So I don't like his face...

[dcguy20]

I think a simple "thank you" should suffice if you feel uncomfortable by not sending a response. I have guys open their private photos on Rentmen without a request from me to open them. If they in turn ask if I'm interested, I just say I'm looking a profiles and leave it at that.

[ChrisWydeman]

If you don't like his face you could always buy him a new one

[Cliff]

Omg, TrueReview, I would never say "I am attracted to your body but not your face." IMO, I find that terribly cruel. Is there any reason one would say to anyone, for any reason, in any situation, that their face is unappealing? Holy crap! I think a simple "My plans have changed" lets him know the date is off, and spares the guy any bad feelings.

[LADoug1]

Knowing how much escorts and clients love radio silence, I think you should send him an email and say something like "Thank you for your time, but I don't think we are a match."

If you feel you want to reply (which in my opinion is common courtesy) this is the way. If he's astute he's going to know that the face pic was a deal-breaker. It's pretty obvious.

[LADoug1]

Okay, so the face is the biggest factor for me when hiring. No matter how much I'm into a guy's body, if I'm not attracted to the face, I can't get horny for the guy.

 

So! I contacted a new guy with incredibly sexy torso only shots. Since his ad stated to feel free to ask for more pictures, I did and got some pictures of his face and... I'm not attracted. So... Not liking it when other's go silent on me, is there a way to let him know the face makes not to want to book without saying it like that (and basically sounding like a douche).

 

He did ask to see my face pic first when I asked if he kissed with tongue.

On my own initiative I usually send a full body and face pic to an escort when I ask about hiring. Full disclosure. I would however be concerned if an escort asked me for it.

[MikeyGMin]

On my own initiative I usually send a full body and face pic to an escort when I ask about hiring. Full disclosure. I would however be concerned if an escort asked me for it.

 

This made me smile. I do the same -- early in the process -- and I wonder if it's for the same reason. Partly to let them know I'm a pretty standard client. Of course I'm older. That's why I can afford to do this. Height and weight is proportional, but gravity has taken its toll. I shouldn't be a problem for any pro, but if I am, I want to give them time to make an excuse that isn't going to pound my self-esteem (much.). If the excuse came right after they requested a picture, it would be too obvious.

 

I just don't have the need for secrecy/discretion that so many folks here have. I like to host, so the guy is coming to my house. In all the years I've been hiring, I've never had a single problem with a guy knowing my name and address. Maybe I should be knocking on wood.

[+ Truereview]

Omg, TrueReview, I would never say "I am attracted to your body but not your face." IMO, I find that terribly cruel. Is there any reason one would say to anyone, for any reason, in any situation, that their face is unappealing? Holy crap! I think a simple "My plans have changed" lets him know the date is off, and spares the guy any bad feelings.

I respect your opinion, Cliff. Thanks for sharing it. To me, veiling the truth with avoidance or thinly disguising it is far more cruel. I appreciate the intent in your values - to spare others from your own thoughts. I realize my approach doesn't meet the social standards of others, and I'm ok with that. After serving 37 years on this earth, I know I'm kind, thoughtful, compassionate, and definitely not cruel. My truth-telling is an informed choice and it is not meant for everyone. I wholeheartedly disagree with your assessment but respect it. Best, TR

I decided to use a variation of TrueReview's phrasing, but instead of mentioning his face, I said he's not my type. I think radio silence would've been better, somehow I feel I couldn't make this situation not rude, no matter what I did.

I don't know what it's like in the US, but my anecdotal experience here in Europe is that radio silence almost seems to be the norm on both sides.

Glad you decided to close the loop,Wolfer! I'm also glad that you found some value in my message and then tailored it to your needs and style.

[jawjateck]

Hmmmm....interesting discussion......I'm thinking of some of the feelings/reactions that have occasionally been voiced here by clients who were rejected by a provider for physical incompatibility. In most cases, the provider is excoriated for such conduct.

