Noises Off

[Gar1eth]

I wasn't quite sure whether to post this in the Ask An Escort Section or here. But here goes. I'm a top- and fairly quiet during sex except for maybe right before I cum. I don't say f-ck a lot or grunt a lot unless I'm getting winded I also know I'm not the world's greatest lover. So when an escort is verbal during sex with me, I can't help thinking it might be fake- much like a porn movie. It reminds me of those beer ads on TV. I always think after seeing them that I've never had that much fun at a party in my life. So if the escorts are being fake- I realize it's to make me feel good. Unfortunately even in the cases where it's real- as I'm sure it occasionally might be- I feel like it's a compliment offered that I just can't accept. Anyone else have problems with noisy sex?

 

Gman

[+ Travis69]

Anyone else have problems with noisy sex?

 

Gman

 

Only my neighbors. I enjoy dirty talk and moans. Sex without them, in my eyes, is boring.

[bigvalboy]

Only my neighbors.:p I enjoy dirty talk and moans. Sex without them, in my eyes, is boring.

 

Concrete floors and sound proof walls are your friend.

[Gar1eth]

Only my neighbors. I enjoy dirty talk and moans. Sex without them, in my eyes, is boring.

 

I'd just like to feel confident they are real. For example- an escort I was doing an overnight with once asked me if I wanted to cum on his face. I didn't mind cuming on his face- but it's not particularly one of my fantasies with an escort. I told him that, and I was happy to do it if he liked it. He then said 'ok let's not'. And I think he went on to suck me off. So I hope I didn't insult him or anything. I just didnt want him to do anything he was only doing for me.

 

Gman

[McLeanspider]

... I also know I'm not the world's greatest lover. So when an escort is verbal during sex with me, I can't help thinking it might be fake- much like a porn movie. It reminds me of those beer ads on TV. I always think after seeing them that I've never had that much fun at a party in my life. So if the escorts are being fake- I realize it's to make me feel good. Unfortunately even in the cases where it's real- as I'm sure it occasionally might be- I feel like it's a compliment offered that I just can't accept.

Gman

 

I think you need to stop wondering so much about what an escort (someone you are paying to have sex with you) is thinking while having sex with you, I get the feeling you are just too concerned about things and you should take some time off, get a hobby, and take things from life as they come.

 

You are not happy if he doesn't moan or is verbal but if he moans or is too verbal, you are unhappy about him being fake... Just relax and enjoy life the more that you can.

[Gar1eth]

I think you need to stop wondering so much about what an escort (someone you are paying to have sex with you) is thinking while having sex with you, I get the feeling you are just too concerned about things and you should take some time off, get a hobby, and take things from life as they come.

 

You are not happy if he doesn't moan or is verbal but if he moans or is too verbal, you are unhappy about him being fake... Just relax and enjoy life the more that you can.

 

I'd like there to be as much 'realness' to the encounter as there can be.

 

Gman

[McLeanspider]

I'd like there to be as much 'realness' to the encounter as there can be.

 

Gman

 

Do you warn escorts about your body type before they come to see you?

[Gar1eth]

Do you warn escorts about your body type before they come to see you?

 

Yes- I let them know I'm a chubby/fat average looking middle- aged guy.

 

Gman

[Griffin Donavon]

Sex without moaning is like lifting without groaning for me, to hold it in wouldn't be as enjoyable to me. However anyone who fakes shame on them. It's more of a energy release and if you can't be open and hold it in I feel it ruins the vibe. I don't know about others but I have always moaned during sex.

[McLeanspider]

Sex without moaning is like lifting without groaning for me, to hold it in wouldn't be as enjoyable to me. However anyone who fakes shame on them. It's more of a energy release and if you can't be open and hold it in I feel it ruins the vibe. I don't know about others but I have always moaned during sex.

 

Do you also hump like a gorilla while having sex? I'm just kidding, moaning is fine but I think only girls get LOUD while getting fucked.

 

http://www.spitcircle.com/gallery/albums/funny-crazy-pictures/gorilla_hump.jpg

[Griffin Donavon]

Only if there are Bananas involved my Gorilla instincts start kicking in, watch out spider I'll go Donkey Kong on you! ;-) Everyone has a preference or view.

