Making a decision to end the perpetual cycle of text abuse...

[JoeyBryant]

I'm starting to realize, the more people use text to regularly communicate among each other, the more iClients/ibooking/isexting are becoming commonplace. However, it seems to have gotten to the point where it's time to shut it down.

 

Now, text abuse isn't just limited to rude, profane or sexual messages. Text abuse is similar to drug abuse, alcohol abuse, and any other kind of abuse. Basically, using it improperly. On a recent tour last week, I dealt with multiple examples of text abuse. 2 clients who communicated exclusively by text, didn't live up to their agreement. In fact, they failed to show up on 2 separate occasions. Both occasions done exclusively by text.

 

Another who communicated plans exclusively by text for an out of town appointment, texted me, "sorry, I have to cancel"....3 hours before the appointment. I immediately called. No answer, but I get a text back, "oops, sorry wrong person. this is my room #". From there, we continued text, and pretty soon the whole conversation broke down and the appointment was cancelled. The communication continued to further break down, because there was absolutely no transparency in the text-versation we'd been having. The fact the person couldn't use the phone, let alone be willing to receive a call...seemed sketchy.

 

Just as I was going to make exceptions for guys who have shown up in the past, I get this response back from a client I've met with twice, when I responded to his strings of texts, the last one asking me to pick the restaurant for our meeting next weekend: "Sorry. Change of plans. I just fell in love. With my partner! He fucked me today and I realized how much he means to me and I don't want to hurt him any more." Yeah...that one didn't deserve a response.

 

Now, those are just 2 examples. Looking back, I've had it happen over and over....and over, where I receive a text for an appointment, usually a client who is coming to town...and then cancels. Not once though, twice by the same person even. Always thru texts. Or, I get texts asking if I'm in town, but no appointment out of it. The abuse has been carried out by regulars and newcomers alike. It has become an EPIDEMIC. It's invasive and impersonal (not to mention, in New Jersey if someone crashes due to reading your texts, you could be held liable....being that many of these texts get to me while driving, but that's other topic).

 

But, there is some good news. I've decided, that I will still offer the option of text. Instead of just blocking the feature outright, as my cell provider offered me...I decided I'll keep it (hey, it has it's benefits). But, it's no longer going to be free I've decided recently, that if a guest decides to use text to make an appointment, they'll have to make a 1-time, per appointment, donation to do so. And it has to be prepaid. The text is automatic. I've found peace and tranquility, using this method for me. It puts the text freaks right off. I'm not concerned about accidentally putting off genuine inquiries, because calls and emails are still complimentary. If they can't do either one, I've potentially saved myself a few gigabytes of back and forth texts that won't lead to anywhere. Took me a awhile to realize it, but almost all of the setbacks were coming from people using texts to communicate.

 

Has anyone else found similar satisfaction in restraining and refraining texts?

[LouieD]

Good for you! I hate texting. I refuse to use it. It has become an epidemic in the classrooms and on the highways.

[Chance]

it's as if the written (texted) word has less meaning than if it's spoken

 

it's not really a deal to meet if it's on text

 

i've experienced the same with escorts who say they're gonna meet then don't but I'm guessing that it's a bigger problem for you who relies on the meeting happening

 

good post

[bobchitown]

The problem is that for many escorts a text is the only thing they'll respond to. Emails never get answered, ever, and a phone message is also pretty much hopeless. What do you suggest we do? Smoke signals? Telegram?

[+ purplekow]

The problem is that for many escorts a text is the only thing they'll respond to. Emails never get answered, ever, and a phone message is also pretty much hopeless. What do you suggest we do? Smoke signals? Telegram?

 

A nice note of personalized stationery would be nice.

I do not mind an initial contact by text, but I really want to hear the voice of the person I am considering meeting. The tone, the word choices, the inflections all help me feel out the level of attraction. The spontaneity of conversation and the ease of the flow of the conversation also adds to my overall impression. I once called an escort for an appointment and wound up talking with him on the phone for 2 hours. Needless to say, I changed from an hour appointment to an overnight and I have had many overnights with him. I suppose it is fortunate he lives across the continent as my bankbook could never handle the damage I would inflict on it if he lives locally.

