Offering a discount for a "sob story"?

[AndreFuture]

Hello everyone! I think I'm about a week young on this forum and have learned quite a bit about the business already. I'm hoping I can pick your brains about how I should respond to a current situation I'm facing.

 

A guy messaged me asking if my rate was fixed, and then went on to talk about how he wasn't necessarily looking to get off, but to please me; is a cancer survivor; and only works part time. I'd read from some other escort tips that one should set their rate and generally stick to it, since time is time regardless of what activities happen between escort and the client. I replied that my rates were fixed and that I'd be happy to meet him on the day he suggested.

 

His response: he reiterates that he only works part time, went through a divorce a while back, compliments me, talks about how he find me interesting (as a transgender guy) and wants to get to know me…basically he seems to be doing what he can do arouse my sympathy.

 

As I've mentioned on another post, I'm very new to escorting and don't know all the do's and dont's quite yet, or what kinds of guys to watch out for. My spidey senses are telling me to stand firm with my rates, politely decline, and suggest he might find someone else that can fit his budget (maybe not that last part, if it's too harsh). I already made a poor calculation earlier with seeing a client that was so far away, most of my fee was swallowed up by transportation, so I don't want to short-change myself yet again.

 

How should I say no? Should I even bother asking what price he's thinking of?

[sincitymix]

Hello everyone! I think I'm about a week young on this forum and have learned quite a bit about the business already. I'm hoping I can pick your brains about how I should respond to a current situation I'm facing.

 

A guy messaged me asking if my rate was fixed, and then went on to talk about how he wasn't necessarily looking to get off, but to please me; is a cancer survivor; and only works part time. I'd read from some other escort tips that one should set their rate and generally stick to it, since time is time regardless of what activities happen between escort and the client. I replied that my rates were fixed and that I'd be happy to meet him on the day he suggested.

 

His response: he reiterates that he only works part time, went through a divorce a while back, compliments me, talks about how he find me interesting (as a transgender guy) and wants to get to know me…basically he seems to be doing what he can do arouse my sympathy.

 

As I've mentioned on another post, I'm very new to escorting and don't know all the do's and dont's quite yet, or what kinds of guys to watch out for. My spidey senses are telling me to stand firm with my rates, politely decline, and suggest he might find someone else that can fit his budget (maybe not that last part, if it's too harsh). I already made a poor calculation earlier with seeing a client that was so far away, most of my fee was swallowed up by transportation, so I don't want to short-change myself yet again.

 

How should I say no? Should I even bother asking what price he's thinking of?

 

You could point out he only works part time, and just went through a divorce.. that his time and money would be better spent not on an escort. With limited financial resources, he could be digging himself a hole that will be hard to fill. I would also let him know that it sounds like he is looking for emotional support, which would be best found elsewhere. he could also be looking for a freebie.

[stop]

I got red flags just reading what you wrote. there is something about what hey is asking/saying that just sets off alarm bells. I say steer clear of him he is bad news.

 

that said. don't lower your rate. it would be one thing to throw an extra hour for free after you met him. but once you drop it that becomes your rate with him. don't diminish your worth.

 

I also agree with sincitymix he is probably spending money on the wrong things right now.

[AndreFuture]

Thanks, I appreciate your responses sincitymix and jeepo. I really wasn't interested in lowering my rate and I got not quite good vibes from his message. I'm glad to know it wasn't just me.

[rvwnsd]

Like the two other posters, I am getting a bad feeling from this guy. You should hold firm on your rates. In fact, my suggestion is to decline the appointment. You could probably say something like "Hey, I don't think we are a good match" and leave it at that.

[AndreFuture]

I would also let him know that it sounds like he is looking for emotional support, which would be best found elsewhere.

 

Also, for the record, I am open to providing emotional support to clients in general, and kind of advertise that as part of my skill set (through BFE). Am I wrong in thinking escorting can include that emotional/non-sexual connection as well?

[sincitymix]

Also, for the record, I am open to providing emotional support to clients in general, and kind of advertise that as part of my skill set (through BFE). Am I wrong in thinking escorting can include that emotional/non-sexual connection as well?

emotional support in a BFE is different then the emotional support this guy is looking for, I think.

[mike carey]

A few examples include the guy who gets a divorce every other month and the guy who has 9 birthdays a year ( 2 in the same month ).

What were they thinking!?!

[LADoug1]

Hello everyone! I think I'm about a week young on this forum and have learned quite a bit about the business already.

I think it's great that you're part of the forum and already appreciate how helpful it can be. You sound like a smart, savvy guy who's sweet as well. Bet you're going to become a first class escort.

[tanman4u]

Don't lower your rates. Stand firm on it.

 

A few examples include the guy who gets a divorce every other month and the guy who has 9 birthdays a year ( 2 in the same month ).

