Another Side to the NO EMAILS, TEXT OR PHONE ONLY THING

[ny2222]

So I never really start threads but the thread on DEAR RENTMEN, that went really bad and was closed (and I in NO WAY want to resurrect all that!)… it kind of brought up an question I have and it really concerns the NO EMAIL thing, which most escorts seem to go by. I do get the point of it but for many potential clients using the phone (for text or a call) is actually a pretty big commitment especially for those just starting out down this road. I don’t think that escorts realize this.

Let me tell a little story: Many years ago this guy who was dappling a little in the ESCORT thing decided to contact this one escort, who made it pretty clear he wanted Text/Call not email. So this person did Text and they started to arrange a meeting. Things seemed to go a little off (escort didn’t feel comfortable doing a thing..which was understandable) and so the client said ok…and was ready to move on. Gets a call from the escort saying that maybe they can work it out but it doesn’t seem to go well, and the escort then tells the client that he should know better about this stuff seeing as he is a ______ (and tells him his profession) and starts to delve into some detail about his personal life. Well needless to say this totally f’ing freaked me…oh oh …I mean the client out. Turns out that this escort had revere- lookup his number and then did a pretty extensive Google search. Needless to say that conversation did not go well after that as the escort got pretty well shot to pieces and I …oh oh…the client kind of made him a new A-hole. I don’t think he was being malicious, but man it was freeky. I think he was just trying to protect his interests and didn't realize the impact.

I guess my question is…..do any of you do this? And/Or how do you feel about this type of activity..is it crossing the line..or is it something that the escort has a right to? I guess the question is how much information would you want to feel comfortable/safe with an interaction? Is more information better? Do you take into account that clients can be nervous about using their phone since for many they are giving you access to a pretty big piece of their personal life. I am a little nervous on posting this..but hopefully this won't be too controversial since I really just want to get a feeling for how escorts view this.

[Mikegaite]

If it's in the public domain, it's fair game to know, but I generally won't Google stalk people too much. Better to let people tell me what they me to know about themselves.

 

Withholding a phone number = flake almost always. If you aren't disclosing your phone number, I want some sort of assurance via reputation or referral or deposit that you aren't a flake. Get google voice or text free or what's app if you are concerned about discretion.

[AresEscortNYC]

Back in the day, clients would have to call agencies. Call, not text or email. This is the 1 thing I miss about working for an agency: the client had been vetted (safety issues) for me, and both I and the client had a pretty good idea what the other was getting. Ergo I find it invaluable to speak to a prospective client on the phone for a moment or two TO ESABLISH A CONNECTION as well as weed out flakes and drug-users (nothing against them, but...) Tone of voice gives SO much away, and more often than not makes me genuinely excited to meet the person, because he no longer feels like a complete stranger.

[ny2222]

Thanks for answering guys...appreciate the insight. I have never been a great phone person but certainly can see the need on both sides I think. Just trying to point the other side in that it can be a bigish step for a client and sometimes might need a little gentle persuasion.

 

If it's in the public domain, it's fair game to know, but I generally won't Google stalk people too much. Better to let people tell me what they me to know about themselves.

 

As to this part...I had it drummed into me as I was growing up that just because you CAN do it...doesn't mean you should. I would never think of prying into the private life of an escort. If he tells me stuff that is very cool and appreciated. I am the same way. If he asks I am usually pretty open. Definitely makes for an interpersonal connection. However there are real boundaries. Any escort that doesn't respect that boundary for me...well...as DADDY seems to like to say a lot..Time To Move On.

 

Steve

[AdamSmith]

Ergo I find it invaluable to speak to a prospective client on the phone for a moment or two TO ESABLISH A CONNECTION as well as weed out flakes and drug-users (nothing against them, but...) Tone of voice gives SO much away, and more often than not makes me genuinely excited to meet the person, because he no longer feels like a complete stranger.

+10,000

[Juan Vancouver]

I do get the point of it but for many potential clients using the phone (for text or a call) is actually a pretty big commitment especially for those just starting out down this road. I don’t think that escorts realize this.

