What do you do when a regular client fails to pay? Is it better to collect up front?

[Ryanquinn]

I had a regular client (Let's call him Client J) who I saw about twice a month for overnight appointments. We have seen each other off and on for about 2.5 years.

I often don't collect money up front from my trusted regulars...just a simple matter of trust and respect and an expectation of good faith.

 

Client J called me late on New Years Eve and said that he needed to see me that night. Although I had other plans on NYE, I cancelled them to spend time with client J at his hotel. He requested

that I bring a friend which was no problem...so i did. We had an exciting night which he seemed to thoroughly enjoy.

 

In the morning when we woke up he let me know that he had been too drunk the previous night to stop at the ATM and that he would be contacting me with payment details later on in the day.

I never heard from him, and when I attempted to contact him, the calls all went to voicemail...after a week of trying to contact him, I gave up and wrote it off as one of the unexplainable mysteries of the universe.

 

Recently, I checked an old email account and realized that since then he's been trying to contact me to make things right between us (I had a new phone # by now). I replied to the emails and received a subsequent phone call

from Client J who was full of questions about what I'm up to these days. I didn't feel comfortable answering his personal questions seeing as how there was the large elephant in the room to deal with (namely a 10-month old debt).

 

We made plans to see eachother this Sunday where all was promised to be rectified. However, the day before this reunion I texted him to confirm our appointment and received this text message: "No. can't come up with enough

cash for tomorrow. You might forget that I owe you a little extra?? Thought I had it but I don't. Sorry. I know you'll be pissed off."

 

I'm not sure how to feel. Can somebody maybe offer me a way to handle the situation and at least collect for services that have already been rendered nearly a year ago? Should I just give it up? More than the financial burden of

having a client not pay, I feel personally taken advantage of and a part of me feels like he is beginning a game of cat and mouse that causes me to chase him hoping to one day be paid...has anyone else experienced this...and does

this make it a good idea to always collect up front? I wouldn't want to become jaded or hold my other clients who are in good standing responsible for this little buttmunchers actions...please advice would help. I'd love to hear from

escorts and clients on this one.

[+ Travis69]

He should do the right thing and pay you but what's more benficial to you in the long run. How much money is he trying not to pay you? If he becomes a regular again will the overall gain be worth forgetting the other amount?

[Ryanquinn]

Thanks Travis, the amount is about $1000. I'm pretty hurt by the situation. I'm not sure if I'd want him as a regular client again. I take respect very seriously with my clients.

I show them the utmost respect and expect at least of modicum of respect for myself.

[+ Travis69]

Thanks Travis, the amount is about $1000. I'm pretty hurt by the situation. I'm not sure if I'd want him as a regular client again. I take respect very seriously with my clients.

I show them the utmost respect and expect at least of modicum of respect for myself.

 

Totally understand. I have quit some jobs because of principle and stayed at others when I was getting screwed because I thought the end result would be worth it. A very personal decision each individual must make. Sounds like you have the upper hand as he wants to come back to you. Perhaps discuss with him increasing every session by $50.00 or $100.00 so it's easier for him to pay you back and you feel like you are getting the money and respect. After you get all your money you can then tell him to go to hell.

[+ azdr0710]

might have to write this one off....he knows he owes you and he doesn't seem to be in the mood to make it right, at least right now....if it helps, average out all the other times he did pay you with the one time he didn't and it may not "hurt" so much!!....if he does want to meet again (he calling you to do it), be pleasant and just say you want to get the previous bill taken care of first before another meet occurs....if you're nearby, suggest a Starbuck's-like place where the transaction can happen....don't let him say he'll pay you only at the next private meeting....never get angry with him....

[wayout]

He owes you based on services rendered. Let him make a proposal on how he will settle it in a way that would be acceptable to you. The burden is on him. After almost a year, if you get something/anything then you are ahead of the game at this point. I wouldn't suggest you provide additional services until something has been arranged to your satisfaction.