[rickp]

Yes, I've been using this system for years. Any text from a new client is responded to with a "please call rather than texting." It's much better to talk to people on the phone and the chances of a cancellation are much more slim after having had a phone conversation rather than texting "conversation".

[Nvr2Thick]

But, there is some good news. I've decided, that I will still offer the option of text. Instead of just blocking the feature outright, as my cell provider offered me...I decided I'll keep it (hey, it has it's benefits). But, it's no longer going to be free I've decided recently, that if a guest decides to use text to make an appointment, they'll have to make a 1-time, per appointment, donation to do so. And it has to be prepaid. The text is automatic. I've found peace and tranquility, using this method for me. It puts the text freaks right off. I'm not concerned about accidentally putting off genuine inquiries, because calls and emails are still complimentary. If they can't do either one, I've potentially saved myself a few gigabytes of back and forth texts that won't lead to anywhere. Took me a awhile to realize it, but almost all of the setbacks were coming from people using texts to communicate.

 

Has anyone else found similar satisfaction in restraining and refraining texts?

 

Sounds like self-satisfaction. Has this policy been in place for long enough for you to realize true satisfaction from the results, or are you just proud of yourself for once again generalizing your client-base as a contemptuous bunch?

 

The escorts I respect have found friendly ways to establish their communication policies. If I had to choose between an escort who states "We need to talk on the phone before we schedule an appointment" or "give me a call -- it sounds like you have too many questions to address in text", and one who charges for texts it would be a very easy decision.

[gallahadesquire]

The problem is that for many escorts a text is the only thing they'll respond to. Emails never get answered, ever, and a phone message is also pretty much hopeless. What do you suggest we do? Smoke signals? Telegram?

 

Telepathy or engraved invitations.

[actor61]

The problem is that for many escorts a text is the only thing they'll respond to. Emails never get answered, ever, and a phone message is also pretty much hopeless. What do you suggest we do? Smoke signals? Telegram?

 

Well said! I keep reading postings accusing the clients of being time wasters but I would venture that 90% of the problem lies with escorts. I have become so tired of not receiving replies that I've given up. I leave voice mails, I text, I send emails - nada in response. Or, 10 days later, I get, "Dude. Sorry I didn't get back to you. Still wanna hook up?" And as much flak as I'm probably going to get for this, especially from one Joey Bryant, my temptation is to reply, "Dude. You're an asshole. I'd rather be alone." But I refrain.

[Steven_Draker]

Yesterday, I booked someone through texting for a same-day appointment. A total of four text messages were necessary to book and finalize the meeting.

 

It was someone I've met once a few years ago.

[SteveEscort]

I don't mind one or two texts from new guys but I will not give out my home address for an incall or travel to them without having spoken to them first. I've even had excuses like the speaker being broken on their phone so they couldn't hear me if I tried. Yeah I really believe that one

 

Most of my regular clients make repeat appointments by text. I don't mind that at all. It's easier.

 

Cutting out text is cutting away a potential income and repeat business. That doesn't make any sense in a cut throat world.

[adriano46]

I generally prefer to text or e-mail the escort first just setting out what I seek and the date and timing. I do this to find "availability" - as some guys are already pre-booked or may be traveling, or just not in the mood.

 

If the proposed date is within the next 48-72 hours I am more than willing to call him and chat briefly) on the phone but at a time he tells me is OKO (as I understand many working guys DO have a life and cannot be interrupted with phone calls at all hours).

 

If I discover I have to pay up front for texting a guy (however this would even work?) -- I definitely MOVE ON.

[SteveEscort]

I generally prefer to text or e-mail the escort first just setting out what I seek and the date and timing. I do this to find "availability" - as some guys are already pre-booked or may be traveling, or just not in the mood.

 

If the proposed date is within the next 48-72 hours I am more than willing to call him and chat briefly) on the phone but at a time he tells me is OKO (as I understand many working guys DO have a life and cannot be interrupted with phone calls at all hours).

 

If I discover I have to pay up front for texting a guy (however this would even work?) -- I definitely MOVE ON.

 

That is almost word for word how my new clients use the service.

 

I would add from my post above. Approximately 70% of my clients book repeat appointments SOLELY by text. The likes of "Hey Steve any chance of an hour around 2pm" to which I will reply "Yes" and it's sorted. No running through hoops when he's known to me.

