Looking 4 Reviewer rayrayxxx3, Need help re: an Escort in L.A.

[bigvalboy]

Perhaps in due time, if it will make sense, I will reveal more.

 

Perhaps in due time it will make sense, until then, as Jaker says, "the plot thickens".....

[citylaw1]

Thank you for all the advice. Yes, I now admit I made some crucial mistakes specifically in giving my home address and other pertinent personal information. I am also hesitant to be specific about the escort to avoid any possible retaliation at this point, but make no mistake about it-- if pushed, I will fight back vigorously as I certainly do not deserve this! AT this point, I will not disclose anyting more specific until I feel safe. I don't know if that makes sense, as I am still very confused and rather wary....

 

My bf and I do still live together, but he had moved out of the master bedroom a few months ago, right about the time I joined the forum, which is also when I started thinking of hiring. I did break up with him but he has not officially broken up with me. He wants to make it work, as a lot of the issues we have been undergoing as a couple had a lot to do with the emotional issues he is having, and he felt that once he is able to conquer them through whatever avenues (couseling, etc), that the 12+ years should not be thrown away that easily. I was not as hopeful or excited about the prospect of regaining our "love" for each other, but if this texting incident did ONE thing, it is to remind me that I am actually pretty lucky to have a man like my bf that stands by me, worships me and will go to great lengths to make our relationship work. He has a good heart, is a really good guy, but not without his baggage.

 

As for the escort, I now realize that we got too involved in each other too deep, too soon without really "knowing" each other first. A big part of that was I felt very lonely, what with my relationship seemingly "dead" to me. Upon reading the text exchanges, though I only responded twice during his barrage of text messages, I did indicate in a previous text to the escort the day before that I did not think he was happy with our arrangement, and that perhaps we should move on. I said this because of the increasingly erratic behavior he had exhibited during the days/weeks before, the temper that would crop up, etc. So when he started his texting tirade the ff day, he asked if I "sent the fucking money", and also stated he was "sick of me and my fucking bad jokes and games"!!! The chronology of text msgs now makes what happened make a little bit more sense, but not the inexcusable barrage of insults, foul mouthed as can be!

 

It's only 10:20 am here, still early and this is the day we were supposed to hook up, so I am just keeping my eyes and ears open, and hoping for the best.

 

With regards to the speculation about who this escort is, if I feel I should make that revelation, I am not even sure I am allowed to mention his name on this forum. This and the retaliation bit is the reason I am being sketchy with the details on him and rayrayxxx3 at this point. This forum has helped me tremendously these last 2 days in dealing with this. Obviously, my intention is not to smear the escort, but to get advice and protect myself, which is mainly why I posted this here. I really only wish the best for the escort, that he is able to conquer what I now believe to be a mental imbalance, temper issues and maybe alcohol-related issues??? Perhaps in due time, if it will make sense, I will reveal more.

 

Why not look at the reviews on here, pick a well reviewed guy, book a room at the motel 6, lock up your shit, get fucked silly, only chat about his cock, pay, get in your car and go back home? Much simpler approach and rarely involves the cops.

[BaronArtz]

As the plot thickens, it would be a real shame to let it 'rest'.

 

Here is what Aldo wrote above:

 

"I have some personal info from the escort himself about rayrayxxx3, which leads me to believe he (ray) may have an idea as to whether the escort will really carry on his threats."

 

This inevitably leads to the following thoughts: if Aldo hired an unknown escort with no reviews, how would the name 'rayrayxx3' come up? You simply cannot make up a name like that. The only way that it makes sense is if either Aldo or the escort brought it up in the conversation (no mention is made of any 3rd parties involved in the 'act'). The name 'rayrayxxx3' is not fictitious, he is a real person who posted two reviews here, one in LA and one in Miami. The crime scene took place in L.A. I think the circumstantial evidence is overwhelming that the escort in question is 'DAX', who is the only escort in LA who is reviewed by said 'rayrayxxx3'. Since this was a bad review, it would make sense that DAX may have threathened 'rayrayxxx3' in the past. Hence Aldo's desire to be in touch with him to find out whether threats are indeed carried out - or not.

[jimboivyo]

Thank you for all the advice. Yes, I now admit I made some crucial mistakes specifically in giving my home address and other pertinent personal information. I am also hesitant to be specific about the escort to avoid any possible retaliation at this point, but make no mistake about it-- if pushed, I will fight back vigorously as I certainly do not deserve this! AT this point, I will not disclose anyting more specific until I feel safe. I don't know if that makes sense, as I am still very confused and rather wary....

