Meeting a client in public

[zach_wilson]

So recently I ran into someone out at the bar whilst out with friends whom had seen my ad and was wanting to book me but said he left the next morning early in the am and that he would more than compensate me if i could leave a little early from my friends to see him. I felt bad that he left early the next morning and happily agreed to go ahead and see him that evening. At the end of our session a total of two and a half hours he said "I didn't really enjoy myself so here is 30$ to get home but i am not paying your rate" I felt so saddened by this as we did everything agreed upon and i held up my end of the bargain. I am wondering if from now on if I am approached in public about seeing someone if i should just send them to the website and say please book an scheduled appointment. So that maybe this doesn't happen again. I feel that because it was in a casual setting this is why he felt he didn't have to pay the agreed upon rated please help?

[bigvalboy]

Well I think that it is outrageous that a client would cheat you like that. I don't think that he would have paid your rate regardless of how you met or booked. Unscrupulous people don't suddenly become honorable, they often delight in the fact that they think they got a deal...I have talked casually with people out at bars and parties that tell me stories of how they refused to pay an escort when the session was over. It brought them great delight and a sense of satisfaction. Well, I might be an aging hippie, but I still believe in 'Karma'...what is amusing to me is that they do not realize that in the end, they are the big losers in all of this...

 

That being said, going forward perhaps all bookings should be through your website. I believe that escorts should find a nice balance between their personal life and their working life, and cutting time short with friends, you got cheated twice. Best of luck in the future.

[+ FreshFluff]

I am wondering if from now on if I am approached in public about seeing someone if i should just send them to the website and say please book an scheduled appointment. So that maybe this doesn't happen again. I feel that because it was in a casual setting this is why he felt he didn't have to pay the agreed upon rated please help?

 

I'm not a client, but I do talk to service providers of all kinds who have pricing problems. I think this is the right solution. The casual setting is part of the problem. ("Why should I pay him when I could have picked up another guy there for free?" he thinks even if he could never pick up a guy who's as attractive and interesting as you.) I think the other part is that people often don't appreciate what they can get too readily. You'll lose a few real clients along with the scammers, but I think it's worth it to preserve your brand image. T

 

This is the second thread I've seen that brought up scammers posing as clients. In this case, it's especially egregious because he had seen your ad and even said he'd pay you extra.

[instudiocity]

Zach, I hate to hear about this.

 

But, I wonder if it might be better for your to act totally ignorant about your escorting when you're approached in public? It seems to me the best way for you to protect yourself from not only someone like this jerk, but from the many possibilities that could happen, would be for you to deny you're the escort in the ad anytime someone might suggest it in public. It just seems to me that from a vetting standpoint and from a self-protection standpoint public anonymity is better than getting hired in a bar by a stranger.

 

Just my two-cents worth. I enjoy your posts and can't wait to be in the same bed with you.

[BSR]

Uh ... it took him two and a half hours to realize that he wasn't enjoying the session?!? Zach, I am so sorry you got scammed, but I have to think that this guy would have cheated you out of your fee whether you met him in a bar or via your web ad(s). Whether or not connecting with clients in a casual setting cheapens your brand is a discussion that others can weigh in on, but the circumstances by which you met this client have nothing to do with the reason he (shamelessly!) ripped you off.

 

As with Griffin's rip-off client in another thread, there was nothing you could have done to prevent this because this assh*le intended to rip you off from the start. Even if you had clearly stated your fee, even if you agreed to the amount of time for the session, even if you asked him to show you that he had sufficient cash, he STILL would have swindled you because he's a selfish, lying little f*ckface!!

 

I can think of only two next steps: 1) blacklist him, if that's even possible (did you ever get any of his contact info?). Even if you could blacklist him, the scammer could easily switch up his phone number or email address, so that probably won't make much of a difference. And 2) go over the initial interaction with him in your mind and try to pick up on whatever red flags you might have missed. Rip-off artists almost always have a tell, if not several: a story that doesn't quite add up, a nervousness about something that he shouldn't be nervous about, an over-friendliness, something that doesn't feel quite right. The School of Hard Knocks absolutely SUCKS!! But it's also a part of life for everybody, unfortunately, not just escorts.

[zach_wilson]

I agree instudiocity however escorting is my career and I love what I do. I have even gone with clients out to the local bar so everyone here knows what I do and I don't mind it. However I do like to keep the two lives personal and otherwise a bit separated but its proving a bit hard to do. For example I have my grindr app for more personal reasons, so that i may make friends whilst traveling. However it never fails for someone to ask to hire me from there. I used to have an adam4adam account(now deleted) but i would recognize screen names from ad responses and reaffirm to them that i am still available for hire. Is it going the way that if you are on any of these sites or out in public it is considered casual and that compensation for time is not expected?

