Do I tell an escort that I know he also advertises as a transvestite?

[hwic04]

Here's the situation. I have an appointment with an extremely good looking twink escort. He personifies the term "pretty boy". He is somewhat slender but with a cut, muscular physique.

 

Before making the appointment I googled his phone number doing a basic check on the guy. One link led me to ads he had posted (two years old) and reviews (less than one year old) of him pictured in drag using a different (of course female) name. His ads featured a series of photos showing him - in a blond wig, dress, makeup, etc. - partying at a nightclub.

 

I've never been with a transvestite, but those pictures have tempted me. So I have some questions. At any point do I reveal that I know he has an alter ego and that I'd like to hire him in that capacity, too? Would that offend him? How would I go about asking? How seriously do guys take themselves when in drag? If I ever were to see him in that dress and blond wig do I ever acknowledge a previous meeting?

 

Appreciate your advice, guys.

[AdamSmith]

If he's not running any ads that way at present, might be best to finish one or two meetings with him straight-vanilla, get to know each other a little bit, before deciding how and whether to bring it up.

[rvwnsd]

If he's not running any ads that way at present, might be best to finish one or two meetings with him straight-vanilla, get to know each other a little bit, before deciding how and whether to bring it up.

I agree. No sense polluting your current session with old news.

[tyro]

Mr. Smith and Mr. Alphabet Soup (just kidding, R!) speak wisely.

T

[Juan Vancouver]

I think it would be wise to have your first session and connect. If you like him, there's nothing wrong with letting him know that you stumbled upon those pictures of him in drag and tell him you were really turned on by them.

 

Impossible to know how seriously would ALL men take themselves when in drag, but I can tell you for sure that they would all love to know you like them and found them sexy and attractive.

 

He might laugh it off and move on but there is a chance (if you are cool about it) that he might agree to meet you in drag the next time.

 

It's totally worth the risk. Sounds super hot.

[OneFinger]

Is a drag queen the same as a transvestite?

[Nebost]

I agree it would be really hot to have the escort as a transvestite, to turn on this intimate alter-ego of someone you are very attracted to. I hope it works out for you.

 

Is a drag queen the same as a transvestite?

 

I'd say drag queen is a subset of transvestite on that is particularily outlandish and usually performs. There are some transvestites that just feel comfortable in normal everday women's clothes.

[caliguy]

Is a drag queen the same as a transvestite?

I didn't even think people still used that term.

[Guy Fawkes]

How about honesty? "Saw your photo and wondered if you still dress up?"

[corndog]

Is a drag queen the same as a transvestite?

 

I'm no expert, but I think that usually a "drag queen" is an entertainer who may or may not actually identify as transgender. The tradition of Drag has been a staple of the now-fading gay subculture, and although it may have started with transgender roots, it grew into an over-the-top sendup of overdone femaleness. I've met a couple of professional drag performers who don't seem to live that lifestyle, but are really handsome, almost butch, men when out of drag. I believe that Bianca Del Rio has described herself as merely a modern "clown." And, Dame Edna, one of the most famous drag queens, was a character created by a straight man.

 

Transvestites, as I understand it, are men who enjoy, or have a fetish for, dressing in women's clothing. Although I'm sure many transvestites are gay, it is also quite common for transvestites to be straight.

 

People who identify as "transgender" usually feel that they were born with the wrong sexual organs, and are naturally the opposite gender than they were assigned at birth. The term "transexual," as I understand it, refers to transgender people who proceed to have sexual reassignment surgery or hormone therapy.

[RockyHardon]

I have a femmeboy friend who also works as a 'TGirl". This is the appropriate term. I would do my straight vanilla date, and then afterwards let them know that you have an interest in cross-dressers and TGirls, and if they know of anyone who they would recommend to you. If they are open to working as a "T", they will let you know you can have a date that way. Many TGirls work as both boys and girls to raise the funds to transition to girl. Once they get breast implants and other work, they work exclusively as TGirls.

[Rudynate]

A drag queen might be a transvestite, but not necessarily. As I have always understood "transvestite," it is someone who is turned on sexually by wearing clothing of the opposite sex. So a drag queen with that motivation obviously would be a transvestite. But a lot of drag queens do it for sheer fun and/or it's a creative outlet for them. I always admire the imagination and creativity that drag queens show in designing their looks. I once saw a drag queen dressed in a conservative tailored women's suit, and conservative black pumps and sheer stockings, and her hair was done up in a neat bun. She was walking around with a tasteful black purse clutched to her chest, looking for all the world like an ultra-professional business woman of the day. It was the most ingenious drag look I ever saw.

[RockyHardon]

A drag queen might be a transvestite, but not necessarily. As I have always understood "transvestite," it is someone who is turned on sexually by wearing clothing of the opposite sex. So a drag queen with that motivation obviously would be a transvestite. But a lot of drag queens do it for sheer fun and/or it's a creative outlet for them. .