 

My bf and I do still live together, but he had moved out of the master bedroom a few months ago, right about the time I joined the forum, which is also when I started thinking of hiring. I did break up with him but he has not officially broken up with me. He wants to make it work, as a lot of the issues we have been undergoing as a couple had a lot to do with the emotional issues he is having, and he felt that once he is able to conquer them through whatever avenues (couseling, etc), that the 12+ years should not be thrown away that easily. I was not as hopeful or excited about the prospect of regaining our "love" for each other, but if this texting incident did ONE thing, it is to remind me that I am actually pretty lucky to have a man like my bf that stands by me, worships me and will go to great lengths to make our relationship work. He has a good heart, is a really good guy, but not without his baggage.

 

As for the escort, I now realize that we got too involved in each other too deep, too soon without really "knowing" each other first. A big part of that was I felt very lonely, what with my relationship seemingly "dead" to me. Upon reading the text exchanges, though I only responded twice during his barrage of text messages, I did indicate in a previous text to the escort the day before that I did not think he was happy with our arrangement, and that perhaps we should move on. I said this because of the increasingly erratic behavior he had exhibited during the days/weeks before, the temper that would crop up, etc. So when he started his texting tirade the ff day, he asked if I "sent the fucking money", and also stated he was "sick of me and my fucking bad jokes and games"!!! The chronology of text msgs now makes what happened make a little bit more sense, but not the inexcusable barrage of insults, foul mouthed as can be!

 

It's only 10:20 am here, still early and this is the day we were supposed to hook up, so I am just keeping my eyes and ears open, and hoping for the best.

 

With regards to the speculation about who this escort is, if I feel I should make that revelation, I am not even sure I am allowed to mention his name on this forum. This and the retaliation bit is the reason I am being sketchy with the details on him and rayrayxxx3 at this point. This forum has helped me tremendously these last 2 days in dealing with this. Obviously, my intention is not to smear the escort, but to get advice and protect myself, which is mainly why I posted this here. I really only wish the best for the escort, that he is able to conquer what I now believe to be a mental imbalance, temper issues and maybe alcohol-related issues??? Perhaps in due time, if it will make sense, I will reveal more.

 

sorry this happened. it sounds as if its been a real pain in the rear

 

smear the escort? sir, he tried to blackmail you. why not save others from what you've been through rather than justify his bad behavior.

 

in the future if you're going to hire, use the reviews for what they were intended. find a widely reviewed gentleman and put your trust in a real pro

[Aldo]

smear the escort? sir, he tried to blackmail you. why not save others from what you've been through rather than justify his bad behavior.

 

Hi jimboivyo. Yes, he was actually blackmailing me. For some stupid reason, I did not even think of that association as the venom unleashed on the text msgs totally caught me of guard. I kept on thinking of all the nasty words and threats after I refused to send $, such as "Then it's time to meet Darren." (my bf, not real name). "Darren........ here I come!!!!" "Game on." "I will tell him everything." "Now you're sending me 500 via Western Union." "Or I will come to your fucking house and tell Darren everything." The $500 figure was also a shock as that was not what he initially asked for! He totally went ballistic on me so quickly, like he just completely snapped. The verbal assaults just kept on getting worse and worse. I just could not get over the anger in those messages, and to think I thought I knew him. I really feel dumb!

 

Someone else mentioned "extortion"-- and it was! I will seriously consider revealing the escort's name just because, as you so eloquently put it, "why not save others from what you've been through?" And perhaps more details when I am good and ready and have thought of all the consequences and repercussions of doing so. Now, I'm just going to try to calm down and get over this feeling of utter shock, disappointment and little bit of fear for these next few days.....

[bigvalboy]

I will seriously consider revealing the escort's name just because, as you so eloquently put it, "why not save others from what you've been through?"

Uh...Reveal his name how? You might want to think this one through very carefully. That is a very dangerous road to go down in a public forum....Throwing accusations around like that. Just my opinion.

