Online/App dating while having an online escort prescense...

[JoeyBryant]

Online/App dating while having an online escort presence

 

I'm just wondering is it even possible?

 

I want to start back up trying to date again using adam4adam. I'm already on the phone apps, but it's not working out at all for me. But the issue is, I'm starting to become paranoid about having an online escort persona. Lately, it's just gotten worse. When I first started out, I had no one know I was an escort. But now, I'm getting people sending messages about me being an escort, and when I post on another gay forum, people have posted links and pictures of my escort ad to try and put me out there.

 

I'm just like I can't even use the internet to meet people anymore because I have escort ads up. Even if you don't show your face, people can still recognize you. The little unique differences are all noticeable. So far lately, I've had far better success going to bars and meeting guys...where I can tell people about myself on my own time, if they even get past a couple of meetups, which most don't. But I never have to deal with people calling me out as an escort when I'm out in public.

 

I'm just wondering does anyone think or know if it's better to just not use the internet for my personal life and just meet people out? The gay community is relatively small, especially where I live. You meet a guy, and that guy has some connection to someone you know. Online tends to compress that.

 

I've also used ads for adam4adam which I know I mentioned before...but a big part of me is telling me to NOT use it locally anymore specifically for this reason. Can anyone back that up? But does it make a difference? I mean...it seems like alot of these sites are being used for hookups, serial daters and guys in dishonest open relationships (their profile says monogamous or 'play together' but their partner isn't involved) I mean...how can someone still have a profile up 2-3 years later and not have settled down? Did it just not work with everyone they met, or did everyone they meet just not workout? How much of this is really even an escort issue?

[Keenan]

Honesty I too have found it hard to date while escorting. That being said my best relationship was with another escort as we both understood what we did for work. I also worked as a dancer for a little while so that also didn't really help the dating life. My best suggestion I would have is to persevere. Unfortunately as escorts many people don't realize we are "human" too and what we do. I'd just suggest waiting for that right person that accepts you for who you are and not what they want you to be. Yes being an escort could be somewhat detrimental to dating but in the end things should eventually work with time.

[Xander]

It get really awkward when clients see you on these dating sites and try to contact you... speaking from experience here.

[JoeyBryant]

My best suggestion I would have is to persevere.

 

And that I have done LOL. It's just I'm at the point where I just want to be in a relationship so bad right now. Like, I'm not trying to push it on anyone...I'm not settling either because if I did I'd be in one already. But it's like damn, I have never gone this long without one before and I don't know if it's just due to this or if it's just the way people are now or it's just my location. I have not dated anyone steadily since the end of 2011. A good year and a half.

 

But I can't really blame it on this because people aren't telling me, "you're an escort, this is not going to work out". Shit is just not working out LOL. It's like you meet up for a hookup or you go out a couple of times and nothing happens. I know people say to not look for it, or to just work on yourself...but I'm doing all of that already.

 

I met a guy last weekend for the 2nd time who was CERTAINLY relationship material on every aspect. Nice car, nice job, courteous, has it all together. But for some odd reason I thought I was attracted to him the 1st night we met (under a few too many drinks), and then this 2nd time I didn't feel a single thing. It just wasn't there. I'm just like God dammit, can't you just MAKE me attracted to this guy?

 

And just for everyone's FYI, It's different client wise because I understand that attraction is not a priority as an escort. So I can get past the attraction part of it. Matter of fact, I also mentioned before that physical attraction is 1 thing, but that I can still be sexually attracted to someone. I find many clients can be sexually attractive just by the way they compliment me, and are so eager for some action LOL.

[BallerBoy]

To be totally honest, I think you'll find it very difficult to make new friends/relationships without your line of work being an issue.

 

And isn't escorting alot for a potential boyfriend to except or deal with? When people find someone attractive, there is usually something there that also plays to the sense of discovery, mystery and ego. It's a complicated mix that forms the initial infatuation with another person. I don't know anything about you (as I am new to the site), but I would suggest developing something about yourself that adds a "wow factor" to a potential boyfriend/date. After he's "shock" at the dinner table with news of you being an escort, you can then tell him all about your 2nd or 3rd language classes, or you can tell him about your volunteer work with the homeless or sheltered animals. Or you can tell him about how you learned to play the acoustic guitar just by watching youtube videos

 

My point is, you need to lay something MORE on his lap than "hey, I'm an escort"..

