Is it the norm for guys to play these kinds of games with escorts

[Mocha]

I know rentboy is in the center spotlight right now, but beside that headache nagging at me, I've got other headaches knocking at my door (literally). I'm not talking about the usual people who call our ads or what not, but I'm talking about people who happen to know or find out. One I voluntarily told, the other I met on a phone app, in which he then seen my ad on adam4adam (part of the reason I'm considering to stop advertising on Adam where I live, not to mention it doesn't work in Denver for shit anyway).

 

Just today, I've had 2 possibilities of a Friday night "date". I got stood up by both. One has been talking to me for weeks before we finally meet, made tentative plans today...only to meet in person and made an excuse, left immediately, only to come with another lame excuse. The other guy, we had plans this week as well, and he said something about weird dreams, and then a statement about going to dinner with friends...the same night we had something planned. Not to mention, In an unrelated event last weekend, I had a client who sent his hot torso pic to me, call my ad, walk up to my door...and then made off like he wasn't interested when I opened.

 

This is just getting stupid. And the 2 instances where they came to my place makes me and them look really suspicious. I don't know if I'm creating the shit or what...or if it's just a bad week. But I've not had this happen often. But, I don't know if people do these things either out of spite or just nerves or just being a coward. I can't really say if I wasn't an escort if it'd be different, but it feels like it's being done out of disrespect.

[+ José Soplanucas]

I do not know all the details of your case, Mocha, and I am going to assume that the pictures in your ad are authentic and a good representation of what you look like in person. I guess you just had bad luck, and caught insecure or rude clients in a raw. I myself have walked away from appointments, some times in my place, some times at the escorts', because reality did not match the pictures, someting in the manners, or in the voice, or any of the countless little detailed not even a good picture can document. But I always did tell the escort why, without making lame excuses.

Even with real pictures, sometimes chemistry just does not work once you are face to face. It is a shame if the clients cannot be honest about it.

[bigvalboy]

My attitude is, if the escort has properly represented himself in all aspects, and it is just a matter of chemistry when we first me, and I feel that it is best not to go through with the appointment, whether or not I go to him or he comes to me, I briefly and as graciously as possible explain what I perceive to be the problem, and pay the man the full fee due to him. Chemistry is a shot in the dark, but I feel that falls on me. It hasn't happened often, but when it does, I personally feel better knowing I haven't stiffed him.

[+ Keith30309]

This cuts both ways: As a client I've been stood-up 3 times in the last 6 months, twice left sitting at restaurants waiting for a companion who never showed up and having to apologize to the waitstaff and walk away red-faced. I agree with Mocha's sentiment that is a lack of respect and, fortunately, not the norm. (For what it's worth they were all under 25.)

[+ purplekow]

I, for one, would leave if the man in the photos and the man behind the door on not one and the same. After that, chemistry, shemistry, I can fuck a piece of knotty pine once. Not surprisingly to me, some encounters which start out bland turn out to be a grand randy experience. And if not, i am still out the fee, but at least I am a bit less horny than when I walked in the door.

[+ purplekow]

The closest I came to leaving an encounter was with a well reviewed escort who told me to meet him on a street corner near his doorman apartment. Once I was in his sights, he texted me and told me what he was wearing and that I was to follow him about 10 paces behind and through a service door and up a service elevator to his floor where he would be in hall waiting having gone up by the main elevator. I was then to turn in the opposite direction from where he was standing and walk down the hall away from the direction he was walking. I was then to return and retrace his steps and knock on the door which was ajar. And he would let me inside. Now if had told me this before the encounter, I would have said no, but this was so strange, that I decided to play it out. When I got in to his apartment, he said he needed to do this to minimize suspicion regarding his job. After, I arrived, he gave me very explicit instructions on cleaning up for him and how to work the rather common faucet. He had a handsome face, a great muscular body and he knew how to use his ass, but I never hired him again. There is strange and then there is too fucking strange.

[Mocha]

The closest I came to leaving an encounter was with a well reviewed escort who told me to meet him on a street corner near his doorman apartment. Once I was in his sights, he texted me and told me what he was wearing and that I was to follow him about 10 paces behind and through a service door and up a service elevator to his floor where he would be in hall waiting having gone up by the main elevator. I was then to turn in the opposite direction from where he was standing and walk down the hall away from the direction he was walking. I was then to return and retrace his steps and knock on the door which was ajar. And he would let me inside. Now if had told me this before the encounter, I would have said no, but this was so strange, that I decided to play it out. When I got in to his apartment, he said he needed to do this to minimize suspicion regarding his job. After, I arrived, he gave me very explicit instructions on cleaning up for him and how to work the rather common faucet. He had a handsome face, a great muscular body and he knew how to use his ass, but I never hired him again. There is strange and then there is too fucking strange.