[Gar1eth]

...but I think only girls get LOUD while getting fucked.

 

You mean like this?

[video=youtube;8DuBpDS005k]

 

Gman

 

PS When I first saw Porky's, I thought Boyd Gaines was incredibly handsome. Seeing this now, I still think that.

[Gar1eth]

Sex without moaning is like lifting without groaning for me, to hold it in wouldn't be as enjoyable to me. However anyone who fakes shame on them. It's more of a energy release and if you can't be open and hold it in I feel it ruins the vibe. I don't know about others but I have always moaned during sex.

 

Thanks for reassuring me a bit.

 

Gman

[Toulouse]

Sex is as much mental as it is physical. Words and moans stimulate the mind. If my sex partners couldn’t make any sounds, it just would not be as hot, as passionate, or as satisfying. But, Gman, I agree with you that dirty talk must feel and sound authentic in order to be a real turn-on.

[Gar1eth]

Sex is as much mental as it is physical. Words and moans stimulate the mind. If my sex partners couldn’t make any sounds, it just would not be as hot, as passionate, or as satisfying. But, Gman, I agree with you that dirty talk must feel and sound authentic in order to be a real turn-on.

 

I probably think too much. There was a thread a few weeks ago about people being able to get totally lost in sex. While that can happen to me with a book, play, movie, and possibly television, it doesn't happen with sex. That doesn't mean I'm nervous or can't relax during sex- but I don't lose myself that way.

 

Gman

[big-n-tall]

I love when someone I'm with makes noise... be it a simple moan or yelling. One particular escort I see regularly makes a lot of noise, so much so he covers his mouth or bites the palm of his hand to keep from yelling. Which makes me just want to pound him harder.

 

But the moaning (noise) isn't the only thing. A lot of times I get turned on by the expressions on the the escorts face or how their body reacts during certain moments. One muscle dude I used to see drove me nuts when I gave him head because the sensation(s) made him quiver. The closer he got to climax his leg would shake. I loved doing that to him.

 

So if whomever i was with made not a peep, if they just physically reacted to what I was doing to them... it would turn me on just as much. But the combo of the two (sound & physical reaction) can sometimes push me over the edge faster than I'd like. LOL!

 

I have yet encountered anyone who seemed to fake. Nothing worse than a dead fish in bed.

[Xander]

I'm with you 100% G - I hate 'verbal' sex. I kind of enjoy the moaning/groaning etc but leave the talking to the politicians

[tyro]

I'm vocal, verbal, and loud -- and love when my partner is too.

T

PS I would NOT be nearly so impressed if I had any doubt my partner was being genuine, though.

[anotherjohnindupont]

I'm with you 100% G - I hate 'verbal' sex. I kind of enjoy the moaning/groaning etc but leave the talking to the politicians

 

I agree with you, I love moaning but I'm not very verbal while fucking/getting fucked.

[Juan Vancouver]

This needs to be said.

 

Gman,

 

I have been trying really hard not to engage in this thread but I am latino and restraint is not something of which I have a lot. Also, I see being an escort as being some sort of a coach, so I really feel that I have to chime in. I write this moved by tenderness and the voice of duty. I hope you keep this in mind when you read it.

 

You really are over thinking this issue... a lot. And by doing that you are (perhaps unwittingly) painting most escorts with the same brush. When you assume most escorts are flatterers you do realize that you are calling them liars, don't you? I guess I am a little sensitive to this since a few months back you called me a liar when I tried to refute you self deprecating rants.

 

My man, there is a terrible truth that you have to face once and for all:

 

Men can feel pleasure while having sex with you. They can and they have. Dude, get over it.

 

One doesn't need to be a 18 year old super model with ten pack abs and a 15 inch cock to give pleasure to other people. Pleasure comes from the intimate contact, from skin rubbing against skin, from tenderness or roughness, from openness, from connection. Everyone can give pleasure to his or her partner. But let me write this again:

 

Everyone can give pleasure to his partner. And yes, that includes you.

