A trip to Orlando

[gallahadesquire]

My 'go to" guy happens to have the time away from his studies, at the same time that I have a timeshare reservation at Disneyworld.

 

I'm confused. Last time I paid him a fee, and he provided some services (fewer / less than I would have liked) but overall we had

a great time. I pretty much have all of WDW imprinted on my brain.

 

I mentioned I was going to go down on 3/17. He mentioned that that was his first day of School Vacation. (he also has a job, 8:30 to 5:00)

 

So I have questions:

1. how do I ask whether I am going to give him "companion Pay" in addition to (a) First class flight (b) all expenses paid

2. Our relationship has metamorphised. I'm not sure he'd be a companion; so why should I pay companion fees?

3. What's the best way for me to clear up what my expectations are and HIS expectations are?

4. I should explain: We've developed quite a friendship outside of sex.

 

Addendum: I don't so much want sex as I want cuddling companionship.

 

I guess I really want to know: How's the best way to clarify these issues before I [and we] go?

[unsub2O17]

G.

 

What answer to your questions would you want in order to feel good about paying him his full "companion fees"? Once you're clear in your own mind what you really want, I bet you'll know how to ask and be okay with whatever answers you get.

[jimboivyo]

just be up front. youre complicating this with too many what ifs

 

many of us develop friendship with the guys we see, but that doesn't mean an escort doesn't need to make a living. never forget this is his way to make money.

[EZEtoGRU]

G.

 

What answer to your questions would you want in order to feel good about paying him his full "companion fees"? Once you're clear in your own mind what you really want, I bet you'll know how to ask and be okay with whatever answers you get.

 

I agree with unsub. Once you are clear in your own mind what you want from the get-together, communicate that to him and find out what he wants from you in return. I would get this done ASAP so that he can make other plans in the event the two of you can't reach an agreement.

[seeker630]

I agree with unsub. Once you are clear in your own mind what you want from the get-together, communicate that to him and find out what he wants from you in return. I would get this done ASAP so that he can make other plans in the event the two of you can't reach an agreement.

 

+1

[Juan Vancouver]

This won't be a popular response... you have been warned.

 

My first impulse would be to say that you should tell him exactly what you just told us. The pitfall, of course, is that if he was thinking of doing it for free and you mention the possibility of a payment that may skew his choice and vice versa.

 

It is my belief that one should always be comfortable talking about specific details with one's friends. If you cringe at the thought of being direct, then maybe your relationship is not that of friendship. But I am not thinking you are friends because you are commenting on the quality and asiduity of his services.

 

The way I see it, the situation is simple:

 

If you want top quality from a paid companion who will give you exactly what you need in unequivocal and fulfilling ways, pay his full rate and discuss clearly what is it that you would like your interaction to be. You can still feel deep feelings of frienship for him and it can all be a blast.

 

If you want a friend, then don't pay anything and let him now in advance. You can make no demands, you cannot expect services, be it cuddling, sex or even companionship. When I go on a trip with a friend it is perfectly okay if I disappear for two days and come back to share stories. If he can afford the trip or the time and he wants to spend time with you, his friend, he will say yes and you will have a blast. The same that with other friends, if he can't he will say so.

 

If you want to have your needs unfulfilled, feel that you are being used, think that you are being unfair and mean by demanding anything and fear that he or you are being taken for a ride, by all means continue to live in the gray area of "we are friends, really, as long as he fucks me three times this trip and I pay for everything and he is grateful and never does anything else without me during the trip". In the gray area both of you will be taking each other for a ride, but neither will get what they want. I have seen many relationship soured because of that.

 

Of course, many guys will come and say that this kind of arrangement is working marvels for them... until they come back and rant about how they were shamelessly taken for a ride, while the escort complains about exactly the same thing.

 

In the field of paid companionship (and in life) there is no way of having uncertain boundaries and not have constant conflict. Boundaries are there to help you live more effectively, also making your interactions so much easier.

 

I really hope you read this a couple more times and hope this is somewhat helpful to you.

[Diverdan]

I agree with Juan, as usual. He has given you very good advise, as have some of the other posts before hand. In any situation like this, being very clear up front what your boundaries are and then let him tell you what his boundaries might be. Otherwise you are both headed for a disaster. Nothing like a long trip together that was not clear up front what the game plan was to sour an otherwise good relationship, be it friendship, paid companionship or a combination of both. Good luck and let us know what happens.

[gallahadesquire]

Thank you all for your input. He has a 9-5 job; he going to massage school three days a week, 6:3- to 9:30, and all day on Saturday. He want a break from his "day" job. He is perpetually broke.

The housing is pre-paid. I would get a rental car anyway. So it's his airfare, food, and tickets plus any fee.

 

Just F.Y.I.

[Diverdan]

The question still remains... what is it that you want out of this, and what does he want or expect from your largess? Only you can make that decision, and it is yours to make first. Then everything else should fall into place.

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

My first impulse would be to say that you should tell him exactly what you just told us. The pitfall, of course, is that if he was thinking of doing it for free and you mention the possibility of a payment that may skew his choice and vice versa.

 

It is my belief that one should always be comfortable talking about specific details with one's friends. If you cringe at the thought of being direct, then maybe your relationship is not that of friendship. But I am not thinking you are friends because you are commenting on the quality and asiduity of his services.

 

The way I see it, the situation is simple:

 

If you want top quality from a paid companion who will give you exactly what you need in unequivocal and fulfilling ways, pay his full rate and discuss clearly what is it that you would like your interaction to be. You can still feel deep feelings of frienship for him and it can all be a blast.

 

If you want a friend, then don't pay anything and let him now in advance. You can make no demands, you cannot expect services, be it cuddling, sex or even companionship. When I go on a trip with a friend it is perfectly okay if I disappear for two days and come back to share stories. If he can afford the trip or the time and he wants to spend time with you, his friend, he will say yes and you will have a blast. The same that with other friends, if he can't he will say so.

 

If you want to have your needs unfulfilled, feel that you are being used, think that you are being unfair and mean by demanding anything and fear that he or you are being taken for a ride, by all means continue to live in the gray area of "we are friends, really, as long as he fucks me three times this trip and I pay for everything and he is grateful and never does anything else without me during the trip". In the gray area both of you will be taking each other for a ride, but neither will get what they want. I have seen many relationship soured because of that.

 

Of course, many guys will come and say that this kind of arrangement is working marvels for them... until they come back and rant about how they were shamelessly taken for a ride, while the escort complains about exactly the same thing.

 

In the field of paid companionship (and in life) there is no way of having uncertain boundaries and not have constant conflict. Boundaries are there to help you live more effectively, also making your interactions so much easier.

 

I really hope you read this a couple more times and hope this is somewhat helpful to you.

 

You can stop here, since you're never going to write anything on the forum better or more concise than this.

[Juan Vancouver]

You can stop here, since you're never going to write anything on the forum better or more concise than this.

 

Thank you Chris. That is so sweet.

Big hug, stud!

[rocky]

I really liked this "thread" (not sure why it's called that but I'll respect the name); me too traveling with someone

that I've been with for a while and it's not the sex anymore but companionship and we're cruising out of Miami

next week. I always have a bit of a problem calculating (for lack of a better work) what I should offer as

compensation. Flight, food, cruise suite and yes he does have to take time from other clients, although he has

a full time job. I just want to be fair at the same time recognize the cost of the cruise and events going on.

[Guest countryboywny]

Two of the things I tell an escort when it's clear that we have more of a "bond" than the traditional client/escort relationship are these:

 

1. I know I will never be your lover.

2. I will never ask to see you without paying.

 

It clears the air of any misconceptions and makes for a good relationship.