Escort Sincerity

[dcguy20]

All valid opinions, but I'm sure the escorts come in contact with a lot more people over the course of a year, so Juan's view of keeping things professional is what works for him. I hardly have time for the people who have been in my life for years, let alone someone new who is seeking friendship. There are a couple of guys I have hired that have maintained friendly conversation throughout the year, but it was something that just flowed naturally as opposed to either one seeking something out.

[curiousnomore]

After posting my thread I realized the subject I discussed might be a little difficult for escorts to discuss without possibly jeopardizing some connections with clients...then again, maybe not. I like Juan's statement about the "professional" relationship. I think he said it as well as it can be said. Thank's Juan.

Thanks for this post, Gilbert. Your original post highlights my number one concern with an escort that I like. And by like, I mean his companionship outside the bedroom. I'm looking for a guy that I enjoy being around. No strings attached.

[robberbaron4u]

In my experience, money can not buy happiness, but, it can buy attentiveness; unfortunately, one has to keep "feeding the meter".

[Rudynate]

I sigh and enjoy the afterglow for a couple days - everyone I've ever hired has been a delightful man. I may even send him a text or two or three. Sometimes it seems like there was a real connection. Was there? Or was he extra skilled at helping a client feel desired or appreciated? I really don't know.

 

But I don't need a relationship, I already have one. I don't need a new friend, I already have several. And sooner rather than later, I take advantage of the self-limiting nature of the client/escort relationship and busy myself with chopping wood and carrying water.

[Todd99]

I am a professional (no, not an escort) and I charge my clients by the hour. I am friends with some of my clients. We socialize. I take them out socially and I pay as a business development expense. But they don't ask for professional advice during those social events and I don't provide it for free.

 

Escorts provide companionship, the "boyfriend" experience, and, yes, sex. And they get paid for it. The difference between escorting and my profession is that my clients do not expect, and they do not pay for, the social aspects. This makes it far easier to separate the business from the social. Not so with escorting.

 

So, here it comes, I fell hard emotionally for an escort. It was the first escort I had hired multiple times and the only one who initiated contact in between sessions. He said we had a "connection." He led me on to get more money. I had a lot going on in my personal life at the time and I fell for it. I knew I was paying, but I thought there was something more. Stupid.

 

This escort suddenly "retired" and cut off all contact with me. Didn't even say goodbye. Yes, he really did retire as he had saved the money he needed to do the things he really wanted to do. I was devastated. I was desperate. I was suicidal.

 

I was stupid. I allowed myself to get emotional. To confuse friendliness and good client marketing with friendship and love. This escort did not have the best of intentions, but that doesn't excuse my foolishness which almost ended my life.

 

I survived and learned a big lesson. We pay escorts to fulfill a desire. A fantasy. I want the boyfriend experience. But it's a paid for fantasy. Not reality. If a client and an escort want a real relationship, that's wonderful. The payments should stop and the real relationship then begins. In my profession, I know plenty of professionals who have dated and married former clients. And, guess what, they don't pay for the professional advice anymore. If you are paying an escort, he is not your friend. He is your escort. Your paid lover. Don't confuse it.

 

I have hired escorts since and am friendly with some between sessions. Have met one between appts for dinner -- I paid for the dinner but not the date. I don't confuse it with friendship or emotional attachment. It's business development on his part.

 

I actually have spoken to that escort I got attached to. Even hired him once more when he came out of retirement for a few months. But we are not friends. I am a client. He is a vendor. He makes me laugh. He makes my orgasm. I pay him. Nothing more.

 

I hope others (escort and client) learn from my mistakes.

[big-n-tall]

I am a professional (no, not an escort) and I charge my clients by the hour. I am friends with some of my clients. We socialize. I take them out socially and I pay as a business development expense. But they don't ask for professional advice during those social events and I don't provide it for free.

 

Escorts provide companionship, the "boyfriend" experience, and, yes, sex. And they get paid for it. The difference between escorting and my profession is that my clients do not expect, and they do not pay for, the social aspects. This makes it far easier to separate the business from the social. Not so with escorting.

 

So, here it comes, I fell hard emotionally for an escort. It was the first escort I had hired multiple times and the only one who initiated contact in between sessions. He said we had a "connection." He led me on to get more money. I had a lot going on in my personal life at the time and I fell for it. I knew I was paying, but I thought there was something more. Stupid.

 

This escort suddenly "retired" and cut off all contact with me. Didn't even say goodbye. Yes, he really did retire as he had saved the money he needed to do the things he really wanted to do. I was devastated. I was desperate. I was suicidal.

 

I was stupid. I allowed myself to get emotional. To confuse friendliness and good client marketing with friendship and love. This escort did not have the best of intentions, but that doesn't excuse my foolishness which almost ended my life.

