Talking about the client's look...

[mike carey]

I don't have the best self-confidence especially regarding my looks. I hate it when someone compliments me saying I'm attractive.

We're often not the best judges of ourselves, nevertheless I agree if you are complimented, say 'thank you' or 'you are too kind', don't argue with them. In a similar vein, before I retired I was the subject of a 360 degree assessment. Everyone, subordinates, peers and superiors rated me higher than I rated myself. My options were to move forward with the view that I underestimated myself or that I had succeeded in conning everyone else. I settled for 'a bit of both'.

[MikeyGMin]

On the flip side, I do compliment escorts and hope they find this satisfying. I guess they are used to being complimented but I hope they don't take my compliments for granted.

 

I know what you mean. I avoid excessive compliments or any kind of fawning, but I still lose my breath a little when I see my favorite "in all his glory."

I can't help the "You're so f**king beautiful!" that slips out of my mouth. The lust in my eyes (and other parts) attest to my sincerity and he takes the compliment with grace.

[LADoug1]

I know what you mean. I avoid excessive compliments or any kind of fawning, but I still lose my breath a little when I see my favorite "in all his glory."

I can't help the "You're so f**king beautiful!" that slips out of my mouth. The lust in my eyes (and other parts) attest to my sincerity and he takes the compliment with grace.

I'd like to think this is the case with me too.

[curiousnomore]

Expect the Escort to give you a compliment. Accept it at Face Value and move on.

[HobbesianAcademic]

Honestly just curious: how would anything Juan wrote ruin your reputation or make it more difficult for you to hire? I'm doubting that Hobbesian is your real name. How would anyone know that it was even you trying to hire?

 

As I said up thread, this is the handle I use on Rentmen as well and I do most of my bookings via email. I don't think it is likely but an escort I am talking to could cross reference. I would cross reference with new clients if I was on the other side. It's prudent to assume escorts do...

[HobbesianAcademic]

Mr Hobbes, please note that a persons attractiveness and desirability is based on MORE than their physical beauty... I am sure some introspection has already led you to realize this, but if not, perhaps give it some thought.... Understand WHY you are not popular, because according to you, it has nothing to do with your "looks". Only then can your focus be directed appropriately for "growth"....

 

Read better. It has everything to do with my looks. I do not how you derived the opposite reading. Cubs are not considered generally desirable, cubs are not the cultural archetype. But it is not unheard of for a person to like cubs.

 

And no I disagree with sexual attraction, in the relevant sense here, has anything to do with something beyond physical looks. Indeed there is only the physical. EDIT: with the possible exception of what physical acts a person is desiring...not personality, or spirit or whatever self-help claptrap that is about to come up...

[jjkrkwood]

Mr Hobbes, before we eat Pizza, I truly DOUBT you are that attractive as to cause yourself to be a social leper. I do believe you built that up in your mind, and you truly believe it, but I dont think its the real situation. I think you have some sort of body dysmorphia "in reverse" , and no matter what anyone here says to you, it aint gonna make a fuck of a difference. You seem to have a comeback for every comment, supporting your beliefs, which seem to be a bit distorted.

[MikeyGMin]

Indeed there is only the physical

 

For you perhaps. You seem to have an extraordinarily grim and cynical view of life and humanity. You'll probably say it is "just being realistic" and perhaps that is true for you, but it's your reality -- certainly not mine. I get that "the relevant sense here" could be the transactional nature of the escort/client relationship which is based on the physical (from the client side) but if you've never been attracted by the way a man carries himself, or laughs, or dances...then you are extremely...(I don't even have the vocabulary)...closed off and creating this reality for yourself.

[klifhangar]

What's a cub? I think cubs are cute. I mean as in lion, tiger, cougar etc.

[+ Truereview]

What's a cub? I think cubs are cute. I mean as in lion, tiger, cougar etc.

Check this tumbler or that tumbler

[klifhangar]

Oh, I see. I don't see the diff between that and a "bear". More youth and cuteness?

 

Nice, not my flavah but to each his own.

[+ HornyRetiree]

Oh, I see. I don't see the diff between that and a "bear". More youth and cuteness?

 

Nice, not my flavah but to each his own.