[Bosguy]

You have been far too nice already. Out of respect, even if he had come upon hard times, he could have let you know and paid something over the 1 year timeframe. My opinion, count it as a loss and don't communicate with him again. He's the type who gives clients a bad reputation.

Good luck with future hiring guys.

 

Boston Bill

[+ deej]

I'd just walk away. Stop all contact. But that's just me. He's had ample time to adequately explain his behavior and failed miserably.

 

However, I suggest you get in touch with Daddy privately just in case this client decides to take his games into the reviews. I'm not saying that he will, but it's a pattern that does happen from time to time. You may save yourself a flurry of emails later if Daddy is in on the game from the start.

[+ sf westcoaster]

Far too much time has passed. Write it off as a bad debt and write off the client. It is time for you to put this behind you - move on.

[nate_sf]

Hey there,

 

Good news, at least from my perspective, is that you should not allow this experience to make you jaded or hold your other clients who are in good standing responsible. In my more than a decade escorting off and on, this kind of thing has only happened to me once. And the one time it happened, the client was able to make things right though Paypal the next day. Unless this is happening to you frequently, I would not change how you handle things with other clients.

 

You mention that you checked an old email account and realized that since then he'd been trying to contact you to make things right between you. In your opinion did those attempts seem sincere - i.e., with suggestions of how to remedy the situation? From the client's perspective, if he thought he was emailing you at the correct address and did not hear back and may have thought you were angry or wrote the whole thing off. Now 10 months later he's spent the money he may have had set aside. That would be giving him the benefit of the doubt. On the other hand, if he was using an email address he knew was obsolete, he could be playing games.

 

As others have suggested, if you still wanted to see him you could suggest a repayment in installments or ask him how he would want to repay you. It might be best not to meet with him for a new appointment until at least a portion of the repayment is made. Since he was a regular you judge whether he would be good for the full repayment or if it's not going to happen.

 

It can be hard to recover from something like this, though, once trust has been broken. I once had a regular who I'd enjoyed seeing often, but in our last appointment we discussed politics and it went badly. The relationship had been soured and I think we both knew it could not be returned to a place where we could have intimacy and fun with each other. So if this experience has soured you with this guy and you in your heart you would not want to see him again even if he did make things right, it would be best to move on.

[Decatur Guy]

The part I don't understand is why you set that second, more recent appointment with him if he still owed the $1,000. I wouldn't have set anything up with him until that transaction was taken care of. I tend to think you're out $1,000.

[EZEtoGRU]

The part I don't understand is why you set that second, more recent appointment with him if he still owed the $1,000. I wouldn't have set anything up with him until that transaction was taken care of. I tend to think you're out $1,000.

 

I agree with DecaturGuy. I would avoid any casual or "small-talk" contact with him until he resolves the outstanding payment with you. You certainly should not be arranging another business appointment with him until things are settled.

 

I don't think you should initiate contact with him at this point. If he contacts you.....get right to the point and indicate you wish to have the outstanding debt settled before anything else. I liked someone else's suggestion of doing that at a neutral location.....such as Starbucks.

[robberbaron4u]

"Escorting" is a business, a vocation, not an avocation. Unfortunately, providing sexual intimacy for money is illegal in most US juridictions, and, thereby, the provider has no "legal" recourse to address the injury in having been "stiffed" by a client. Write the loss off on your ledger marked "Experience".

[RockHard]

Anton makes an interesting point. If the math is correct, and my business did earn $60,000 from one client in 2.5 years, that client can count on a lovely Christmas present from me and my associates.

 

Robberbaron4u also makes an interesting point. Every service business has to endure loss at some point. Not every customer is on the up-and-up. When my business has an issue with non-payment, we turn the issue over to the lawyers. You don't have that costly luxury (and nor do we for a $1000 loss).

 

High quality female escorts get paid up front. It's been the rule for ions. Why should high quality gay males treat their businesses with less respect? Maybe it's time for a shift in perception. Simply find a way to let it be known that for your excellent service, you require payment up front. I'm sure if you gave it some thought, you could find a way to protect yourself moving forward.

