A session with no "sex"

[jvanchicago]

So I'm still relatively new to the hiring scene, as it were. I've hired several different masseurs (of the erotic variety, of course!), but only once an escort. What I found after the session was, I'm just not into actual sexual intercourse (I know, perish the thought!) I loved the cuddling, body contact, making out-basically all of the foreplay. When it got down to "the deed," the escort seemed kind of shocked that I didn't really want to do that. I hired him for massage not realizing that escorting was also part of the deal, so I didn't think it necessary to discuss that prior to the appointment.

 

So here's my question-would it be a strange request to an escort for the whole foreplay/cuddling/making out, but no actual sexual intercourse? It seems what I want is more than what most masseurs would offer, but at the same time less then what would be a "normal" escort session (although, to be fair, is there even such a thing as a "normal" escort session?). Interested in anybody's feedback.

[Guy Fawkes]

Any legitimate escort is charging for their time only. If you only want to cuddle, I can name many escorts that'll happily snuggle up. However, most escorts will appreciate your being upfront about your expectations for your time together.

[jvanchicago]

Thank you for the advice, Daddy. And, most importantly, thank you for this great community. I've found a wealth of information, and encountered many great folks here-thanks for what you do!

[keithhardy]

I have many clients that want to meet and spend time with me for various reasons, I don't want to get into particulars but often sex does not occur. It is nice to know what expectations are up-front, it makes it a bit more comfortable for everyone.

[+ SundayZip]

Hey jvanchicago, I'm curious what you mean by "sexual intercourse". Is this just anal sex for you? Or does it also include oral sex?

[whipped guy]

I would guess that a larger percentage of "cuddling etc. only" exists than is normally thought of. Heck! Substitute BDSM for cuddling etc. and that is all many of the guys into such a scene really want or need. So in a sense I'm guilty as charged as well! And if people think that's "nuts" remember that, "You can't spell nuts without a U in it!"

 

Also, remember that as with all other things in life sexuality runs the whole gamut. Bottom line: do that which you enjoy doing and enjoy doing it to the max!

[+ nycman]

I'm just not into actual sexual intercourse.

 

You're not doing it right.

 

 

 

Grin

[MikeyGMin]

So here's my question-would it be a strange request to an escort for the whole foreplay/cuddling/making out, but no actual sexual intercourse?

 

Hells no! I have hired more escorts than I care to count and have NEVER had anal intercourse with them. Just tell them you are into kissing, oral (assuming you are), massage, body contact, etc. It's even okay to tell them that you don't care about getting off if that is the case. They just need to know what you are looking for, otherwise, they're going to default to what is most common for them.

 

One thing I would suggest is to try to make sure they really are okay with kissing and intimacy. The only escorts that have been uncomfortable with "my kind" of sex are the ones that don't really like to kiss. Those are the ones that want to fuck because it is easier for them.

 

People like you and me are probably not that common, but we are not some freakishly small minority. Go get what you want!

[whipped guy]

Hells no! I have hired more escorts than I care to count and have NEVER had anal intercourse with them. Just tell them you are into kissing, oral (assuming you are), massage, body contact, etc. It's even okay to tell them that you don't care about getting off if that is the case. They just need to know what you are looking for, otherwise, they're going to default to what is most common for them.

 

One thing I would suggest is to try to make sure they really are okay with kissing and intimacy. The only escorts that have been uncomfortable with "my kind" of sex are the ones that don't really like to kiss. Those are the ones that want to fuck because it is easier for them.

 

People like you and me are probably not that common, but we are not some freakishly small minority. Go get what you want!

Great advice and especially making sure that they are on board with what ever best floats your boat! Such supposedly low key individuals are much more common than is generally thought! Just ask any escort and he will most likely confirm that they are not a mere blip on the radar screen, but a sizable group. And incidentally I consider myself to be low key, well at least as far as getting banged is concerned. It ain't everyone's cup of tea!

 

Bottom line: communicate your likes, feeling, and desires what ever they might be and enjoy from there!

[jvanchicago]

Hey jvanchicago, I'm curious what you mean by "sexual intercourse". Is this just anal sex for you? Or does it also include oral sex?

Definitely means anal sex. Oral sex is fine, but even that is a very, very small part of what I like. I know, I sound so prudish!

[+ nycman]

Definitely means anal sex. Oral sex is fine, but even that is a very, very small part of what I like. I know, I sound so prudish!

 

No...you just sound like you've had boring sexual partners your entire life...and you need a good coach to fix all the damage.....grin

 

Btw, obviously I'm just kidding. I think all sexual intimacy and it's millions of countless variations are amazing.

 

I don't care if you get off on just watching a fully clothed twink paint your toenails....if that's your thing bro....I say fucking go for it!

 

What's important is having the balls to ask for what you want...and to be open to the world of possibilities.

 

You may THINK you just want him to paint your toenails...but maybe...just maybe...it be hot if he sucked your toes first?.....try it!

 

As as others have said, just make sure you communicate clearly with your escort.

 

The default setting is "let's fuck and then you get out of here"...if you want something other than that...be clear about it.

[MikeyGMin]

The default setting is "let's fuck and then you get out of here"...if you want something other than that...be clear about it.

