Choosing between integrity and money...when the client feels duly entitled

[BallerBoy]

Joey, don't blame your client because your ass is so hot. It's not his fault for wanting more at the last minute.

[+ dupontversDC]

The last three post are spot on. This isn't black and white. Very good points made.

[Guest countryboywny]

Success requires hard work and availability, that's for sure. But it seems to me that in the personal contact professions, it also requires the ability to establish a positive connection, to draw the other person in, to make the client want you more now that you are with him than he did when he made the call. And in order to do that, the service professional has to be true to his own self and his own desires. Even though sometimes you have to suck it up, do the work, and smile (which every grownup has to do from time to time), to a greater extent than in a field where technical skill is what is wanted, what you love doing is all intertwined with who you are. Your unique personal and professional mix and what the client wants done have to line up together. When they do, great things happen and you will soar. But if there is a basic mismatch between what you are and want and what the client wants, it won't work, and there won't be much more for you from it.

 

Example. I have two friends who are psychotherapists. They are both successful. One is a real free spirit, loves seeing clients on a their-need basis in addition to their regularly scheduled sessions. It is just in his makeup. The other is a control freak about everything in his life. He has analyzed this deeply in himself and uses it to his advantage and that of his clients. They know when they show up for their session, he is going to be totally there for them and it is terrific. But the schedule rules. These guys are so different, and both are successful because they have matched their personalities and personal needs to how they pursue their profession.

 

The question I think needs to be asked is: What are YOUR needs? Do you want and need time with your friends on Saturday night? Fine. In fact, better than fine. This is something that makes your life good for you. So do it. Plan for it, structure your work for it. And also know that sometimes people will want more than you can really give. In fact, as you are happier in yourself and better with your clients, their attempts to draw you out beyond your boundaries will probably grow. When that happens, it really is a huge compliment to you, that they want you. But to do a really good job for them you need to meet your needs. No need to twist around about it. Be glad the guy wanted you! And tell him that. And in the nicest way you can, say no to what you can't do.

 

Having said that, I'll add this: Neither of these guys is set in stone. The therapist who likes the unpredictable has to run a tight ship on his schedule. The control freak knows that when business gets thin, as it sometimes does, he needs to expand his limits. But that's just saying, we live in an imperfect world and need to accommodate to reality.

 

Be true to who you are and meet your real needs so that you can be excellent when you are with your clients. But also watch for the unexpected good that might challenge your boundaries.

 

What a great post! Valuable words for everyone.

[Lookin]

Another possibility perhaps?

 

Gosh, I'd love to spend the night with you, but I've got four friends waiting for me right now! If I blow them off, however much I'd enjoy being with you tonight, I'd have to at least take them all out to an expensive dinner tomorrow. What to do? Hmm. Here's a thought! Shall we go see if there might be an extra five hundred dollars in that safe? Just to cover costs? http://www.boytoy.com/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif

[scottspearsxxx]

I would have gone for the client's offer and just called my friends to say that I could not make it. The only difference I would make is that if it was a big party that I was supposed to make an appearance at or something like that, but just going out, my friends would understand...