 

I survived and learned a big lesson. We pay escorts to fulfill a desire. A fantasy. I want the boyfriend experience. But it's a paid for fantasy. Not reality. If a client and an escort want a real relationship, that's wonderful. The payments should stop and the real relationship then begins. In my profession, I know plenty of professionals who have dated and married former clients. And, guess what, they don't pay for the professional advice anymore. If you are paying an escort, he is not your friend. He is your escort. Your paid lover. Don't confuse it.

 

I have hired escorts since and am friendly with some between sessions. Have met one between appts for dinner -- I paid for the dinner but not the date. I don't confuse it with friendship or emotional attachment. It's business development on his part.

 

I actually have spoken to that escort I got attached to. Even hired him once more when he came out of retirement for a few months. But we are not friends. I am a client. He is a vendor. He makes me laugh. He makes my orgasm. I pay him. Nothing more.

 

I hope others (escort and client) learn from my mistakes.

 

I'm sorry this happened to you. The escort took advantage of you and your affection for him. That is totally unfair and rather a dick move, imho.

 

Escort sincerity or friendship... or whatever you want to call, it is one of the never-ending arguments/discussions on this board. (I've made my feelings known on the topic countless times. So I won't bring it up here.) I'm sure in a few months it will be brought up again. We all are just going to have to agree to disagree on it.

 

Even though I don't know you, it's good to know you are in a better place.

[Rudynate]

Your paid lover.

 

I like it. I like having paid lovers. I gives me a boner, thinking about "paid lovers."

[BaronArtz]

 

So, here it comes, I fell hard emotionally for an escort. It was the first escort I had hired multiple times and the only one who initiated contact in between sessions. He said we had a "connection." He led me on to get more money. I had a lot going on in my personal life at the time and I fell for it. I knew I was paying, but I thought there was something more. Stupid.

 

This escort suddenly "retired" and cut off all contact with me. Didn't even say goodbye. Yes, he really did retire as he had saved the money he needed to do the things he really wanted to do. I was devastated. I was desperate. I was suicidal.

 

 

Let me say that I really sympathize with the feelings you expressed here. I recently went through a similar experience - although my guy did say goodbye and did explain why he said it. Although I didn't feel suicidal, I did feel quite devastated indeed, mainly because it was so sudden. I didn't see it coming. You what the worst part is? Paulo Coelho summarizes it very well:

 

"Waiting hurts. Forgetting hurts. But not knowing which to do to is the worst of suffering".

 

Part of me wants to 'wait'. Will he change his mind? How can I get back in his life? Part of me wants to 'forget'. Be grateful for the nice moments you had, said some of my friends. Money doesn't buy the love of a straight young man, what were you thinking, said others. Draw the line and move on. And in the end, the worst part of it all is, I don't know what to do. I cannot choose between waiting and forgetting.

[Todd99]

Part of me wants to 'wait'. Will he change his mind? How can I get back in his life? Part of me wants to 'forget'. Be grateful for the nice moments you had, said some of my friends. Money doesn't buy the love of a straight young man, what were you thinking, said others. Draw the line and move on. And in the end, the worst part of it all is, I don't know what to do. I cannot choose between waiting and forgetting.

 

I am sorry this happened to you as well. Don't forget. And don't wait.

 

I had a great experience with my paid lover and travel companion. He made me laugh. He made me feel good. I was hurt in the end, but that doesn't change the happy memories.

 

Don't wait. Things can't go back to the way they were. They shouldn't go back to the way they were -- which was emotionally unhealthy. Keep the memories and move forward.

[BaronArtz]

I am sorry this happened to you as well. Don't forget. And don't wait.

 

I had a great experience with my paid lover and travel companion. He made me laugh. He made me feel good. I was hurt in the end, but that doesn't change the happy memories.

 

Don't wait. Things can't go back to the way they were. They shouldn't go back to the way they were -- which was emotionally unhealthy. Keep the memories and move forward.

 

Todd99 you make perfect sense. What you say is rational. However, we are human beings. We are not always rational. My guy is still the nutritionist/personal trainer at the gym I go to. I can't escape him. He gives me mixed signals. At this stage, I am just hoping that something new will emerge between us. I know it doesn't make sense. But I am human. Thank you for your reply though. That was very thoughtful of you.

[+ purplekow]

Is it my poor memory or is it that in all these threads about escorts and clients being friends, we have never heard from an escort supporting the proposition. Now I know there are escorts who post here who have very long term relationships with clients here. So escorts, any one of you care to chime in?

[big-n-tall]

Is it my poor memory or is it that in all these threads about escorts and clients being friends, we have never heard from an escort supporting the proposition. Now I know there are escorts who post here who have very long term relationships with clients here. So escorts, any one of you care to chime in?

 

Poor memory.