I think he'll be intrigued....atleast I would

[JoeyBryant]

I don't know anything about you (as I am new to the site), but I would suggest developing something about yourself that adds a "wow factor" to a potential boyfriend/date. After he's "shock" at the dinner table with news of you being an escort, you can then tell him all about your 2nd or 3rd language classes, or you can tell him about your volunteer work with the homeless or sheltered animals. Or you can tell him about how you learned to play the acoustic guitar just by watching youtube videos

 

My point is, you need to lay something MORE on his lap than "hey, I'm an escort"..

I think he'll be intrigued....atleast I would

 

Well there's certainly more to me than just this. It's part of the reason why I can carry on without ever saying much of anything about it. It's not the only thing I have to bring to the table. But, irregardless of that, some people may still focus on that 1 thing. I can even tell them about what type of work I've done outside of escorting and never even mention it...and talk about it as if I'm doing it right now lol. I know that's mildly deceptive, but I meet so many people, I just don't feel the need to tell everyone about it. It would compromise my privacy and security to do so. I'm not going to tell someone who's just looking to have a little fling with me and be on to the next person, or someone who's 1 foot in the door, 1 foot out and can't make up their mind if they even want to be with me LONG before they even know I'm an escort.

 

Out of all the people I've met in the last 2-3 years. I could name and count the ones I've actually told anything to. Certainly no more than 10. And it wasn't a sit down and tell them over dinner sort of thing LOL. I had to sense they themselves had already found out/suspected and then out of spontaneous confession...it just came about.

[Juan Vancouver]

Hi Joey,

 

When I read this:

 

I had to sense they themselves had already found out/suspected and then out of spontaneous confession...it just came about.

 

The first thing that comes to mind is that you are confessing a sordid, dark and terrible flaw of yours, not your profession. It occurs to me that when you finally "confess" what is it that you do for a living your potential partners receive the same impact of shame, guilt and unease that I did when I read this. Getting over something like this (the guilt, shame and unease, not escorting) is something really hard to do.

 

People judge you not by the truth about your life, but by the emotional charge you convey when you speak about it.

 

Whether you are a pawnbroker, a plastic surgeon, an oil magnate, a hooker or a hand model people will react to your profession not based on your profession but based on what you think and how you feel about it. We always communicate a lot more than we wish we did, especially when we are not speaking.

 

To be totally honest, I think you'll find it very difficult to make new friends/relationships without your line of work being an issue.

 

And isn't escorting alot for a potential boyfriend to except or deal with? When people find someone attractive, there is usually something there that also plays to the sense of discovery, mystery and ego. It's a complicated mix that forms the initial infatuation with another person. I don't know anything about you (as I am new to the site), but I would suggest developing something about yourself that adds a "wow factor" to a potential boyfriend/date. After he's "shock" at the dinner table with news of you being an escort, you can then tell him all about your 2nd or 3rd language classes, or you can tell him about your volunteer work with the homeless or sheltered animals. Or you can tell him about how you learned to play the acoustic guitar just by watching youtube videos

 

My point is, you need to lay something MORE on his lap than "hey, I'm an escort"..

I think he'll be intrigued....atleast I would

 

I could not disagree more, even if I tried.

 

You are not a fixer upper. You are not a faulty property that is being flipped for a small profit. You are not a shoddy shack that can fool potential buyers if you install a new kitchen and paint the living area. Regardless of the wow factor that you can accrue, regardless of how many finishing schools you attend to and how many black tie benefit galas you organize and host, your own sense of self worth will be communicated clearly through your body language and the way you relate to your potential mate. I don't think anyone should add more in order to be better, what we really need to do is realize how in many different ways we are already lovable, we are already good and worthwhile. Only then, when we love and accept ourselves people will follow suit.

 

We can keep adding extras, masters degrees, languages, international travel, botox, implants, cars, mansions... the lists goes on forever, but if we are not loving towards ourselves we will keep being unable to attract a mate. We have all known so many men and women that are perfect in paper but whose energy feels so uncomfortable to be around.

 

I am a male escort. I love my work and I am proud of it. Every time that I meet someone that has the potential to be a friend or a lover I directly, proudly and unequivocally say that I am an escort. Intelligent, well educated, clever, loving people always react the same way: a little shock, then double check to make sure I am not joking, and then they become intensely curious about it for a little while (It is not often that they can ask all those questions they always had) and then they move on to the next subject. Not a care in the world. These are the people that I want to have around. If people react differently, I simply move along. Life is too short to spend it with incompatible people.