 

You might have missed the point. We fully realize that sharing your number with us to book a session is a commitment. We NEED you to make a commitment. We are committing our physical safety and our time, which being that it is what we sell, it means we are committing our livelihood whenever we are scheduling a session. In order for us (for me, at least) to feel confident that you are serious, are who you are, that you will show up when agreed and that you are not a gang of skinheads wanting to beat me up, I need at least your phone number, or I need to call back to your hotel room to make sure you ARE in the hotel room.

 

In my experience, the only people who will not make the commitment of sharing their number are flakes, scheisters and/or people who are too unsure of whether they will show up in the end or not. Mike said it succinctly, withholding a phone number? He will not show up.

 

Turns out that this escort had revere- lookup his number and then did a pretty extensive Google search. Needless to say that conversation did not go well after that as the escort got pretty well shot to pieces and I …oh oh…the client kind of made him a new A-hole. I don’t think he was being malicious, but man it was freeky. I think he was just trying to protect his interests and didn't realize the impact.

 

I know there have been a few instances of consistently well reviewed escorts doing shitty things, but those are the rare exceptions, whereas with unreviewed guy flying under the radar this happens more often. I would recommend to try to stick to escorts with a proven record of reliability and respect.

 

I guess my question is…..do any of you do this? And/Or how do you feel about this type of activity..is it crossing the line..or is it something that the escort has a right to? I guess the question is how much information would you want to feel comfortable/safe with an interaction? Is more information better? Do you take into account that clients can be nervous about using their phone since for many they are giving you access to a pretty big piece of their personal life.

 

I only google a number if a am getting reflags during my interaction with the prospective client. And that, only to make sure I am not dealing with a scammer, which is pretty easy to find out. If my findings are somewhat incriminating, I decline the session. If, in the other hand, I just find his personal information, I simply avoid that and move on. Just like Mike, I prefer to hear about my clients' lives from my clients. I have absolutely no interest in amassing information on them, and I will forget absolutely everything I know, that is, until I see him again.

 

A professional escort cares very little about knowing the full hard facts about you, what we care about is what you want to share, how you want to present, what you want to disclose. That is endlessly fascinating for us.

 

Sadly, for a scammer, your info is what he is after. The trick to stop being paranoid and worried all the time, of course, is learning to differentiate between the two. It takes a little practice but it's not too hard.

[+ bashful]

Considering TracFones are an economical alternative to a monthly wireless plan, if I were to contact (text and/or call) from a such a phone (number not blocked/withheld) that has no personal information found in a Google search of the number, would that make an escort less inclined to consider me as a client?

[Donpat]

Considering TracFones are an economical alternative to a monthly wireless plan, if I were to contact (text and/or call) from a such a phone (number not blocked/withheld) that has no personal information found in a Google search of the number, would that make an escort less inclined to consider me as a client?

That's an excellent question in my view - I'll be curious to hear what our service providers have to say about that .....

[Nvr2Thick]

As a client I perform as much research/stalking as I can in order to get comfortable with an escort. While I enjoy being able to discover an escort's personal identity I would never use it against him. Sometimes it's just useful to find that social media profile confirming that the "safe only" escort embraces the bareback lifestyle to its fullest in real life, or finding the circuit party glitter and pink speedo photos of the "str8 rough trade total top."

 

Oddly enough, I usually interpret the totally untraceable escort as a sign of professionalism. If he's managed to keep his private life completely private I view it as an indication of his commitment to discretion.

 

The moment I choose to call an escort I'm taking a big step. The escorts that expect phone calls view this as a sign of a potential client's seriousness. I don't want to call if I have an awful lot of doubts, and I do want to call if I want to encourage honest communication. I also know that a smart escort is likely to start researching me the moment he has my number.

