Hiring local talent

[greatnorthernp]

The issue of personal privacy and identity came up in another topic, prompting a realization on my part: I almost never hire "local talent" because there's a distinct chance that our paths will cross in "real life". I have already encountered local talent which I haven't hired in banks, bars, restaurants, grocery stores, the public library, and on the streets. Not so long ago, one of you lived so close to me that I could have estimated the average number of in calls you had a week. Once, one of you and your friends sat right next to me in a restaurant--close enough that I learned your real name, that you were a new uncle, and that you really wanted to bed one of the trainers at your gym. (So did I. Smoking hot! Thankfully, I never encountered you at our gym.) You, needless to say, had no idea who I was. I was just anonymous daily face #7895 to you, but you couldn't have been more obvious to me had you worn a placard with your stage name on it.

 

I find even this low level of asymmetric knowledge to be more than slightly unsettling as I am acutely conscious of boundaries and privacy. I don't want to invade your real life, even accidentally. You deserve your privacy, everyone does. On the other hand, you're a total stud, get stellar reviews, have a pleasing public persona, and seem genuinely nice in real life. I'd love to hire you...multiple times!...but the privacy issue gets in the way.

 

I know you're an adult. I know this is a on-going situation with you. I surmise that you're discreet...well, I hope so. I assume you've been hired locally, and are able to deal with chance meetings in "real life" with grace. Do you mind being hired by locals? Am I being totally silly? Perhaps I'm the one worried about being recognized.

 

As an escort, how do you handle clients who might, literally, be "the boy next door"?

[+ Eric Hassan]

The issue of personal privacy and identity came up in another topic, prompting a realization on my part: I almost never hire "local talent" because there's a distinct chance that our paths will cross in "real life". I have already encountered local talent which I haven't hired in banks, bars, restaurants, grocery stores, the public library, and on the streets. Not so long ago, one of you lived so close to me that I could have estimated the average number of in calls you had a week. Once, one of you and your friends sat right next to me in a restaurant--close enough that I learned your real name, that you were a new uncle, and that you really wanted to bed one of the trainers at your gym. (So did I. Smoking hot! Thankfully, I never encountered you at our gym.) You, needless to say, had no idea who I was. I was just anonymous daily face #7895 to you, but you couldn't have been more obvious to me had you worn a placard with your stage name on it.

 

I find even this low level of asymmetric knowledge to be more than slightly unsettling as I am acutely conscious of boundaries and privacy. I don't want to invade your real life, even accidentally. You deserve your privacy, everyone does. On the other hand, you're a total stud, get stellar reviews, have a pleasing public persona, and seem genuinely nice in real life. I'd love to hire you...multiple times!...but the privacy issue gets in the way.

 

I know you're an adult. I know this is a on-going situation with you. I surmise that you're discreet...well, I hope so. I assume you've been hired locally, and are able to deal with chance meetings in "real life" with grace. Do you mind being hired by locals? Am I being totally silly? Perhaps I'm the one worried about being recognized.

 

As an escort, how do you handle clients who might, literally, be "the boy next door"?

 

Good question. I'm willing to bet the escort knew exactly what was going on, and had the discretion to act as if you were just random face #7895.

 

I live in Chelsea in NYC. I have an ad on Rentmen and my own porn site, in addition to work I've done with TIM, so my cock and face and sexual style and preferences are all out there. I do like my privacy, and being in a big city affords me some privacy, but honestly, it's a small gay world, and sooner or later people are going to figure out who I am and put my professional and personal life together. Perhaps this matters less to me than some - my partner, family and friends all know what I do - but I think having a "privacy breach" is a risk inherent with the job.

 

You may be afraid of being recognized. You may be afraid of finding out something you don't like about the escort. Doesn't matter - that's all fear - and you can either abide by it and hide out, or take a chance.

