Requesting to prepare for bottoming

[keithhardy]

Hello men! Lately I have been topping a lot more over bottoming, I have run into occasions where the bottom has not "cleaned out" or prepared to bottom. My first question is when this happens whats everyones take on continuing to top? Is it acceptable and reasonable for the guy to want you to continue? Second; when they tell you they are a bttm and sets an appointment whats everyones take on politely asking them to make sure they are prepared to bottom. Does anyone currently do this? I have not. If the guy meets you again after this experience is it ok to ask them to make sure they are ready to bottom? Trust me I know "shit" happens, even when one has don't everything to prepare and nothing can be done about that and of course we all deal with that as it comes. I find most bottoms that prepared and this happens to don't want you to continue to top anyway. This is more about those that you know didn't prepare. I know a shitty topic, literally!!

[+ nycman]

As you said, shit happens.

 

As a life long top, who has a pretty strong aversion to shit, I politely suggest that we hit the showers

and soon as I see/smell shit. If you're a cock whore who wants to keep getting your dirty ass pounded

....this at least makes it palatable enough for me to keep an erection. Even in that scenario, I try to

finish off pretty rapidly.

 

The only two things that really turn me off are....guys who FREAK OUT about it...and the other extreme,

guys who basically want to shit all over you and act like it's normal. There's a polite balance in there

somewhere.

 

When I hire, I've rarely had a problem. There was one time when a HUGE muscle bottom totally

lost his cool when he thought he got shit on my sheets. He was soooo upset. He ran into the bathroom

humiliated and I thought he was going to start crying. Thankfully, I realized that the "skid mark" in question,

exactly matched to new tattoo on his ass. The ink from the new tattoo had bled onto the sheets....we had a

great laugh and then got back to fucking.

[big-n-tall]

To be blunt, it depends on how bad the mess is and how much I'm in to the bottom. If it's minor, no severely bad odor, if the bottom goes cleans up... we can keep going.

 

I have met a top, who only a bottomed a few times (before we met) in his entire life. He for whatever reason likes me a lot so he is willing to bottom for me. I've been teaching him everything from ways of cleaning out, to preparing to bottom, and using toys to open up. Although there hasn't been a huge mess, there has been a little a few times. He jumped up and cleaned up. I made sure I was good. Then we opened another condom and went at it each time. I'm ok with it because not only do i find him insanely sexy, he has kind of given me the gift of his ass. So I can deal with the possible mess with him. If the guy cleans up and you aren't turned off, I say continue.

 

It's tricky situation asking someone (you just met) to be sure they are clean, but it's probably best to be straight forward and polite about it. If you've seen the guy more than once, definitely say something. For the most part, I haven't had to ask about cleanliness. Although sometimes shit will still happen, even after a good cleaning.

 

Now with that said... I can't wait for you to bottom for me.

[down_to_business]

Refer them to the Squatty Potty! What an unpleasant but serious topic. I am no Oprah of Anal but here is my take, and how YOU handle it is going to separate you from the rest or the best.

 

As to right then and there

 

1) The bottom is more than likely totally mortified at this point. I would probably try to be as kind and nonjudgmental as possible(i.e. your shit happens), and politely suggest that we take a quick break for now, get cleaned up and see if the client would like to try again.

2) He probably doesn't want to continue but doesn't have a clue what to do or how to gracefully stop at this point anyhow.

 

To the question of preparedness:

 

You could feel out the bottom and see if they know about proper hygiene, but unless you can tell for certain the difference between an accident and unprepared then pre-discussions could be a tricky topic to initiate. After an incident, I guess you could offer and see if the client might want to talk about it or would like to get some suggestions for cleaning out.

 

I know I learned some things about cleaning out from this message board, like using water instead of the harsh chemicals that were inside fleet enemas that were drying me out bad and making bottoming really unpleasant for me.

[Nvr2Thick]

As a client and exclusively a bottom:

 

1) If it is noticeable: if the top or I are in any way aware of the situation through physical sensation or odor it's time to stop. A couple times at an escort's urging I've tried to clean up a bit in the shower and pick up where we left off.