[Aldo]

Hi, bigvalboy. I understand what you're saying. This is why I also did say I will have to really think this through- all the possible repercussions and consequences. Still, I understand that some ppl would like to know to be forewarned, as I've gotten a few msgs. I'm sitting on this now and if there are no further disturbances, I will let it go. That's what I think. However, should there be further harrassment, I will take whatever steps I could to fight back, whatever I deem most effective and appropriate. A review down the line is more up my alley anyway, not a another brouhaha on a public forum. And like I mentioned previously, I am very thankful to all the insights and comments about this, as I am able to read and digest each and every word, statement and comment to make the best possible decisions on how to get through this.

[bigvalboy]

A review down the line is more up my alley anyway, not a another brouhaha on a public forum.

 

A review is one thing, but even there, I would choose your words very carefully. This thread is already public knowledge, and you do not want to come across vindictive. Any negative review, the escort will have a right to respond. That alone could prove problematic for you. I understand your desire for much of this to go away. If that is really your motivation, then think carefully the best way to make that happen.

 

All I am saying is "Look before you leap"

[Aldo]

I do believe in reviews, as they are such a good gauge and helps ppl in their decision-making. Granted, some reviews may not be entirely true, but I believe in them for the most part. They exist for a very good reason. If I ever do one for this escort, it will be entirely based on my actual, factual experience to serve as a guide to future clients. I will not be scared off and put up being treated like I was when I did nothing wrong to this guy, and if I feel that a review is in order, I will write one.

 

But as I keep on reiterating, I have NOT decided on anything at all because my priority is the peace of mind and safety of myself, my bf and our household. Can't think of anything more important than that for me. And to protect myself, all the harrassing text messages have been saved and archived safely , just in case anyone doubts that what I am saying is true and for evidence to the police if anything bad happens.

[Lookin]

. . . if this texting incident did ONE thing, it is to remind me that I am actually pretty lucky to have a man like my bf that stands by me, worships me and will go to great lengths to make our relationship work. He has a good heart, is a really good guy, but not without his baggage.

 

And here may be the silver lining. Friends like this do not come along every day. I hope this experience will help bring you even closer in the years ahead.

[Aldo]

And here may be the silver lining. Friends like this do not come along every day. I hope this experience will help bring you even closer in the years ahead.

 

Hi Lookin. True, the realization is a very good thing for us. I just don't feel the same way about my bf as I did before. I'm trying to find the love that was lost along the way ..............

[maxwellissmart]

...just in case anyone doubts that what I am saying is true and for evidence to the police if anything bad happens.

 

Umm, something bad already did happen. You should have this guy arrested.

[Aldo]

Hi maxwellissmart. Yeah, I should have written, "if anything else bad should happen", as that's what I meant. Good news is today was uneventful and peaceful.

 

However, I am a pretty compassionate person, which has served me well in my profession, but in terms of personal relations, it can be a double-edged sword. I'm saying this because after the uneventful day, my heart started to ache and feel for the escort. I know his back story and what he had to endure these past months, and now feel compassion for him. I am not justifying his actions, and still feel they were abusive, but I have an understanding of how it came about (as irrational as it was) due to his trials these past months. It is taking all of my willpower not to reach out to him (even just via email) just to tell him that I understand and forgive him.

 

NO NEED for anyone to BERATE me and tell me that WOULD BE STUPID!!!! I know, but I have always had a heart that feels compassion..... for any and all creatures. After all is said and done, I always end up feeling some kind of compassion for the most part. My bf tells me how that kept us together through the years of specially the first 3 years of difficulties we had to endure as a couple. Again, I realize that could be a double-edged sword, but it is my nature.... I will now tie my hands behind my back so I can not email him! LOL!

[rvwnsd]

Hi maxwellissmart. Yeah, I should have written, "if anything else bad should happen", as that's what I meant. Good news is today was uneventful and peaceful.

 

However, I am a pretty compassionate person, which has served me well in my profession, but in terms of personal relations, it can be a double-edged sword. I'm saying this because after the uneventful day, my heart started to ache and feel for the escort. I know his back story and what he had to endure these past months, and now feel compassion for him. I am not justifying his actions, and still feel they were abusive, but I have an understanding of how it came about (as irrational as it was) due to his trials these past months. It is taking all of my willpower not to reach out to him (even just via email) just to tell him that I understand and forgive him.

 

NO NEED for anyone to BERATE me and tell me that WOULD BE STUPID!!!! I know, but I have always had a heart that feels compassion..... for any and all creatures. After all is said and done, I always end up feeling some kind of compassion for the most part. My bf tells me how that kept us together through the years of specially the first 3 years of difficulties we had to endure as a couple. Again, I realize that could be a double-edged sword, but it is my nature.... I will now tie my hands behind my back so I can not email him! LOL!

