That Old Chestnut - But I'm discussing it whether you like it or not - Cash Up Front

[SteveEscort]

Yes

 

Had a client booked in for 7.45pm, text him directions how to get here (the .......ish directions to the end of the street). Got the room ready, went in the shower. He had positive client feedback on a site I use here in England.

 

Just out of the shower, text message ...... dried myself off. It was him 15 minutes early, he was here at the location and asked if I could call when I was ready. 1 minute later a text with ??????? then a phone call, which I answered. I didn't make a fuss, directed him in. 5 minutes later he walks in.

 

Walks into the "entertaining room" and I offered to run a shower. Went into the en-suite and started the shower. Went back through and he said can we have a bit of hand fun to get me in the mood before the shower. He immediately dropped his pants. Was very keen to get moving on. I said, ok well as you're here for an hour, can we get the money side out of the way and then we can relax. Something told me to ask him for the money - It's something I rarely do as you know and I've been stung in the past.

 

Aww, I've left it in the car. I can get it at the end if you want.

 

Me didn't want.

 

He pulled up his pants and said "I'll be back in one minute". That was 20 minutes ago

 

I was nearly stung again, yet that's ok to some because they don't want to be stung by hustlers and therefore think that any escort asking for monies up front is not to be trusted. Well yes it's ok to feel like that, I understand why you think that way, I agree...... but neither is attempting to get a freebie, because I guarantee you now, he wouldn't have paid me after his appointment.

 

Guys asking for monies up front, sometimes do it because of these reasons

[BaronArtz]

You said 'something' told you to ask him for the money ... could you be a bit more specific? It is not something you usually do, right? What was the 'something'? Was it your intuition, or was it something he actually did or said? Will you write a bad review of this client on the website you use in the UK?

[SteveEscort]

Hello

 

Firstly he arrived 15 minutes early, he knew he was early so sent a text asking me to call when I was ready. He didn't even allow me 60 seconds before the second text with "????????", so the first text seems genuine enough, I'm early so if you're ready, great, if not I will wait, then suddenly he didn't fancy waiting. He then phoned within another 30 seconds asking if I had the text. It annoyed me a little because I was in the shower when I got the first text. Someone who looked to be patient, considering he was early, was anything but.

 

It was when he walked in and wanted to get straight down to business. Most new guys will walk in and have a chitty chat about how they found you, they'll often comment on the nice area I live in or tell me about their journey, this guy was no chit chat, no nonsense, drop my pants and get on with it. It was then I said "well should we.......... then we can relax". He moved too quick and was too impatient when he arrived in my street. It didn't sit right with me.

 

No I won't report him to a site online, I didn't do anything with him, thankfully. He could argue that he didn't like the look of me, or that I was rude to him (which I wasn't) however if I had an hour of him and then the "wallet car" story I would have reported him. He was on a site where there is client feedback but you can only add that feedback if they've placed feedback about you, a sort of counter balance. The feedback he had listed was all from local girls, not a lot but 3 or 4 good comments. I sent a text message to a couple of local female and male escorts who also use that site and who I chat to on Twitter etc and told them his user name for the site and his number. One lady had a text enquiry from him a few weeks back which didn't amount to anything. She won't accept an appointment from him now, should he initiate an appointment with her......none of us like to be ripped off.

 

In England it's actually a criminal offence to make non payment to an escort, it's fraud and there have been instances of men going to prison for it, however most escorts don't report it because it's too much hassle.

[tom1980]

I'm okay with escorts demanding that other clients pay up front. I just don't want them to ask ME to pay at the beginning of our appointment. Seriously though, there's a big difference between having a policy requiring up front payment (which is common among hustlers who don't intend to provide the desired services) and asking for money up front when the guy has raised some red flags.

[SteveEscort]

I'm okay with escorts demanding that other clients pay up front. I just don't want them to ask ME to pay at the beginning of our appointment. Seriously though, there's a big difference between having a policy requiring up front payment (which is common among hustlers who don't intend to provide the desired services) and asking for money up front when the guy has raised some red flags.