 

I have started a few relationships with wonderful people while being an escort and nobody thought twice about it. Currently I am in a relationship with the most amazing, loving, intelligent, caring and wonderful guy that I know and when we met I was an escort and he had never imagined even meeting one.

 

What I am trying to say, Joey, is that I am certain that being an escort is not a problem for finding love. All the hinderances invariably come from within.

 

You don't need to change anything about you, just the way you look at yourself. You are perfectly loveable. The wow factor is already there.

[maninsoma]

What a lovely post and great attitude.

 

Hi Joey,

 

When I read this:

 

 

 

The first thing that comes to mind is that you are confessing a sordid, dark and terrible flaw of yours, not your profession. It occurs to me that when you finally "confess" what is it that you do for a living your potential partners receive the same impact of shame, guilt and unease that I did when I read this. Getting over something like this (the guilt, shame and unease, not escorting) is something really hard to do.

 

People judge you not by the truth about your life, but by the emotional charge you convey when you speak about it.

 

Whether you are a pawnbroker, a plastic surgeon, an oil magnate, a hooker or a hand model people will react to your profession not based on your profession but based on what you think and how you feel about it. We always communicate a lot more than we wish we did, especially when we are not speaking.

 

 

 

I could not disagree more, even if I tried.

 

You are not a fixer upper. You are not a faulty property that is being flipped for a small profit. You are not a shoddy shack that can fool potential buyers if you install a new kitchen and paint the living area. Regardless of the wow factor that you can accrue, regardless of how many finishing schools you attend to and how many black tie benefit galas you organize and host, your own sense of self worth will be communicated clearly through your body language and the way you relate to your potential mate. I don't think anyone should add more in order to be better, what we really need to do is realize how in many different ways we are already lovable, we are already good and worthwhile. Only then, when we love and accept ourselves people will follow suit.

 

We can keep adding extras, masters degrees, languages, international travel, botox, implants, cars, mansions... the lists goes on forever, but if we are not loving towards ourselves we will keep being unable to attract a mate. We have all known so many men and women that are perfect in paper but whose energy feels so uncomfortable to be around.

 

I am a male escort. I love my work and I am proud of it. Every time that I meet someone that has the potential to be a friend or a lover I directly, proudly and unequivocally say that I am an escort. Intelligent, well educated, clever, loving people always react the same way: a little shock, then double check to make sure I am not joking, and then they become intensely curious about it for a little while (It is not often that they can ask all those questions they always had) and then they move on to the next subject. Not a care in the world. These are the people that I want to have around. If people react differently, I simply move along. Life is too short to spend it with incompatible people.

 

I have started a few relationships with wonderful people while being an escort and nobody thought twice about it. Currently I am in a relationship with the most amazing, loving, intelligent, caring and wonderful guy that I know and when we met I was an escort and he had never imagined even meeting one.

 

What I am trying to say, Joey, is that I am certain that being an escort is not a problem for finding love. All the hinderances invariably come from within.

 

You don't need to change anything about you, just the way you look at yourself. You are perfectly loveable. The wow factor is already there.

[Newly]

Wow. Juan's optimism is great, he sounds like a fantastic person, but remember that we live in the real world. Pretty Woman, Pygmalion and fairy tales where people accept and fall in love with people regardless of their past are just that...fairy tales. I have no doubt that you can find an example of a person who isn't bothered by someone being an escort when they're looking for a relationship - but they are very few and far between. Every culture and society has issues with selling sex - even the few countries that don't make it illegal hardly think of it as behaviour to emulate or promote. There's a reason why most of us don't talk about this part of our life to significant others, friends, etc. I'm not trying to be a downer, but Joey was questioning whether being an escort was a problem in forming a "normal" relationship and unless we're going to be completely hypocritical I think most people would not consider having an escort as a significant other. I'm not saying it's totally impossible, but it sure as heck isn't going to be seen as a positive by most people.

[Juan Vancouver]

No, I don't think you are trying to be a downer but you are trying to justify your narrow moral values and trying to project them unto the majority. Then, using your narrow moral views and projecting the shame you feel about hiring escorts you are suggesting that this is a shady, shameful and dark pursuit in its very nature.