[mattr]

I do a lot of research on potential hires but only look for information on his public escort persona. If he has twitter, tumbler, instagram, facebook, reviews, etc. I will look at them and use the information there to help formulate a hiring decision. I have no interest in learning his real name or, if he has a day job, what his profession might be. This is none of my business and is frankly of little to no interest to me in deciding whether to hire or not. If said escort wants to talk about his personal life I am happy to listen and engage in the conversation but I will share very little information about myself, certainly nothing that could help someone who lacks discretion to find out who I am, where I live, where i work, etc. I prefer initial contact to be via email and if it looks like there is interest on his part we can move on to texting/talking. I use tracfone without blocking the number and will not send a picture to an escort. I always provide my age and always give an accurate physical description of myself. If this level of information is not enough for an escort to feel comfortable with arranging a meeting, then we both move on.

[+ saminseattle]

For about 5 years, I refused to give out my phone number and communicated strictly by email. Apparently, many folks who do this are flakes and fakers, but I was not one of them. In any event, there were a few people I didn’t contact who I otherwise would have and a few people who wouldn’t meet me without a phone number, but for the most part I did not find it to a be a significant obstacle. Having said that, I did acquire a TracFone a few months ago and it has come in handy a couple of times. It’s not too good for long texts, but it is certainly affordable. At the same time, it allows me to maintain a degree of discretion.

[jawjateck]

Oddly enough, I usually interpret the totally untraceable escort as a sign of professionalism. If he's managed to keep his private life completely private I view it as an indication of his commitment to discretion.

 

Uh huh. I hire alot of newbies and always google the number and perform pic searches. I don't care about names, occupations, or personal details. That stuff is irrelevant to me, but I do care about sanity and safety. If guys are clumsy enough to leave a trail that leads to their social media where they post kooky, "whacko" stuff, then I'm wise enough to take the hint and choose another companion, a sane one.

[Frequentflier]

I think the advice to use Google Voice or a prepaid phone that isn't linked to your credit card or other personal information is good. Similarly for email accounts, use a separate one for your hobby. If you've grown to really trust an escort you can decide whether to share your real name. If you d0n't take those precautions, don't be surprised if you are outed. I wouldn't be disappointed or think poorly of any escort doing the same.

[Reluctant Daddy]

Question regarding Google Voice. When it's sent to your phone as either a call or text, does the "from" number show? And when you phone or text from your phone with the GV #, is that the number that shows on the recipient's side?

[ny2222]

Hey Kurtis

Thanks for the very honest answer. I definitely can see your side. I sent you a PM on my view though.

Also you are one very hot dude

 

Steve

[rguer]

Question regarding Google Voice. When it's sent to your phone as either a call or text, does the "from" number show? And when you phone or text from your phone with the GV #, is that the number that shows on the recipient's side?

There's a setting to control whether the number that shows up on your regular phone is your GV number or the caller's number. There's also an option for you to hear part of the message the caller is leaving so you can decide whether the answer, but I don't know how well it works.

 

If you use the Google app to send a text message, your GV number will appear on the caller's phone.

[killianjamesnyc]

The main reason I shy away from app phone numbers is that they are changeable. I've been sent to a hotel for a fake appointment once two years ago, and once was one too many. When someone uses a google voice number and insists on it, it's totally fine, but I'll give them my checking account number for a deposit. Something that's pretty common knowledge in the escorting world is that people absolutely get off on making fake appointments. It's just the reality of it, and in no way should fake meetings be accepted as a "cost of doing business." If I were some hirers I'd be relieved that the escort I want to see is actually careful about who he meets and how he meets them. He has his way of doing things and doesn't bend. If you want to see certain escorts this is just how it is. For me personally, I don't care about any aspects of my clients life they don't chose to share with me. There are no "checks", I don't google people and I don't do any research whatsoever. If you're a decent person and a good guy who treats me well, it makes no difference to me if you have a criminal record, what you do for a living or any other information that doesn't directly impact the quality of our time together. When you meet with me your free to be whoever you'd like. It's about accountability and safety. You can't hold someone accountable and feel safe in your work if they can easily disappear by making a new phone number. I won't change how I do things because it works for me. If I see less clients that okay, because I felt safe, secure and good about the meet ups I did book. If you're a hirer who keeps getting shut down time after time because of your approach, you might want to try something new. Who's behind that email address? Beats me. When someone calls and I hear a voice, the caller now has automatic "potential client credibility." When someone is being super secretive I have been known to just come out and say "For what it's worth, I have zero interest in anything you don't want to share with me, messing with your life will only make my life hell." If I were looking to hire id seriously avoid anyone who conducted thorough screenings of me. I'd take that to mean two things: he's paranoid and/or looking to gather information on me to use against me in the future. There are tons of hot well reviewed guys out there who would never do that.

