Passing out on a client

[gallahadesquire]

My regular and I just had dinner and watched most of a movie. Admittedly, he just got a real job, and isn't used to being up at 6:30, and we didn't start dinner until 7:15.

 

We had some wine with dinner and some champagne afterwards, whilst we were watching a movie. (I really should insist on play time BEFORE the movie).

 

Now he's out cold - we sleep in separate rooms - and didn't even get to see the rest of the movie [Dr. Strangelove in Blu Ray].

 

Somehow, i'm kind of upset. On the other hand, he agreed to stay until about six tomorrow and we can get some work done on my house.

 

Am I being taken advantage of? [For you grammatical queens, I have no idea how to put that so the "of" doesn't end the sentence.]

 

Advice, please. This is a long term client-escort relationship, even if it is March-November.

[bigvalboy]

My regular and I just had dinner and watched most of a movie. Admittedly, he just got a real job, and isn't used to being up at 6:30, and we didn't start dinner until 7:15.

 

We had some wine with dinner and some champagne afterwards, whilst we were watching a movie. (I really should insist on play time BEFORE the movie).

 

Now he's out cold - we sleep in separate rooms - and didn't even get to see the rest of the movie [Dr. Strangelove in Blu Ray].

 

Somehow, i'm kind of upset. On the other hand, he agreed to stay until about six tomorrow and we can get some work done on my house.

 

Am I being taken advantage of? [For you grammatical queens, I have no idea how to put that so the "of" doesn't end the sentence.]

 

Advice, please. This is a long term client-escort relationship, even if it is March-November.

 

Well Gallahad, it is 10:30 pm where I'm at and I am ready to pass out also. Even though you indicate this as a long term client-escort relationship, I think what you have described is a relationship beyond a definitive hire between a client and an escort. I am thinking what with the wine, champagne, movie, dinner, all apparently at your home, and his sleeping in separate rooms, and also agreeing to stay until 6 the following day to work on your house. Clearly, you guys are beyond a 'normal' hire situation. Sounds to me like he is very comfortable around you, almost like a escort/friendship, and to him it is probably no big deal. Add to that the long evening with the liquor and his other job, it is really no wonder that he got tired and fell asleep.

 

If however this bothers you, I think setting up some guidelines for how you want the evening to unfold would not be inappropriate. In the end it is your money, your time, and your house, so it should be your prerogative how things go. I am guessing by what you have said that he will go along with anything that you lay out. He sounds like a fairly easy going person, especially since he is a regular. Communication is the key here.

 

And on that note, I am going to bed also. Sadly alone on this Friday night. Good luck.

[gallahadesquire]

I'm sorry you're alone, BVB. But thanks for the viewpoint: I think you've hit it on the head.

I let our relationship go from client / escort to god-only-knows-what.

 

I'd probably cohabitate if not marry him if it weren't for the 36 year age difference. But he'd

be pretty wealthy by the time he's 55, and I was crazy enough to leave everything to him.

 

We had decided that, in general, the movie would FOLLOW play time. I think we need to stick to that in the future.

 

Again, my deepest thanks to you for your insight.

[MsGuy]

 

Am I being taken advantage of? [For you grammatical queens, I have no idea how to put that so the "of" doesn't end the sentence.]

 

Advice, please.

 

"Is he taking advantage of me?"

 

You're welcome.

[AdamSmith]

Am I being taken advantage of?

 

Difficult to judge without knowing what you're paying him for that length of time. Since you and he seem so comfortable and natural together, as noted above, would there be any problem with taking a break next day from "house work" for some daytime play time?

 

Sounds like you have a good thing going. Think I would try to keep it.

[jjkrkwood]

It sounds that you are MORE invested in this relationship other than client/escort Gall, as often happens with hires...Many times clients put TOO MUCH emphasis on the relationship they share with the escort and really are looking for something more, which the escort may not be able or willing to provide. Sit back and take a deeper look into whats really going on and why you are upset over your recent encounter. It may reveal that your feeling have crossed a line out of the "causual sex" territory and into something deeper...A discussion with the escort is inorder eaither way if its your intention to continue seeing him. There is no point in shelling out good money and coming away feeling less than Spectacular.... You deserve more.

[AdamSmith]

"Is he taking advantage of me?"

 

Might a non-native speaker (particularly from the Inscrutable Zone ) phrase it:

 

Of advantage am I being taken?

[Keenan]

I'd talk to him in the morning and voice any concerns. Hopefully everything can be worked out.

 

Keenan

 

My regular and I just had dinner and watched most of a movie. Admittedly, he just got a real job, and isn't used to being up at 6:30, and we didn't start dinner until 7:15.

 

We had some wine with dinner and some champagne afterwards, whilst we were watching a movie. (I really should insist on play time BEFORE the movie).