 

Many cultures have had lots of problems with homosexuality and interracial marriages, for example. They have tolerated those two things and didn't believe they were behaviours that should have been emulated, celebrated or even accepted. This of course has been proven to be an incorrect stance from every single ethical consideration. Having had sex with a man once would have been considered a "sordid past" and would have destroyed many, many lives.

 

Now we know better.

 

Gladly we know you are not comfortable with having a relationship with an escort. That is fantastic! Neither Joey, me or any other escort having read your post will ever waste our time trying to have a relationship with you. And that is a good thing.

 

In "the real world" as you call it, there are many, many wonderful men and women who have absolutely no problem dating an escort. And I don't mean clients who fall in love with their escorts, but men and women who understand that escorting is just a profession which may or may not pose as many challenges to a relationship as being a doctor on call, a fireman or a oil rig worker.

 

People have never dated me "in spite" of my dark past. I don't have a dark past. I am an escort. And in my country, and in many other countries this is a perfectly legal and respectable profession.

 

I am not an optimist. I am a very matter of fact kind of guy.

 

And just to finish... neither pretty woman or pygmalion are examples of an intimate relationship. I sure hope that none of us will ever fall for the temptation of engaging into a power imbalanced codependent relationship.

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

Hi Joey,

 

When I read this:

 

 

 

The first thing that comes to mind is that you are confessing a sordid, dark and terrible flaw of yours, not your profession. It occurs to me that when you finally "confess" what is it that you do for a living your potential partners receive the same impact of shame, guilt and unease that I did when I read this. Getting over something like this (the guilt, shame and unease, not escorting) is something really hard to do.

 

People judge you not by the truth about your life, but by the emotional charge you convey when you speak about it.

 

Whether you are a pawnbroker, a plastic surgeon, an oil magnate, a hooker or a hand model people will react to your profession not based on your profession but based on what you think and how you feel about it. We always communicate a lot more than we wish we did, especially when we are not speaking.

 

 

 

I could not disagree more, even if I tried.

 

You are not a fixer upper. You are not a faulty property that is being flipped for a small profit. You are not a shoddy shack that can fool potential buyers if you install a new kitchen and paint the living area. Regardless of the wow factor that you can accrue, regardless of how many finishing schools you attend to and how many black tie benefit galas you organize and host, your own sense of self worth will be communicated clearly through your body language and the way you relate to your potential mate. I don't think anyone should add more in order to be better, what we really need to do is realize how in many different ways we are already lovable, we are already good and worthwhile. Only then, when we love and accept ourselves people will follow suit.

 

We can keep adding extras, masters degrees, languages, international travel, botox, implants, cars, mansions... the lists goes on forever, but if we are not loving towards ourselves we will keep being unable to attract a mate. We have all known so many men and women that are perfect in paper but whose energy feels so uncomfortable to be around.

 

I am a male escort. I love my work and I am proud of it. Every time that I meet someone that has the potential to be a friend or a lover I directly, proudly and unequivocally say that I am an escort. Intelligent, well educated, clever, loving people always react the same way: a little shock, then double check to make sure I am not joking, and then they become intensely curious about it for a little while (It is not often that they can ask all those questions they always had) and then they move on to the next subject. Not a care in the world. These are the people that I want to have around. If people react differently, I simply move along. Life is too short to spend it with incompatible people.

 

I have started a few relationships with wonderful people while being an escort and nobody thought twice about it. Currently I am in a relationship with the most amazing, loving, intelligent, caring and wonderful guy that I know and when we met I was an escort and he had never imagined even meeting one.

 

What I am trying to say, Joey, is that I am certain that being an escort is not a problem for finding love. All the hinderances invariably come from within.

 

You don't need to change anything about you, just the way you look at yourself. You are perfectly loveable. The wow factor is already there.

 

I have been fortunate enough to hear this from Juan face-to-face, and I completely agree. Relationships work, or they don't. I believe it has very little to do with the where you meet, and much, much more with the who you meet. Look for someone who is compatible and right for you, and not good for just the moment or because they sound good on paper.

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

No, I don't think you are trying to be a downer but you are trying to justify your narrow moral values and trying to project them unto the majority. Then, using your narrow moral views and projecting the shame you feel about hiring escorts you are suggesting that this is a shady, shameful and dark pursuit in its very nature.

