A question about climax

[+ Eric Hassan]

While I certainly don't speak for all doctors, it's not their fault that meds tend to be more maintenance and less cure. If you wish to blame someone, blame the unethical and amoral neoliberal capitalism we have in America. It's in drug company's profit interests to create medications and treatments that are maintenance oriented as opposed to curative because it enables them to create a large number of customers with multi-decade buying needs.

 

Yes, doctors have their own opinions, they're human after all, but generally speaking GPs, FPs, and IMs don't stay in the profession for the money. Being a PCP is brutal and the pay--while very good compared to the economy at large--is only so so considering the workload and education required.

 

Honestly, I think patients should stand up for themselves more. The inability to cum is a side-effect that can usually be addressed in these cases if the doctor takes the time to understand what's going on in the patient's body. The patient needs to help the doctor realize how critical it is for them as a quality of life issue fundamental to their psychological concept of masculinity and manhood.

 

But, that's my overpaid opinion and it plus a buck won't buy ya a cup of coffee in many places nowadays.

 

Take care of yourself and life as well as you can.

 

I don't want to address the capitalism issue - otherwise, I strongly agree with the sentiment of this post. I work in medicine (I'm an OT) and many of my friends (and my boyfriend) are doctors. The medical system in the US is a mess - costs are astronomical, time is limited, expectations are heightened, the population is living longer and sicker - and quality of life sometimes isn't considered. Standing up for yourself and your quality of life is very important. Most medical professionals want to help, want to get you "better," and the reality is that sometimes that is possible and sometimes it is not. Telling your doctor what matters to you ("I want to be able to cum.") and asking if there's an actual solution (can you be off the meds, can you switch meds, can you try another approach) and requesting a yes/no response can be very helpful. I imagine most folks would rather have a direct and honest response than constant med changes or a "let's see what happens" approach.

[LivingnLA]

I don't want to address the capitalism issue....

 

Fair enough. Many Americans don't seem to want to address it either, especially leaders of the DNC & GOP.

 

Thank you Eric for a great reply.

[Rudynate]

Telling your doctor what matters to you ("I want to be able to cum.") and asking if there's an actual solution (can you be off the meds, can you switch meds, can you try another approach) and requesting a yes/no response can be very helpful. I imagine most folks would rather have a direct and honest response than constant med changes or a "let's see what happens" approach.

 

I think docs at Kaiser must receive training in clear communication. You go in, they figure out your problem, and they give you a list of options, with the advantages and downsides of each. All that's left is for you to choose a way forward.

[LivingnLA]

I think docs at Kaiser must receive training in clear communication. You go in, they figure out your problem, and they give you a list of options, with the advantages and downsides of each. All that's left is for you to choose a way forward.

 

I like alot of what Kaiser does. It's definitely a template for improving alot of what's broken in American medical care. It has its own issues, but it's head and shoulders above most medical care in America.

[+ Eric Hassan]

Fair enough. Many Americans don't seem to want to address it either, especially leaders of the DNC & GOP.

 

Thank you Eric for a great reply.

 

Totally agree. I didn't want to address is because it's a HUGE topic and I tend to get a bit incensed when I talk about it It drives me crazy that we're supposedly such a rich country but people are hungry and homeless and can't get proper healthcare.

[LivingnLA]

Totally agree. I didn't want to address is because it's a HUGE topic and I tend to get a bit incensed when I talk about it It drives me crazy that we're supposedly such a rich country but people are hungry and homeless and can't get proper healthcare.

 

Master Hassan, we are the richest country in human history. The numbers aren't in dispute. The issue is distribution, but I'm sure you're well aware of that so I won't grab that particular soapbox.

[TruthBTold]

TruthBTold - in response to your question, I can almost never cum when I'm with another person. It's not so much a physical issue for me, just all in my head (in order to make it happen, my mind has to wander to a very private place, and just can't get there with someone else in the room).

 

Coming back to the point, I've always let my partners know about this so they know what to expect and not take it personally. All of my hires to date have been completely ok with that (or if they weren't they never let it show).