 

2) In planning dozens of encounters with top escorts I've never been asked about prepping to bottom, no matter how explicit the planning has been. I wouldn't be offended if anyone asked. Maybe it's apparent to everyone that I "know the drill."

[keithhardy]

As a client and exclusively a bottom:

 

1) If it is noticeable: if the top or I are in any way aware of the situation through physical sensation or odor it's time to stop. A couple times at an escort's urging I've tried to clean up a bit in the shower and pick up where we left off.

 

2) In planning dozens of encounters with top escorts I've never been asked about prepping to bottom, no matter how explicit the planning has been. I wouldn't be offended if anyone asked. Maybe it's apparent to everyone that I "know the drill."

I have myself asked to continue after it has happened and its been cleaned up, I have had situations were the bttm finds nothing wrong with the smell or mess and just wants to keep going......that as many know is easier said then done.

 

I have had clients ask me to please be prepared and I find no issue with it, as I will be anyway. I also do tend to ask if I will be bottoming so I come prepared, I tend not to like to clean out for no reason, doing it too frequently can cause issues. I take pride in being clean down there and eve shit has happened to me on occasion, but I NEVER bttm without prepping first. I do agree that most guys don't ask about it because it usually a given, for some however it isn't. Its pretty easy to tell who has at least tried to prepare and who hasn't at all.

[Maximus69]

Hey Keith when a client calls you to top, maybe you should speak up a little and say something along the lines before the meeting and say" if you need extra time to douche or get ready thats no problem by me"... I don't know something to give them a little reminder but doing it in a nice way.

 

I know some people don't like to douche as its a nuisance for them. However for ME I would rather spend more time making sure Im ready than to get fucked and the situation happening. If I haven't douched I will not get fucked and I think clients will appreciate that. The smell is a major erection killer, I know Ive topped many times before

 

By now Im pretty much an expert it takes me 10 minutes to douche. Just squirt the fleet leave it in for 20-30 seconds. Do it 2-3 times until water is clear and remember to squirt all the excess water left. You can use a dildo afterwards to make sure ur all clean for extra confidence.

[keithhardy]

As you said, shit happens.

 

As a life long top, who has a pretty strong aversion to shit, I politely suggest that we hit the showers

and soon as I see/smell shit. If you're a cock whore who wants to keep getting your dirty ass pounded

....this at least makes it palatable enough for me to keep an erection. Even in that scenario, I try to

finish off pretty rapidly.

 

The only two things that really turn me off are....guys who FREAK OUT about it...and the other extreme,

guys who basically want to shit all over you and act like it's normal. There's a polite balance in there

somewhere.

 

When I hire, I've rarely had a problem. There was one time when a HUGE muscle bottom totally

lost his cool when he thought he got shit on my sheets. He was soooo upset. He ran into the bathroom

humiliated and I thought he was going to start crying. Thankfully, I realized that the "skid mark" in question,

exactly matched to new tattoo on his ass. The ink from the new tattoo had bled onto the sheets....we had a

great laugh and then got back to fucking.

I agree with you on the freaking out part, as we are fucking a hole where is bound to happen here and there!!! My issue and this post relates to those that think its normal for shit to be all over and to wipe it off and keep going!!!

[keithhardy]

Hey Keith when a client calls you to top, maybe you should speak up a little and say something along the lines before the meeting if you need extra time to douche or get ready thats no problem by me... I don't know something to give them a little reminder but doing it in a nice way.

 

I know some people don't like to douche as its a nuisance for them. However for ME I would rather spend more time making sure Im ready than to get fucked and the situation happening. The smell is a major erection killer, I know Ive topped many times before

 

By now Im pretty much an expert it takes me 10 minutes to douche. Just squirt the fleet leave it in for 20-30 seconds. Do it 2-3 times until water is clear and remember to squirt all the excess water left. You can use a dildo afterwards to make sure ur all clean for extra confidence.