[+ Truereview]

Hmmmm....interesting discussion......I'm thinking of some of the feelings/reactions that have occasionally been voiced here by clients who were rejected by a provider for physical incompatibility. In most cases, the provider is excoriated for such conduct.

Good angle. I think $ plays into that, JJT. I think folks tend to think that bc the escort is being paid for companionship, he loses his right to refuse business based on looks. I'm torn on that subject myself although my inclination is that the escort should choose based on all possible facts that can help him deliver a good experience for his client - faking it is less than a desirable good client experience. I rather deal with the pain of the escort rejecting me.

[+ quoththeraven]

Hmmmm....interesting discussion......I'm thinking of some of the feelings/reactions that have occasionally been voiced here by clients who were rejected by a provider for physical incompatibility. In most cases, the provider is excoriated for such conduct.

 

Jumping off from jawja's comments: While I understand the desire to be open and honest, this is not the time to do it. Escorts have feelings too. Do not, under any circumstances, mention his looks. In fact, it might be kinder simply not to follow up. Most escorts who are good enough to pique your interest get enough inquiries that they may not even notice that you didn't get back to them.

 

If you absolutely must follow up and honesty is important to you, make it something vague but truthful. Personally, I prefer that to an outright lie, but this is one area where it's not inappropriate to use a little white lie to spare someone's feelings. It's not as though telling him his face was a deal-breaker is going to encourage him to make face pics more broadly available or change anything. Barring plastic surgery, he's stuck with that face for life.

 

Only admit the face pic was the deciding factor if he corners you and asks.

[Kevin Slater]

Maybe I should be knocking on wood.

 

Sounds like you're knocking on plenty of wood as it is... (Rim shot)

 

Kevin Slater

[Juan Vancouver]

I know I am late too the party and you already responded, but nevertheless, here I go:

 

Personally, I think it is just common courtesy to always close the loop. You can do so in a kind yet direct way. Here is how I would express it: I found your profile and your body pics very appealing. Thank you for sending me your face pic(s). I'm not finding myself attracted to your face, and for that, I'm sorry. I hope you can understand and thank you for your time.

 

I would like to recommend against that. Whether or not escorts are also human and may (or may not) have feelings, I would suggest never to write this in case you are dealing with a dramatic, over reactive, aggressive boy who will take offence and will harass you afterwards. No need to sow sower grapes. Impeccability is an expensive luxury is someone else has to pay the price, and even worse if being "impeccable" opens the door for unnecessary drama. If saying those words makes you feel pious, then say them out loud and then write something like:

 

"Thanks for the pic, you're a great looking guy. But it so happens you're the spitting image of my _____! I'm sure you understand that would make it awkward for me."

 

And you may add: "I wish you much success. Have a great night." (That way the conversation is over.)

 

Discretion is a must in this kind of business. Good for him if he gets client's pictures but I don't think he can't afford to be picky on his clients because of many of them (in this grindr era where young in shape men get free sex without trouble) will be old(er) and out of shape like many of us are.

 

I know this is a different subject but it is precisely because of Ginder and Scruff that ALL men are finding really hard to get laid and end up resorting to professionals. It would appear an over abundance of options would make getting laid easier, but studies have shown that the more options one has to make a decision the harder to make this decision becomes.

 

In other words, nobody is getting laid.

 

to me only one thing matters when it comes to kissing, no bad breath!

 

I am with you there! Give me fresh breath, minty, clean, and I am in heaven!

[marylander1940]

 

 

I know this is a different subject but it is precisely because of Ginder and Scruff that ALL men are finding really hard to get laid and end up resorting to professionals. It would appear an over abundance of options would make getting laid easier, but studies have shown that the more options one has to make a decision the harder to make this decision becomes.

 

In other words, nobody is getting laid.

 

I agree with you!

 

I have younger gay men who complaint about so much teasing and waste of time going on...

