Help...need advice!!

[MikeyGMin]

I would also consider cutting back the frequency of your contact with him and see what type of reaction he has. This may give you a clearer idea of the nature of his feelings about the relationship. Skip a session or push it back a week or make it for one evening not overnight or some such and cut the payment back appropriately

 

PK...you're such a romantic.

 

Unless I misunderstood the arrangement...this is a sugar baby not an escort he is dealing with. That means the OP is probably paying some or many bills on a regular basis. Skipping a session probably wouldn't phase the little tyke. The true test would be skipping one of those bill payments.

[+ TylerandAce]

Some sage advice and wisdom here. It reflects positively that you are open to input. I can't imagine your conflict...loving (or thinking you love) someone in a seemingly impossible situation must be a desperate feeling at times. However, you can get through this. Counseling (and not a religiously affiliated one) is key, of course. However, I'd ask about your companion's situation here. What is his situation with family, friends, school? Is he solely dependent on you for support? Is he trustworthy in his communication about other topics in order for you to discuss feelings and trust them to be true? What would happen if you stopped the support for a while?

 

My current experience is that 18 year old men are just children in an adult's body. No matter their maturity, they still think like an adolescent and have needs of a child. Their background plays so much into what their needs are and many times they don't even understand why they want something. So, as I said, my current experience with people this age leads me to recommend being the adult here and doing what is truly best for the other person, whatever that is. Nobody can define that but the two of you and it will need his involvement to find peace. As a wise counselor once said to me, it takes more than love!

[LADoug1]

I'm am truly humbled by the amazing folks on this forum. I sincerely appreciate the advice I've received and I am sorry I can't thank each one of you individually, but please know you have helped one person for sure. I am grateful for your replies, insight, scolding, reality checks, support, suggestions.

 

I've decided to find a gay therapist and take it from there. As for my friend, I don't want to stop seeing him just yet. I will change our relationship whereby I'll ask him not to email me every day - I know that will def help. I will see a couple of other guys and see if that takes my mind off him. I need to find a hobby and friends!!

 

In appreciation..

PM me if you want help finding a GOOD gay therapist or a therapist who is good working with gay men.