Good advice!! My best friend is the hose and douche I have hooked up to my shower! Are you using the fleet chemicals? If so you may want to consider dumping it out and using plain water, those chemical are really harsh to use over and over again and water accomplishes the same thing.

[keithhardy]

Refer them to the Squatty Potty! What an unpleasant but serious topic. I am no Oprah of Anal but here is my take, and how YOU handle it is going to separate you from the rest or the best.

 

As to right then and there

 

1) The bottom is more than likely totally mortified at this point. I would probably try to be as kind and nonjudgmental as possible(i.e. your shit happens), and politely suggest that we take a quick break for now, get cleaned up and see if the client would like to try again.

2) He probably doesn't want to continue but doesn't have a clue what to do or how to gracefully stop at this point anyhow.

 

To the question of preparedness:

 

You could feel out the bottom and see if they know about proper hygiene, but unless you can tell for certain the difference between an accident and unprepared then pre-discussions could be a tricky topic to initiate. After an incident, I guess you could offer and see if the client might want to talk about it or would like to get some suggestions for cleaning out.

 

I know I learned some things about cleaning out from this message board, like using water instead of the harsh chemicals that were inside fleet enemas that were drying me out bad and making bottoming really unpleasant for me.

Agree that this is a sensitive and embarrassing issue when it happens, and trust me I know its happened to me! The struggle becomes when the bottom doesn't see it as an issue and wants you to keep pounding away....

[Maximus69]

Good advice!! My best friend is the hose and douche I have hooked up to my shower! Are you using the fleet chemicals? If so you may want to consider dumping it out and using plain water, those chemical are really harsh to use over and over again and water accomplishes the same thing.

 

I reuse my fleet with plain water after buying them

Now that you say you have a hose and douche in your shower, you can always tell them before the bottoming that you have no problem with them using it, i think they'll get the point

[keithhardy]

To be blunt, it depends on how bad the mess is and how much I'm in to the bottom. If it's minor, no severely bad odor, if the bottom goes cleans up... we can keep going.

 

I have met a top, who only a bottomed a few times (before we met) in his entire life. He for whatever reason likes me a lot so he is willing to bottom for me. I've been teaching him everything from ways of cleaning out, to preparing to bottom, and using toys to open up. Although there hasn't been a huge mess, there has been a little a few times. He jumped up and cleaned up. I made sure I was good. Then we opened another condom and went at it each time. I'm ok with it because not only do i find him insanely sexy, he has kind of given me the gift of his ass. So I can deal with the possible mess with him. If the guy cleans up and you aren't turned off, I say continue.

 

It's tricky situation asking someone (you just met) to be sure they are clean, but it's probably best to be straight forward and polite about it. If you've seen the guy more than once, definitely say something. For the most part, I haven't had to ask about cleanliness. Although sometimes shit will still happen, even after a good cleaning.

 

Now with that said... I can't wait for you to bottom for me.

Totally agree on how bad it is, my issue is when the bottom just wants you to keep going at it when its a big mess and even worse when it happens on multiple occasions! I can't wait either, I could use a good pounding with all this topping I have been doing lately!!!!!! I will make sure I am mr clean, clean for you!!!

[seaboy4hire]

I am mostly a bottom. I dont ever host when I am home in Chicago. When I bottom, I will get ready here at home but if someone is downtown,that is almost an hour away by public transit. I will ask the host if it is ok if I refreshen up off the clock when I get there. I'venever had anyone say no. I know my body and know that I will need that extra shower time.

Now if I am hosting and I am topping I let the other guy know that my shower is there for his use if he needs to freshen up and it wont count against thetime agreed upon.

 

 

Hugs,

Greg

[+ glennnn]

As a client, and an inexperienced one, I look to my escort for education as well as sexual satisfaction. I would not be insulted or embarrassed if he quizzed me a little on my hygiene and made suggestions on preping. Better that than having an accident so big that it kills the mood.

