Clients only wanting to talk

[zach_wilson]

So having been an escort for three years I understand the importance to some potential clients to feel a little comfortable with their companion before meeting. However I have had one guy who has negative reviews as a client on men4rent, and has messaged off and on for the three years. All that he basically ask is how everything is going, is there a lot of clients hiring now a days, how did I get treated in high school with everyone knowing I was an escort. Then he will say that he is going to fly me out for an overnight that he thinks I'm great then something always comes up. I find this to kind of be rude because to spend that much of a guys time and say your going to fly them out and then not. However I do not want to say " I can no longer speak with you unless a plane ticket is booked as it has been three years and you still have not seen me" because I feel that is rude as well. Help with how to deal with this situation would be greatly appreciated.

[Guest countryboywny]

Zach,

Having met you in DC, I think you have a genuine concern for your clients and other people you meet. You are a true gentleman and probably hurting someone's feelings is the last thing you want to do. However, this guy, whether intentional or not, is preying on your good nature. I think you realize that because your asking for help with the situation. I'm not an escort, and I don't play one on TV, but common sense tells me that if you don't mind communicating with this guy, fine. If you're getting put off by it, then be direct and explain to him that he's not hired you and that you need the time you're spending on him to build your business with paying clients. Once that is made clear to him, then ignore his subsequent communication attempts. He should get the message. Best, CB

[jimboivyo]

So having been an escort for three years I understand the importance to some potential clients to feel a little comfortable with their companion before meeting. However I have had one guy who has negative reviews as a client on men4rent, and has messaged off and on for the three years. All that he basically ask is how everything is going, is there a lot of clients hiring now a days, how did I get treated in high school with everyone knowing I was an escort. Then he will say that he is going to fly me out for an overnight that he thinks I'm great then something always comes up. I find this to kind of be rude because to spend that much of a guys time and say your going to fly them out and then not. However I do not want to say " I can no longer speak with you unless a plane ticket is booked as it has been three years and you still have not seen me" because I feel that is rude as well. Help with how to deal with this situation would be greatly appreciated.

 

he sounds like a time waster and those are the kind you don't waste your time on

 

if he submits a bad mark for a meeting that never took place you can always black list him as recourse

[zach_wilson]

Countryboy,

Thanks so much for the kind words, I do genuinely have concern. As you pointed out though it is time that I could spend building my business with clients who would like to hire and not just ask questions over and over. Thanks for the advice.

[Steven_Draker]

Then he will say that he is going to fly me out for an overnight that he thinks I'm great then something always comes up. I find this to kind of be rude because to spend that much of a guys time and say your going to fly them out and then not.

 

myth·o·mane [mith-uh-meyn]

noun

a person with a strong or irresistible propensity for fantasizing, lying, or exaggerating.

 

 

It looks like the evil mythomane has found a victim in Zach. Don't give him the attention he's looking for.

[jawjateck]

Zach....You are a considerate young man, but client is not a word that describes him. He's never hired you, by definition, he's not a client. After this long, too long, cut him off.

[leigh.bess.toad]

So having been an escort for three years I understand the importance to some potential clients to feel a little comfortable with their companion before meeting. However I have had one guy who has negative reviews as a client on men4rent, and has messaged off and on for the three years. All that he basically ask is how everything is going, is there a lot of clients hiring now a days, how did I get treated in high school with everyone knowing I was an escort. Then he will say that he is going to fly me out for an overnight that he thinks I'm great then something always comes up. I find this to kind of be rude because to spend that much of a guys time and say your going to fly them out and then not. However I do not want to say " I can no longer speak with you unless a plane ticket is booked as it has been three years and you still have not seen me" because I feel that is rude as well. Help with how to deal with this situation would be greatly appreciated.

 

I just hope that it isn't the crazy loon from Arkansas so many of the guys have talked about before. I know there are others out there like this, but if it is, cut him off.

[+ purplekow]

However I do not want to say " I can no longer speak with you unless a plane ticket is booked as it has been three years and you still have not seen me" because I feel that is rude as well.

You should not open yourself up to even the possibility of seeing this man. Simply say: I can no longer speak to you. No further explanation is warranted.

[gallahadesquire]

From my experience:

 

I had met someone online in America Online chat room. I stalked his online presence. After five years, I finally met hijm.We met several times and he retired from the biz.

 

Another well-regarded escort I contacted three times, and each time I flaked out. (I never got past "Are you around?"). He now requires that I send him half of his fee up front as a Western Union mail wire.

It's my own fault.

 

Just an FYI.

[RockHard]

A customer who isn't.

 

Don't give him the attention he's looking for.

 

Precisely.