[Steven_Draker]

What about new customers?

[SteveEscort]

As I said earlier, I will entertain one or two texts by new customers but if they want to visit me or have me visit them a phone call has to be initiated or it doesn't happen.

 

It's too dangerous to visit new people on the receipt of a text and how do I not know I'm giving my address out to minors playing a practical joke on me for an incall .... It happens

 

I often get texts with "Steve I'm flying into Newcastle Airport in the next month or so, how clear is your diary week beginning 2nd June". That sort of enquiry is fine and dandy with me and I'd rather not be evasive with someone making a genuine enquiry like that

[BoogieNights]

I think any form of communication should be available in this ever changing world of newer technology and a faster paced life style. The only constant is change... change or die. I certainly would never limit my communication, especially in a market like LA... competition for days.

 

While phone and email usually offer more insight into a meeting, we actually prefer texting in most of our communications. It allows us to almost always immediately answer any inquiry in a friendly way, and for us, a way to quickly ascertain the veracity and scheduling of a meeting. Since 98% of our clients prefer the exact same experience, we don't even usually get into any specifics and leave that for when we meet and can connect face to face... So much more personal for us. We are prepared for almost anything. We schedule via text, tell them we will double confirm the morning of our time together, and once double confirmed, give out our address. Flakes, no shows, are par for the course. Happened maybe 5 times in the 9 months we have been working.

 

As always, I listen to my gut instinct about any possible meeting no matter how it is scheduled. If it feels off, I tread lightly.

[Guest Starbuck]

Personally, I've only used texting for confirming appointments (day before or day of) and wouldn't try to make one that way. I prefer more communication than texting comfortably allows and I'm happy to do that by either telephone or email. However, if I'm seriously interested in a guy and he's made a specific point of saying what sort of communication he prefers, I'll do that--even if it's texting (though I'd be likely to ask if we could communicate a little more by phone or email).

 

What I would NOT do, under any circumstances, is PAY for communication to initiate or discuss a meeting. Don't we all understand that millions of people in every sort of business spend millions of hours communicating in hopes of drumming up business ... not because they want to turn the communicating into the business, but because it is a necessity of being in business!! Like painted toenails on the man of your dreams, some things are just WRONG.

[ewells2007]

To be honest, I don't think this thread (and many of them) offer new and different perspectives on how to go about and handle any kind of situation. The escorts who are posting on here and making a lot of noise should probably go seek the advice of more established escorts, and learn how they work their magic when it comes to actually managing their clients and appointments. Some people to seek out for advice might be K. Slater, Juan Vancouver, Rick P, Mike Cruise etc.

 

Has anyone ever heard the term Captain Obvious? It's a term people use when others go out of their way to write or say something that is already very apparent to everyone, just to get attention. Well, you certainly got attention. But I'm pretty sure all the intelligent folks reading this are saying to themselves "...what the hell am I even reading, did he just say that, is he REALLY asking that question, where's his commonsense..."

[Steven_Draker]

Personally, I think that you shouldn't discount the participation of anyone who posted in this thread and took the time to offer an opinion.

 

If everything was so 'obvious' and 'common sense', an escort wouldn't write something along the lines of "Stop with your emails now! Call me!" and turn a genuine prospective client off.

 

We all come here to learn and exchange ideas, Captain.

[rickp]

Absolutely, I'm always willing to answer questions from newer escorts who want to speak to someone who's been doing it for longer. Also private messages are fine, if posting in the form isn't something you want to do. I have the luxury of being friends with both Kevin Slater and mike cruise and generally go to them directly with questions I might have, rather than posting them in the forum. It's an invaluable resource.

To be honest, I don't think this thread (and many of them) offer new and different perspectives on how to go about and handle any kind of situation. The escorts who are posting on here and making a lot of noise should probably go seek the advice of more established escorts, and learn how they work their magic when it comes to actually managing their clients and appointments. Some people to seek out for advice might be K. Slater, Juan Vancouver, Rick P, Mike Cruise etc.

 

Has anyone ever heard the term Captain Obvious? It's a term people use when others go out of their way to write or say something that is already very apparent to everyone, just to get attention. Well, you certainly got attention. But I'm pretty sure all the intelligent folks reading this are saying to themselves "...what the hell am I even reading, did he just say that, is he REALLY asking that question, where's his commonsense..."

