A 300+ Pound Man Entered Johnny's Amateur Strip Contest Tonight

[Jake]

... and the got the biggest reaction of the night. It pretty much sums up the weekend here in Ft. Lauderdale.

 

It's 2am and I'm still a bit more thatn tipsy... so I'll wait to post my full review of our weekend in Fort Lauderdale, but suffice it so say, Johnny's has taken a huge downward turn. Absolutely horrible. A couple 5's and 6's at best. We spent a few hours at Swinging Richard's last night. Found a few cuties, but $140 for 15 minutes is absurd. Overall, this weekend in South Florida was just one giant DUD.

 

Fort Lauderale has died. And I'm bummed about it.

 

There were 2 or 3 hot dancers at Boardwalk... that's it. But since they knew they were the hottest of the bunch, they had the attitude to go along with it. They put in zero effort to seduce.

 

And Johnny's... one of my favorite clubs (read my past reviews) was a vast wasteland of nothing. We were hoping that Sunday night would salvage the weekend trip. Nope. Just an aboslute disaster. And this is peak season?

 

I'm disgusted by the garbage we saw this weekend. I feel bad for my friend who flew hundreds of miles. He's leaving tomorrow without having done a single lap dance.

[twinkboylover28]

... and the got the biggest reaction of the night. It pretty much sums up the weekend here in Ft. Lauderdale.

 

It's 2am and I'm still a bit more thatn tipsy... so I'll wait to post my full review of our weekend in Fort Lauderdale, but suffice it so say, Johnny's has taken a huge downward turn. Absolutely horrible. A couple 5's and 6's at best. We spent a few hours at Swinging Richard's last night. Found a few cuties, but $140 for 15 minutes is absurd. Overall, this weekend in South Florida was just one giant DUD.

 

Fort Lauderale has died. And I'm bummed about it.

 

There were 2 or 3 hot dancers at Boardwalk... that's it. But since they knew they were the hottest of the bunch, they had the attitude to go along with it. They put in zero effort to seduce.

 

And Johnny's... one of my favorite clubs (read my past reviews) was a vast wasteland of nothing. We were hoping that Sunday night would salvage the weekend trip. Nope. Just an aboslute disaster. And this is peak season?

 

I'm disgusted by the garbage we saw this weekend. I feel bad for my friend who flew hundreds of miles. He's leaving tomorrow without having done a single lap dance.

 

This is EXACTLY how I felt on my last trip to TABOO in Montreal last September. I'm surprised Florida had a lack of skinny twinks during peak season. Here in Detroit, the Gold Coast is a vast wasteland of over-the-hill dancers and twink wannabes. I wouldn't be surprised if the Gold Coast is on the verge of going out of business. Hopefully my trip to Montreal this Spring will be more fruitful. Just make sure the dancers don't spill any drinks all over your clothes, because Taboo management could straight-up care less about replacing your drink their employee spilled, or your dry cleaning bill.

[Jake]

Taboo has been great in recent years for us. But I remember your whole story... I still think it's an isolated incident and you just have a bad taste in your mouth after it. Gotta move on man!

 

Anyway... my buddy flew home this morning. We always have a great time when we do our weekends together... boozin' it up, checking out guys everywhere (not just the clubs)... it's just always fun experiencing these places with a buddy!

 

That said, this weekend was just horrible at Boardwalk and Johnny's. I can't believe I'm saying this but Boardwalk had hotter guys this trip. In my 3 or so years of coming to Ft Lauderdale, I've never said that.

 

Each night we started out at Boardwalk as we usually do... take in the 2 for 1 drink special... watch some of the fifty-something strippers lean back and forth (can't really call it dancing can you?), and hope for the occasional needle in the haystack hottie to pop out from the back.

 

There were the usual suspects... the short twink Frankie, the old fossils Jimmy & the other 50s guy whose name I can't remember, Corey the Kid Rock looking early 20s guy. Some new faces included a guy named Cody I think - tall slender twink with a little chest hair and exotic eyes. Brownish/blond hair. Cute, but as often happens when they realize they're the hottest one in the place, he puts in zero effort in mingling and seducing. So we enjoyed watching him dance on stage and that was about it. He was not enjoying it as much as we were judging by the "I wish I was playing on my iPhone" look on his face when he wasn't yelling at the drag queen host to move the rotation along so he could get off stage.

 

Another contender was a twink I remember from our last trip. Again... same deal, cute. Not toned, but nice body. The usual short spiky gay twink haircut and prissy "I'm the shit" personality to match. He had no game whatsoever in terms of winning us over. Then there was a model gorgeous guy who looked like Jaason Simmons from Baywatch back in the 90s. Flowing long blond hair, model face, nice body... just wasn't my type. But drop dead gorgeous.

