May have shortchanged an escort!?

[whipped guy]

I know this is out of topic, but I was really surprised reading this. I know it is somewhat of a joke, but I think it might reflect somewhat the way you really feel about it.

 

Why do you think he should pay you if he played submissive? The ver few submissive for hires that I know charge a lot more than the DOMS.

LOL! Juan I did NOT mean it in that sense! EMPHATICALLY not in that sense. It was a JOKE and especially since I knew that he really enjoyed the session! Actually I had hired the guy to play the submissive role. At our previous session I had said that one day I would like to reverse roles with him. He did not agree but simply said that he would give it some consideration. As it happened I brought my harness, armbands, wristbands, leather cap, etc. just to show him as I had been to a club the previous night. This was in addition to the accoutrements that I would normally bring to a session as I like being worked over by certain floggers etc. As it happened he suddenly said to me, "Is this not the session where you get to work me over?" I was totally surprised, but needless to say jumped at the opportunity.

 

As for the SNAFU regarding payment, we are both a bit visually challenged and probably mathematically challenged as well so we both messed up. As for my part it was an honest mistake and he knew that. SHOOT! The guy let me flog him and the gods know what else I made him do! As such he certainly had at least a small bit of trust regarding my overall persona!!!!

 

Incidentally, I have never been in a situation where I have had to lay out extra cash for playing the Dom. However, I can honestly see how that could be the case. As I mentioned in another thread it is amazing how many closet S&M subs are out there and even among escorts some of whom play the role in their private sex lives, but don't think it prudent to advertise the fact. (See below)

 

 

Yes! It is smazing how many guys out there (escort or otherwise) are either closeted BDSM subs or have a great desire to play on the sub-side of the so-called darker side! As in your case most of the times the session is planned. However, it can be spontaneous as when one vanilla based escort suddenly got on his knees and begged me to punish him. Now that really took me by surprise! Another time I jokingly mentioned it and the guy took me up on the offer right on the spot and it was our first time meeting!!!! It all boils down to the sub having trust and confidence that the dom will not cross or violate his limits and comfort zone. In the case of playing a BDSM dom, nice guys finish first as that's what it takes for the sub to submit willingnessly and unequivocally.

[Strafe13]

Epilogue (you may or may not care to read this):

 

Time for everyone to be mad at me. I just checked my bank account online, and have now concluded that I didn't shortchange my escort yesterday. Like I said before, I rarely carry much cash on my person, and knew I only had a few small bills (less than $20 denominations) in my wallet before I went to the ATM right before my session. I thought I'd taken out $300 from the machine, so when I saw three $20 bills in my wallet several hours later, I thought that meant that I gave my guy less than his $260 fee. Upon checking my account this evening for an unrelated reason, I see that I actually took out $320 from the ATM yesterday.

 

I feel a bit silly that I got worked up for no reason, but thankful for the supportive, nonjudgmental posts from my fellow forum members. I also appreciate that my escort is so amazing as to give me that gracious response even when I seemed so sure that I messed up.

[Strafe13]

You need to hire cuter plumbers and contractors......LOL. FWIW, I pay my contractor, a real cutie pie BTW, in cash regardless of the amount (his choice). I do count it twice in front of him and then insist that he count it again...same with escorts. I count the money at the end in front of him, just so that he can see the amount, and suggest that they verify. Sometimes they do, but more often than not they decline the offer, but at least the money was counted in the open.

 

Actually, it sounds like I need to hire your contractor! ;-)

[+ bashful]

I'm glad all worked out well. I, on the other hand, have somewhat the opposite dilemma. I met with someone for what I thought would be a 90 minute appointment. I, like many of you, had counted out the fee and placed it in an envelope prior to meeting (I keep tip money separate). Our time together didn't last as long as agreed, and he only charged his hour rate. How nice was that. As I was trying to subtract from the envelope for the hour rate, then add for tip, I tipped more than usual. However, in hindsight, I was glad to do so because he was so kind to adjust his rate.

 

But now, what happens if we meet again. (NOT TRYING TO RESURECT A TIPPING THREAD HERE). Should I tip the same percentage as before if our experience is again tip-worthy, or tip as I normally do? If tipping as normal (not significantly less), do I say why it's less? Part of me thinks I've established an expectation, and I really don't like to discuss money at a meeting. That should be established prior to meeting. Do I bring it up in advance? If I continue to tip the same percentage, meeting becomes more cost prohibitive.

[Strafe13]

I'm glad all worked out well. I, on the other hand, have somewhat the opposite dilemma. I met with someone for what I thought would be a 90 minute appointment. I, like many of you, had counted out the fee and placed it in an envelope prior to meeting (I keep tip money separate). Our time together didn't last as long as agreed, and he only charged his hour rate. How nice was that. As I was trying to subtract from the envelope for the hour rate, then add for tip, I tipped more than usual. However, in hindsight, I was glad to do so because he was so kind to adjust his rate.