 

And never forget to show gratitude on occasion to regular clients who book often and pay their bills. That's good business.

[down_to_business]

Anton makes an interesting point. If the math is correct, and my business did earn $60,000 from one client in 2.5 years, that client can count on a lovely Christmas present from me and my associates.

 

Robberbaron4u also makes an interesting point. Every service business has to endure loss at some point. Not every customer is on the up-and-up. When my business has an issue with non-payment, we turn the issue over to the lawyers. You don't have that costly luxury (and nor do we for a $1000 loss).

 

High quality female escorts get paid up front. It's been the rule for ions. Why should high quality gay males treat their businesses with less respect? Maybe it's time for a shift in perception. Simply find a way to let it be known that for your excellent service, you require payment up front. I'm sure if you gave it some thought, you could find a way to protect yourself moving forward.

 

And never forget to show gratitude on occasion to regular clients who book often and pay their bills. That's good business.

 

Before you start endorsing escorts collect up front as a standard practice, I would hope you would consider the result, that a whole lot of 'good' and honest clients will be ripped off. While it doesn't justify a client ever stiffing an escort (just as there is never a justification for running out of a restaurant without paying), there are a whole lot more reported incidents of clients having escorts taking the money and running. The prudent policy would be to collect payment up front after a client has broken your trust (if you decide to grant them a second chance). From what you described, this client who has paid you an awful lot of money, is not operating like someone who intended to rip you off from the start. You changed your email and phone number, yet they were apparently trying to contact you by the only means they had- your old email address. Usually, when someone intentionally rips off someone else, you would never hear from them again.

[RockHard]

there are a whole lot more reported incidents of clients having escorts taking the money and running

 

Says who? Feel free to show me accurate data to support your theory.

 

Before you start endorsing escorts collect up front as a standard practice, I would hope you would consider the result, that a whole lot of 'good' and honest clients will be ripped off.

 

I never said anything about "all" escorts or even mentioned the words, "standard practice." Yes, crooks exist in the industry, but your business lives and dies by its reputation. If you hire from the gutter, unknown, homeless types, then paying upfront will not be a good idea. If you hire guys who maintain a reputation for quality, then I see no reason why they have play by the same rules as the shady.

 

The prudent policy would be to collect payment up front after a client has broken your trust

 

I completely disagree. Prudent for whom?

 

No matter who you are, my business requires 50% of all budget estimates paid before work begins. We don't discriminate. IMO, the only way to instill trust is to get some level of financial commitment up-front. We think of it as a kind of retainer. The hourly rates are much higher in my business, but even so, I have competitors who are hungry to do the same work for less. As far as I'm concerned, they can have the jobs that don't wish to play by my rules. However, the quality of my service is well-known within my industry.

 

My simple point is, if you are a gay male escort who is hell-bent on providing quality, I see no reason why you can't set a pay-up-front policy and be respected for it. A smart, upstanding escort who maintains this policy and fails one time knows he will end his career.

[bigvalboy]

"Escorting" is a business, a vocation, not an avocation. Unfortunately, providing sexual intimacy for money is illegal in most US juridictions, and, thereby, the provider has no "legal" recourse to address the injury in having been "stiffed" by a client. Write the loss off on your ledger marked "Experience".

 

This is an excellent observation robber! I would concur.

[SteveEscort]

I don't care what anyone says, the action was pre-meditated. The guy didn't have the cash, then it wasn't forthcoming. He wanted some company on New Years Eve, got what he wanted and has since had no intentions of paying.

 

If it happened to me I would not see the client again.

 

Earlier this year I had a client ask me to book a hotel for an overnight with him because he didn't want to reserve it with his card incase his wife found out. He cancelled me on the day after 12noon and I still had to pay for the room. I told him this and the money was not forthcoming.

 

A few months later he started texting me saying how sorry he was and could he come over to see me for an appointment. I said yes but the fee would include the hotel cost. He didn't have the hotel money but still expected to see me. I said no and that's the last I heard. Yes I could have gained an extra appointment that day but if he doesn't care about me being landed with a hotel bill after booking it at his request for his own discretion then he isn't worth bothering with.