 

Many cultures have had lots of problems with homosexuality and interracial marriages, for example. They have tolerated those two things and didn't believe they were behaviours that should have been emulated, celebrated or even accepted. This of course has been proven to be an incorrect stance from every single ethical consideration. Having had sex with a man once would have been considered a "sordid past" and would have destroyed many, many lives.

 

Now we know better.

 

Gladly we know you are not comfortable with having a relationship with an escort. That is fantastic! Neither Joey, me or any other escort having read your post will ever waste our time trying to have a relationship with you. And that is a good thing.

 

In "the real world" as you call it, there are many, many wonderful men and women who have absolutely no problem dating an escort. And I don't mean clients who fall in love with their escorts, but men and women who understand that escorting is just a profession which may or may not pose as many challenges to a relationship as being a doctor on call, a fireman or a oil rig worker.

 

People have never dated me "in spite" of my dark past. I don't have a dark past. I am an escort. And in my country, and in many other countries this is a perfectly legal and respectable profession.

 

I am not an optimist. I am a very matter of fact kind of guy.

 

And just to finish... neither pretty woman or pygmalion are examples of an intimate relationship. I sure hope that none of us will ever fall for the temptation of engaging into a power imbalanced codependent relationship.

 

This brings to mind the limiting logic I've heard a lot from both men and women when considering a potential partner... "but he's just a ________." Fill in the blank. It could be "waiter," or "sales clerk," or "bartender," or any of a myriad of professions that somehow don't pass muster when applying for the position of Boy Friend. I think it's strange that I waited tables consistently for a decade, put myself through school, was debt-free and had to listen to this kind of bullshit from my partner's friends who didn't think I was good enough for him. He was a financial planner who made hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, and he owned a number of businesses.

 

He went bankrupt. I've never bounced a check.

[maninsoma]

There's no denying these issues: If you want a monogamous relationship, then obviously dating an escort doesn't make sense. Even if you're not 100% into monogamy, if you're prone to jealousy then dating an escort probably doesn't make sense. If you're more on the needy side, then dating an escort may not make sense (depends on how that escort conducts business given that some guys travel a lot and others don't).

 

So, even if one isn't looking down on escorting as a line of work, it might not properly fit into one's idea of what they want in a relationship. It doesn't make sense to deny that escorting is different than other professions in this regard. Apart from actors who get paid to at least pretend to have sex with each other on occasion, I cannot think of another profession that raises these potential complications.

[Michael Wayne]

Great OP Joey! Put me down as 100% in agreement with JUAN. I am damn proud of my job. I make more money than alot of, "Professionals," with better hours. I love my clients and they love me. My first and second boyfriends were both escorts. My third and last (12 years) was originally a wealthy businessman client. Chris, I can relate, because he also went broke. Lately I have been playing around on grindr and the really hot young 21-30 years olds think that what I do is HOT. When they find out that a guy my age is as in demand as I am they go crazy about me. Now I am not looking for a bf now as I am just over a 12 year relationship but I do not think my job is an impediment. Now for others it is. I have heard stories. My latest escort apprentice just quit the biz for this reason. He could not focus on dating while seeing clients. Each person is different. http://www.rentmen.com/mikeyusatop

[+ FreshFluff]

To be totally honest, I think you'll find it very difficult to make new friends/relationships without your line of work being an issue.

 

And isn't escorting alot for a potential boyfriend to except or deal with? When people find someone attractive, there is usually something there that also plays to the sense of discovery, mystery and ego. It's a complicated mix that forms the initial infatuation with another person. I don't know anything about you (as I am new to the site), but I would suggest developing something about yourself that adds a "wow factor" to a potential boyfriend/date. After he's "shock" at the dinner table with news of you being an escort, you can then tell him all about your 2nd or 3rd language classes, or you can tell him about your volunteer work with the homeless or sheltered animals. Or you can tell him about how you learned to play the acoustic guitar just by watching youtube videos

 

My point is, you need to lay something MORE on his lap than "hey, I'm an escort"..

I:) think he'll be intrigued....atleast I would

 

I don't know about how escorting is viewed; I imagine that it depends on the guy and the situation. But when I read this post, I found myself saying "Yes! Exactly!" That has nothing to do with being ashamed of escorting; it's important to be confident about anything you do but also show you have other sides. For example, let's say you were a financial analyst. Since analysts are sometimes seen as boring, you'd want to tell stories about your profession that counter that stereotype. Also you'd want to talk about your hobbies, trips, interests, etc. and give the impression of a well rounded person. That doesn't mean you're not proud of your profession, just that there's more to you than people would expect.

