Debating again the use of A4A...valid reasons?

[JoeyBryant]

I've been using the site steady for a couple months recently, but lately decided not to put up an ad again. I seem to get a 'decent' amount of visits, but it just involves long hours of sitting in front of the computer (or constantly checking my phone to see messages, from dead wood) , sifting thru mail, the responding back and forth for several minutes, even hours...often for it to not even go through. My last appointment from it involved being up til 2 in the morning 1 night...it went well, but still. All those hours.

 

The other thing is having to put myself 'out there'. I find even when I don't show my face, I still find myself getting found out by acquientences out and about. I can almost imagine those who advertise there probably already have their 'relationship', even sex buddy cards in place, so they have nothing to lose by advertising there. But for someone like me who is single and dating, wouldn't that be counter-productive to that goal? I can't name the amount of times during my last ad cycle that people have either harrassed me after finding out I was an escort on there or said, "yeah we can hookup, but I'm not paying for it" when I met them through another website but they seen my ad. Just all that kind of silly stuff.

 

I paid for an ad a few days ago, but then emailed customer service to remove and have it refunded a day or 2 later. I just dreaded the thought of going through yet another plethora of profiles messaging me, then having people who recognize me send a message saying LOL, or to make fun of me. I just figured is it really worth the few clients a month I may get on there to deal with all that frustration? I figured no, but at the same time it did get me in touch with some great clients that I'm not sure I would have met on the main escort sites. So I pretty much just cut that segment out completely by not advertising there.

[Jscott]

Wouldn't it depend to an extent on how well your other outlets perform?

 

Perhaps there are compromises. IMHO A4A might work particularly well if you're traveling. Friends and potential dates would be less likely to encounter your photos. And there's always the option of making face pics private (though you state that you were discovered). The same would hold true for other socio-sexual sites like GayRomeo. But ultimately being found out is the risk you run advertising as an escort; sometimes our worlds collide no matter how carefully we compartmentalize. Hope that helps.

[JoeyBryant]

Wouldn't it depend to an extent on how well your other outlets perform?

 

Perhaps there are compromises. IMHO A4A might work particularly well if you're traveling. Friends and potential dates would be less likely to encounter your photos. And there's always the option of making face pics private (though you state that you were discovered). The same would hold true for other socio-sexual sites like GayRomeo. But ultimately being found out is the risk you run advertising as an escort; sometimes our worlds collide no matter how carefully we compartmentalize. Hope that helps.

 

My other outlets have been so, so...to say the least.

 

Ugh...I'm almost in (virtual) tears right now (of embarrassment). I just put an ad back up, well because I found out I have photos I can use that don't show my face at all, but they aren't cropped. I don't like headless pics. Well, low and behold I see a guy I met from Grindr who I dated briefly and things seemed to be going well and then for no reason he just disappeared after the 3rd time we met. I spoke to him recently very briefly, but he hasn't talked about meeting up at all. Oh well, I'm dating someone else now anyway.

 

This guy is on adam tonight and just looked at my ad! I don't know if he noticed me or not...but it just goes to show. What if he already knew and just didn't want to tell me? Just makes me paranoid, but hopefully these other pics will make me less recognizable and I'm not using any phone number because it traces back to certain escort sites that I do show myself on. So if I'm going to use it, I have to be sure to cut down on alot of things.

 

With what you said, I also vowed to only use a4a when I'm traveling as well...especially since nowadays I don't really go out and try to meet with guys for dates like I used to. Just find I rarely have the time, unless it's someone from the forum I will make time for. But, I don't like pre-advertising for places on adam because too many times people will say they want to meet, and then I get there they are full of crap. It's mainly only good for last minute type of stuff.

[Jscott]

Bryant, don't drive yourself crazy second-guessing and floating what-if scenarios! (Though it's only human nature and we're all "guilty" at times, lol). More often than not the reason for someone's behavior isn't what we thought (sometime they don't even know themselves). And what if they did "out" you as an escort? If they can't accept you for who you are or what you do (or your comfort/trust level telling them in your own good time), would you really want to explore a closer relationship with them?

[JoeyBryant]

Bryant, don't drive yourself crazy second-guessing and floating what-if scenarios! (Though it's only human nature and we're all "guilty" at times, lol). More often than not the reason for someone's behavior isn't what we thought (sometime they don't even know themselves). And what if they did "out" you as an escort? If they can't accept you for who you are or what you do (or your comfort/trust level telling them in your own good time), would you really want to explore a closer relationship with them?

 

Well you are right on that point. Usually when someone finds out they bring it to my attention. But I wouldn't deny the fact that there are people who exist who won't even say anything but will still meet you on the lucky chance.