[mike carey]

Eric, I read what the OP said as that he encountered an escort whom he had never hired or even engaged with, but whom he recognised from his advertising, so he actually was random face #7895. If that is the case, his discomfort comes from knowing that someone who is otherwise a random stranger is an escort. As a somewhat nervous and private guy, I would find his situation a little discombobulating, and I doubt I could start hiring that escort as it would feel a bit creepy. If I had hired him and then, due to small town dynamics, I found out more about him, I'd feel reasonably confident dealing with that: don't talk about it and if you meet in public take your cues from him.

 

That said, if it is the imbalance that is the worry, maybe the best way is to hire the guy and (without saying everything you know) let the professional relationship and the collateral effects of living in the same community work themselves out.

[+ Truereview]

Eric nailed it! You are not silly, @greatnorthernp! The worry, the imbalance (as Mike calls it) is all normal. You are just experiencing trepidation and perhaps it is based on deeper fears that we all have in one way or another. I can't tell you what to do, except to communicate with your companion and be vulnerable about the worries you have. If your companion is indeed the adult you see in him, he will most likely make an emotional contract with you that will honor the professional sanctity and privacy of your arrangement when out in public.

 

when I start going down the road of overanalyzing things (even when my fear is well-founded) I read this quote:

 

http://myfbcovers.com/uploads/covers/2011/10/13/db2c7670d7f5012ee2ca7f93b3e77c75/watermarked_cover.png

 

PS - what are you waiting for? Hire the escort and see if you both can convince the trainer at the gym to join you?

[+ poolboy48220]

This has never really bothered me. It may be a smaller issue in detroit because there's not a lot of local talent, and there's not as much of a centralized gay community as in other cities. But...I saw a couple friends put up a massage ad, and ended up hiring them. I've run into guys I've hired at both bars & parties and it's never been weird; both of us made no reference to hiring. And I chatted with a guy at the bar that LOOKED like a local advertising guy, one that I hadn't contacted; I didn't say anything because we were in a group. If we'd been alone, I probably would have asked "Hey, are you <escortname>?", as I was somewhat interested in hiring him.

[CompleteNewbie]

Its why I haven't and won't hire a certain porn star/escort that goes to my gym (besides the fact my money is being saved for my road trip hire). The funny thing is, we've been going to the same gym for months and I had no idea who he was until someone posted a 411 on him here right when I joined. Until then, I just thought he was random gym hottie #7895.

 

I feel for the guy, he needs the business, probably, as he's young and new to escorting. And damnit if it isn't tempting, but...it would just be too awkward. I've seen him previously, I know he's seen me previously. It just wouldn't be right.

[+ WmClarke]

Its why I haven't and won't hire a certain porn star/escort that goes to my gym (besides the fact my money is being saved for my road trip hire). The funny thing is, we've been going to the same gym for months and I had no idea who he was until someone posted a 411 on him here right when I joined. Until then, I just thought he was random gym hottie #7895.

 

I feel for the guy, he needs the business, probably, as he's young and new to escorting. And damnit if it isn't tempting, but...it would just be too awkward. I've seen him previously, I know he's seen me previously. It just wouldn't be right.

Go for it. If he's professional it won't be awkward at all.

[marylander1940]

The issue of personal privacy and identity came up in another topic, prompting a realization on my part: I almost never hire "local talent" because there's a distinct chance that our paths will cross in "real life". I have already encountered local talent which I haven't hired in banks, bars, restaurants, grocery stores, the public library, and on the streets. Not so long ago, one of you lived so close to me that I could have estimated the average number of in calls you had a week. Once, one of you and your friends sat right next to me in a restaurant--close enough that I learned your real name, that you were a new uncle, and that you really wanted to bed one of the trainers at your gym. (So did I. Smoking hot! Thankfully, I never encountered you at our gym.) You, needless to say, had no idea who I was. I was just anonymous daily face #7895 to you, but you couldn't have been more obvious to me had you worn a placard with your stage name on it...

 

Even though the DC area has close to 3 million people... I know visiting escorts who get hired because they're not local, but that's understandable in this town where everybody thing he's important and well-known.

 

I'm sure you don't want to say where do you live, but how big/small is your city?