 

With my Scruff dates on the other hand, the responses have been more mixed. Some have been understanding, some are a bit puzzled but not too bothered, others seem to take it personally and assume that the reason I don't cum is because I'm not really into them. For this I have found that it often helps to not have sex on the first couple of dates, but just use that time to make out, build rapport and convince the other person that I really do like them. Then when it's time for the disclosure they are more likely to believe me when I tell them that it's not about them and that I really do find them attractive.

 

My suggestion is to be open about it. I would expect that good escorts will be understanding and not hold it against you.

 

 

Thanks Wolf, very much.

[TruthBTold]

I imagine you've surmised by now that my conversational--and thinking style for that matter--can meander along branches and snap-back to the trunk topic frequently.

 

Wait! Didn't YOU start this thread? So I should be apologizing to you! Doubly sorry I am.

 

 

Absolutely true. I am a hijacker. I apologize to everyone I need to.

[Rudynate]

I like alot of what Kaiser does. It's definitely a template for improving alot of what's broken in American medical care. It has its own issues, but it's head and shoulders above most medical care in America.

 

It's a different place since the ACA took effect. I was good friends with a doc there and he told me about all the trainings and information sessions they had to go to in the lead-up to full implementation of ACA. They realized that they were going to have to increase services and improve quality of care in order to attract and retain all of the new insureds that the ACA created.

[LADoug1]

Lack of orgasm doesn't necessarily correlate with pleasure for either the escort or the client. I have sex with a guy and generally don't orgasm but he always says the sex is mind-blowing. Many people say orgasms are overrated. For me an "intimacy-orgasm" is what I want most.

[LADoug1]

I like alot of what Kaiser does. It's definitely a template for improving alot of what's broken in American medical care. It has its own issues, but it's head and shoulders above most medical care in America.

When Kaiser works it works great. When it doesn't work it can be a disaster.

[Rudynate]

When Kaiser works it works great. When it doesn't work it can be a disaster.

 

Most Kaiser members have a Kaiser story. I have my own, but I avoid telling it because I get angry about the episode all over again. As long as I don't speak of it or think about it, I can live with it.

[LivingnLA]

When Kaiser works it works great. When it doesn't work it can be a disaster.

 

Absolutely, which is why I said it was template or starting point for improving our system. They are not perfect, but I'd recommend them for an overwhelming majority of people over other medical care options.

[MikeyGMin]

Absolutely, which is why I said it was template or starting point for improving our system. They are not perfect, but I'd recommend them for an overwhelming majority of people over other medical care options.

 

Same here. I was in the Kaiser system for 10 years and two surgeries, and never once felt like they were cutting corners. One of the surgeries was on my neck and they had a plastic surgeon come in to close just to minimize scarring. (I choose not to think that meant the other surgeon wasn't capable of it. )

 

I've been out for 5 years and certainly shouldn't whine about the quality of my health care, but I still miss them.

[Rudynate]

Same here. I was in the Kaiser system for 10 years and two surgeries, and never once felt like they were cutting corners. One of the surgeries was on my neck and they had a plastic surgeon come in to close just to minimize scarring. (I choose not to think that meant the other surgeon wasn't capable of it. )

 

I've been out for 5 years and certainly shouldn't whine about the quality of my health care, but I still miss them.

 

I've had two spine surgeries with Kaiser - no complaints. I think the world of my surgeon - he's supposed to be one of the best spine surgeons in the region. I would say my surgical care was outstanding and the hospital care was adequate. Kaiser is justly famous for the poor quality of their followup care and rehab and they lived up to their reputation for both surgeries.

[LADoug1]

TruthBTold - in response to your question, I can almost never cum when I'm with another person. It's not so much a physical issue for me, just all in my head (in order to make it happen, my mind has to wander to a very private place, and just can't get there with someone else in the room.

 

I'm the same way. I need to go into my mind and fantasize. I'm self conscious about this so usually don't do it. So I don't cum. But usually my orgasm after they've gone is mind-blowing.

[LADoug1]

Most Kaiser members have a Kaiser story. I have my own, but I avoid telling it because I get angry about the episode all over again. As long as I don't speak of it or think about it, I can live with it.

 

I have multiple stories which range from bureaucratic incompetence to out and out medical errors which were worthy of formal complaint. But I also have good stories worthy of merit. Guess this is true for most large medical providers. I'm on Medicare and live in LA. Any better suggestions would be appreciated.