 

It is confusing to read all the posts on this subject.... Use fleet with water vs use a hose apparatus in the shower which some say puts too much liquid high up in the colon to leak out later. (Ew! Brown water!) My first time bottoming, I had done plenty of cleaning, (perhaps too much) only to have a small leak of water. My escort took it in his stride, got us cleaned up while coaching me on douching technique, and finished me off with more great topping. He was the complete professional. The mood was saved and I wasn't shamed by my faux pas. Needless to say, I am a repeat customer.

[Juan Vancouver]

Hey Keith, great question.

 

Personally I think the most important thing is that we tackle the issue as adults. I always stay away from euphemisms like "You know, you have to be clean down there". To many that just sounds as if you are recommending them to shower. Instead, after finding out that my client is interested in bottoming I always say something like: Just be aware that I am a big boy and I will go deep. Are you familiar of the proper ways of cleaning the inside of your ass to be able to bottom? Are you familiar with douching?

 

I have never had anyone balk at this. If they are familiar, they tell me, if they are not, I explain and suggest they go online, find a tutorial and try it out a couple times before we meet. That will help them to feel they know what they are doing and get practice. Nothing, including douches goes well the first time. I find that people often love feeling they are doing their best to be prepared and have a great experience. The preparation becomes part of the experience.

 

If during the session things are not as clean as they should be we stop and go shower. If it was just a little bit and after the shower it is clean I have no problem continuing. If, however, it is very clear the ass will not be ready, after showering carefully I focus on different activities. A couple times I have been asked to go back in there even after a catastrophic accident while it is clear it would only get worse. I have absolutely no problem setting a clear boundary with my partner and just say that is not possible. Not only it is not hygienic, but it is dangerous; faeces sometimes break condoms, so I will not go in there.

 

If you want to improve your chances of getting fucked, as a partner you have the responsibility to learn to get ready. If you are not ready you have absolutely no right to demand your partner to put himself at risk.

 

I am a lover, not a nurse.

 

Now that you say you have a hose and douche in your shower, you can always tell them before the bottoming that you have no problem with them using it, i think they'll get the point

 

I would absolutely recommend against that. During an enema, the body absorbs water that if is not properly expelled, will come out unexpectedly (and incredibly dirty) at the smallest provocation. After a douche, you have to wait at least 30 minutes before carefully trying insertion again. Never let your bottom douche right before you play. Especially if he is aware of the time and will want to jump on your cock right away.

 

That is why if during play things are dirty, I never recommend to put more water inside. That will only make things much worse.

 

Douching has to happen at least an hour before play. After that, either you got it right or you didnt, and you have to accept what is and learn to enjoy what you can.

[Nvr2Thick]

Now we just need to find an escort who will ask "Why can't I charge my clients for douche prep time when I'm expected to bottom?"

[keithhardy]

Hey Keith, great question.

 

Personally I think the most important thing is that we tackle the issue as adults. I always stay away from euphemisms like "You know, you have to be clean down there". To many that just sounds as if you are recommending them to shower. Instead, after finding out that my client is interested in bottoming I always say something like: Just be aware that I am a big boy and I will go deep. Are you familiar of the proper ways of cleaning the inside of your ass to be able to bottom? Are you familiar with douching?

 

I have never had anyone balk at this. If they are familiar, they tell me, if they are not, I explain and suggest they go online, find a tutorial and try it out a couple times before we meet. That will help them to feel they know what they are doing and get practice. Nothing, including douches goes well the first time. I find that people often love feeling they are doing their best to be prepared and have a great experience. The preparation becomes part of the experience.

 

If during the session things are not as clean as they should be we stop and go shower. If it was just a little bit and after the shower it is clean I have no problem continuing. If, however, it is very clear the ass will not be ready, after showering carefully I focus on different activities. A couple times I have been asked to go back in there even after a catastrophic accident while it is clear it would only get worse. I have absolutely no problem setting a clear boundary with my partner and just say that is not possible. Not only it is not hygienic, but it is dangerous; faeces sometimes break condoms, so I will not go in there.

 

If you want to improve your chances of getting fucked, as a partner you have the responsibility to learn to get ready. If you are not ready you have absolutely no right to demand your partner to put himself at risk.

 

I am a lover, not a nurse.

