A Masseur's Perspective

[niceandthick]

Guys -

 

I saw this post on another forum and thought I would share it here. It did make me stop and think.

 

It is an entry in a long running thread about sensual/erotic massage experiences. The thread is an interesting read with stories about M/M (mostly), M/F, and M/T experiences. I have contributed a couple of my experiences (#3 & #4) to the early part of the thread.

 

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I included the post here for convinience, but here is a link to the opriginal post. Also, here is a link to the beginning of the thread called Any New Massage Stories.

 

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I've been a masseur for over 15 years & absolutely LOVE my job.

 

Reading this thread makes me laugh & cry....and get really really angry.

 

I've 'swapped' with many masseurs from all over the world & we lament about the same things all the time...We lament about you guys!

 

The one's that book for a massage, ask questions like we are hookers, don't show up or expect, that because we are male, we are gay & are therefore willing to 1: get naked 2: want to give you a happy ending or 3: that we want sex from you.

 

All 3 are most likely untrue. At least not in the way you guys think.

 

I will always regret being so judgemental about guys offering extras. I'm fortunate to not have to work & when I do I charge $165 minimum for a non-sexual service. It took me years to realise that other therapists aren't as fortunate as myself & sadly, to compete, WILL get naked, give hand relief & oblige to having sex not because they want to (believe me) but because they feel they HAVE to! Don't kid yourself! Apart from a few extremely rare exceptions its pretty hard to find a client you really want to have sex with....just saying!

 

We also hate when the games begin. We know that the presumption in any massage should be that your safety & privacy is paramount, no therapist wants to 'take advantage' or 'sexually assault' anyone. Acting like your all shocked, horrified, surprised when it becomes sexual as if YOU didn't ask for it or haven't got anything to do with it? What's that about?!?!? If you don't want anything sexual, after requesting it in the beginning, then insist/accept draping, so NO if that's not what you want or if you have changed your mind. You don't get to lay there like a stunned mullet 'taking whatever is given' as if you have no voice then afterwards describe your therapist as legit & non-legit, it doesn't work that way boys!

 

I have witnessed 'straight' clients experience an arousal (erection, very normal) & insinuate (very carefully) that somehow I made it happen for my own benefit. That because I'm gay I want to see it, touch it..whatever.

OK, eewwww & to make it worse it's always the fat, ugly ones!

 

We want to help you but treat us with respect & stop projecting your guilt, shame & internalised homophobia onto us because the fact is we don't really want to do most of the shit you expect us to!

[EastbayMike]

Your post shows such an amazing amount of contempt for and generalization of your clients that wonder if you're in the right business.

[niceandthick]

Your post shows such an amazing amount of contempt for and generalization of your clients that wonder if you're in the right business.

 

EastbayMike - It is not my post. I am sharing a post that a masseur posted on another site.

[EastbayMike]

EastbayMike - It is not my post. I am sharing a post that a masseur posted on another site.

 

I see that now. My sincerest apologies. I owe you a batch of fresh-baked cookies.

[adriano46]

niceandthick, I did not have a negative reaction to this; rather I often suspect that most of the masseurs that I do see think the same way.

 

For the longest time, I was not sure of the etiquette of draping/not-draping. Inasmuch as I expect a thorough massage, that would include the glutes where most of my knots end up (lower back, glutes, and upper shoulders and neck). It would be more problematic if I left my undies "on" and in most cases, I have rarely seen a sign of a discreet draping towel so I went with the flow, stripped, and lay face down. In most massages I am NOT expecting a happy ending and I make that very clear from the start (and amazingly, it really relaxes the atmosphere quite a bit). I do this for personal reasons: at the end of a massage (done well), the LAST thing I want is to get all messed up with lube and someone jacking me [which nearly NEVER gets me off anyway].

 

Recently, I had a massage with a guy I have seen often enough, and asked for the more erotic elements. which he openly then advertised. It was clear that while we do like each other socially, he was really not into this, but felt he had to do it as I was/am a frequent client. I stopped him (very gently) within a few minutes and while he was a bit concerned about "not fulfilling" his end of the bargain, I made a small joke about it and then wrote later saying, "Let's keep this at drawing a definite line between sensual and erotic, and stay friends." I am not his BF nor do I intend to be. On the other side of this, I see another guy very frequently and he and I get into much more sensual-erotic things incrementally on each visit (all very mutual and consensual), and he definitely is NOT an escort, never has been and never would be.

 

Advice we often share here applies: be respectful and respect boundaries, and you will in most cases have a very fruitful and satisfying time; just remember, you are hiring a masseur here and not an escort.

[Nvr2Thick]

A lot of these LPSG guys strike me as role players. How many of these guys are average and creating an online fantasy of being very well endowed?

 

If this guy is legit I'd like to see his ad. It's an understandable position, but it seems overstated to a degree that makes me think he's a bullshitter.

 

What annoys me is the guys who take this stance but post very erotic ads. "I'm only offering legitimate massage, but here are pictures of my nearly naked body and prominent bulge." "You misunderstood. I'm not offering a sexual service. I posted pictures of my erect huge dick because, um, er - therapeutic."

[corndog]

Yes. I usually wait for cues from the masseur. If their cock rubs against my hand on the table, or against the side of my face, I interpret it as a clue. I don't believe for a minute that their cock just accidentally rubs up against me.