 

However I do not want to say, " I can no longer speak with you…" because I feel that is rude as well.

 

Young dude, please grow a pair quick. The service business is NOT an exercise in the art of altruism.

[Juan Vancouver]

A customer who isn't. (But who perhaps is a stalker.)

 

I have to agree with many about this subject: He is not a client and you really should not consider spending any time with him. The kind of questions he has asked are a little too close to the kind of questions someone not entirely balanced would ask. I, however, would not recommend you to either ignore him nor cut him off brusquely. If you do either and he is indeed a little bonkers that may set him off.

 

You don't want to have a crazy stalker going on a rampage.

 

What I would do if he wrote to me again is responding with something like this:

 

"Dear _____,

 

After reading your message it is clear to me that you are not wanting to schedule an actual session with me. For (whatever amount of time) I have corresponded with you thinking that you were interested in using my services of companionship. It is evident to me now that you may be interested in something more -something more like an email friend- and sadly I do not provide that service. I would not want your needs to go unfulfilled, so I want to recommend to look for someone else better suited for this purpose.

 

From today on, I will be unable to answer to your emails but I wanted you to know the reason for which I am doing so.

 

I sincerely hope that you will find a fun and exciting email partner who will enjoy your correspondence as much as you enjoy writing it. It has been great being in touch with you and I wish you the best.

 

Sincerely,

 

Zach"

 

It has to be polite, warm, firm and clear.

 

After that, simply do not answer any email. None. No exceptions. If he is indeed crazy he will try to fight you, maybe threaten you a little, but if he gets no response he will move on to another pretty boy. If he is an indecisive client, hopefully he will think it twice about being so indecisive and intrusive with another escort in the future. Either way, there is no reason for you to engage in anything that is not comfortable for you.

 

Being an escort is not being a saint or a martyr. As a matter of fact if you don't find a way to make empowered and intelligent decisions you will put yourself in really uncomfortable situations time and time again. I think you are doing great building a good reputation for yourself, so continue to keep the good ones smiling and keep the crazy ones at bay.

 

Here is to your continued success!

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

I have to agree with many about this subject: He is not a client and you really should not consider spending any time with him. The kind of questions he has asked are a little too close to the kind of questions someone not entirely balanced would ask. I, however, would not recommend you to either ignore him nor cut him off brusquely. If you do either and he is indeed a little bonkers that may set him off.

 

You don't want to have a crazy stalker going on a rampage.

 

What I would do if he wrote to me again is responding with something like this:

 

"Dear _____,

 

After reading your message it is clear to me that you are not wanting to schedule an actual session with me. For (whatever amount of time) I have corresponded with you thinking that you were interested in using my services of companionship. It is evident to me now that you may be interested in something more -something more like an email friend- and sadly I do not provide that service. I would not want your needs to go unfulfilled, so I want to recommend to look for someone else better suited for this purpose.

 

From today on, I will be unable to answer to your emails but I wanted you to know the reason for which I am doing so.

 

I sincerely hope that you will find a fun and exciting email partner who will enjoy your correspondence as much as you enjoy writing it. It has been great being in touch with you and I wish you the best.

 

Sincerely,

 

Zach"

 

It has to be polite, warm, firm and clear.

 

After that, simply do not answer any email. None. No exceptions. If he is indeed crazy he will try to fight you, maybe threaten you a little, but if he gets no response he will move on to another pretty boy. If he is an indecisive client, hopefully he will think it twice about being so indecisive and intrusive with another escort in the future. Either way, there is no reason for you to engage in anything that is not comfortable for you.

 

Being an escort is not being a saint or a martyr. As a matter of fact if you don't find a way to make empowered and intelligent decisions you will put yourself in really uncomfortable situations time and time again. I think you are doing great building a good reputation for yourself, so continue to keep the good ones smiling and keep the crazy ones at bay.

 

Here is to your continued success!

 

One thing he may do is try to convince you that he's ready, or "almost ready" to hire you and needs you to tip him in the right direction. You'll have to decide whether or not this represents an attempt to become a legit client. I recently had someone who sent me 3-4 very unusual emails over the space of about two months, which I told LDave about over dinner. I had answered the first one, but after I kept getting nowhere with this client I gave up and stopped responding. Dave suggested cutting him some slack and meeting up, and the client finally sent me a fairly straightforward email that said: "Let's meet at ____." I called him, he sounded surprisingly normal, and we finally met that night. I realized later, with him asleep on my chest in his bed that he was one of the sweeter guys I've met in a long time.

 

Not everyone turns out like this. Don't piss your guy off. You may have to wean him off you by taking longer and longer to return emails, and with shorter and shorter answers. Then finally stop responding at all.