 

Now he's out cold - we sleep in separate rooms - and didn't even get to see the rest of the movie [Dr. Strangelove in Blu Ray].

 

Somehow, i'm kind of upset. On the other hand, he agreed to stay until about six tomorrow and we can get some work done on my house.

 

Am I being taken advantage of? [For you grammatical queens, I have no idea how to put that so the "of" doesn't end the sentence.]

 

Advice, please. This is a long term client-escort relationship, even if it is March-November.

[robberbaron4u]

The time has come for you to move on down the road of life, and, in the future, never end a sentence with a preposition.

[MiamiLooker]

My regular and I just had dinner and watched most of a movie. Admittedly, he just got a real job, and isn't used to being up at 6:30, and we didn't start dinner until 7:15.

 

We had some wine with dinner and some champagne afterwards, whilst we were watching a movie. (I really should insist on play time BEFORE the movie).

 

Now he's out cold - we sleep in separate rooms - and didn't even get to see the rest of the movie [Dr. Strangelove in Blu Ray].

 

Somehow, i'm kind of upset. On the other hand, he agreed to stay until about six tomorrow and we can get some work done on my house.

 

Am I being taken advantage of? [For you grammatical queens, I have no idea how to put that so the "of" doesn't end the sentence.]

 

Advice, please. This is a long term client-escort relationship, even if it is March-November.

 

You're paying someone to watch a movie with you and sleep in another room? Are real friends that difficult to find?

[seeker630]

I think BVB has summed it up pretty well, but I'm curious about one thing - did he fall asleep while you were watching the movie together, or did he leave you & the movie and go to bed. If it's the former, it seems unintentional. if the latter...then I WOULD feel taken advantage of.

[+ deej]

Might a non-native speaker (particularly from the Inscrutable Zone ) phrase it:

 

Of advantage am I being taken?

 

Or Churchill.

[Steven_Draker]

I'm confident that things will get sort out with your regular, Gallahad.

 

If you wish your guest to be alert and available, I'd cut down the red wine and champagne (particularly when one is tired).

[MsGuy]

Or Churchill.

 

Actually Churchill is reputed to have no patience for this particular bit of pedantry. Quoting Sir Winston, "This is the sort of bloody nonsense up with which I will not put."

[+ nycman]

Or Churchill.

 

or Yoda

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

I'd probably cohabitate if not marry him if it weren't for the 36 year age difference.

 

Have you discussed this with him; does he feel the same way? If so, why let the age difference matter?

[good ol boy]

So, gallahadesquire?? Did you talk to him? What was the outcome? Did anyone in here say... Don't pay him? Would that be fair? or pay him less?

[jjkrkwood]

Hey, give the guy a break. Men are NOT machines, eventhough you may think you are paying them to be... When you book extended time, you should allow for "downtime". Afterall, everyone needs a friggin break.

[adriano46]

Gallahad, as I read your initial posting I felt myself going "Ah ha!" even before I read further. In the past, I moved from the client/escort state to older somewhat well-to-do guy with with younger friend who comes for extended weekends and the whole relationship changed markedly. When he was escorting and I was hiring as a client, he always refrained from wine, liquor and anything else that might make him sleepy. He arrived on time, showered, cleaned, pumped up and ready (for whether it was 2-hours or longer).

 

Once he began making visits to my apartment for extended periods, he would thoroughly enjoy whatever meals I prepared (with wine) or dinners out, enjoyed long liesurely afternoons shopping and touring (often shopping on my credit card), and coming home to a hot meal, more wine, cuddling before a video, and then he would fall asleep (either on the couch or make it to his bedroom (separate from mine) or even occasionally fall into my bed, but dead asleep. Sex became rarer, and often was more me in a very horny state with blue balls in the morning needing to get off, and him a somewhat passive recipient of my humping him, and jacking off his somewhat sleepy willy... like humping those plastic blow-up dolls.

 

Admittedly, on these weekend "sleepovers" he did not ask for nor expect a "fee" -- I had made the mistake of telling him once on a paid tryst, that if he ever wanted some "down time" from his escort work, feel free... and he did.. he would call me a few days in advance to see if I would be home, and he would fly in -- sometimes even bringing another HOT escort with him. The most I got from these weekends was a lot of eye candy (they loved to walk around the apartment semi- or completely nude, making me keep the apartment windows curtained from nosey neighbors), and an occasional hug and smooch, but skin-to-skin was rare, and becam rarer. I finally moved on, as did he, and saved my credit card too.

[MiamiLooker]

The most I got from these weekends was a lot of eye candy (they loved to walk around the apartment semi- or completely nude, making me keep the apartment windows curtained from nosey neighbors), and an occasional hug and smooch, but skin-to-skin was rare, and becam rarer. I finally moved on, as did he, and saved my credit card too.