[ewells2007]

Absolutely, I'm always willing to answer questions from newer escorts who want to speak to someone who's been doing it for longer. Also private messages are fine, if posting in the form isn't something you want to do. I have the luxury of being friends with both Kevin Slater and mike cruise and generally go to them directly with questions I might have, rather than posting them in the forum. It's an invaluable resource.

 

Rick, you truly are a wonderful resource to the community! I want you and Killian when I'm in NYC this summer. He told me you've been together before and it was HOT.

[rickp]

He is correct. And I'm happy to oblige.

[Steven_Draker]

[rvwnsd]

 

You say that like its a bad thing.

[JoeyBryant]

Sorry for the late reply to this. But I wrote this a day before mother's day, and then such an engrossing Micheal Sam discussion was going on in another website forum, so I couldn't get a break.

 

Anyhow...in trying to answer everyone at once. It sounds like most people agree about the whole texting issue. However, one of things I wanted to point out is...I already know people aren't going to want to pay for texting. BUT, if I'm going to leave the option open, I have to make it to where people know its a PREMIUM form of communication, and that the extra work I put into it=extra time and since the basis of escorting is charging for time, you can see where I'm getting at?

 

I also feel that texts can almost signal that someone isn't really taking someone professionally. As a BLACK ESCORT, I feel we deal with more people taking us even LESS serious. Because people already see escorts as not a real profession, but then you have a sample few who don't take Black entrepreneurship seriously either. So, it's up to me to implement certain procedures to protect myself from the bullshit, before can even start. Answering texts from random dudes all day long, is leaving the door wide open for people to play me. And that ends today. Actually, it ended last week. If someone can book me by text, and then cancel by text...that tells me right there, they didn't take me seriously from the get go. But, how often do you have someone call and say, "sorry, I have to cancel?" Rarely.

 

I think any form of communication should be available in this ever changing world of newer technology and a faster paced life style. The only constant is change... change or die. I certainly would never limit my communication, especially in a market like LA... competition for days.

 

Flakes, no shows, are par for the course. Happened maybe 5 times in the 9 months we have been working.

 

I get what you're saying, but it's always going to be a bit different for us (escorts). Remember too, technology has the ability to kill too. We're in a day and age of GPS based hookup sites, online escorting, texting, etc. Just because a form of communication is available, doesn't mean it's appropriate (or effective) for every profession. Think about now; doctors, dentists, attorneys, and the like...don't receive random texts, "hey, are you available tonight?" They have 3 ways of communication: phone, email, in person. Why? Because its the NATURE of the business. I had 2 clients from LA the other month. They both called and booked. Location is irrelevant. I've gone to the most desolate small towns with few to no escorts, and the concept is pretty much the same. Texters are usually wasters, whereas callers are often ballers.

 

 

Finally...this is a personal decision for me. I've tried every other option, with doing texts. I've tried keeping it to a certain # of texts. I've tried saying, "just call me". I've tried it all. But, in a moment of epiphany, I can almost think of everytime someone has flaked, it's been thru text. I will say, not everyone who texts flakes, but most everyone who flakes, set up communication by text. With that being the case, I just can't see any benefit in keep playing along with it.

 

People can text from anywhere. They can be bored in a meeting, waiting for a train/bus, be lonely, whatever. That's what makes it so much different from email. With texts, a person can get instant gratification and instant response, from anywhere. There's also an unspoken obligation to answer texts QUICKLY, or people think you're not interested. A person will get impatient when you don't respond to their texts, but won't bother to pick up the phone.

 

Approximately 70% of my clients book repeat appointments SOLELY by text. The likes of "Hey Steve any chance of an hour around 2pm" to which I will reply "Yes" and it's sorted. No running through hoops when he's known to me.

 

I get those a lot too. It was very hard for me to come to the decision to end texting. But, I should also mention, what I'm doing is still in the trial period...and really, it may end up being on a case by case basis (with regulars only). I may not implement this forever, but right now I feel I NEED to do it, because it's affecting my quality of life. In addition, it's not the texts that are the issue....but rather people's abuse of it that is the issue. Sort of like binge drinking, and window shopping. All horrible addictions.