One can grow out of it hopefully sooner than later!

 

Peace,

 

Kipp

[ChrisWydeman]

A very good friend of mine recently started dating a younger man named Mark, who had worked his way through university by escorting.

 

When I mentioned to Mark that I had recently contacted a working guy for the very first time, he became very animated and told me that I should think twice about repeating the experience.

 

According to this young man, escorting is a form of abuse that the escorts force themselves to endure because of economic hardship, or because of unresolved emotional scars. He said that escorts "always" feel denigrated by the experience, and that no matter what they say to the contrary, they secretly resent and even actively dislike the clients who hire them and therefore treat them like objects.

 

While I would never discount any one individual's personal reaction to this line of work, I find it hard to believe that you can paint all escorts' experience and every escort/client interaction with the same broad, negative stroke.

 

It would be different if the escort were unwillingly coerced into escorting, or if the clients were literally abusive, physically or mentally.

 

From what I see here and in "real life," however, the dynamics of male-male escorting are not the same as female-male escorting, particularly when the women are being managed by pimps. The (admittedly few) men I know who have used escorting as a tool to pay their way through school or to resolve debts, have had a broad spectrum of experiences, depending on how individual clients treated them. A lot of those experiences have been positive, some neutral, and some bad. I know a few cases of former escorts and their clients who have developed good, friendly relationships. Heck, some escorts even publicly say they enjoy their work and meeting new people.

 

For escorts who have otherwise satisfying lives, and who escort for whatever reason(s), surely they do not ALL feel abused and denigrated by their clients.

 

What are your thoughts on this admittedly-sensitive subject?

There are many people that engage in survival prositution and its heart breaking but there are those out there that are consensual sex workers that love what they do. Sure you will meet some creeps along the way and have some fucked up or down right bizarre experiences but that doesn't outweigh all the enjoyment it can bring.

 

I think there is a certain psychological disposition that makes for a good escort and quite frankly not everyone is cut out for it. For some it will have a deleterious effect on there psyche where as others find it emotional fulfilling. If your going to hire a professional make sure they ARE a professional. Ever since the RB shenanigans I have seen so many more people advertising but I doubt they are the same quality as a DavidSf, Alec Andrews, or myself (thats right I am gonna toot my own horn;)). By all means hire that hot new thing you find on rentmen that doesn't have any reviews but be aware that they may not be the same quality not just because of experience, but because it may just be a means to and end rather than there passion.

[rvwnsd]

"Mark"sounds like he has some issues and those issues will (IMO) require more than maturity to resolve.

 

Good luck to your friend. He needs it.

[oscarkin]

There are many people that engage in survival prositution and its heart breaking but there are those out there that are consensual sex workers that love what they do. Sure you will meet some creeps along the way and have some fucked up or down right bizarre experiences but that doesn't outweigh all the enjoyment it can bring.

 

I think there is a certain psychological disposition that makes for a good escort and quite frankly not everyone is cut out for it. For some it will have a deleterious effect on there psyche where as others find it emotional fulfilling. If your going to hire a professional make sure they ARE a professional. Ever since the RB shenanigans I have seen so many more people advertising but I doubt they are the same quality as a DavidSf, Alec Andrews, or myself (thats right I am gonna toot my own horn;)). By all means hire that hot new thing you find on rentmen that doesn't have any reviews but be aware that they may not be the same quality not just because of experience, but because it may just be a means to and end rather than there passion.

 

 

I'm curious about your statement regarding the psychological disposition that makes for a good escort. What qualities do you have in mind? In my experience, finding someone who is well-grounded and willing to risk a real person-to-person encounter with the client is critical. The absence of either is a major turn-off. I can see how other qualities -- flexibility comes to mind -- might also come into play.

[klifhangar]

I think if you were to buy that bullshit, you may as well buy that all black men have big penises, all gay men are pedophiles, all lesbians are angry vegetarians, all Arabs are terrorists, etc. I'm sorry for your friend that he has that experience and impression of escorting.

 

True. Some angry lesbians are carnivores.

[MikeBauer]

Like most people, Mark will need to pay his dues as he enters the working world be it escorting or almost any other career. As he matures I predict he will regret not having finished his education.

 

I feel sorry for him. His issues most likely will lead him down the wrong paths. I hope I'm wrong and wish him well despite his current attitude.

 

As previously noted, I don't know Mark very well, and my advice means nothing to him, but I have urged him to go back to school and finish his education now, while he's in his 20s. Even if he does finds it difficult, his employment prospects will expand with a university degree. He says it is "just a piece of paper," but many employees look for, or insist upon, seeing that piece of paper before hiring you.

[MikeBauer]

"Mark"sounds like he has some issues and those issues will (IMO) require more than maturity to resolve.

 

Good luck to your friend. He needs it.

 

My friend is currently infatuated with Mark, and sees him through rose-colored glasses, but with Mark now suggesting that they live together--in John's house and at John's expense--I wonder how long the bloom will remain on the rose. I think certain signs bode ill for the success of their relationship, but we'll see.

 

This is why I don't want a boyfriend. Chocolate is more satisfying, less expensive, and a lot less less exhausting, LOL.