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

One thing he may do is try to convince you that he's ready, or "almost ready" to hire you and needs you to tip him in the right direction. You'll have to decide whether or not this represents an attempt to become a legit client. I recently had someone who sent me 3-4 very unusual emails over the space of about two months, which I told LDave about over dinner. I had answered the first one, but after I kept getting nowhere with this client I gave up and stopped responding. Dave suggested cutting him some slack and meeting up, and the client finally sent me a fairly straightforward email that said: "Let's meet at ____." I called him, he sounded surprisingly normal, and we finally met that night. I realized later, with him asleep on my chest in his bed that he was one of the sweeter guys I've met in a long time.

 

Not everyone turns out like this. Don't piss your guy off. You may have to wean him off you by taking longer and longer to return emails, and with shorter and shorter answers. Then finally stop responding at all.

 

There's been some confusion about my previous post. I am not suggesting that Zach or any other escort manipulate a client to develop an attachment or get repeat business, and then conveniently "wean" them off if they get too close or become annoying. Pretty much everyone agrees that this is not a client. My advice is that Zach slowly stop responding over a period of time, and hopefully the guy will gradually get bored or find something else to focus on.

[JoeyBryant]

However I do not want to say " I can no longer speak with you unless a plane ticket is booked as it has been three years and you still have not seen me" because I feel that is rude as well. Help with how to deal with this situation would be greatly appreciated.

 

Saying that may actually be the one thing to make him realize you're serious and actually book!

[btmstudnyc]

I just hope that it isn't the crazy loon from Arkansas so many of the guys have talked about before. I know there are others out there like this, but if it is, cut him off.

 

OMG, I thought I was the only one who got his calls....He always has a different story...whether he be the WAL-MART heir, a famous actor...blah blah blah...and if he tells me he knows Susan Lucci and Kim Bassinger one more time.

 

I just got a call from another guy in Virginia....he called me three seperate times in the past three days and has a different city he is calling from....dude besides recognizing the phone number you didn't block...I do recognize voices. We ain't that dumb.

[Xander]

Yep. A friend of mine was on the phone with crazy arkansas guy for over an hour once and got him to start crying. He admitted that he was crazy, too.

[gallahadesquire]

Yep. A friend of mine was on the phone with crazy arkansas guy for over an hour once and got him to start crying. He admitted that he was crazy, too.

 

I missed the antecedent. "He admitted that he was crazy, too." To whom does the "He" refer? Thanks. it's not you, it's me: I lose antecedents all the time.

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

OMG, I thought I was the only one who got his calls....He always has a different story...whether he be the WAL-MART heir, a famous actor...blah blah blah...and if he tells me he knows Susan Lucci and Kim Bassinger one more time.

 

I just got a call from another guy in Virginia....he called me three seperate times in the past three days and has a different city he is calling from....dude besides recognizing the phone number you didn't block...I do recognize voices. We ain't that dumb.

 

I was fortunate and kept it to a text-only conversation.

[Xander]

I missed the antecedent. "He admitted that he was crazy, too." To whom does the "He" refer? Thanks. it's not you, it's me: I lose antecedents all the time.

 

Crazy Arkansas guy

[+ VictorPowers]

I just hope that it isn't the crazy loon from Arkansas so many of the guys have talked about before. I know there are others out there like this, but if it is, cut him off.

 

I think I had a phone call with said "loon". I searched the forum with Arkansas and found your response. I just ended a 15 minute phone conversation and think it was him. He said he'd like an ON in LA and I confirmed I could text him upon arrival. (I'm visiting LA the same dates anyway 9/24-26) I promptly saved his number and the response was in slid number. Can you PM me said "Loons" number so I can verify?

[BluDay]

My advice is that Zach slowly stop responding over a period of time,

Chris has a good idea (I think), since it will be easier on you than writing a "stop contacting me" message.

 

I'm a client, not an escort. In this world, and the webcam world there are a lot of men who want to just chat with hot guys - there is an excitement in this, and it should like this guy is using you for it. And he's not having to put out any money. The first warning you have is the negative client review. Just like reviews of escorts, if whoever reviewed this client is reputable, take it seriously.

 

You know your business is your time, and it's one thing if a regular client contacts you every so often, or a new client working to set something up. But after three years, if this guy hasn't actually put "cash on the barrel head", there isn't much of chance he ever will. He'll get his jollies getting a message back from you.

 

A couple of my regular escorts message me every so often, and I love it. I always find it exciting, even if it's just chitchat. There is a thrill for some of us when we get the attention of an attractive man.

 

You are proving this guy with a service: attention from you. Just because you're not in the room, doesn't mean it's not worth anything.

 

And to twist a phrase, how much milk are you giving away for free?