 

Yes Tom, this was a red flag to a bull and thank you once again for supporting me on this issue, you also supported me the last time I brought it up

 

Last time I brought it up I got told I was stupid. You know what.... This work gets harder with ever year that passes. Each new generation of clientele have less manners than the previous. But that's what it's like in most careers in almost every walk of life.

 

Appreciated !

[SteveEscort]

Good job with following your gut. If the person sounds and acts shadey, they are most likely just that, shadey.

 

I personally never have taken a shadey client. I'd rather have less income and a solid piece of mind. I screen clients very very well. Its important to have rules and standards of who you meet with to ensure your safety in an industry that doesn't have laws protecting sex workers (I'm talking about America).

 

Thank you Killian

 

England is a bit more tolerant than the United States in these matters but to be honest in metropolitan cities you can do whatever you want, just don't go to Natchez MS like I did on a Christian Convention weekend........ True story if you want to hear it.

 

If you've never taken a shadey client, stick around. I never did for 14 years. I have had more trouble in the last two years than the former 14 combined and that is no lie and many of the message-forum guys here know what I really look like without the head cut off and I'm not hit by the ugly stick. It's harder work in 2015 than it ever was.

[Gar1eth]

Yes Tom, this was a red flag to a bull and thank you once again for supporting me on this issue, you also supported me the last time I brought it up

 

Last time I brought it up I got told I was stupid. You know what.... This work gets harder with ever year that passes. Each new generation of clientele have less manners than the previous. But that's what it's like in most careers in almost every walk of life.

 

Appreciated !

 

Something maybe to keep in mind- I'm not saying it was the case here- sometimes texts aren't delivered immediately. Two separated in time can occasionally show up one right after the other.

 

Gman

[Andy2]

Yes

 

Had a client booked in for 7.45pm, text him directions how to get here (the .......ish directions to the end of the street). Got the room ready, went in the shower. He had positive client feedback on a site I use here in England.

 

Just out of the shower, text message ...... dried myself off. It was him 15 minutes early, he was here at the location and asked if I could call when I was ready. 1 minute later a text with ??????? then a phone call, which I answered. I didn't make a fuss, directed him in. 5 minutes later he walks in.

 

Walks into the "entertaining room" and I offered to run a shower. Went into the en-suite and started the shower. Went back through and he said can we have a bit of hand fun to get me in the mood before the shower. He immediately dropped his pants. Was very keen to get moving on. I said, ok well as you're here for an hour, can we get the money side out of the way and then we can relax. Something told me to ask him for the money - It's something I rarely do as you know and I've been stung in the past.

 

Aww, I've left it in the car. I can get it at the end if you want.

 

Me didn't want.

 

He pulled up his pants and said "I'll be back in one minute". That was 20 minutes ago

 

I was nearly stung again, yet that's ok to some because they don't want to be stung by hustlers and therefore think that any escort asking for monies up front is not to be trusted. Well yes it's ok to feel like that, I understand why you think that way, I agree...... but neither is attempting to get a freebie, because I guarantee you now, he wouldn't have paid me after his appointment.

 

Guys asking for monies up front, sometimes do it because of these reasons

 

 

Like everything else Steve posts here, this was heartfelt, thought-provoking, and useful to know.

 

On most of the occasions I have paid up front, the provider was either a substantial rip-off or close to it, so I am reluctant to pay up front. On the other hand, this has sometimes worked well. When the provider is well-reviewed to start with, gives me notice beforehand and a chance to talk about it, and is willing to give me a kiss before I pull the money out, the experience has always been fine.

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

I can get it at the end if you want.

 

"...if you want." Seriously.

[BaronArtz]

"...if you want." Seriously.

 

Exactly

[tom1980]

"...if you want." Seriously.

 

I keep waiting for an escort to tell me that his time with me was so amazing that he doesn't want me to pay . . . This shouldn't take long . . .