 

I know many love her, but I was happy to not see Auntie Mame. Some Suzie Orman looking drag queen hosted all weekend.

 

Each night we peaced out of Boardwalk shortly after the drink special ended.

 

Now... Johnny's. Our never fail go to option for great college twink eye candy. As the sign proudly says... the hottest dancers on planet Earth. Well if that's the case, I need to explore space travel.

 

Fucking disaster this weekend. On the last couple trips, Friday and Saturday nights were disappointing, but for some reason Sunday nights rocked. Not this weekend. 0 for 3. When Sasha the annoying blond pest starts to become an option, you know the place has gone downhill.

 

Listen, I'll be blunt. I like my guys white as a glass of milk. Same goes for my buddy. We were screwed. One guy Rio had my attention, but never made an effort to chat. He spent most of his time on the side stages. Maybe $1's are all he wants. He reminds me a lot of Chris Brown... lots of style, great dancer, sexy moves, defined body, not too many tats... very sexy. I was willing to be his Rihanna even though I, uh, you know, normally don't swing that way racially.

 

One of the few honkies there was by no means a 10, but he was sort of cute. In desperation, I started chatting him up. His charm evaporated quickly as he told the tale of his (bad) tattoos... of how each one represented a friend who had killed himself. Oh well that's nice.

 

On Saturday night, we did the unthinkable... we went to Swinging Richards in Miami. It was a short drive, 20 minutes... and both Ft Lauderdale clubs were complete bombs. We knew going in that we weren't going to have the kind of fun we wanted to have, but the place is beautiful and professional. We quickly spotted 2 or 3 twinks who haven't overdone the workout routine and protein shakes yet. One was a floppy blond haired twinky shot boy. The other was a sexy guy from Croatia, who had a great smile and a nice toned gym bod, and great personality. I knew the prices were insane at SR, but couldn't remember the specifics... I thought, maybe I'll splurge. Then I saw the rate card. $140 for 15 minutes for privacy. Or $20 a song and a $10 wristband for "VIP" (where anyone can see in... Boardwalk style). Eff that. Just gave him a $20 for chatting and cuddling with us and we just sat back and took in the sights.

 

Alright, getting close to 11, gotta shower and check out. Sorry to be a downer with this post. My buddy and I have noticed the decline in Ft Lauderdale the past few visits, but this trip was just the absolute worst. Fortunately we stayed at a hotel near a soccer field and all the players were staying at the hotel. We had a room overlooking the pool. Nuff said.

[Jake]

Oh... one other note...

 

Cover at Johnny's Saturday night? $10!!! I expected to get bent over at Swinging Richards... and at SR, I don't feel too ripped off paying $15. But Johnny's doesn't deserve to charge a cover... let alone doubling it to $10 now. Don't know when that started, but they better put those "free admission" coupons back in the local gay mags or Grind'r specials back in place fast. Otherwise if it's past 9pm, we'll just stay at Boardwalk.

[bigvalboy]

Oh... one other note...

 

Cover at Johnny's Saturday night? $10!!! I expected to get bent over at Swinging Richards... and at SR, I don't feel too ripped off paying $15. But Johnny's doesn't deserve to charge a cover... let alone doubling it to $10 now. Don't know when that started, but they better put those "free admission" coupons back in the local gay mags or Grind'r specials back in place fast. Otherwise if it's past 9pm, we'll just stay at Boardwalk.

 

Yeah the cover at Johnny's is ridiculous, but the 300 pounder was a lot of fun. Only 3 good dancers at Johnny's. Jason, Dimitri (a real sweetheart) and Jake, but not really worth the trip. The Boardwalk has Jeff and Hunter, and there is Danny (the best bartender in the world) Hunter and I spent a couple of pretty fantastic nights at the club together. Ok, he knows he hot, but did a nice job seducing me. I guess you could say that I drank the cool-aid. We have arranged a long weekend together, in the near future. It was almost memorable. Despite the miserable dancers at Dudes, I have been going there to see Alex the bartender. Drop dead gorgeous, built like a "brick shit house"and a real sweet guy. He alone is worth the trip. Ok, so he might/probably is straight, but he mentioned meeting him at the sandbar at Biscayne Bay. Hell, I don't care who he sleeps with, I'm in.

[Jake]

I'm terrible with names, so I don't know which ones those were. Glad you were able to salvage the weekend. The soccer players at our hotel fortunately salvaged ours. Unfortunately we couldn't stick $1's in their shorts as they walked by. Apparently thats frowned upon.