 

I understand someone being afraid of hiring local in Kansas City, Minneapolis, Saint Louis, etc but in Chicago or LA I doubt it.

 

Its why I haven't and won't hire a certain porn star/escort that goes to my gym (besides the fact my money is being saved for my road trip hire). The funny thing is, we've been going to the same gym for months and I had no idea who he was until someone posted a 411 on him here right when I joined. Until then, I just thought he was random gym hottie #7895.

 

I feel for the guy, he needs the business, probably, as he's young and new to escorting. And damnit if it isn't tempting, but...it would just be too awkward. I've seen him previously, I know he's seen me previously. It just wouldn't be right.

 

Considering he's a pornstar would you like to promote him on here with a review or telling us his name? I could start a thread about him in the gallery if I find enough pics.

[Gar1eth]

The issue of personal privacy and identity came up in another topic, prompting a realization on my part: I almost never hire "local talent" because there's a distinct chance that our paths will cross in "real life". I have already encountered local talent which I haven't hired in banks, bars, restaurants, grocery stores, the public library, and on the streets. Not so long ago, one of you lived so close to me that I could have estimated the average number of in calls you had a week. Once, one of you and your friends sat right next to me in a restaurant--close enough that I learned your real name, that you were a new uncle, and that you really wanted to bed one of the trainers at your gym. (So did I. Smoking hot! Thankfully, I never encountered you at our gym.) You, needless to say, had no idea who I was. I was just anonymous daily face #7895 to you, but you couldn't have been more obvious to me had you worn a placard with your stage name on it.

 

I find even this low level of asymmetric knowledge to be more than slightly unsettling as I am acutely conscious of boundaries and privacy. I don't want to invade your real life, even accidentally. You deserve your privacy, everyone does. On the other hand, you're a total stud, get stellar reviews, have a pleasing public persona, and seem genuinely nice in real life. I'd love to hire you...multiple times!...but the privacy issue gets in the way.

 

I know you're an adult. I know this is a on-going situation with you. I surmise that you're discreet...well, I hope so. I assume you've been hired locally, and are able to deal with chance meetings in "real life" with grace. Do you mind being hired by locals? Am I being totally silly? Perhaps I'm the one worried about being recognized.

 

As an escort, how do you handle clients who might, literally, be "the boy next door"?

 

While I'm not totally out as gay, as long as everyone understands boundaries, I don't understand the problem. While I probably wouldn't like it if a guy I had hired threw himself onto me and covered me with kisses in public, I would have no problems with them saying hello. And I would hope they wouldn't mind if said hello to them. The only problems being is if we didn't know each other's actual names. And even then in many cases even if we saw each other fairly regularly, I could see how it's possible the escort might not recognize you in public, or if he did, him not remembering either your alias that you gave him or your actual name if you had revealed that to him. Much like a doctor or dentist often can't remember patient names/circumstances outside the office.

 

Currently I'm 'friends' on Facebook with 10 former escorts and 2 that are still escorting. I've interacted with most of them on Facebook at one time or other without ever giving away how I know them. In fact one of the escorts told me I was his only Facebook friend from that part of his life. It's no big deal as long as everyone understands reasonable boundaries.

 

Gman

[Maximus69]

@greatnorthernp I would say maybe its better to not tell the escort that your hiring that you know so much about him and you know where he goes to eat, hangs out etc. It may cause the relationship to be rocky before it even started, the escort may get freaked out or paranoid. But if you get to know the escort and form a bond and have seen him for a while you can drop that knowledge then I'm sure you two will get a laugh from it. There was one instance where someone I was on riding the same train with messaged me on rentmen and said he saw me on the train once lol. I always feel like people know I'm an escort at the gym i go too, then again its a gym with a heavy gay population so who knows

[greatnorthernp]

The general consensus seems to be "You're adults. He's a professional. You're discreet. Go for it.". Which is exactly what my cock keeps telling me. However, if I listened to my cock all the time...

 

Excellent advice, gentlemen. Thank you.