 

People's first impressions can usually be described in a few sentences, like a brand. For example, I've heard secondhand how guys describe me to their friends. It inevitably goes something like "PYT--and a professor who was a [area of science] major at [school]. And she's really independent too!" (Of course, the guys who don't fancy me probably describe me in far less flattering terms.) And after the first date, I end up with a similar three-sentence impression of the guy.

 

That's just the nature of first impressions; they tend to be simple. It takes a while to really learn the nuances and complexities of someone's personality, job, or whatever. But people are more likely to accept these complexities once they've gotten that positive first impression. That's why I see nothing wrong with the "wow" factor stuff that BallBoy describe, as long as it's honest.

[JoeyBryant]

I am a male escort. I love my work and I am proud of it. Every time that I meet someone that has the potential to be a friend or a lover I directly, proudly and unequivocally say that I am an escort. Intelligent, well educated, clever, loving people always react the same way: a little shock, then double check to make sure I am not joking, and then they become intensely curious about it for a little while (It is not often that they can ask all those questions they always had) and then they move on to the next subject. Not a care in the world. These are the people that I want to have around. If people react differently, I simply move along. Life is too short to spend it with incompatible people.

 

That bolded statement is the key. Someone who HAS POTENTIAL to be something important. I'd say 99% of the people I come across have no potential. I must have met a million guys (outside of escorting) in the past 3 or 4 years that never got past meeting more than 3 times. Meeting 2 or 3 times and then never hearing from them again is not potential in my book. That's why I don't bother discussing my hobby with them. I get what you're saying. But it's not at all about shame per say. When I first started, I was very open about what I do. I stopped being as open for a variety of reasons. I understand what you have, and I perhaps it was just your time. You found someone compatible, who understood your work and eventually became a team player.

 

What you're mentioning though, not everyone responds in that way. This is based off of my own experiences. No, not everyone has reacted adversely towards me...but some have. I find usually people who already know me, are generally more accepting. But the people who don't know me as well, react differently. That's another reason I don't come right out with it.

 

In "the real world" as you call it, there are many, many wonderful men and women who have absolutely no problem dating an escort. And I don't mean clients who fall in love with their escorts, but men and women who understand that escorting is just a profession which may or may not pose as many challenges to a relationship as being a doctor on call, a fireman or a oil rig worker.

Many, many can be 10,000 guys spread over 195 countries. Out of 6 billion, and then narrowing down every other variable that exists, the number can be pretty microscopic.

 

I'm kidding, I know I'm not helping my cause. But on the real, I love your optimism but that's just not what I'm experiencing. I'm not coming across all these people who are so accepting of what I do. And although irrelevant as far as real life is concerned, there's a site where everytime I talk about something not working out, it always boils down to this...often followed by users posting links to my escort ads. That's the nucleus to the title of this thread as well. It's almost as if ever since I began doing this, I have yet to make anything work out from online, and that used to be the #1 way for me to meet guys, followed by bars.

 

After awhile of going on 50 million 1st and 2nd dates that never go anywhere, you just start to question why and wonder if this is the reason. But, I've been so focused on that lately, I've been slipping. For the next 2-3 weeks, I need to get back focused on my clients. All the bullcrap can go on the backburner.

[+ Tygerscent]

I often wonder how dating in addition to Escorting actually works~ I can't imagine really... The few times I tried it was like a comedy of errors just trying to schedule play time and personal time in with my "partner"~ iDK, maybe it works better if you are both Escorts and work together as a tag~?

I normally travel a lot... So, I'm generally not home enough to invest the personal time with a dating situation.

Then again, I'm more Client orientated then dating oriented.

My Clients are like my Partners and Family~ I'd rather play with them~ :-) Love my Client Boys~!!!

Tyger~

http://www.tygerscent.biz

tygerkink@yahoo.com

971.400.2633

Tygerscent on men4rent.com

AAAtygerscentxxx on rentmen.com

Ty in Portland on Daddys Review's

 

Travel: Northwest: (PDX, Seattle, Bend, Salem) July 8th - 14th

Vegas: July 15th - 19th

LA: mid August.

Mid West: October and possibly August.