 

For me, Ft Lauderdale is a (long) road trip. I just feel bad for my buddy who flew halfway across the country. We went out all 3 nights and there wasn't one dancer he wanted to get a private with. (There were a few at SR, but he didn't want to take out another mortgage on his condo.) That's never happened in any of our dozen or so trips together. I've seen the guy do 4 private dances a night. We both went home yesterday with far too much cash in our wallets! If it was a Vegas trip that'd be a good thing. In Montreal & Fort Lauderdale, we love going home broke!

 

The 300 pound was great comic relief, but the premise of a guy doing that is the irony that the rest of the competitors should be hot. They weren't. Again, maybe it's a matter of preference. Contestant #2 was also overweight (just not obese). The last contestant they scrounged up last minute wasn't so bad, but again, I'm just not into black guys.

 

Will we go back to Fort Lauderdale? Sure. We're not going to let one dud weekend at the clubs ruin the dozens of crazy fun nights we've had there. It was just frustrating after weeks of anticipation to walk through those doors 3 nights in a row and look at each other with raised eyebrows.

[bigvalboy]

I'm terrible with names, so I don't know which ones those were. Glad you were able to salvage the weekend. The soccer players at our hotel fortunately salvaged ours. Unfortunately we couldn't stick $1's in their shorts as they walked by. Apparently thats frowned upon.

 

For me, Ft Lauderdale is a (long) road trip. I just feel bad for my buddy who flew halfway across the country. We went out all 3 nights and there wasn't one dancer he wanted to get a private with. (There were a few at SR, but he didn't want to take out another mortgage on his condo.) That's never happened in any of our dozen or so trips together. I've seen the guy do 4 private dances a night. We both went home yesterday with far too much cash in our wallets! If it was a Vegas trip that'd be a good thing. In Montreal & Fort Lauderdale, we love going home broke!

 

The 300 pound was great comic relief, but the premise of a guy doing that is the irony that the rest of the competitors should be hot. They weren't. Again, maybe it's a matter of preference. Contestant #2 was also overweight (just not obese). The last contestant they scrounged up last minute wasn't so bad, but again, I'm just not into black guys.

 

Will we go back to Fort Lauderdale? Sure. We're not going to let one dud weekend at the clubs ruin the dozens of crazy fun nights we've had there. It was just frustrating after weeks of anticipation to walk through those doors 3 nights in a row and look at each other with raised eyebrows.

 

Sadly you are not alone in your assessment of FTL. It is really hit and miss, but when you "hit" damn is it worth it. Like Hunter from the Boardwalk, incredible find, but he doesn't always work, and he just told me that SR invited him on the "gay cruise" and when he returned, offered him a job, so it looks like I will be gassing up the car and heading south bound on I-95 to make the run to SR.... The talk of the lack of quality in the boys in FTL is the talk of the town. For now it appears that SR is the only "real" game in town, but like you said, it is always an expensive proposition at SR.

[Jake]

Yeah it's too bad. Some new management I think is needed at both Johnny's and Boardwalk. They don't seem too worried. The bald guy who runs Johnny's was laughing it up and cuddling with his dancers. (Any HR lawyers could have a field day with these clubs lol!) Instead, it might be a good idea to talk to the few customers he has left. Last time I was there, I pulled him aside to chat. He listened but was half interested in some suggestions. He just nodded, smiled and walked away to stand by himself.

 

That $10 cover really left a bad taste in my mouth. Can I afford it? Sure. But it's the principle... you're going to charge me twice as much for a roster that's 1/10 as good as it was a year or two ago?

 

That 300 pound guy doing the amateur show said it all. I know it was supposed to be funny, but my friend dropped $300 for a flight and $150 for his share of the hotel room for this joke.

[+ newatthis]

Jake -- you would have had better luck at Johnny's during the week (we seem to have missed each other yet again). I just got back from doing Mon, Tue, Wed there. Wed was bad...more or less the way you described. Monday was respectable...I was tempted into lap dances with 4 guys, all of whom fit the muscled twink or swimmer's profile. The lap dances were fun; I'd rate them a B. Tue started out bad, but got better once frenetic Leo took the stage...infused a lot of energy into the place. I made a connection with a great dancer who provided some companionship the next day...real sweety.

 

Someone mentioned bartenders...Johnny's still has the incomparable Mike and Roger. They were hanging out there even on their night off.

 

But yes...after 2 visits to Johnny's recently when every night was an A+, this visit was a something of a letdown.

[+ jeezopete]

Jake, man I feel so bad for you. I know how much you were looking forward to that trip! I had planned to go the weekend before you but cancelled due to the lousy weather forecast. Will go later this spring for my birthday though, and hope to have some better luck…I’ll let you know. I’ve been checking out the Boardwalk guys on the webcams & see some I like there. I know you & I have different tastes, though.