 

I believe you when you say that you look at those beer ads and think that you have never had so much fun at a party. I also believe you when you say that you have never felt the urge to vocalize loudly during sex. But that is not because having fun at parties or feeling a lot of pleasure during sex are a mirage that publicists around the world and lying escorts are using to sell more products. Fun parties and pleasurable sex -so pleasurable that one has to groan, moan, purr or scream- are a reality. This. Shit. Happens. My guess would be that if both have eluded you to this day it is because you are entirely in your head, constantly evaluating the situation instead of surrendering to it.

 

It's never too late to learn a new trick or to develop habits that are conducive to a more fulfilling life. I passionately encourage you to learn to spot the constant inner critic in your head, and when you hear his voice I invite you to breathe deeply, focus on the pleasure of breathing and try to focus your attention on the beauty that is happening. There is always something beautiful around, at all times. When you see your partner moan in the throes of passion, if instead of going to your head wondering whether he is faking it to flatter you you actually relaxed, breathed deeply and focused on the sensations of your body, I assure you that soon you would feel the need to release that pent up energy through your voice. If you relaxed into the moment you would be able to lose yourself into it the same way you do with a great book.

 

You say that you want realness to the encounter but then secretly wish your lover was not surrendering to the pleasure he is feeling... I am sorry, that just doesn't add up.

 

My dear Gman, I call upon all your attention to hear this: Men do and have had pleasure having sex with you. This is a reality. Wouldn't it be kind of a waste to years from now die and realize that many men who you found to be hot and sexy actually had a good time with you... and you worked really hard to not notice it? And you wrote it off to them being lying *****s? Don't you think that would be a terrible waste?

 

Parties can be super fun but they can also be super stressful when you are standing there, panicked, not wanting to take the risk to talk to someone, to join a group, to get up and dance. The party is happening all around you and you are too busy over thinking everything and playing that old tape telling yourself that you are inadequate.

 

You are not.

 

Get up and dance.

[Juan Vancouver]

P.S. And you are not the only one who has had paralyzing thoughts. You are not the only one who has been so afraid at the party that you can't even get up and try the dip... We have all been there. We have all had our insecurities triggered and our confidence damaged at one time or another. Even the incredibly young, beautiful, apparently perfect escorts that you may think have never had a doubting moment in their lives have those feelings every now and then. The point is not whether or not you have them, the point is what you make out of them.

 

Let them go. Those thoughts are a load of poppycock.

[Gar1eth]

Well you are most likely right, Juan. Funny in part you are telling me not to be so negative. In a different context, my one friend told me this to my face about an hour ago.

 

Gman

[orbital sander]

When people run themselves down all the time, I start to get frustrated and move on. I have no doubt that you are a fine person, however, until YOU believe it, I would guess that you will continue to have failure with others. I cannot speak for others, but I find myself starting to believe that this self negativity is all you are going to talk about, and I find my interest drift.

 

I am not trying to be mean or insensitive, but you are starting to sound like a broken record, and I do not believe that you are one. We could spend a 100 hours telling you what you should be doing, but in the end that does not mean shit until you decide to believe in yourself.

 

Best of luck to you,

 

The work to find comfort in yourself is probably not easy, but it would be worth it.

[unsub2O17]

Juan's post has a much wider application than just to Gman's self-image. The whole issue of an escort's sincerity (is it really just the money?) won't go away because it has varying answers with each escort/client encounter. To me, it's not so much an issue of "lying" as it is an issue of "what's to be gained by assuming the negative?". Answer: "nothing but a compromised experience". So, you may as well go with the positive assumption and have a blast.

[marylander1940]

When people run themselves down all the time, I start to get frustrated and move on. I have no doubt that you are a fine person, however, until YOU believe it, I would guess that you will continue to have failure with others. I cannot speak for others, but I find myself starting to believe that this self negativity is all you are going to talk about, and I find my interest drift.

 

I am not trying to be mean or insensitive, but you are starting to sound like a broken record, and I do not believe that you are one. We could spend a 100 hours telling you what you should be doing, but in the end that does not mean shit until you decide to believe in yourself.

 

Best of luck to you,

 

The work to find comfort in yourself is probably not easy, but it would be worth it.

 

Well said, we've all have issues, but we should deal with them and not sound like a "broken record".

Do something about it with your online "buddies" but also in the real world with our friends, neighbors and family.