[unsub2O17]

I agree instudiocity however escorting is my career and I love what I do. I have even gone with clients out to the local bar so everyone here knows what I do and I don't mind it. However I do like to keep the two lives personal and otherwise a bit separated but its proving a bit hard to do. For example I have my grindr app for more personal reasons, so that i may make friends whilst traveling. However it never fails for someone to ask to hire me from there. I used to have an adam4adam account(now deleted) but i would recognize screen names from ad responses and reaffirm to them that i am still available for hire. Is it going the way that if you are on any of these sites or out in public it is considered casual and that compensation for time is not expected?

 

In a word, "No"! This guy said he would compensate you, and he didn't. That's a swindle/scam pure and simple. Do what you can to warn other escorts about him.

[instudiocity]

I agree instudiocity however escorting is my career and I love what I do. I have even gone with clients out to the local bar so everyone here knows what I do and I don't mind it. However I do like to keep the two lives personal and otherwise a bit separated but its proving a bit hard to do.

I just believe that if you're a career escort, there should be a protocol for scheduling your professional services that would never include an in-bar, meet and greet then hook-up. I don't know what measures you normally take for your personal safety, but completing a business transaction on the spur of the moment in a bar where someone has recognized you, wouldn't fit into any safety protocol I could imagine. Going out with a properly vetted client is far different from negotiating an immediate transaction with someone you don't know. I'd personally be wary of approaching any escort I might see without introducing myself through his advertised methods of contact. How should anyone who recognizes any escort in public know that they could out him as an escort?

 

For example I have my grindr app for more personal reasons, so that i may make friends whilst traveling. However it never fails for someone to ask to hire me from there. I used to have an adam4adam account(now deleted) but i would recognize screen names from ad responses and reaffirm to them that i am still available for hire. Is it going the way that if you are on any of these sites or out in public it is considered casual and that compensation for time is not expected?

A hot, sexy young man like you should have a Grindr app and you should use it. But I'd suggest that you not use the same pictures and screen name on Grindr as you do for escort photos and name. You must provide separation between your escort persona and your personal life and Grindr persona. If you separate the personal from the professional, you can help eliminate people who crossing-over from Grindr and the bar into hiring. It puts the PROFESSIONAL in your escort persona and you shouldn't be having escort clients hitting on you, or your Grindr acct - escorting is against Grindr's Terms of Service anyway.

 

Your question is a good one. And the guy that refused to pay you is a lying jerk. He used you. He was a lying promiser who reneged on his promises. From my point-of-view, it was a dangerous situation from the very beginning, and while I'm pissed at the jerk, I'm grateful your injuries were mostly financial, and maybe emotional.

 

You're a good guy. Please be careful with you...

[uwsman2]

OF course, if you connected with this guy in a bar, you probably would not have any contact info, so blacklisting him would be difficult without that.

[+ purplekow]

No one should be surprised that in a business setting in which a service is supplied and then compensated, that a certain percentage of people will take the service and refuse to make the payment. In my 20 year old business, if I had been fully compensated for all the services I provided, i could be retired now instead of facing 5 more years of working. So in essence, those rip off artists have collectively stolen 5 years of my life.

Similarly, when dealing with a service provider who expects to be paid in advance, do not be surprised by shoddy workmanship and unfinished work. How many of us here have contracted for home repairs only to pay and wind up dissatisfied.

The escort business is no different than any other service in this regard. As a client, pay early and you will eventually get ripped off. As a provider, complete the service without payment, and eventually you will be ripped off.

You can limit your risk on either end by being diligent, hiring with recommendations, screening as best you can but if you are providing a service, expect the inevitable.

[Michael Wayne]

if u r sure he isnt an undercover detective then cash up front would have prevented this from happening to you. I never ask on a one hour but for multiple hours it is advised with a new client these days.

[+ FreshFluff]

FreshFluff, I'm sorry but I look different at the thought "Why should I pay him when I could have picked up another guy there for free?" My answer is as follows: if this "client" thinks he could have picked up another guy there for free, then that's exactly what the guy should have done; pick up another guy there for free !!!.

 

Anton, I completely agree with that. But there are some guys who use this as an excuse not to pay.

 

But as others have pointed out, there are also scammers will shortchange or not pay you no matter what the setting. There's another thread about this exact situation.