 

Last month, a new client phoned me and asked me to visit him for overnight in Dumfries, which is in Scotland. I agreed and he agreed to pay me a deposit into my bank to cover my travel costs, the rest payable on arrival. The night before my arrival the monies were still not deposited. He phoned and said his nearest branch of my bank was 30 miles away so he was tied up with work and couldn't put the deposit in, so I asked where he was based but he wasn't forthcoming with that information. He then said he'd phoned the hotel that morning to book a room and they wanted it secured with a credit card. He said he only had joint accounts with his wife and was scared that it would charge his card as he'd told her he was going to be in Manchester on a business trip instead of being at a hotel in southern Scotland. He asked if I would secure the hotel and ring him back and he would pay me £100 on top of my fee to cover the £80 for the hotel and the inconvenience. As the deposit for my train the following day wasn't secured and now he wanted me to secure a hotel I declined the appointment. The next 24 hours were filled with abusive text messages saying I was a timewaster and a dickhead and a cocktease. I am sorry but my website states that on overnights I need a cash deposit or transfer (how more anonymous can a cash deposit be) or I won't travel and now this guy wants me to book hotels too. I could see me being landed with another hotel bill because his little kiddiewinkles had diarrhoea and he couldn't leave them and if he could be abusive by text, what was he going to be like when I was there.

[RockHard]

my website states that on overnights I need a cash deposit or transfer

 

As long as an escort's payment policy is made known to his customers, he is free to adopt any policy that suits his needs and comfort zone. There is no right or wrong. It's much easier to say "no" to a customer when you have a policy to support your business decisions.

 

Now, some clients will behave like selfish assholes no matter what policy you put forth, as Steve points out. Every service business has to deal with selfish assholes at times. If you don't like dealing with (all) people, you should not be in the service business.

 

From my experience, well-reviewed escorts don't rob, steal, or rip-off their customers. There are thousands of reviews to support this, and many more positive reviews spoken in private but never written.

 

Occasionally, we hear about the aberrations, and those stories resonate because most people fear confrontation. And fear plays a role in the risky business of sex, for both sides.

[JoeyBryant]

Client J called me late on New Years Eve and said that he needed to see me that night. Although I had other plans on NYE, I cancelled them to spend time with client J at his hotel.

 

Any client who I've seen for 2.5 years doing overnights with, who happens to call me last minute on New Years Eve or any other major holiday would certainly hear a word or 2 from me. I'd be utterly annoyed to high heavens. I'd be like seriously...? I'm not interested in being your plan Z. If it was from a new client, that would be understandable. Sudden urges.

 

One of the things I've realized over time is that it's simply not worth cancelling plans for a last minute client. I've lost friendships and had others become irate over that. Clients certainly don't cancel their special arrangements for us (besides work-related) so it's not fair to bend over for them. I know at times, having the income can be great...but if they can't be courteous enough to call ahead then I can't be courteous enough to drop everything for them. I've talked about this before. The whole late night weekend calls at the last minute on date night. (ironically I actually look forward to those calls if I have nothing planned that night)

 

And FYI, any client who contacts late at night and being obviously drunk is DEFINITELY giving money upfront even if he paid me in advance every appointment. Late nights+drunk=high levels of alertness.

[MiamiLooker]

Any client who I've seen for 2.5 years doing overnights with, who happens to call me last minute on New Years Eve or any other major holiday would certainly hear a word or 2 from me. I'd be utterly annoyed to high heavens. I'd be like seriously...? I'm not interested in being your plan Z. If it was from a new client, that would be understandable. Sudden urges.

 

So, the client’s holiday dinner and party plans fall through, he calls you to see if you’re available, and you have a hissy fit? Totally uncalled for. Why not just say you can’t make it and leave it at that?

Do you ever know whether you’re a client’s first choice or last choice? Why should it matter to you, anyway? The better job you do, the more likely you’ll be a first choice the next time.