[+ bashful]

Thanks Killian and Kurtis. My question was not meant to put any of the escorts on the spot. It was simply out of curiosity. Seems we are all trying to stay safe, and proceed in a way that is most comfortable and secure for us.

[MikeyGMin]

Thanks Killian and Kurtis. My question was not meant to put any of the escorts on the spot. It was simply out of curiosity. Seems we are all trying to stay safe, and proceed in a way that is most comfortable and secure for us.

 

And the escort's physical safety needs to be a priority. It takes guts to meet all these strangers and go into strange situations. I might be reckless in how far I go to make a guy comfortable that I'm not a flake or a psycho, but I feel like I am rewarded with easy communication and a relaxed gentleman when we meet up.

[Juan Vancouver]

Something that's pretty common knowledge in the escorting world is that people absolutely get off on making fake appointments. It's just the reality of it, and in no way should fake meetings be accepted as a "cost of doing business."

 

What he said.

 

I won't change how I do things because it works for me. If I see less clients that okay, because I felt safe, secure and good about the meet ups I did book.

 

Amen, brother!

[Mocha]

So I never really start threads but the thread on DEAR RENTMEN, that went really bad and was closed (and I in NO WAY want to resurrect all that!)…

 

http://movshows.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Lazarus-effect-1140x641.jpg

[Mocha]

Ive been away skiing and taking my new 2016 photos so didn't realize my thread was closed nor that this thread was the prequel of it. Otherwise, there's not much more I can add to this thread except for its nice to know all the escorts felt the same way as I would on this subject. Trust me, I've been in situations where I wish I had someone's phone number, but didn't.

n

Even simple stuff like what occurred today. Client was emailing me even after I repeatedly asked him to text me. Now, with him I did meet him before, so I was giving him some leeway. He was coming to my hotel. I gave him room number, but then I had to switch rooms just before he came. I sent him an email because he neglected to text me as INSTRUCTED. Well, he goes and knocks on the room I switched out of, looking dumb as hell. Because he didn't get my email in time. Then wandering around the hotel looking dumber because he didn't call me for DIRECTION. silly shite that could have been easily prevented. Luckily it still worked out.

 

Moral of the story: you can email. Fine. Go ahead, I don't give a fuck. I don't mind at all when clients email.....FOR SOMETHING OUT OF TOWN OR IN ADVANCE. What I don't like is when people email me as a substitute for a phone conversation, or refuse to give the number out at all. It's for mines and the client's protectio

 

I will never meet a client soley off email alone. And I still stand by the fact that certain people abuse rentmen by not giving out their number and discussing everything by email as if I have all the time in the world. And it's just not right because as has been explained, we have absolutely no iDear who's on the other end. It's pretty fucktarded for someone to carry on as if we're long lost buddies thru email. Hell, I don't know em from fucking Adam.

[bigvalboy]

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view5/2546184/rapture-guy-door-close-o.gif

[jawjateck]

I have never had a companion decline to interact or meet with me because I use a GV number. But if he did, no big deal. We just don't meet. Not the end of the world. I have no problem with companions who develop a business plan/protocol and stick to it.

[Reluctant Daddy]

Who would set up a fake meeting, and why would they do something like that? I can understand canceling because nerves, but.......