 

AGE is the difference

[+ Funguy]

How i missed this all a year ago, I don't know but . . . Massive self-image issues plus the facts that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that beauty is NOT skin deep are at play here.

 

We all have our own insecurities - mine have to do with looks, size, performance - all the usual culprits. Does any of this hinder me - NO! I know I'm certainly "streetable", average (nothing wrong with that), and I do provoke enough ahhhs, groans, ooohs to know that some are certainly real.

I also will believe that if an escort says to me he does not lie when he makes compliments, it doesn't make me stupid; rather I choose to simply and truly enjoy that 2 or 3 hours with no second guesses or over-thinking.

There also seems to be a lot of smiling and having true fun when I play.

 

After all, think of me as: Funguy.

[Jose305]

Im a bearish guy, normal looking, not a pretty boy at all but I whatever compliments I get I answer with a "awww thank you so much." Sometimes it takes learned skills - thought restructuring - to accept them too lol

I used to do sales way back in the day and compliments, active listening, being personable, showing actual interest in clients needs will usually get you repeat customers and this is no different from an escort who really are in sales. So what if their compliment is a lie - it might have made that client happy that moment and that client can turn into a repeat customer lol

[Rudynate]

I think, by calling it a weird boundary, you have hit it on the nose. In order for you to get what you want, you need to be, as PK suggested, willing to forego small talk, too. If that's too big a price, you need to learn to deal with that. Life is full of tradeoffs. Here's one of them.

 

I happen to disagree with the premise that people say things with an end goal in mind. Sometimes people say things just to say them. (Venting is one example.) You have a far more instrumental (I think that's the right word) view of human nature than I do. Probably more so than most people. So it will be a difficult thing to explain and get someone to accept. My advice would be not to try that route.

 

It sounds pretty sexy - he comes over, you let him in, you thoroughly use each other for your own selfish gratification and part without a word. It would be a great porn movie.

[Stormy]

I love to get compliments on my looks. Next time just give the phone to the escort to call me and tell me how attractive I am. I will take one for the team!

[MartyB]

When I first started seeing escorts and and I was told how good I looked or what a great asset I had I thought yeah sure. But he had his dick up my ass and he was kissing me so I went with it. When they told me how big I was it wasn't bullshit but fact. Lol. All of the escorts that I had the best time with and continue to are hot sexy beautiful men. If I'm having a great time and they are enjoying themselves complements are fine. Love when they say your looking in very good shape nice haircut etc. It's nice.

[Rudynate]

I don't question compliments, I assume they're sincere and I appreciate them. And of course, some aren't, but as they say, what others think of me is none of my business. Last week, I was in a crumby part of Daly City getting my car fixed. Everywhere I looked there were sketchy people and payday-loan places. It was bleak . . . the sleazy surroundings were really getting me down. I had to wait for my vehicle, so I looked for a place to have lunch. I ended up having lunch at Wendy's. As I was leaving Wendy's, a woman who worked there was coming in the door, maybe from a break or something. I held the door for her, and she smiled and said "My darling, I hope you're having a wonderful day." I said, "If I wasn't before, I am now."

[MassageDrew]

Just enjoy the flattery and leave it at that. I have hired some masseurs that were surprised how young I look. It leads me to believe that most of their clients are older. Just enjoy the compliment and don't think too much about it.

[+ oldNbusted]

Fortunately, I'm scarred and ugly enough no one really tries to say things like this to me, if they did, I suspect I would just give them a look and hopefully they would instantly know their BS was busted.

 

But if they persisted, I would just say, look, I don't believe this about myself, so when you say this to me, I find it very distracting from what I want out of the session, so I would appreciate it if you wouldn't say it anymore. This shouldn't be any different than when I tell my masseur I have a cut nerve in a scar on my leg they shouldn't touch at all, it should be the end of the discussion. If they continue, I would question if we were a good match. I would try to be as pleasant about saying this as possible, I don't like when people try to make others feel small for no purpose, it's just not necessary.

 

You can't really know what someone else is thinking, so saying that you also don't believe them, I think is kinda pointless, they are likely to defend themselves, which again seems like a distraction from your goals for the session.