Hiring local talent

[Gar1eth]

Gman....I live in Dallas too. Maybe he was referring to great cocksuckers we have here in Big D. . I personally have had some great bjs in Dallas. Surely he wasn't talking about Dallitude.

 

I'm only there in spirit unfortunately. As for Dallitude, Seattle seems to be full of it too.

 

Gman

[ChrisWydeman]

The issue of personal privacy and identity came up in another topic, prompting a realization on my part: I almost never hire "local talent" because there's a distinct chance that our paths will cross in "real life". I have already encountered local talent which I haven't hired in banks, bars, restaurants, grocery stores, the public library, and on the streets. Not so long ago, one of you lived so close to me that I could have estimated the average number of in calls you had a week. Once, one of you and your friends sat right next to me in a restaurant--close enough that I learned your real name, that you were a new uncle, and that you really wanted to bed one of the trainers at your gym. (So did I. Smoking hot! Thankfully, I never encountered you at our gym.) You, needless to say, had no idea who I was. I was just anonymous daily face #7895 to you, but you couldn't have been more obvious to me had you worn a placard with your stage name on it.

 

I find even this low level of asymmetric knowledge to be more than slightly unsettling as I am acutely conscious of boundaries and privacy. I don't want to invade your real life, even accidentally. You deserve your privacy, everyone does. On the other hand, you're a total stud, get stellar reviews, have a pleasing public persona, and seem genuinely nice in real life. I'd love to hire you...multiple times!...but the privacy issue gets in the way.

 

I know you're an adult. I know this is a on-going situation with you. I surmise that you're discreet...well, I hope so. I assume you've been hired locally, and are able to deal with chance meetings in "real life" with grace. Do you mind being hired by locals? Am I being totally silly? Perhaps I'm the one worried about being recognized.

 

As an escort, how do you handle clients who might, literally, be "the boy next door"?

I go to one of the top body building gyms in the country where I run into a lot of clients and I am cordial if they want to talk to me (most escorts are actually nice guys) or if they don't want to acknowledge me that's fine too. Part of our job is descretion, how we react to you in public is dependent on how you react to us. I like my clients and it's always nice to see them, if they will let me I will give them a hug.

 

I worked this past weekend at international mr leather and was delighted to have clients and forum members come up and talk to me.

 

The reality is if you see an escort more than once your going to start to find out personal information about them because it's a very close relationship. It sounds like you have a pretty good sense of boundaries so I don't think you have anything to worry about as far as crossing any lines. If you hire a local it might be worth asking, "if I see you out why should I do?"

[Mocha]

HEY NOW, native here!!!! Let's be careful when you talk about a city near and dear to my heart!!!

 

Gman

 

Fair enough. Actually I was just in Dallas this past month. It's growing a lot just like many cities are doing. It beats Nashville, But to me, it just feels played out. I have a friend there and when he moved to DallASS, he became one himself. It's become as competitive and cutthroat as L.A. And I've never seen such a heavy police presence in a gay village more so than my last visit to Dallas. Clearly there's too much going on there and a lot of trash filling it up. Fortunately for me, all close family members have relocated from there, most recently my brother to Ohio. So I won't have to be making any excuses to go there in the future.

[Rudynate]

 

The reality is if you see an escort more than once your going to start to find out personal information about them because it's a very close relationship. It sounds like you have a pretty good sense of boundaries so I don't think you have anything to worry about as far as crossing any lines. If you hire a local it might be worth asking, "if I see you out why should I do?"

 

Almost everybody I've ever hired, I have seen multiple times, because that's what I like. It does quickly get personal. I always book for multiple hours and I enjoy talking between rounds, so I tell them a lot about myself and they tell me a lot about themselves and it's just really enjoyable. At some point, almost all have told me their real names. I don't really care - in my mind, their name is their escort name and I don't want to deal with multiple names, but its a nice gesture of trust.

[LADoug1]

The only snag about running into an escort you've seen when you're with friends and they come to greet you is that one of your friends may also know he's an escort. That could pose a possible embarrassment later if you are discreet about hiring.

 

For me personally I wouldn't be uncomfortable running into an escort I've seen. I would hope they'd greet me. They're people not just "hires".

[mike carey]

The only snag about running into an escort you've seen when you're with friends and they come to greet you is that one of your friends may also know he's an escort.

One has to wonder why one of the friends you were with would know that the man was an escort: a judgmental bible basher or a fellow hirer, or at least afficianado of escorts? Of course, if you were married and the friend was single there is the potential for awkwardness! I would not be overly concerned, in most cases.

[Beancounter]

Fair enough. Actually I was just in Dallas this past month. It's growing a lot just like many cities are doing. It beats Nashville, But to me, it just feels played out. I have a friend there and when he moved to DallASS, he became one himself. It's become as competitive and cutthroat as L.A. And I've never seen such a heavy police presence in a gay village more so than my last visit to Dallas. Clearly there's too much going on there and a lot of trash filling it up. Fortunately for me, all close family members have relocated from there, most recently my brother to Ohio. So I won't have to be making any excuses to go there in the future.

 

The heavy police presence in the Oak Lawn area of Dallas is due to recent hate crime activity....18 crimes and counting. The gay community here is thankful for the increased police presence and is working closely with the police department to resolve the criminal activity.

 

And, Mocha...you're partially right about a lot of trash filling up Dallas. We here in Dallas are glad to know you don't have any more excuses to come here since your family has relocated. That will help us address our trash problem here in Dallas. Glad to know there's no trash in Los Angeles and that we are better off than Nashville. So reassuring.