Iceland, Amsterdam, Brussels, Brugge: Sept. 4th - 24th

[JoeyBryant]

I often wonder how dating in addition to Escorting actually works~ I can't imagine really... The few times I tried it was like a comedy of errors just trying to schedule play time and personal time in with my "partner"I normally travel a lot... So, I'm generally not home enough to invest the personal time with a dating situation. Then again, I'm more Client orientated then dating oriented. My Clients are like my Partners and Family~ I'd rather play with them~ :-) Love my Client Boys~!!!

Tyger

 

LOL, fate has it that often times when I want to have personal time, it's the very time I get the missed call. But I've kind of learned that Saturday night is universal 'date night'. It's the night where even clients are pursuing potential romances or out with their S/O. I rarely ever get a missed call on a Saturday night. That's the perfect night to have personal time.

 

Being away from home alot does tend to affect dating as well...but nothing has really gone on long enough to even cause it to be an issue to begin with. So, I just keep doing me. It is true clients actually are like our partners...but to me it's not a replacement to the real thing.

 

Sometimes clients offer an invitation to spend the night, sleep in the same bed. Or occasionally without it actually being an 'overnight' appointment. But it's just hard for me to do that. For them they may see it as being courteous, but for me it's a bit deeper than that. The other night, I met a client and he lived 65 miles away in the mountains (like on the other side of the 11,000 ft mark). He offered to stay the night. It must have been like 1:30 am. I left anyway. Sometimes guys like the first thing in the morning sex, but unless I really know the client, or it's something we planned on doing...I tell people that's just not in the cards for me.

 

Even though I'm single, I still know what it's like to be in love, have sex all night and then wake up the next morning and do it again. But it's simply not something that I'm always going to say yes to at the drop of a dime. There's a reason why overnights are what they are. I think some people in my personal life have gotten a little upset with me at times, but I'm just like there's some things I like to reserve for either A)paying clients or B)someone who atleast has the intention of furthering something.

[+ Tygerscent]

My Clients are my real thing on pretty much every level~

I have been staying closer to home though this year to hang with my wolf buddy Nanook~ He's 21 yrs old now and and so, this time together has my attention and dedication. After he is gone, my Clients will be my full attention~

So, he's a wolf but it's like a partner. Of course, because he is a wolf, its not sexual. IDK... He's central to my life though and it's like having a partner~

I also am invited to stay longer for appointments but, of not arranged ahead of time, I opt to he's home to Nanook~

I guess it's a matter of balance~ :-)

[LookingAround]

If I may, I think Juan is confusing two points--self-acceptance as an escort (there is no "dark past") versus a potential partner's acceptance of that as an occupation. One may be beautifully self-accepting (and I hope they are) as an escort. But that does not mean most potential bf's or partners would want a bf who is an escort. Not because being an escort is immoral or "wrong" but because of other issues--jealousy, monogamy, concern re STD's, what have you.

 

I agree with maninsonoma--in the real world, most people would have an issue with it, and not because its "wrong" but because it adds many issues that have to be dealt with.

[Juan Vancouver]

If I may, I think Juan is confusing two points--self-acceptance as an escort (there is no "dark past") versus a potential partner's acceptance of that as an occupation.

 

I am glad that you ask for precision. I am not talking about me accepting myself.

 

To this day, whenever I have been single I have had absolutely no problem finding intelligent, beautiful, wise, wonderful men that have been interested in dating me. Not in spite of the fact that I am an escort. Not because of the fact that I am an escort. They have just been interested in dating me. With no reservations. Having had all the data.

 

I respect the fact that for many of you it would be impossible to do this, but you HAVE to accept that "in the real world" there are plenty of wonderful men who would and do.

 

Or you don't have to accept anything, really. It makes absolutely no difference.

 

It's just sad trying to have a conversation where your interlocutor goes on circles saying "I know I would never, therefore nobody ever will."

 

Not a valid argument.

[JoeyBryant]

Well, I don't know Juan. I'm not at all dismissing your experiences. But I know that me personally have ran into resistance. It could just be the result of spending most of my escort career living in fucking conservative shit areas where people are just closed minded. I've met guys who specifically told me they wouldn't even date a guy who is a bartender, dancer (non nude), or even a dj who works at a gay bar. How much more would they feel dating an escort? They already made up in their mind who they won't date. I've had my fair share of guys who have specifically claimed change of heart upon finding out I was an escort. At best they understood, became friends or merely sex buddies, but yet anything remotely resembling a boyfriend.