 

 

 

I would absolutely recommend against that. During an enema, the body absorbs water that if is not properly expelled, will come out unexpectedly (and incredibly dirty) at the smallest provocation. After a douche, you have to wait at least 30 minutes before carefully trying insertion again. Never let your bottom douche right before you play. Especially if he is aware of the time and will want to jump on your cock right away.

 

That is why if during play things are dirty, I never recommend to put more water inside. That will only make things much worse.

 

Douching has to happen at least an hour before play. After that, either you got it right or you didnt, and you have to accept what is and learn to enjoy what you can.

Great post Juan, thanks for sharing!!

[keithhardy]

As a client, and an inexperienced one, I look to my escort for education as well as sexual satisfaction. I would not be insulted or embarrassed if he quizzed me a little on my hygiene and made suggestions on preping. Better that than having an accident so big that it kills the mood.

 

It is confusing to read all the posts on this subject.... Use fleet with water vs use a hose apparatus in the shower which some say puts too much liquid high up in the colon to leak out later. (Ew! Brown water!) My first time bottoming, I had done plenty of cleaning, (perhaps too much) only to have a small leak of water. My escort took it in his stride, got us cleaned up while coaching me on douching technique, and finished me off with more great topping. He was the complete professional. The mood was saved and I wasn't shamed by my faux pas. Needless to say, I am a repeat customer.

I use the hose overtime I bttm and very very rarely have an issue when I am bottoming. With that being said I also prep well before the encounter, if one is cleaned out correctly, in most cases, you should expel clear liquids a bit of time later after the original cleaning. I think the mistakes one makes is preparing to close to the actual time of the encounter, being a bttm is a lot of work!!!!

[mike carey]

I take all the points @Juan Vancouver raised (and others have in previous threads) and I know how to do it in theory, but I am still nervous in practice. (I had had 'This just happens sometimes' reactions before I eventually had a freak-out reaction.) From this thread my take-away is practising cleaning out when I'm not planning a meeting. Rinsing, fibre, rechecking. I knew that it takes time after cleaning for everything to stabilise. But I recognise that accidents will happen. If I had been doing this for years I would be more confident, but I haven't.

[mattr]

I know it varies but any thoughts on the maximum time that one will remain fuckable after a thorough cleaning?

[+ Truereview]

I know it varies but any thoughts on the maximum time that one will remain fuckable after a thorough cleaning?

There should be an app for that

[mike carey]

I know it varies but any thoughts on the maximum time that one will remain fuckable after a thorough cleaning?

That's the very reason I said I saw the need to practise cleaning. If you clean and then rinse some hours later you will start to be able to work out how long you will be clean.

[MikeyGMin]

I know it varies but any thoughts on the maximum time that one will remain fuckable after a thorough cleaning?

 

I think that really comes down to knowing your body and how predictable your "out comes" are. I'm pretty rigid about when I eat, when I drink a fiber laced protein drink, etc. so I am very predictable. I would feel very confident cleaning out before going out at night at then playing several hours later. No way in hell would I ever, ever, ever bottom in the morning. :-)

[+ Lance_Navarro]

I think most everything that can be said about cleaning has been said already. I indicate on my website that anyone coming from work or a day running around the city is welcome to use my shower and that a shower shot is available for their convenience. Also, if someone indicates they are new to bottoming or not very experienced I make sure they understand that my cock is quite sizeable so they will need to be prepared for that, but that I will also be gentle and take my time with them.

 

One suggestion I will make if you have a guy that you know or suspect might not be fully prepared, is to use an insertive, or "female" condom. It will stay in, so you'll have no indication of the "brown stuff" and when you're done, he can take it out in the shower. Just make sure to only lightly lubricate the outside, so it doesn't slide out, and use plenty of lube on the inside and on your dick. I find that cream based (fisting) lube works best with them and it's safe cause it's not latex.

 

Happy fucking everyone!

[mike carey]

Lance, do you have anything to say about Juan's comment that one needs to wait 30-60 minutes after douching for things to 'settle down'?