 

Manhunt was different, you had to sit down and type, or move on and do something else, you could have multitasked while online, but you had to sit in front of your laptop and reply to messages to try to get laid. Immediately after MH became available for smart phone, the flakiness started to increase. Now many guys are on grindr not to get laid but just in case, and they tease and get teased, play games and have them played on them over and over again.

[+ Truereview]

I know I am late too the party and you already responded, but nevertheless, here I go:

 

I would like to recommend against that. Whether or not escorts are also human and may (or may not) have feelings, I would suggest never to write this in case you are dealing with a dramatic, over reactive, aggressive boy who will take offence and will harass you afterwards. No need to sow sower grapes. Impeccability is an expensive luxury is someone else has to pay the price, and even worse if being "impeccable" opens the door for unnecessary drama. If saying those words makes you feel pious, then say them out loud and then write something like:

 

 

 

And you may add: "I wish you much success. Have a great night." (That way the conversation is over.)

 

 

 

I know this is a different subject but it is precisely because of Ginder and Scruff that ALL men are finding really hard to get laid and end up resorting to professionals. It would appear an over abundance of options would make getting laid easier, but studies have shown that the more options one has to make a decision the harder to make this decision becomes.

 

In other words, nobody is getting laid.

 

 

 

I am with you there! Give me fresh breath, minty, clean, and I am in heaven!

 

Juan, I'm somewhat disappointed. Your intent is appreciated but please, if you will quote me, I kindly ask you bring something new, relevant, and interesting to the table. Read thru DtB's post above - he already made your point on ensuing "drama." QTR already covered the humanity aspect. I've also already explained my PoV. Anyone else in here, I would cut them a break, but your intellect requires more respect.

 

I'm intrigued by your angle on being pious and impeccable. Although if you do opt to shed some light on that, I would appreciate 50 words or less for your answer please...I tend to get lost in your prolific, and at times, vitriolic style. Respectfully, - TR

 

PS - feel free to PM me if you choose to answer - no need to bore others.

[Juan Vancouver]

Truereview,

 

As someone rightfully told me once in this very forum, you can't be be both condescendingly insulting and respectful. The way you write to me and about me are the epitome of disrespectful. You can't do both. I was once advised to stick to one. I have to agree. It feels better.

 

You say you are -somewhat- disappointed with my post as if these were news worth sharing, but my man, you seem to find fault in each and every one of them. I get it, I insulted someone you care about I insulted someone who has a similar style to you and now I am the devil. Fine. You don't waste an opportunity to find fatal flaws in my arguments and my character, even if you word it mellifluously as kind concern. Fine. It's your right. I have to be honest, though, I don't come here to participate in childish High School mean girls feuds. Even though that is -no doubt- totally fetch.

 

You constantly talk about how you live your life for kindness and grace, I beg you, bestow upon me some of that kindness and ignore me.

 

And no, thank you for your invitation of private dialogue, but I don't come here to spar with strangers online.

 

Block my posts, if you need, just spare me your "respectful" constant criticism.

 

Thank you!

[+ Truereview]

Truereview,

 

As someone rightfully told me once in this very forum, you can't be be both condescendingly insulting and respectful. The way you write to me and about me are the epitome of disrespectful. You can't do both. I was once advised to stick to one. I have to agree. It feels better.

 

You say you are -somewhat- disappointed with my post as if these were news worth sharing, but my man, you seem to find fault in each and every one of them. I get it, I insulted someone you care about I insulted someone who has a similar style to you and now I am the devil. Fine. You don't waste an opportunity to find fatal flaws in my arguments and my character, even if you word it mellifluously as kind concern. Fine. It's your right. I have to be honest, though, I don't come here to participate in childish High School mean girls feuds. Even though that is -no doubt- totally fetch.

 

You constantly talk about how you live your life for kindness and grace, I beg you, bestow upon me some of that kindness and ignore me.

 

And no, thank you for your invitation of private dialogue, but I don't come here to spar with strangers online.