 

Despite the fact today was uneventful, at least as of 9:14 PM PT [the time of your last post], tomorrow is another story. So is the next day and the following day and every other day that you will wonder when the next shoe will drop. Go to the police and have this guy arrested. And for God's sake, don't communicate with this guy. Doing so could put you in danger.

[Aldo]

Hi rvwnsd. You're absolutely right. Though I thought the 24 hour mark was the most crucial period, and it was uneventful, I should by no means take the situation for granted. Stuff can still happen. I'm certainly heeding your advice, and have to keep on repeating some of what you said in my head, and go against my nature of feeling some compassion for this person. When I am feeling soft-hearted, I have taken to reading some of the text messages just to remind myself of how hideous and abusive they were. Thanks so much for your advice. And thanks to all who contributed as you all have helped me in dealing with this.

[instudiocity]

Hi maxwellissmart. Yeah, I should have written, "if anything else bad should happen", as that's what I meant. Good news is today was uneventful and peaceful.

You are presupposing that the next bad thing won't be SO BAD and will leave you aware, in control of yourself and with the capacity to react.

 

However, I am a pretty compassionate person, which has served me well in my profession, but in terms of personal relations, it can be a double-edged sword. I'm saying this because after the uneventful day, my heart started to ache and feel for the escort. I know his back story and what he had to endure these past months, and now feel compassion for him. I am not justifying his actions, and still feel they were abusive, but I have an understanding of how it came about (as irrational as it was) due to his trials these past months. It is taking all of my willpower not to reach out to him (even just via email) just to tell him that I understand and forgive him.

So where is your compassion for the guy with whom you've shared 12 years? Doesn't he have any say in this matter? After all, you have received these stressful texts from a man who has been inside your home and threatened to make contact with your boyfriend. What if he does more than just out you to your boyfriend. What if someone gets hurt?

 

NO NEED for anyone to BERATE me and tell me that WOULD BE STUPID!!!!

I'm not so sure there's no need, but I am certain there's no convincing you of your foolishness.

 

Despite the fact today was uneventful, at least as of 9:14 PM PT [the time of your last post], tomorrow is another story. So is the next day and the following day and every other day that you will wonder when the next shoe will drop. Go to the police and have this guy arrested. And for God's sake, don't communicate with this guy. Doing so could put you in danger.

Even if you don't have him arrested, the police could take a report and interview him. Sometimes that's all you need to back a person down. He thinks he can blackmail you with your secrets. The police could at least get his attention.

 

Hi rvwnsd. You're absolutely right. Though I thought the 24 hour mark was the most crucial period, and it was uneventful, I should by no means take the situation for granted. Stuff can still happen. I'm certainly heeding your advice, and have to keep on repeating some of what you said in my head, and go against my nature of feeling some compassion for this person. When I am feeling soft-hearted, I have taken to reading some of the text messages just to remind myself of how hideous and abusive they were. Thanks so much for your advice. And thanks to all who contributed as you all have helped me in dealing with this.

I'm not sure your thinking is correct. I've never heard of a magic 24 hour cooling off period. More than one person has told you to protect yourself by filing a police report. Yet, you persist in protecting your aggressor due to your soft-heartedness and compassion (and addled brain, IMHO). What will it take for you to start thinking instead of feeling? Where is your self-preservation, your protection of your housemate and your home?

 

I think you are either a drama queen or you are crazy. If someone did this and you haven't taken any steps to protect yourself, I can only assume you're enjoying the attention.

 

If I were in your situation the POLICE would know everything. This board would know to "beware of Mr. Escort."

[Aldo]

You are presupposing that the next bad thing won't be SO BAD and will leave you aware, in control of yourself and with the capacity to react.

 

So where is your compassion for the guy with whom you've shared 12 years? Doesn't he have any say in this matter? After all, you have received these stressful texts from a man who has been inside your home and threatened to make contact with your boyfriend. What if he does more than just out you to your boyfriend. What if someone gets hurt?

 

I'm not so sure there's no need, but I am certain there's no convincing you of your foolishness.

 

Even if you don't have him arrested, the police could take a report and interview him. Sometimes that's all you need to back a person down. He thinks he can blackmail you with your secrets. The police could at least get his attention.