 

There have been escorts who've chimed in on this topic. Juan being one. Honestly, because the way people react on this forum some times, most escorts seem to refrain from saying certain things. People are attacked for saying they liked a particular escort and trumpet how much they do. I wouldn't be surprised if they (escorts) aren't keen to admit anything they may get attacked for. I mean from what I've read over the years... a lot of escorts have been chased away or don't respond as much because of what goes on in some of these discussions.

 

But there have been myriad times an escort has called a client a friend, just not always in this particular type of discussion.

 

Ultimately does it matter? This is just one of these topics (or related topics) that comes up over and over. Believe what you want... feel what you want... If you make a friend out of it, A plus (because some type of relationship can come out of it). Just don't go into this hobby thinking you're going to find a soulmate. Although to be fair I do know a of a number of escorts who've had boyfriend relationships with clients... I just think it's not the norm.

[Rudynate]

Poor memory.

 

There have been escorts who've chimed in on this topic. Juan being one. Honestly, because the way people react on this forum some times, most escorts seem to refrain from saying certain things. People are attacked for saying they liked a particular escort and trumpet how much they do. I wouldn't be surprised if they (escorts) aren't keen to admit anything they may get attacked for. I mean from what I've read over the years... a lot of escorts have been chased away or don't respond as much because of what goes on in some of these discussions.

 

But there have been myriad times an escort has called a client a friend, just not always in this particular type of discussion.

 

Ultimately does it matter? This is just one of these topics (or related topics) that comes up over and over. Believe what you want... feel what you want... If you make a friend out of it, A plus (because some type of relationship can come out of it). Just don't go into this hobby thinking you're going to find a soulmate. Although to be fair I do know a of a number of escorts who've had boyfriend relationships with escorts... I just think it's not the norm.

 

 

Escorts are in a difficult position on this board. They can't reveal too much. They're in the business of fantasy. If they tip their hands, they risk ruining the fantasy. They can only be candid to a certain degree.

[AdamSmith]

Not to mention that if an escort posts Yes, I do make friends with clients, there are bound to be some clients who think, Hmph! He didn't make friends with me.

[Diverdan]

I really respect Juan for sharing his perspective on this thread. Most escorts I know will for all the reasons mentioned, not be comfortable with sharing their perspective and I respect that position.

 

Several years ago I met up with an escort when I was traveling, and we became "friends". I saw him every time I visited that city and we sometimes spent 24 to 48 hours together. He would only accept payment for a portion of the time we spent together. We became very close friends. It turned out he was divorced and was paying child support for his son with this extra income. One weekend, he invited me to spend the two days with him and his son, and we had a wonderful time. His son was 10 at the time, and I was introduced to him as a friend of his Dad's. This relationship went on for several years, but one day when I was visiting him, he said that he was going to stop escorting. He had gotten a wonderful new job and had met a guy with whom he wanted to develop a relationship. While a bit disappointed that we would not continue seeing one another, I wished him well, and we agreed to stay in touch as friends, which we did for several years. We had one more fling together several years after he stopped escorting and he would not accept any payment, as he said that was his gift to me, and hoped I would remember him. I have now lost touch with him but he remains someone whom I remember fondly for his friendship as well as the good times we had together. So many things are possible, and IMHO really depends on the two people involved.

[josh282282]

I really respect Juan for sharing his perspective on this thread. Most escorts I know will for all the reasons mentioned, not be comfortable with sharing their perspective and I respect that position.

 

Several years ago I met up with an escort when I was traveling, and we became "friends". I saw him every time I visited that city and we sometimes spent 24 to 48 hours together. He would only accept payment for a portion of the time we spent together. We became very close friends. It turned out he was divorced and was paying child support for his son with this extra income. One weekend, he invited me to spend the two days with him and his son, and we had a wonderful time. His son was 10 at the time, and I was introduced to him as a friend of his Dad's. This relationship went on for several years, but one day when I was visiting him, he said that he was going to stop escorting. He had gotten a wonderful new job and had met a guy with whom he wanted to develop a relationship. While a bit disappointed that we would not continue seeing one another, I wished him well, and we agreed to stay in touch as friends, which we did for several years. We had one more fling together several years after he stopped escorting and he would not accept any payment, as he said that was his gift to me, and hoped I would remember him. I have now lost touch with him but he remains someone whom I remember fondly for his friendship as well as the good times we had together. So many things are possible, and IMHO really depends on the two people involved.

 

Hi Diverdan,

 

May I ask how many years difference were you two in age?

[Diverdan]

That is a hard question to answer, as this was a long time ago. But I suspect it was between 5 and 8 years. I remember that we were quite close in age, because when I first met him, I had a hard time (no pun intended) thinking of him as an escort, since we were so similar in age and had a lot of other things in common. It was a wonderful experience and even now, I can picture him in my mind's eye. Your questions is making me think about going through some boxes that I have in storage of pictures, as I am quite sure I saved several of us when we were together.