[bigvalboy]

SteveEscort...check your pm's.

[Steven_Draker]

[SteveEscort]

Something maybe to keep in mind- I'm not saying it was the case here- sometimes texts aren't delivered immediately. Two separated in time can occasionally show up one right after the other.

 

Gman

 

It happens, it's happened to me but he was 15 minutes early to begin with and his original text showed some level of patience, asking me to call when I could. That went out of the window within a minute

[SteveEscort]

Like everything else Steve posts here, this was heartfelt, thought-provoking, and useful to know.

 

On most of the occasions I have paid up front, the provider was either a substantial rip-off or close to it, so I am reluctant to pay up front. On the other hand, this has sometimes worked well. When the provider is well-reviewed to start with, gives me notice beforehand and a chance to talk about it, and is willing to give me a kiss before I pull the money out, the experience has always been fine.

 

Aww thank you

 

It's rare I ask for the money up front but on this occasion something told me to do it.

 

A friend of mine ( a fellow female escort ) argues that men who don't pay are committing an offence which is paramount to rape because consent was given on the understanding that the escort was paid. They didn't consent to recreational sex. I don't agree with that but it's an interesting argument.

[SteveEscort]

SteveEscort...check your pm's.

 

Yes I've seen it. I have been to a Berlin to see a client for the weekend.

 

[scottspearsxxx]

Cash at the end of a session is fine by me. I rarely have to mention it with my clients. They know, as I do, that mine and their time is valuable and it pretty much takes care of itself.

[Mocha]

I recently had an experience where I was ripped off on an OUTCALL to the clients place, while I was traveling into his town. All I can say to myself now is I should have gotten the money upfront, and there were many subtle red flags...so subtle especially since I was on a high from having met such good clients this year.

 

I agree with the part where Steves friend said not paying is like rape. I feel so disgusted it's hard to feel comfortable with myself knowing in part it was my fault (similar rape victim-blaming) IN past situations where a guy has ripped me off, the results were disastrous. I made em wish they'd never done it, and they never seen it coming. I believe he either purposely pretended to not remember, or on the off chance forgot that I was for hire. But at the end, he seemed totally oblivious to needing to pay me. I suspect he knew because his response wasnt of surprise, but rather of shortage. Con artist. All I could do was blacklist report his address and phone number which also showed his name on caller ID. Only reason I didn't go ape shit crazy was because he was fairly nice throughout the encounter, plus I'm not trying to end up in front of a judge because some naive SOB took my kindness for weakness...and found out otherwise. Best thing I could do was leave because it was gonna get ugly real quick.

 

I've not been ripped off in years, and overly trusted a nice guy. But in the end, most these jerks aren't very nice as they seem. If Theyll cheat on their wife/partner, the hell they won't with you if they have the chance? Not saying everyone is like that, but these guys are at best strangers, oppurtunists at worst. From this point on, no more BS. Money upfront regardless.

[Mocha]

I keep waiting for an escort to tell me that his time with me was so amazing that he doesn't want me to pay . . . This shouldn't take long . . .

 

I met a guy who I texted after, that I'd give him half off next time. They guy was 1 year older than I, and had perfect package. I also met another guy who I said happens to be my type, and thanked him for understanding it's business. In both cases, I hated to charge them, but I know they were coming to me for a reason and I had to honor that.

 

However, I'm still befuddled that such a chemistry-repulsive guy could get over on me the way he did, and actually think for a minute I, as he quote, "accepted his offer". I feel like it's unfair to the guys who I WOULD HAVE slept with, who still paid me, versus some dirtbag who I wouldn't sleep with and not pay me. Yes, my fault, but it's going to be his fault when he's assed out.

[Bargara Leatherboy]

As a client, payment up front is a bit of a red flag.

 

Having said that, the best 4 hires I've done it's 50/50.

 

They are the guys I return to.

 

For me payment up front could mean I'm about to get less than I expected.