 

I'm not sure your thinking is correct. I've never heard of a magic 24 hour cooling off period. More than one person has told you to protect yourself by filing a police report. Yet, you persist in protecting your aggressor due to your soft-heartedness and compassion (and addled brain, IMHO). What will it take for you to start thinking instead of feeling? Where is your self-preservation, your protection of your housemate and your home?

 

I think you are either a drama queen or you are crazy. If someone did this and you haven't taken any steps to protect yourself, I can only assume you're enjoying the attention.

 

If I were in your situation the POLICE would know everything. This board would know to "beware of Mr. Escort."

 

I respect your opinion but feel your questioning my compassion for my partner is pretty judgmental. You don't know that my partner has not done anything to hurt me as well. Things just don't happen. You sound like you're saying I have NO compassion for him whatsoever, without knowing our history. Having said that, yes, what I have done was irresponsible. Perhaps due to my naivete, and stories from other friends that have hired escorts and had them in their homes, it never even occured to me that something like this would happen when it was my turn to hire, on one of my very first hires.

 

Calling me a drama queen or crazy person is also very judgmental of you. You do not know what I have discussed with my partner on how to protect our home either. Just because we have not gone to the police, does not mean we have not taken any precautions at all, such as informing our building security and several other options we have made available to us with our home security company. The reason I am on this forum posting this is to get good advice and be able to make a good decision for me and my partner together. We have discussed some of the comments on here and made decisions on what actions to take on our own that we feel will serve us best.

 

Lastly, though the actions of the escort was completely in the wrong, I will always take the human factor into consideration, as I know stuff about him that are very personal. I will not disclose them but they have a hand in my decision right now.

[citylaw1]

"It is taking all of my willpower not to reach out to him (even just via email) just to tell him that I understand and forgive him."

 

That BF of yours should run for the hills.

[citylaw1]

Hi rvwnsd. You're absolutely right. Though I thought the 24 hour mark was the most crucial period, and it was uneventful, I should by no means take the situation for granted. Stuff can still happen. I'm certainly heeding your advice, and have to keep on repeating some of what you said in my head, and go against my nature of feeling some compassion for this person. When I am feeling soft-hearted, I have taken to reading some of the text messages just to remind myself of how hideous and abusive they were. Thanks so much for your advice. And thanks to all who contributed as you all have helped me in dealing with this.

 

Why not have a little compassion for your live in BF and protect the home he lives in with you? The time spent on here, as well as the hours wasted lamenting over text messages from a fellow lunatic, should be used to help your BF pack for another home.

[maxwellissmart]

I think you are either a drama queen or you are crazy. If someone did this and you haven't taken any steps to protect yourself, I can only assume you're enjoying the attention.

 

By the way, whatever happened to our good friend Dolphin? Oh, wait...

[citylaw1]

By the way, whatever happened to our good friend Dolphin? Oh, wait...

 

Hmmm...

[JT Brooklyn]

Uh...Reveal his name how? You might want to think this one through very carefully. That is a very dangerous road to go down in a public forum....Throwing accusations around like that. Just my opinion.

 

Not IF they can be proved!

[seeker630]

Not IF they can be proved!

 

I think it unlikely that it could be proved on this site. Someone would need to see his cell phone, at a minimum, IMO.

[instudiocity]

Lastly, though the actions of the escort was completely in the wrong, I will always take the human factor into consideration, as I know stuff about him that are very personal. I will not disclose them but they have a hand in my decision right now.

Yep, you are soooo wise that you shared intimate information and your home with someone who within a few weeks or months of meeting is now threatening you, your life, your more intimate friend and your possessions. You're just assuming that what you've heard in the past from this guy is the truth - but then why didn't you understand the truth that he's unbalanced enough to make those threats? Rationalizing away his threats over the weekend based on your knowledge of 'stuff about him' from before is still rationalization - and if that were true, why are you trashing him on an anonymous forum. WE all know how to do web searches and just about everyone who's read this thread knows it's the LA based escort reviewed by rayrayXXX3. Give us a break - we're not stupid.

[instudiocity]

"It is taking all of my willpower not to reach out to him (even just via email) just to tell him that I understand and forgive him." That BF of yours should run for the hills.

Sorta explains part of the interpersonal dynamics about that move down the hall to the other bedroom, doesn't it?