 

I just found it ironic and creepy that this same guy would be looking at my ad soon as I put it up. It's like really? Are people keeping tabs on me or something? Am I being watched my every move? It just bugs me because even during times I didn't have my ad up, or shortly after...I'd have people hit me up on there but they'd play all kinds of games with me, say they want to meet and never do...flake, and then I catch them looking at my ad a couple months later when I put it up.

 

It probably isn't even much to get too all worked up over to begin with. For one thing, most these guys on these websites especially adam4adam are just as 'bad' (for lack of better word) than I am. They switching and swapping thru guys in rapid succesion. Most of them probably aren't even available beyond anything more than sex. Over the years, I've met countless numbers of them, before I was escorting there and now currently. They always looking for the next best thing. Not all of them are that way, but most are. Whenever I meet a guy out and about, even at a bar...never once has anyone found out about me, except 1 friend who happened to just 'pick it up'. But that was different. That's sort of why I'm also considering using online only for meeting clients, not dates/friends, nothing.

 

Being in Colorado makes it especially ridiculous. The guys I like here are often not into me, and the ones who I'm not into won't leave me alone! Ugh, can't win here. Hopefully something good will happen between me and this other guy I met. So far, so good.

[Jscott]

Well you are right on that point. Usually when someone finds out they bring it to my attention. But I wouldn't deny the fact that there are people who exist who won't even say anything but will still meet you on the lucky chance.

 

I just found it ironic and creepy that this same guy would be looking at my ad soon as I put it up. It's like really? Are people keeping tabs on me or something? Am I being watched my every move? It just bugs me because even during times I didn't have my ad up, or shortly after...I'd have people hit me up on there but they'd play all kinds of games with me, say they want to meet and never do...flake, and then I catch them looking at my ad a couple months later when I put it up.

 

It probably isn't even much to get too all worked up over to begin with. For one thing, most these guys on these websites especially adam4adam are just as 'bad' (for lack of better word) than I am. They switching and swapping thru guys in rapid succesion. Most of them probably aren't even available beyond anything more than sex. Over the years, I've met countless numbers of them, before I was escorting there and now currently. They always looking for the next best thing. Not all of them are that way, but most are. Whenever I meet a guy out and about, even at a bar...never once has anyone found out about me, except 1 friend who happened to just 'pick it up'. But that was different. That's sort of why I'm also considering using online only for meeting clients, not dates/friends, nothing.

 

Being in Colorado makes it especially ridiculous. The guys I like here are often not into me, and the ones who I'm not into won't leave me alone! Ugh, can't win here. Hopefully something good will happen between me and this other guy I met. So far, so good.

 

Well, there probably are stalkers on A4A, all the more so in your line of work. Harmless, though, I would think: The kind who probably wouldn't summon the courage to call, let alone <gasp!> make an appointment... Restricting the online activity, as you say, is probably the easiest course of action, especially since we never know who's hiding behind the anonymity of the Internet.

 

Man, now I'm creeping myself out, thanks a lot, lol. Well, I'll keep my fingers crossed (when not typing) that things work out with the new guy.

[MrBigTL]

As a consumer of escorts, I frequently check Adam and have often set up some of my best times through A4A. I like it better than some of the others because I do get to interact a bit with the escort prior to hiring him.

[JoeyBryant]

As a consumer of escorts, I frequently check Adam and have often set up some of my best times through A4A. I like it better than some of the others because I do get to interact a bit with the escort prior to hiring him.

 

Ah, I meant to get back to this thead:

 

Ya know, truth be told sometimes I leave the thing up because It's not rare for me to meet some relatively hot guys from the site. Apparently, this hot bartender from 1 of the night clubs had recognized me (not sure how) and wanted to hook up with me. Well, originally I was just going to meet him 'off clock'...but he wanted me over at an odd hour when his roomie was asleep and I wasn't up for it. But then he offered some goodies and, the rest was all good. I also have some regs that I keep in contact with.

 

I guess it's not TOO bad, but it's almost like a necessary evil. Alot of the other sites just don't have as large an audience (again, pros and cons of that) I can get a client faster on adam than I can from rentboy for the same monthly price. I won't get rentboy rates, but I suppose it just depends on how much time one has to spend collecting clients. If you want them to just come to you, adam is not the place. Sometimes I spend hours and days trying to set something up.

 

As far as people noticing me, I just don't care all that much because most people from adam can't be trusted for monogamy. Hell, in my area they can't even be trusted to meet you in person! Bunch of flakes. Using it for escorting suits me just fine.