 

Block my posts, if you need, just spare me your "respectful" constant criticism.

 

Thank you!

Done.

[mike carey]

I fail to see a problem with repeating points that someone else has already made in a forum. Many of us have formed views on the value of various interlocutors' opinions. When a variety of ideas have been offered, seeing some restated by someone we trust raises our level of confidence in the idea. Regardless of that, everyone brings different nuance to what is said, and that has a value in itself.

[Nvr2Thick]

To be honest, I felt it was gonna be like pulling teeth setting up anything anyway. I'd asked three questions initially (fee, kissing, facepics) and he responded only to one question (kissing, I re-asked the other questions and he only responded with facepics, no rate quoted...)

And he seems to keep doing that: only responding to one question per message. An endless back and forth can get tiresome.

 

Boy, how many times have I been in this situation and then been accused of wasting the escort's time with too many e-mails.

[rvwnsd]

...To be honest, I felt it was gonna be like pulling teeth setting up anything anyway. I'd asked three questions initially (fee, kissing, facepics) and he responded only to one question (kissing, I re-asked the other questions and he only responded with facepics, no rate quoted...)

And he seems to keep doing that: only responding to one question per message. An endless back and forth can get tiresome.

 

I wonder if you would have given the escort a shot, despite not being attracted to his face, if he had responded to all three of your questions in a nicely worded email.

[Wolfer]

I wonder if you would have given the escort a shot, despite not being attracted to his face, if he had responded to all three of your questions in a nicely worded email.

Maybe, maybe not. The face is a major factor for me in deciding whether to hire or not. I think he would've not only have had to written a nicely worded email but one that also oozed likability and personality, that might have (ever so slightly) increased the chances of hiring him.

While it is rare to have personalities shine through like that pure in messages, my first escort had this trait. His personality shone through from the very first texts he sent. So it can happen.

[rvwnsd]

Maybe, maybe not. The face is a major factor for me in deciding whether to hire or not. I think he would've not only have had to written a nicely worded email but one that also oozed likability and personality, that might have (ever so slightly) increased the chances of hiring him.

While it is rare to have personalities shine through like that pure in messages, my first escort had this trait. His personality shone through from the very first texts he sent. So it can happen.

 

My experience has been that personalities often shine through in messages. Something else worth pondering, although you can't answer the question, is whether his photographs appear the way they do as a result of his personality.

[liubit]

A little late in the game....To me, face is important, although not necessarily a deal breaker. I have given guys the benefit of the doubt when I have found their face not totally repulsive and their other qualities attractive. More often than not, I have been pleasantly surprised. I think that, many times, face pics can be terribly deceiving. They cannot always fully reflect certain expressions, like a smile, a gesture, a pout, that can turn a somehow ordinary face into something a lot prettier and alluring. By the same token, a face that looks gorgeous in a pic can be ruined by an unpleasant frown or a certain look......

[+ Truereview]

A little late in the game....To me, face is important, although not necessarily a deal breaker. I have given guys the benefit of the doubt when I have found their face not totally repulsive and their other qualities attractive. More often than not, I have been pleasantly surprised. I think that, many times, face pics can be terribly deceiving. They cannot always fully reflect certain expressions, like a smile, a gesture, a pout, that can turn a somehow ordinary face into something a lot prettier and alluring. By the same token, a face that looks gorgeous in a pic can be ruined by an unpleasant frown or a certain look......

I could not agree with you more, Liubit. If an escort has attributes I find attractive, I typically hire the escort, pay 1 hour to get to know them, get a feel for them and see if we spark together. I do this even if I feel unsure about an image/photo or a profile comment. This allows me to check out the real person not an image. Since I can be brutally and unapologetically direct, this practice has helped curb my idiosyncrasy. I'm constantly surprised at how handsome some people are once you see and talk with them in person. I'm also glad to have an escape plan in case the guy turns out to be hot but really cray-cray