 

But now, what happens if we meet again. (NOT TRYING TO RESURECT A TIPPING THREAD HERE). Should I tip the same percentage as before if our experience is again tip-worthy, or tip as I normally do? If tipping as normal (not significantly less), do I say why it's less? Part of me thinks I've established an expectation, and I really don't like to discuss money at a meeting. That should be established prior to meeting. Do I bring it up in advance? If I continue to tip the same percentage, meeting becomes more cost prohibitive.

 

If you meet this escort again, I think you should tip your normal rate, and not worry about what it may look like to give him less than he previously received. Tipping in this scenario is purely discretionary, so he shouldn't have any expectation that he should get one at all, much less any set amount or portion of the fee. Remember, tipping is primarily to compensate lower wage workers for whom it's an essential part of their income, which partially justifies their lower wages that are often at or below the minimum wage. Depending on which region of the country you're in, escorts make $200/hr and up, sometimes over $1,000/night or $3,000/weekend. In the escort business, IMHO, the rationale for tipping changes from supplementing those living on subsistence-level wages (such that we feel obliged to always tip, even if the service was less than stellar), to a purely discretionary, even whimsical, way of showing additional gratitude to those who are already handsomely compensated for their skills. So, tip whatever you like, whenever the mood strikes you. If your guy is a real professional, it won't affect the level of service he provides. If you feel the need, you can explain it, but he's probably smart enough to figure it out with time.

[+ WmClarke]

I'm glad all worked out well. I, on the other hand, have somewhat the opposite dilemma. I met with someone for what I thought would be a 90 minute appointment. I, like many of you, had counted out the fee and placed it in an envelope prior to meeting (I keep tip money separate). Our time together didn't last as long as agreed, and he only charged his hour rate. How nice was that. As I was trying to subtract from the envelope for the hour rate, then add for tip, I tipped more than usual. However, in hindsight, I was glad to do so because he was so kind to adjust his rate.

 

But now, what happens if we meet again. (NOT TRYING TO RESURECT A TIPPING THREAD HERE). Should I tip the same percentage as before if our experience is again tip-worthy, or tip as I normally do? If tipping as normal (not significantly less), do I say why it's less? Part of me thinks I've established an expectation, and I really don't like to discuss money at a meeting. That should be established prior to meeting. Do I bring it up in advance? If I continue to tip the same percentage, meeting becomes more cost prohibitive.

Tip your normal rate. The first time extra amount can be a signing bonus.

[Jock123]

http://thetin.co/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/fixitjesusimage.gif

[mike carey]

The subliminal fear that you have underpaid is real. The idea that I should have this much cash left and I have more left is one way that I would doubt that I had paid enough. In some cases I have counted out the money, in others I have left it in an envelope. I had some $100 bills that I had had for eight years and I used them to pay a companion. I worried that they might be out of date but figured that US currency is never 'expired'.

[MikeyGMin]

I'm glad all worked out well. I, on the other hand, have somewhat the opposite dilemma. I met with someone for what I thought would be a 90 minute appointment. I, like many of you, had counted out the fee and placed it in an envelope prior to meeting (I keep tip money separate). Our time together didn't last as long as agreed, and he only charged his hour rate. How nice was that. As I was trying to subtract from the envelope for the hour rate, then add for tip, I tipped more than usual. However, in hindsight, I was glad to do so because he was so kind to adjust his rate.

 

But now, what happens if we meet again. (NOT TRYING TO RESURECT A TIPPING THREAD HERE). Should I tip the same percentage as before if our experience is again tip-worthy, or tip as I normally do? If tipping as normal (not significantly less), do I say why it's less? Part of me thinks I've established an expectation, and I really don't like to discuss money at a meeting. That should be established prior to meeting. Do I bring it up in advance? If I continue to tip the same percentage, meeting becomes more cost prohibitive.

 

I know that some people are very matter-of-fact when it comes to money - - rates, tipping etc - - but I share your anxiety and tendency to think about the message I am sending with a tip. I agree that our providers are well paid and not in the "must tip" category, but once you have done so, not tipping can send a message that something was wrong. I'm sure that people like you and me way overthink it.

 

What I would do in your case is put that rate plus the amount you want to normally tip in the envelope before the session. Then just give him the envelope. (If for any reason that tip isn't deserved you can take it out or just write it off and not call him anymore.) Since it is just your second session, I doubt he will wonder what he did wrong to not receive the "normal" amount.

[+ bashful]

So, tip whatever you like, whenever the mood strikes you.

 

The first time extra amount can be a signing bonus.

 

I'm sure that people like you and me way overthink it.

 

Thanks guys. Yes, I tend to overthink things.

[+ purplekow]

I am late to the party and was about to suggest that perhaps you did not underpay him, and as it turns out you did not. Most of the escorts I know would have just overlooked the underpayment had it been the case, but I would definitely have asked if there was a problem with the payment at a convenient time.

[LADoug1]

If I shorted an escort I would text him as soon as I realized it and arrange to pay the difference. I would do this whether or not I wanted a repeat.

 

I count the money twice. Once before putting it in my wallet (folded) and again before giving it to the escort. I've also taken to putting the counted money in an envelope. This better ensures I haven't made a mistake.