[sincitymix]

A lot of these LPSG guys strike me as role players. How many of these guys are average and creating an online fantasy of being very well endowed?

 

If this guy is legit I'd like to see his ad. It's an understandable position, but it seems overstated to a degree that makes me think he's a bullshitter.

 

What annoys me is the guys who take this stance but post very erotic ads. "I'm only offering legitimate massage, but here are pictures of my nearly naked body and prominent bulge." "You misunderstood. I'm not offering a sexual service. I posted pictures of my erect huge dick because, um, er - therapeutic."

 

You know that often confuses me too. Masseurs posting all naked pictures with a hard one big enough to club baby seals to death with... and then they say no ABC123.

[+ MasssageGuy]

Oh please! If a masseur advertises as "sensual" or "custom" what does the masseur expect?

 

So the masseur who is ranting should change their target audience if they are angry and uptight.

 

I've noticed that Masseurfinder.com looks like they only accept head shots of providers in their "therapeutic" category. Do the members of this board agree?

[Nvr2Thick]

I've noticed that Masseurfinder.com looks like they only accept head shots of providers in their "therapeutic" category. Do the members of this board agree?

 

I've found a few counterexamples. In that category there are full body shots in all stages of undress. I don't know whether it is or should be a policy. I think that masseurs should post honest ads. I like to see a good body shot because I enjoy legit therapeutic massage from men I find to be attractive. Provocative shots with bulge or erection cross the line.

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

Yes. I usually wait for cues from the masseur. If their cock rubs against my hand on the table, or against the side of my face, I interpret it as a clue. I don't believe for a minute that their cock just accidentally rubs up against me.

 

+1 - I let the masseur lead the direction regarding mutual touching. However, I do make sure I adjust myself when I get on the table so that if he can easily make contact with my cock and balls if he is so inclined.

[+ MasssageGuy]

Good point!

[shadowcatzxxx]

While I get FURIOUS over directly deceptive advertising (using someone else's pics, using two year-old pics, advertising as a masseur with NO massage skills and still refusing to provide an "alternative service" etc) I've learned that masseurs (oddly enough) have lives of their own that can be both complicated and filled with either complications and/or contradictions that probably give them as much difficulty navigating their lives as they give us in interpreting their ads.

 

One in particular that comes to mind - a situation in which I was personally disappointed, but don't hold any grudge against the masseur - involved one spectacular young man (they're all young to me by now) who has been featured in threads here over the last few years and was the recent subject of one of those hardon-inducing photo essays that several forum members are kind enough to assemble for the rest of us.

 

This young man is, IMHO, an example of pure physical perfection body-wise .. and he is handsome to boot. He is a model and (perhaps, by now) an actor, and he advertises massage services in his home on Treasure Island, in St Pete, FL. His numerous photos in various places display nearly every inch of his spectacularly toned body, including, in a few shots, a VPL that leaves little to the imagination about his package. Numerous modeling pics also feature him with a thumb hooked under the waistband of an undergarment or swimsuit, dragging it down to reveal as much as possible while leaving just a little to the imagination.

 

Yet in all his self descriptions, he prominently lists his Christian (with a capital "C") lifestyle, and advertises as offering a strictly therapeutic massage. When you enter his office, he gives you a client intake form to look over and sign BEFORE the session begins, which includes something to the effect that "solicitation for sexual services of any kind will be sufficient reason to terminate the session immediately.

 

During my massage, he didn't even take his shirt off.

 

Was I disappointed?

 

You betcha!

 

But I wasn't angry for a couple of reasons.

 

First and foremost, he had been upfront about his limitations, and clear about what he did and didn't offer.

 

Second, he really WAS an EXCELLENT masseur ... he gave me one of the best therapeutic rubs I have ever received ... and I've gotten a lot of them.

 

So although I wished he would have at least displayed more of his assets during the session, he provided the services he advertised, had made clear what he didn't offer, and did truly deliver on an excellent massage.

 

and he seeemed to be a nice enough guy too boot.

 

so we as clients need to be willing to flex with various providers ... as long as falsehood or deceptive offers are not involved.

[luvsrubs]

Couldn't agree more about deceptive advertising. But the best masseurs I've come across over the years even if the massage itself wasn't the golden mean ie great therapeutic combined with wonderful eroticism, were somehow healers in the best sense of the word. There was a communication, silent mostly, between us and I never felt the erotic portion was perfunctory or grudgingly given. That kind of massage at least to me, restores not only the body, but the soul. I am grateful that such guys exist out there, and I think they are truly special.

[shadowcatzxxx]

Absolutely, luvsrubs!

 

That kind of really good massage and really hot massage, is my ideal also.

 

Just got one from an amazing duo in Orlando -- Shea and Tinus. I'll be posting a review on their massage site ad shortly. Superb massage, delightful and satisfying erotiicism ... and no actual sex ... even the way Bill Clinton defined it.

 

Yes, getting the best of both worlds is REALLY nice and the ultimately relaxing/satisfying experience.

[adriano46]

Yes, getting the best of both worlds is REALLY nice and the ultimately relaxing/satisfying experience.

 

And when one finds such a masseur, you have find a great treasure.