 

Just to put this into a municipal context, I live in the fifth largest city in North America. At 2.6ish million people, Toronto isn't a small place at all, but it's strange how much like a village it seems at times. It's also a destination for many travelling escorts, so I am presented with a lot of variety. On the other hand, there is some steamy-hot local talent of which would be nice to make an acquaintance.

 

Other than visitors, I also travel to Montreal frequently. Which has its charms too.

[Seymour Butts]

I was on a trip once and hired a lovely man. Afterwards we were making chit chat and he started talking about how much he loves a certain restaurant. Unbeknownst to him (we were at his apartment), the restaurant was on the next block from where I was staying.

 

That evening I thought I'd try it, and yes the food was delicious. But guess who walks in in the middle of dinner? Yep. But here's the thing, and what really put him onto my A List: he didn't avoid me, he didn't act like I was Face #8723, he came over to me and started talking: "I told you this place is good" and the like. I was floored, I'd never have expected such personable kindness. I felt really, really good that he did that.

 

So, to answer your question, yes, you might run into him again in a different context, but to me, the best escorts will treat it as if running into a friend, and it will be a positive encounter.

[Gar1eth]

I think I've only ever run into two escorts out in public. Once I was traveling back to Seatac from either LAX or SFO. As I was walking back to my seat in steerage, I saw a guy that I could have sworn was Adam Faust (G-d rest his soul)-IIRC either in 1st class or much closer to 1st class than I was. I was quite excited. I had always been interested in him because I love gingers. But alas he always advertised as a top and seemed mainly into heavy kink both of which were and are not my cup of tea.

 

I think I might have inquired of him prior to this sighting whether he would consider vanilla and bottoming. But I can't remember if he said he might be willing and I just wasn't sure of him or whether he gave me a flat out no.

 

I was so excited though to see someone I was sure was Adam that I pulled out my trusty iPhone once I got to my seat, looked up his ad/phone number (most likely on the dear departed RB), and texted him to ask whether he was currently on a flight to Seattle. He replied in the affirmative. I did go up to him after we arrived in baggage claim. We had a bit of a conversation. He told me to lower my voice. I don't think I was yelling or anything but sometimes my voice carries:confused:.

 

The other time was in Plano, Texas at a Chili's about 9 years ago. I saw a minor porn star eating with a big bear type guy. I can't remember his name right now. He advertised for years on M4RN-shaved head, muscular, pierced nips, into kink in his movies (which again I'm not). For those of you in the Dallas area or familiar with it, he also used to work regularly at the Dallas Eagle-not in his porn persona but as a bartender. I didn't go up to him at all as I was with about 8 family members-my parents, brother/brother's wife, sister, a few nieces, and a nephew. I had always been on the fence about hiring him. I thought he was handsome, but the kink and piercings did put me off. But I did hire him shortly after that-possibly that same evening. When I asked if he had been at the Chili's, he said "yes". He said something like he had been eating either with his 'Daddy' or 'his old man'. So at least I knew he seemed to like larger guys.

 

Gman

[Beancounter]

I find myself with a preference for out-of-town guys over local guys and it's not because I might run into them out and about in public. That's really the least of my concerns. What I have found is that the quality of the out-of-town guys is far superior to the local pool of guys. I live in the Dallas-Ft. Worth Metroplex, a metropolitan area of near 6.5 million people. The area certainly has its fair share of both local and traveling guys. Don't get me wrong. There are several local guys I would love to meet up with. However, the last two times I attempted to hire locally this is what I received in the way of text messages:

 

Guy #1 -

 

1. Yes, I'm available. Just let me know when and where. Thanks.

2 My apologies, something came up and I will not be available after all tonight. Sorry and hope we can reschedule soon.

 

Two weeks later:

 

3. Are you still interested in meeting?

 

Uhh! No, I'm not.