 

However, when you say you never had an issue with people wanting to date you, well me either. It's easy to date. Hell, many guys will go on 2 or 3 dates and not even call it that. What I'm suggesting, is something more consistent than that..

 

But Juan, I will say you've inspired me to be a bit more open with people. I do feel I hesitate a bit longer than I should when it comes to telling 'some' guys I meet. Maybe on a 2nd meet and only if they ask. But if they come acting crazy, all bets are off. There's some psychotic people out there that will turn on you at the drop of a fucking dime. And 2 or 3 dates just isn't enough warranty period. I need 1 year-100 dates, whichever comes first.

[JoeyBryant]

My Clients are my real thing on pretty much every level~

I have been staying closer to home though this year to hang with my wolf buddy Nanook~ He's 21 yrs old now and and so, this time together has my attention and dedication. After he is gone, my Clients will be my full attention~

So, he's a wolf but it's like a partner. Of course, because he is a wolf, its not sexual. IDK... He's central to my life though and it's like having a partner~

I also am invited to stay longer for appointments but, of not arranged ahead of time, I opt to he's home to Nanook~

I guess it's a matter of balance~ :-)

 

Well, I had a cat for like 7 months before some wolf like creatures took him away from me lol. But even then, it was great, but I was still going on dates and stuff. animals are great, but they don't fill in the puzzle for me. Even when I had a dog years ago when I first had my first gay and sexual experience, I must have had 4 or 5 relationships during the time I had him. I think it's a western thing that people are like married to their dogs lol. one cannot go to a grocery store in Florida with a dog. But in Denver, it's the norm lol.

 

I don't know if it makes a difference also, but many of my clients are also a lot older than me, so it's just not possible to be on every level with them. They come by for an hour or so, maybe more, maybe regularly, maybe dinner, vacation etcetera...but most of them aren't even interested in being on any level with anyone to begin with. they are either divorced or focused on their business and having someone entertain once in awhile is all they can handle. That's not on every level for me, I'm sorry.

[JoeyBryant]

Okay guys, so an update to this thread:

 

I met up with a guy who I've seen like 2 times prior before. During out time together over a course of a night and afternoon...he came out and told me he is HIV+. That was his 'bomb drop' so to speak as it related to us starting to date.

 

However, I followed up by telling him (at the advice of Juan) I'm an escort. He reaction wasn't bad, but he was just saying all the things that gave off the impression he had a very misunderstood view about it. A couple times he mentioned that he had to "still adjust/wrap his head around" what I had just told him. He seemed curious and non-judgemental, but the response he gave me just kind of left me feeling unsure about it. He was like, "wow, so I stayed the night with you for free?!"

 

It's that kind of stuff why I just prefer to just hold off a little bit. It's like some people don't get it. They think if you are an escort, you have a natural instinct to do nothing but fuck for money and that we view every human being, whether sexually attractive or not as someone who is going to pay us. Not so much that he felt that way, but it's the kind of response that gives off that impression.

[seeker630]

Okay guys, so an update to this thread:

 

I met up with a guy who I've seen like 2 times prior before. During out time together over a course of a night and afternoon...he came out and told me he is HIV+. That was his 'bomb drop' so to speak as it related to us starting to date.

 

However, I followed up by telling him (at the advice of Juan) I'm an escort. He reaction wasn't bad, but he was just saying all the things that gave off the impression he had a very misunderstood view about it. A couple times he mentioned that he had to "still adjust/wrap his head around" what I had just told him. He seemed curious and non-judgemental, but the response he gave me just kind of left me feeling unsure about it. He was like, "wow, so I stayed the night with you for free?!"

 

It's that kind of stuff why I just prefer to just hold off a little bit. It's like some people don't get it. They think if you are an escort, you have a natural instinct to do nothing but fuck for money and that we view every human being, whether sexually attractive or not as someone who is going to pay us. Not so much that he felt that way, but it's the kind of response that gives off that impression.

 

Sometimes, if we expect a certain response, we tend to interpret things in such a way as to confirm our expectations.

 

Is it possible that's what you're doing?

 

Your sentence, "Not so much that he felt that way, but it's the kind of response that gives off that impression" seems to say that you see a distinction between what he feels and how it comes across, but you seem to be reacting to the latter.