[BodeBrentwood]

I have had experiences where I have multiple clients in a day, and as long as they're at least fingering me, a decent load comes out. I try to take an hour or two between clients to get my dick back to normal though and get my energy back.

[+ Truereview]

... and as long as they are at least fingering me, a decent load comes out...

Gotta log off and go practice!

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-W9ApOM13qts/UO8mbKRG8bI/AAAAAAAAVQk/SHBmaoEoAMI/s1600/wag+finger+2.gif

[+ nycman]

Wait.....I'm suppose to care if the other guy cums or not?

 

Christ that sounds like a lot of work and angst.

 

You people confuse me.

 

It's great if they cum....it's great if they don't.

 

I recently had a mighty powerful hook up in Vegas. We literally fucked for hours. In the end,

we collapsed into each others arms and fell asleep. We were both exhausted and covered in

sweat but neither one of us came...and I' pretty damn sure neither one of us cared.

 

It was great fucking sex. Period.

 

You people are doing it wrong.

 

Grin

[BasketBaller]

Maybe my rationale for asking is that having lived as a straight man until past 30, the idea that your partner should orgasm was strongly ingrained, you were a selfish bastard if she didn't. Cumming at the same time was the epitome of hot sex. So I probably have carried that assumption into my gay encounters without considering that it's less likely we'll cum together anyway, and that men are maybe more in charge of their own orgasms.

[MasterMaxRR]

Hi Y'all!

 

As an escort, this question is infinitely more complicated for me than as a client. Curious to see if anyone else sees it the same way I do.

 

Let's start as a client since it will be brief and simple. I am paying for my sexual satisfaction, but my need to please often gets in the way of that logic. It's literally a battle of wills between my upper brain and my lower brain. The secret for me in this conundrum is if I want to orgasm, I have to discount the escort's needs to some extent. If I want that warm fuzzy feeling of satisfying the escort, then I have to discount my own needs almost completely. Sometimes I really hate being a Gemini!!

 

As an escort, my focus is always on the client's pleasure since that is what I'm paid to do and in that situation, I do quite well. But, when the client depends on my orgasm for pleasure, or "demands" that I cum, well it kinda goes out the window for me and the dick shrinks. It's the whole cum-on-demand that porn stars have to work with is exactly the reason I will never do porn.

 

Also, one of the escorts I worked with years ago would always complain that his clients always wanted him to cum, and if he had four bookings in a day I would never hear the end of it. Having been in the same situation myself occasionally, I would often explain to my clients that I prefer to focus on their pleasure but if they really needed me to cum, then I would do so, hoping the next client wouldn't need that. Sometimes by my last client, I just don't have no mo' juice and simply related that to the client and they often understood regardless of whether they expected it or not. For the few clients that got pissed at me, I would just mollify them with a small discount and that usually settled it, and I had no resentments over having to do this simply because it was logical since I couldn't provide the "full" service. I don't have to cum, they get a discount, win-win. I just wish I could follow the converse of this logic, charge 30% of my usual rate, show up, blow my load and split. However, I suspect that the clients that "need" the cum wouldn't be satisfied by this arrangement. Says more about them than me I think.

 

Ultimately my favorite clients were the ones that expressed the want, but also realized that it wasn't the holy grail. Like they say about many things, it's not the destination, it's the journey.

 

Master Max

[TruthBTold]

I have had experiences where I have multiple clients in a day, and as long as they're at least fingering me, a decent load comes out. I try to take an hour or two between clients to get my dick back to normal though and get my energy back.

 

BodeBrentwood, I have been in a similar position without the long line of clients. I can have a long fuck me/fuck you session and not cum. But if my partner fingers me, ZIP A DEE DOO DA, ZIP A DEE DAY AY.

[+ Keith30309]

I have had experiences where I have multiple clients in a day, and as long as they're at least fingering me, a decent load comes out. I try to take an hour or two between clients to get my dick back to normal though and get my energy back.

 

Very nice profile Bode - I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist that you allow me to assist you in demonstrating this. It's purely for research purposes, nothing salacious.

Travel much?

[TruthBTold]

Must agree. Cute with very nice accouterment.