 

Never use the phrase "Drag Queen" with any T-Girl or Cross-Dresser UNLESS you know they are a performer in club or they only dress for camp effect like on Halloween...Calling a TGirl a drag queen is actually an insult in the Transgender world. "Transvestite" is a term in the DSM manuals and it is characterized by a man who is turned on wearing womens clothing (mostly lingerie). For this reason, you should never call a TGirl a 'transvestite' either. Most of us gay boys are so anti anything feminine that we don't even know the terms to use for the LGBT community members who actually are most significant for many of the rights and privileges the gay community has. It is the femmeboy and TGirls who are visibly gay, who let the world know that there are really gay people around...the straight acting types pass and the world doesn't have to acknowlege gay reality.

[Rudynate]

Never use the phrase "Drag Queen" with any T-Girl or Cross-Dresser UNLESS you know they are a performer in club or they only dress for camp effect like on Halloween...Calling a TGirl a drag queen is actually an insult in the Transgender world. "Transvestite" is a term in the DSM manuals and it is characterized by a man who is turned on wearing womens clothing (mostly lingerie). For this reason, you should never call a TGirl a 'transvestite' either. Most of us gay boys are so anti anything feminine that we don't even know the terms to use for the LGBT community members who actually are most significant for many of the rights and privileges the gay community has. It is the femmeboy and TGirls who are visibly gay, who let the world know that there are really gay people around...the straight acting types pass and the world doesn't have to acknowlege gay reality.

 

 

I think it would be obvious to anyone who gave it a moment of thought that the it would be dismissive to refer to a T-girl as a drag queen. The two are worlds apart.

[Odinochka]

Is a drag queen the same as a transvestite?

 

No, they are not. Transvestism is actually a type of paraphilia where a man derives some degree of physical or psychological stimulation from assuming the appearance of the opposite gender. Most male transvestites are heterosexual (i.e. Eddie Izzard). Drag queens are gay men who wear women's clothing for generally performances in public and they see the drag creation as a character...although some are called "LIDs"--Live In Drag. LIDs frequently are men who are on the road somewhere towards gender re-assignment.

[mike carey]

Drag queens are not even gay men who .., they are 'men who ... '

[tbinsocal]

I certainly enjoy transvestites and am an oral bottom. Some of them also work as boys and then I am a top. Very strange indeed.

[BaronArtz]

I don't understand the in and outs of the PC names for the various 'trans' people. Is 't-women' the mostly accepted name now? Here is a website of a NY-based modelling agency that focuses on trans. They can indeed be all over the map in terms of appearance, so to speak

 

http://transmodels.com/t-women/

[Guy Fawkes]

...fuck other men? Why yes, some of them do; They all have big dicks you know.

 

(All opinions submitted under the influence of alcohol, are somebody else's not mine)

 

Drag queens are not even gay men who .., they are 'men who ... '

[instudiocity]

...fuck other men? Why yes, some of them do; They all have big dicks you know.

 

(All opinions submitted under the influence of alcohol, are somebody else's not mine)

That's why they wear those big dresses - to hide their baloney from the unsuspecting... alcohol? WHERE??

[Kuriousity]

I don't understand the in and outs of the PC names for the various 'trans' people. Is 't-women' the mostly accepted name now? Here is a website of a NY-based modelling agency that focuses on trans. They can indeed be all over the map in terms of appearance, so to speak

 

http://transmodels.com/t-women/

 

I think the breakdown is drag artists will use "T-Girl". Transgendered--like Carmen Carrera--will say "Trans Women".

[rvwnsd]

Here's a primer on gender terminology from GLAAD:

 

http://www.glaad.org/reference/transgender

 

For those who are not familiar with this organization, it was founded in 1985 as the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. Since then, they have expanded their scope to include groups other than gay men and lesbians.

[LADoug1]

Is a drag queen the same as a transvestite?

A drag queen dresses as a woman for humor or just plain fun. A transvestite gets a sexual thrill out of cross-dressing. A drag queen may also be a transvestite. IMO transvestites probably shouldn't be considered drag queens.

[buckguy]

Drag can be a hobby, a one off for Halloween, a fetish or step toward exploring a new identity. You'll have to ask the guy what's up--if he advertised this way, it's probably not a one-off for Halloween, but it may be that he has sought out a specific audience, or it may be that he has one of the motivations I mentioned above. It sounds like it's more about curiousity and some vague sort of anxiety on your part. If you discovered this w/o being too stalkerish, then it may not be the first time someone asked.

 

As for political correctness, the term transvestite seems to be dying out,in part because its devoid of specific meaning. Cross dressing is more descriptive of the behavior without connoting motivation. Younger trans folks often identify as gender queer rather than trans. Middle aged and older male to female transgendered tend to identify as trans women. Regardless, you won't know unless you ask.

[Kuriousity]

A drag queen dresses as a woman for humor or just plain fun. A transvestite gets a sexual thrill out of cross-dressing. A drag queen may also be a transvestite. IMO transvestites probably shouldn't be considered drag queens.

 

Yes....some drag queens (for example Lady Red Couture in Los Angeles) are in drag at all times. A term I have heard from Australia on describing them is "LID"--Live In Drag. You have other drag queens who do not go fully out of drag & do an androgynous look (for example, Sharon Needles).