 

Gut instinct is what I fall back on

[Mocha]

Re:westerns post:

 

By 50/50, do you mean half up front the other half on the back?

 

Either way, as a proponent of taking the fee after...I will say I sometimes do wait until after. Why? I often get pleasant $urprises once the client realizes how good my service really is. I've been paid as much as $300 for 30 minutes. Sometimes when asking upfront, the client may just give my normal rate...with a Chance of paying again after.

 

In the case of the person who failed to pay, I was able to confirm the person didn't realize my services were for pay. I call it 50/50 error. My ad clearly mentions pay, is a PAID for ad...but it was on adam4adam and we met almost 2 weeks after our initial contact. In the future, if I don't collect money upfront, I will confirm prior to meeting and again at the time of meeting to ensure they know: it's not strange, if it's for a little change.

[CCMaryland]

Hey guys. First post ever here.

 

Was thinking about a "gut feeling" when it comes to meeting new people. Just reminds me of working in real estate with new clients. It's so easy to jump in the car to meet up with a hot new lead to show them a home without vetting them first. Safety is paramount, no matter if you're hiring or being hired.

 

Only met one escort that ever asked for the fee up front and my gut feeling about that encounter was 100% spot on. Should have tossed him right out of my apartment at the start.

[Guest RexB]

I've only been asked for the money upfront a few times but it always rubs me the wrong way.

Once I used it to my advantage as a way to get out of the situation because it turned out the guy was not to my liking after all and by refusing his request for payment first I didn't have to let him know that. I just said that I didn't like paying first, sort of a policy of mine. He tried to repair the situation by saying I could just leave the money on the table in sight but since I just wanted to get out of there I said it had taken me out of the mood and I fled.

Another time it was a very young guy and I balked again, but he talked me into staying and he gave me a good therapeutic massage but he wouldn't do any of the sexual things that he had agreed to while we were setting things up.

There was one time that was what I would say was my only BAD experience with an escort out of the 40 or so that I've been with. He asked for the money first and I gave it to him. We were about 15 minutes into me blowing him when he stopped and said that in order to continue he would need more money. He said he told me beforehand in the email or text that for what i wanted to do it would have been double the rate that I had paid him. Well, he never told me anything like that and after squabbling he admitted that he might have forgotten to tell me that but that I had to pay it anyway. He kept shouting, "I forgot. OK. I forgot". I don't know about you, but to me it seems that if he forgot to make me aware of that the burden of his mistake should not have fallen on me. I thought he was going to punch me in the face. I've run into a couple of escorts who have a really heavy-duty victim mentality and seem to look upon clients with animosity and hostility, as if we are forcing them to do something against their will. He was the extreme of that.

My personal reason for not wanting to pay first is because I think that once the escort has the money in his possession he has less incentive to perform sexually with gusto, real or feigned. It's like the money is the reward for a job well done, and without that carrot at the end of the stick I imagine, perhaps erroneously, that he'll just fall into a state of complacency and not put any effort into the scene. But mostly, to me it denotes a lack of trust, and the way I see it those who don't trust tend to be untrustworthy.

[+ azdr0710]

oh, the perennial dilemma...pay up front or not??

 

if I'm ever meeting an entirely new guy with few reviews and/or an uncertain rep (rare these days for me), I always mention in the prelim discussion that I will pay at the end of the meeting, that I don't want to talk about money at all during the meeting, and is this going to be OK with him....of course, any money talk is kept several texts or emails away from sex talk.....

 

no surprises!

[thickornotatall]

last year I had an escort ask me for payment...in the middle of the appointment....first time ever....I got up..paid him...called the doorman telling him to expect my visitor to be downstairs in 2 minutes....BTW..he couldn't get hard...stay hard...and he was about 3 "s shy of the 9" he advertised. I consider myself very polite..pleasant and understanding....to a point....I could have gone HAM on him...but felt sorry....he was well reviewed....I wrote a negative review and received no response.....I won't post his name now....last years biz....but both sides need to be nice....