 

On a side note, there have been some new twinks at Liquid recently so you may want to check back in there. “Derek” had a friend there a few nights & on Sat. the friend was strolling around in his underwear. Also, the dancer you met at the Skin event has danced at Liquid a few times now. I’ll be there this weekend (as usual) so give me a heads up if you stop by!

[Gar1eth]

I'm sorry you had a bad time. My question would be what about us guys who aren't into twinks- but like muscle or boy next store athletic/muscle types. Were there any of those types of guys there?

 

Gman

[Becket]

If you are ever at SR, check out Rocky. Baby face with rockin body. And a beautiful ass. He'll cuddle with you and make you feel special......if the price is right of course. But I like the guy. He started out in the Atlanta location but found he could do much better in FLL. And he even does "private" visits at your home or hotel if he feels comfortable enough. Totally gay for pay, but if the guy hits all your buttons you can deal with it once in a while. Oops, sorry....this is turning into a review......bad becket!!!

[bigvalboy]

If you are ever at SR, check out Rocky. Baby face with rockin body. And a beautiful ass. He'll cuddle with you and make you feel special......if the price is right of course. But I like the guy. He started out in the Atlanta location but found he could do much better in FLL. And he even does "private" visits at your home or hotel if he feels comfortable enough. Totally gay for pay, but if the guy hits all your buttons you can deal with it once in a while. Oops, sorry....this is turning into a review......bad becket!!!

 

No no no..."Good Becket" this is the kind of info that we all need....Thank you for the heads up. Friends will be flying into FTL and we are planning an entire evening at SR. It is only one night, so if he is there I will look him up for sure...

[+ BOZO T CLOWN]

If you are ever at SR, check out Rocky. Baby face with rockin body. And a beautiful ass. He'll cuddle with you and make you feel special......if the price is right of course. But I like the guy. He started out in the Atlanta location but found he could do much better in FLL. And he even does "private" visits at your home or hotel if he feels comfortable enough. Totally gay for pay, but if the guy hits all your buttons you can deal with it once in a while. Oops, sorry....this is turning into a review......bad becket!!!

 

If it's blonde Rocky from Alabama with the tattoos, forget it. He's gone. Don't know where, though I would love to know. Rocky hasn't been at Swinging Richards for almost a month. Too bad, cause he was definitely a keeper.

This past weekend, Swinging Richards was packed. Two thirds of the dancers are Latino, so if you prefer your boys uncut, and from south of the border or the Caribbean, you'll love Swinging Richards. Still waiting for any one of the South Florida clubs to unilaterally take the bold step and ban indoor smoking in its venue. It's just unbelievable that Florida allows indoor smoking in bars

 

Bozo

[Jake]

I'm sorry you had a bad time. My question would be what about us guys who aren't into twinks- but like muscle or boy next store athletic/muscle types. Were there any of those types of guys there?

 

Gman

 

Hey Gman, yeah I always preface my reviews with the fact I'm not into the buff guys... but that particular weekend, it was a wasteland of fugly in that department too. Just a lot of old, burned out "furniture." Certainly you would find some hot guys your type though at Swinging Richards. I can afford, but not justify, that pricetag for private fun. $500 an hour? Puhleeeez! You not only have to look like Zac Efron at that price point, you have to BE Zac Efron!

[+ BOZO T CLOWN]

If you are ever at SR, check out Rocky. Baby face with rockin body. And a beautiful ass. He'll cuddle with you and make you feel special......if the price is right of course. But I like the guy. He started out in the Atlanta location but found he could do much better in FLL. And he even does "private" visits at your home or hotel if he feels comfortable enough. Totally gay for pay, but if the guy hits all your buttons you can deal with it once in a while. Oops, sorry....this is turning into a review......bad becket!!!

 

Got the shock of my life when I saw Rocky dancing last night at Swinging Richards. He looked bigger and better than ever (even with those hideous tattoos), and much more "frisky" than in the past . Apparently, last night was Rocky's farewell swan song, ah, I mean swan dance.. He's returning to Alabama to go to college (so he says). Too bad. Although as a wise Quebecois deejay once said, "They always come back". I hope Rocky does.

 

Bozo

[bigvalboy]

Leaving for SR in a few hours with friends from out of town...I will attempt a report, but BVB does tend to drink, and I forget to write down names, so if a report is not forth coming, please forgive.

 

We did go to the Boardwalk. I won twice on the raffle..lol and I gotta say that it was a stellar night. I was a bit surprised. Hunter the dancer simply arrived then promptly left with a customer. "A day late and a dollar short" as they say, but I still had fun. The line-up wasn't bad, and the boys a little more playful...