 

 

Guy #2

 

Early in the week I had sent an email asking about time availability for Thursday, Friday or Saturday. I asked that if he did have time availability on any of those days that he could choose the time most convenient for him and that I would put it on my calendar. Here's his response:

 

"Varies from day to day. i don't usually set anything in stone that's 2b scheduled later than today" (typos included for emphasis)

 

I've since come to find out this guy is iffy at best so I guess I dodged a bullet with this one.

 

The other thing I notice about some of the local DFW talent is that many of the ads appear for a very short time and then go away. Many of these types of ads are from the local dick dancers here in town who need money for who knows what (you can fill in the blank) or there are other guys who just post an ad hoping for a couple of hits so they can pay their phone bill at the end of the month. I actually know a guy that does this.....he's short at the end of the month and tricks out to pay his phone bill on electric bill. His ads only appear when he's short on cash. More power to him but again quality usually suffers with these types of individuals.

 

I guess what I've discovered is that traveling escorts are here for one reason and that's to provide a $ervice that locals tend to take for granted. Almost without fail those who travel to DFW are more professional and less flaky (surely there's a better way to describe the situation than "less flaky" but it escapes me right now). LOL. Enough of my two cents on this subject. I hope everyone has a great day.

[TruHart1]

As for locals in my small city, there are hardly any at all. There was one who had his ad on M4RN a few years ago who was/is a personal trainer locally and though I was tempted, I ended up saving my money for various visiting guys. He no longer has an ad but I do see him out and about at times. Another local has a couple of great reviews on Daddy's but just as with the first, I tend to save up for the guys who return periodically to the area, with whom I know from previous hiring that I will have a wonderful repeat experience.

 

I don't really worry about running into an escort I've hired on the street. I have no problem saying hi if they approach me or, if they are more private and with their friends/family I know to show no recognition if I see them.

 

TruHart1

[+ purplekow]

I had a situation in which I hired a man through an agency. I was sent a faceless picture and was assured by the agency rep that the man was very handsome. And so it was that he was very handsome and also very much the best friend of one of my former employees.

After some initial awkwardness, I decided to go ahead with a hire and have seen him numerous times since. He has run into people he knows when we have had dinner together but he just introduces me as a friend. One person began asking more intense questions and he told them the truth, that we had met when his friend worked for me.

So, it may initially be a bit awkward but it may work out fine if you are both reasonable about it.

[+ Keith30309]

I've only seen one companion in public - a guy who I tried to hire once but he only seemed to work sporadically. He is a waiter at a restaurant I frequent and we've seen each other often enough there to be on "smile and nod" terms. If anything I'm more inclined to hire him should his ad reappear because he has a great personality. That said, I would be worried that HE might find it awkward or worrisome.

[Gar1eth]

I had a situation in which I hired a man through an agency. I was sent a faceless picture and was assured by the agency rep that the man was very handsome. And so it was that he was very handsome and also very much the best friend of one of my former employees.

After some initial awkwardness, I decided to go ahead with a hire and have seen him numerous times since. He has run into people he knows when we have had dinner together but he just introduces me as a friend. One person began asking more intense questions and he told them the truth, that we had met when his friend worked for me.

So, it may initially be a bit awkward but it may work out fine if you are both reasonable about it.

 

Do you think he told your former employee?

 

Gman

[+ purplekow]

Do you think he told your former employee?

 

Gman

The escort is ostensibly straight but in fact has slept with the wife of the former employee. I have no idea if he has mentioned me to her or to the ex=employee who now lives across the country. I would rather that he keep this information to himself, but I am not concerned if he does not.

[LivingnLA]

I would never hire close to my area because I can't risk ever running into an escort in public while I'm out and about with people from my personal or work life. One thing that's great about southern California, is that I have LA, OC, and SD to chose from. While my luck with my first escort was terrible. I remain optimistic that I will find a good guy for my second attempt.

[Rudynate]

It's not an issue for me, but then I live in San Francisco. I would be comfortable with a previous hire approaching me and saying "hi." If I had to explain afterwards, I would say something like, "Oh, he's a friend." In just the last few days, I have seen several men on the street that I recognize as escorts from their advertising. One, who I would very much like to spend time with, I went up and introduced myself to. We chatted for a couple of minutes and I promised to call him. He gave me a hug and a kiss.