 

I know a bartender who used to have a birthday every Tuesday. Locals knew about and loved coming in and yelling out Happy Birthday to him, and visitors always overtipped because they thought he was working on his birthday.

[+ Truereview]

Ditto on the "trust your instincts" and "stand firm on rate." Don't book it.

 

Btw, I don't think this has been said yet....WELCOME TO THE FORUM!

[+ poolboy48220]

A few examples include the guy who gets a divorce every other month and the guy who has 9 birthdays a year ( 2 in the same month ).

A co-worker would take days off because of her grandmother's funeral. She went through a LOT of grandmothers in one year.

[Rudynate]

People often don' t value things they receive for ltitle or no money.

[+ Cash4Trash]

Emotional manipulation - run quickly in the opposite direction.

[Jock123]

Never lower Your rate. Speaking from Experience it never works out Anyways. What I found most Interesting about Lowering my rate In the past Is those who were Paying Less were ALWAYS the more Difficult ones to Deal with. In Retrospect they Probably cant afford it so they want to make sure they "Get their Moneys worth". However as mentioned If You're In Financial Hardship already You Probably shouldnt be Hiring an Escort In the first place.

[rvwnsd]

People often don't value things they receive for little or no money.

 

Excellent point. The flip side is that lowering your rate would indicate YOU don't value yourself.

[AndreFuture]

Thank you all again for your suggestions. I responded to him by reaffirming that my rate was fixed and suggested he might want to save his money instead if he has such a limited income. He thanked me for my advice and said I sounded like I was sensible. I guess all's well that ends well

[jimboivyo]

if you discount your rates, you're doing yourself a great dis service

 

if guys want to see you, they have to be able to afford to see you

[bigvalboy]

Emotional manipulation - run quickly in the opposite direction.

 

+1...

[MikeyGMin]

Also, don't fall for the "only interested in pleasing you" line. It's called "servicing" and it's something many guys are into. When I want to service a hot guy, I am very much getting a desire fulfilled. Even though he may be the recipient of all the attention, the escort is working.

[tanman4u]

A co-worker would take days off because of her grandmother's funeral. She went through a LOT of grandmothers in one year.

 

From an episode of M*A*S*H when Klinger was trying to get out of the Army ..........

 

"Henry (pulling out Klinger's file): Here we go. Father dying, right?

 

Klinger: Yes, sir.

 

Henry (going through letters in Klinger's file): Father dying, last year. Mother dying, last year. Mother and father dying. Mother, father and older sister dying. Mother dying and older sister pregnant. Older sister dying and mother pregnant. Younger sister pregnant and older sister dying. Here's an oldie but a goodie: half of the family dying, other half pregnant. (puts file down) Klinger aren't you ashamed of yourself?

 

Klinger: Yes sir. I don't deserve to be in the Army. "

[+ Charlie]

You sound like a very sweet, sensitive person--so stop it! You are offering a professional service to strangers, so you need to decide what providing that service is worth to you, and stick to it. If you want to help people like this guy, become a volunteer sex therapist.

[AdamSmith]

Also, for the record, I am open to providing emotional support to clients in general, and kind of advertise that as part of my skill set (through BFE). Am I wrong in thinking escorting can include that emotional/non-sexual connection as well?

Absolutely it can. Many clients here (e.g., yours truly) often find that part to be as important as the physical connection. For that very reason, the entirely legitimate likening of escort services to other kinds of therapy is a good reminder that your fee is one of the things that help structure the relationship so as to maintain healthy boundaries, for both people. (And I say that as one who believes genuine deep friendships certainly can develop between client and escort, something discussed in many illuminating threads here.)

[AndreFuture]

Absolutely it can. Many clients here (e.g., yours truly) often find that part to be as important as the physical connection. For that very reason, the entirely legitimate likening of escort services to other kinds of therapy is a good reminder that your fee is one of the things that help structure the relationship so as to maintain healthy boundaries, for both people. (And I say that as one who believes genuine deep friendships certainly can develop between client and escort, something discussed in many illuminating threads here.)

 

That's a very good point. I wouldn't go to a clinic or physical therapist haggling in the doorway.

[stop]

Don't lower your rates. Stand firm on it.

 

I'll provide discounts for regular clients as a FFD. But you will run into folks who will try and take advantage of your emotional side to give you a discounted rate. Though a few of 'em aren't exactly the sharpest nail in the board and will contact you multiple times with the same story. A few examples include the guy who gets a divorce every other month and the guy who has 9 birthdays a year ( 2 in the same month ).

 

Wait what??? We get a birthday discount with you! Lol. And how old that guy with the multiple birthdays must be. Most people want to skip birthdays after a certain age not have more of them.