[Epigonos]

There is only one way to guarantee total anonymity – DO NOT HIRE. I’m not publically out although anybody with half a brain would know I’m gay. I taught in a public high school for 35+ years and if it had become know that I hired escorts I might have lost my teaching position and my pension. I wasn’t willing to take that chance thus I DID NOT HIRE. That problem doesn’t exist now that I’m retired thus I HIRE. Now if I get outed I would be embarrassed and might lose some “friends” but my life would not be ruined thus I HIRE.

 

I don’t care what precautions one takes; burner phones, postal money orders, noms de porn, etc., etc. there is absolutely no way to TOTALLY guarantee that one won’t be outed. I have ALWAYS believed that if what I do in private would destroy my life if it became public then I damn well better not be doing it.

[+ TheBigO]

For me personally I wouldn't be uncomfortable running into an escort I've seen. I would hope they'd greet me. They're people not just "hires".

 

Agreed. No one needs to know the how or why of knowing someone, but they can meet my friend/person I know. When pushed, I say, he is a friend of a friend (as oppose to he is the dude I turn to when I need a some quality me time away from all the drama you and others create.)

[LADoug1]

Agreed. No one needs to know the how or why of knowing someone, but they can meet my friend/person I know. When pushed, I say, he is a friend of a friend (as oppose to he is the dude I turn to when I need a some quality me time away from all the drama you and others create.)

Lol. Good one!

[wklucas]

Since I've been escorting I've lived in 5 different cities.

 

& you've had to change your name about 25 times to dupe / rein in the unsuspecting too.

[LaffingBear]

I cant relate to this concern.

 

Why would someone care about recognizing an escort from ads in public, when they'd never interacted? Or, even if they had?

 

I've hung out with and conversed, dined with, given rides to, porn actors/escorts appearing at NobHill Theatre in SF. I follow three guys I've seen as escorts on Twitter, and we private message. One is no longer escorting. I noticed a guy's well-filled jeans on the street in front of my workplace, realized it was an escort I'd hired, and called out his name to say hello - alas, headphones on, and walking very fast, I didnt get his attention.

 

Ive seen escorts and porn actors at the gym. I saw Steven Kesslar on Castro Street. They dont know me... why would that affect me?

 

My 72-year old straight neighbor and I frequent a local, suburban, sports bar. I've opened Grindr, shown it to my neighbor, saying "look, this says the guy is 75 feet away. What do you think would happen if I found him and held up my phone asking, 'is this you?'" We laugh, I've never done it, but that might be awkward.

[Maximus69]

I have a regular that lives literally 6/7 blocks away from me and I have never seen him walking the streets but then I saw one of my regulars on the train one day and he lives 5 miles away from me. How on earth does that happen lol.

[Chuckball]

I understand the position originally posed by @greatnorthernp in worrying about his personal privacy. I also know of two Toronto escorts who have preferred not to disclose their real names. Somehow both individuals came up as potential friends on my Facebook page. Through that means I learned their real names. I alerted them that their privacy had been breached. I believe my discretion has deepened the friendship with both individuals. As long as they know that I will not broadcast their real names, no harm or embarrassment resulted.

[+ Tarte Gogo]

Somehow both individuals came up as potential friends on my Facebook page.

 

This is because Facebook knows their email address, or their phone number, and on your phone Facebook works with your contact list or even your emails / text messages to find more of your "friends", if you let it do so.

[BaronArtz]

Its why I haven't and won't hire a certain porn star/escort that goes to my gym (besides the fact my money is being saved for my road trip hire). The funny thing is, we've been going to the same gym for months and I had no idea who he was until someone posted a 411 on him here right when I joined. Until then, I just thought he was random gym hottie #7895.

 

I feel for the guy, he needs the business, probably, as he's young and new to escorting. And damnit if it isn't tempting, but...it would just be too awkward. I've seen him previously, I know he's seen me previously. It just wouldn't be right.

 

You seem to be a really nice and considerate person. And you go to a gym so you must be in good shape. Perhaps the pornstar/escort has been thinking ... jeez, if only all my clients were like him. If you are attracted to him, go for it.

[Jay DC]

I ran into an escort I had hired a few times while visiting NYC. Funny thing was that I ran into him in front of Target in Washington DC, five blocks from my home. So no matter how hard you try to be discrete and careful, you never know when or where you might run into someone. He recognized me immediately, but let me make the first move to say hello. Had I passed by him without acknowledging him, he would have been fine. But it was nice to say hello.

[Samfoslom]

Here's a "small world" story--

There are usually not many local providers in my second-tier town, but some years ago, while I was going over the handful of providers listed on RM, a newly posted ad appeared for a hot mid-20's guy with great, sexy pictures and write-up. He listed himself as a local, not the usual pass-through on a circuit, another plus since that would mean the potential for a regular if everything clicked. I exchanged some emails with him via the RM website, to get more particulars about any block rate, availability, likes in the bedroom, etc. I didn't get as far as setting up anything, because---

 

He provided me with his cell phone number for further contact, and I googled it. I often do to see what other ads the provider may have put up on other websites or in other cities. This is one way I confirm for myself that the provider is bona fide. To my surprise, my search hits included the a company name and the escort's real name. Here's the small world part---

 

The company was an old employer of mine. Putting the pieces together, I came to understand that the guy had recently worked there a few years after I had, at the same position level. Therefore, we would certainly know common colleagues, since his position meant that he had worked with the same 10-odd group members that I had worked with. Indeed, his old boss had to have been my old boss.

 

As I mentioned, the guy was very hot with a terrific profile, and there was a kind of momentary thrill thinking about having the chance to rip the pants off a hot, young, once-removed, suit and tie colleague and doing the nasty! But after another moment, I realized this would be playing with fire. I didn't make any more contact--- the potential for any of that group to know that he was or had acted as a escort, or I had ever hire an escort, was just too potentially explosive to chance it. I never mentioned anything to him about making the realization, nor would I to anyone. The ad disappeared after a number of weeks ...