[Mocha]

Do you mind being hired by locals? Am I being totally silly? Perhaps I'm the one worried about being recognized.

 

As an escort, how do you handle clients who might, literally, be "the boy next door"?

 

You sound totally silly and insecure. Sorry to break it to you that way.

 

I don't know who "you" you were referring to, but it sounds like you're referring to a prosititute on the corner rather than someone you'd hire multiple times. I feel kinda offended and I'm not even the person in question lol.

 

If every local client felt the same way, which I wouldn't doubt in today's still semi-closeted openly gay society, escorts can forget about signing a lease anywhere and just live as vagrants traveling every month for many days at a time, because after all...local clients wouldn't want to be the "regular" or bread and butter like most normal businesses depend on.

 

FYI, the ONLY time I've run into clients have been at nightclubs. Unless you both live in a gay village of sorts, that's Powerball odds of finding you out of thousands seems slim.

 

I would also look at how long does the average local escort stay local. Since I've been escorting I've lived in 5 different cities. Many of those have been for a year or 2 at the most with the exception of one of five years. Hopefully my 6th city this year after I figure out how to get the FUCK out of my current state.

[Mocha]

Dallas sucks, no secret about it.

 

As for Guy 1, paragraph #2, thats an oft heard phrase...

 

 

I find myself with a preference for out-of-town guys over local guys and it's not because I might run into them out and about in public. That's really the least of my concerns. What I have found is that the quality of the out-of-town guys is far superior to the local pool of guys. I live in the Dallas-Ft. Worth Metroplex, a metropolitan area of near 6.5 million people. The area certainly has its fair share of both local and traveling guys. Don't get me wrong. There are several local guys I would love to meet up with. However, the last two times I attempted to hire locally this is what I received in the way of text messages:

 

Guy #1 -

 

1. Yes, I'm available. Just let me know when and where. Thanks.

2 My apologies, something came up and I will not be available after all tonight. Sorry and hope we can reschedule soon.

 

Two weeks later:

 

3. Are you still interested in meeting?

 

Uhh! No, I'm not.

 

 

Guy #2

 

Early in the week I had sent an email asking about time availability for Thursday, Friday or Saturday. I asked that if he did have time availability on any of those days that he could choose the time most convenient for him and that I would put it on my calendar. Here's his response:

 

"Varies from day to day. i don't usually set anything in stone that's 2b scheduled later than today" (typos included for emphasis)

 

I've since come to find out this guy is iffy at best so I guess I dodged a bullet with this one.

 

The other thing I notice about some of the local DFW talent is that many of the ads appear for a very short time and then go away. Many of these types of ads are from the local dick dancers here in town who need money for who knows what (you can fill in the blank) or there are other guys who just post an ad hoping for a couple of hits so they can pay their phone bill at the end of the month. I actually know a guy that does this.....he's short at the end of the month and tricks out to pay his phone bill on electric bill. His ads only appear when he's short on cash. More power to him but again quality usually suffers with these types of individuals.

 

I guess what I've discovered is that traveling escorts are here for one reason and that's to provide a $ervice that locals tend to take for granted. Almost without fail those who travel to DFW are more professional and less flaky (surely there's a better way to describe the situation than "less flaky" but it escapes me right now). LOL. Enough of my two cents on this subject. I hope everyone has a great day.

[Gar1eth]

Dallas sucks, no secret about it.

 

HEY NOW, native here!!!! Let's be careful when you talk about a city near and dear to my heart!!!

 

Gman

[Beancounter]

Dallas sucks, no secret about it.

 

As for Guy 1, paragraph #2, thats an oft heard phrase...

 

HEY NOW, native here!!!! Let's be careful when you talk about a city near and dear to my heart!!!

 

Gman

 

Gman....I live in Dallas too. Maybe he was referring to the great cocksuckers we have here in Big D. . I personally have had some great bjs in Dallas. Surely he wasn't talking about Dallitude.