 

I've heard you mention guys staying too long a couple times now. It must be awful to have such a magnetic personality that you have to pay them to go away. ;):p

[+ nycman]

I've heard you mention guys staying too long a couple times now. It must be awful to have such a magnetic personality that you have to pay them to go away. ;):p

 

Creeper....grin

 

Not really...its more of a reference to the old chestnut "you don't pay me to come...you pay me to leave"

[Maximus69]

It happens more than you think, I've had times that I was ready to take a big thick meaty cock but all they wanted to do is talk and get to know me, it was cute and very gentlemen of them. Kissing/cuddling can be more intimate than sex, I think thats why most of my clients like me bc I'm very affectionate and sweet yet can switch if off and be a naughty schoolboy if need me

[+ purplekow]

[quote="whipped guy, post: 1049757, member: 4764" And if people think that's "nuts" remember that, "You can't spell nuts without a U in it!"

 

!

Pecan Pistacchio Almond

[Donpat]

Hells no! I have hired more escorts than I care to count and have NEVER had anal intercourse with them. Just tell them you are into kissing, oral (assuming you are), massage, body contact, etc. It's even okay to tell them that you don't care about getting off if that is the case. They just need to know what you are looking for, otherwise, they're going to default to what is most common for them.

 

One thing I would suggest is to try to make sure they really are okay with kissing and intimacy. The only escorts that have been uncomfortable with "my kind" of sex are the ones that don't really like to kiss. Those are the ones that want to fuck because it is easier for them.

 

People like you and me are probably not that common, but we are not some freakishly small minority. Go get what you want!

I'm with you that, so I'm probably in the "not that common" category. Good advice from many here regarding the "go get what you want" concept

[AndreFuture]

I love cuddling and body contact! I wish more guys would hire me for that, to be honest.

[Juan Vancouver]

No, man, it is not uncommon that people have different needs.

 

There is a very lesser known minority that gets very little talk time. It's what some call the a-sexual community. These are people with en entirely different view on intimacy and sexuality than most of us. They, for the most part seem to be thrilled with some intimacy, some cuddling, some light touching and some company. For them, sexual intercourse or sexual interaction to different degrees is just not interesting. Not because they are boring or prudish or repressed, just because it doesn't appeal to them.

 

I guess my recommendation would be to try to asses whether you want it and seem to be unable to relax into it, in which case it would be fun to work on it with a well trained sex therapist, but if you really have no interest in it, then just relax and own it. Absolutely nothing wrong about it.

 

It's your body, your rules.

 

Many escorts will the thrilled to see you and share with you whatever intimate moments you are willing to share.

 

Big hug and a cuddle!

[AndreFuture]

There is a very lesser known minority that gets very little talk time. It's what some call the a-sexual community. These are people with en entirely different view on intimacy and sexuality than most of us. They, for the most part seem to be thrilled with some intimacy, some cuddling, some light touching and some company. For them, sexual intercourse or sexual interaction to different degrees is just not interesting. Not because they are boring or prudish or repressed, just because it doesn't appeal to them.

 

Thanks for bringing up aces (asexuals, a romantics, greys, etc). I'm at a queer conference this week and one of the sessions was about the invisibility and misunderstanding of asexuals, especially the thinking that there's something "wrong" with them or they just need to get laid right. It's something that I have to remember, being quite sexual myself.

[+ Truereview]

Thanks for bringing up aces (asexuals, a romantics, greys, etc). I'm at a queer conference this week and one of the sessions was about the invisibility and misunderstanding of asexuals, especially the thinking that there's something "wrong" with them or they just need to get laid right. It's something that I have to remember, being quite sexual myself.

I'd luv to see you post a thread after that session...there are a few threads about asexuality in the forum, but nothing too detailed on misunderstandings & the invisibility factor.

[Mark Alexander]

It wouldn't be a problem for me, since I love to kiss. Some escorts don't like to kiss, some do.

We're not psychic mind-readers. I appreciate it when a guy makes his expectations known. We're going to have a whole lot more fun that way.

[whipped guy]

And if people think that's "nuts" remember that, "You can't spell nuts without a U in it!

 

Pecan Pistacchio Almond

 

To that I counter: Cojones, Balls, Rocks, Testicles, Family Jewels!

 

Plus, to cover all my bases: Cashew.

[AndreFuture]

I love cashews. You can make all kinds yummies with cashews, like dairy-free cheese cake. Mmmmm....

[whipped guy]

I love cashews. You can make all kinds yummies with cashews, like dairy-free cheese cake. Mmmmm....

Recipe please! I think we may just have someone here who might be in the same league as the esteemed Raul G. Manzo when it comes to culinary skills. Of course Raul would probably grow the cashews as well!!!

[AndreFuture]

Recipe please! I think we may just have someone here who might be in the same league as the esteemed Raul G. Manzo when it comes to culinary skills. Of course Raul would probably grow the cashews as well!!!

 

I'll have to look for the recipe when I'm next on my computer (I'm away from home using my phone). The first time I made it I didn't have all the ingredients ts as I was visiting my parents' place, so I was all pouty that it wasn't perfect. But my mom had a slice and asked if I cheated and got it from the store, so I guess it wasn't so bad after all.

 

I would honestly make the perfect househusband with my culinary, gardening, decorating, and bedroom skills. I don't know I'd I could grow my own cashews though, so Raul can still keep his esteemed place