 

Sounds like my crazy meth addict X boyfriend who was an erotic masseur. Crazy and sketchy as FUCK. I live in a conservative state, in a conservative town, in a even more conservative part of town which is in an even more conservative area of town with super conservative neighbors. All my clients have been directed to walk up, or I meet them downstairs (rarely). I could give a bunch of fucks about discretion, as the above sounds quite obvious lol.

 

IDK, I'm just so sick of everything, BTW, these instances were not all clients. 2 were just guys for my personal life. I'm starting to wonder if the paths of Tygerscent and Dane Scott are what I should stick to: they don't date...they just consider clients as the complete package. And I wish I could...but I just can't. I need to have a person who I'm 100% attracted to, who understands. Why's it so fucking hard I don't even know why. But...I'm leaving my home and traveling the country for many days in September, to try and bring some closure and figure out where I'll be most accepted.

[Frequentflier]

Sounds like my crazy meth addict X boyfriend who was an erotic masseur. Crazy and sketchy as FUCK. I live in a conservative state, in a conservative town, in a even more conservative part of town which is in an even more conservative area of town with super conservative neighbors. All my clients have been directed to walk up, or I meet them downstairs (rarely). I could give a bunch of fucks about discretion, as the above sounds quite obvious lol.

 

IDK, I'm just so sick of everything, BTW, these instances were not all clients. 2 were just guys for my personal life. I'm starting to wonder if the paths of Tygerscent and Dane Scott are what I should stick to: they don't date...they just consider clients as the complete package. And I wish I could...but I just can't. I need to have a person who I'm 100% attracted to, who understands. Why's it so fucking hard I don't even know why. But...I'm leaving my home and traveling the country for many days in September, to try and bring some closure and figure out where I'll be most accepted.

 

Am I correct that in another post you said you're living in Denver? Is Colorado a conservative state and Denver a conservative town? Maybe they are, just wondering. From what I read about the politics there its a toss up. Or maybe, by saying conservative, you're not referring to politics but peoples view towards escorting there?

[Mocha]

Am I correct that in another post you said you're living in Denver? Is Colorado a conservative state and Denver a conservative town? Maybe they are, just wondering. From what I read about the politics there its a toss up. Or maybe, by saying conservative, you're not referring to politics but peoples view towards escorting there?

 

That's correct. Ummm, I think in general it is conservative. I don't really know the exact qualifications politically that define conservative or not..,but here I know it's a lot of families, and the looks and attitude people give when I've mentioned something about escorting has been less than welcoming.

 

The state itself is conservative. The only part of Denver that isn't conservative is the downtown area, and that's because the tourist and people who may have moved from other areas. I live in the suburbs, and there's just no social life here. You have to had known people thru work or school. Just randomly talking to someone here doesn't work. There's also the aspect that erotic massage guys who charge under $100 seem to do pretty well here, but many escorts don't last or move on.

 

It's also where people here move from. Its usually the neighboring states which are very conservative.

[+ Lance_Navarro]

Sounds like my crazy meth addict X boyfriend who was an erotic masseur. Crazy and sketchy as FUCK. I live in a conservative state, in a conservative town, in a even more conservative part of town which is in an even more conservative area of town with super conservative neighbors. All my clients have been directed to walk up, or I meet them downstairs (rarely). I could give a bunch of fucks about discretion, as the above sounds quite obvious lol.

 

IDK, I'm just so sick of everything, BTW, these instances were not all clients. 2 were just guys for my personal life. I'm starting to wonder if the paths of Tygerscent and Dane Scott are what I should stick to: they don't date...they just consider clients as the complete package. And I wish I could...but I just can't. I need to have a person who I'm 100% attracted to, who understands. Why's it so fucking hard I don't even know why. But...I'm leaving my home and traveling the country for many days in September, to try and bring some closure and figure out where I'll be most accepted.

 

Mocha, your life can be whatever you want it to be. If you want to have a personal relationship and professional relationships, you can. I've been with my partner for over 4 years. He doesn't work in the industry, but he very much supports and believes in the quality and value of my work. It does mean that I have to put him first, which means I don't take last minute appointments when we are spending time together, and I also don't spending weeks at a time on the road. I knew that when I started in sex-work that a guy would have to be incredibly confident and secure in order to date me, but that's not a bad thing. As long as you live with joy, confidence, and integrity, you can and will attract that as well.

[Gar1eth]

I'm sure women can be flaky too. But I know by report that it's not just gay men. I had a friend (female) who was separating from her husband. She was using the POF website (Plenty Of Fish) to try to meet guys. She was stood up several times when guys never showed up for their 1st meeting.

 

Gman