 

 

What were you hoping or expecting to get out of these visits?

[jjkrkwood]

Gallahad, as I read your initial posting I felt myself going "Ah ha!" even before I read further. In the past, I moved from the client/escort state to older somewhat well-to-do guy with with younger friend who comes for extended weekends and the whole relationship changed markedly. When he was escorting and I was hiring as a client, he always refrained from wine, liquor and anything else that might make him sleepy. He arrived on time, showered, cleaned, pumped up and ready (for whether it was 2-hours or longer).

 

Once he began making visits to my apartment for extended periods, he would thoroughly enjoy whatever meals I prepared (with wine) or dinners out, enjoyed long liesurely afternoons shopping and touring (often shopping on my credit card), and coming home to a hot meal, more wine, cuddling before a video, and then he would fall asleep (either on the couch or make it to his bedroom (separate from mine) or even occasionally fall into my bed, but dead asleep. Sex became rarer, and often was more me in a very horny state with blue balls in the morning needing to get off, and him a somewhat passive recipient of my humping him, and jacking off his somewhat sleepy willy... like humping those plastic blow-up dolls.

 

Admittedly, on these weekend "sleepovers" he did not ask for nor expect a "fee" -- I had made the mistake of telling him once on a paid tryst, that if he ever wanted some "down time" from his escort work, feel free... and he did.. he would call me a few days in advance to see if I would be home, and he would fly in -- sometimes even bringing another HOT escort with him. The most I got from these weekends was a lot of eye candy (they loved to walk around the apartment semi- or completely nude, making me keep the apartment windows curtained from nosey neighbors), and an occasional hug and smooch, but skin-to-skin was rare, and becam rarer. I finally moved on, as did he, and saved my credit card too.

 

Its unfortunate but true that "valuable" lessons often come with a Price Tag !

[William]

The time has come for you to move on down the road of life, and, in the future, never end a sentence with a preposition.

 

RB, please note that your sentence ended with "a preposition."

 

Never say "never"? Oops!

[RockHard]

he just got a real job, and isn't used to being up at 6:30, and we didn't start dinner until 7:15. We had some wine with dinner and some champagne afterwards...we were watching a movie...Dr. Strangelove in Blu Ray

 

And you honestly expected the poor chap to stay awake and "play" with you after all this boredom? You are kidding, right?

 

I'm kind of upset. Am I being taken advantage of?

 

Sounds to me like you're expecting someone to surrender to your will, and if he doesn't, you feel sorry for yourself and whine about not getting what you expect. Is the escort a human being or a blow-up doll?

 

If I were the escort, I'd put a bullet through my head just based on your movie selection. Then you might have a serious reason to be upset.

 

I can't believe some of the things people write on this board. It sure is entertaining.

[adriano46]

What were you hoping or expecting to get out of these visits?

 

Miami -- it was never clear. Initially I would pay him his "fee" for a few hours or an overnight when visiting his city. Another time, he was stranded in my city (client cancelled at last minute after flying him in) and he ended p in my guest oom (no sex) for the night. Next morning, he climbed into my bed to warm me up... his way of saying "thanks".

 

We continued as client/escort for a few more months, but then the weekend visits started, and I was being stuped (and very inconsiderate), feeling he might reciprocate my hospitality with a freebie... and some guys here on this site set me straight and got me to drop the weekend visits, sleepovers etc... This escort and I parted on relatively good terms, but we no longer see each other nor communicate outside of mabe a once-a-year birthday card.

[rvwnsd]

See below

 

My regular and I just had dinner and watched most of a movie. Admittedly, he just got a real job, and isn't used to being up at 6:30, and we didn't start dinner until 7:15.

 

We had some wine with dinner and some champagne afterwards...

 

I would be passed out at this point

 

 

whilst

"Whilst"? Seriously?

 

we were watching a movie. (I really should insist on play time BEFORE the movie).

 

Yes, you should play before the movie. I am curious about why you feel like you have to "insist" on play time before the movie. Why do you have to insist on it? Would he (did he) refuse to play before the movie? Nonetheless, a lesson learned. (or do you say "learnt?")

 

 

Now he's out cold - we sleep in separate rooms -

 

Not on my dime, but to each his own.

 

and didn't even get to see the rest of the movie [Dr. Strangelove in Blu Ray].

 

I'm not sure this would be my first (or second or ninety-ninth) choice of pre-coital movies, but again to each his own.

 

Somehow, i'm kind of upset. On the other hand, he agreed to stay until about six tomorrow and we can get some work done on my house.

 

Does the romance never stop?

 

Am I being taken advantage of? [For you grammatical queens, I have no idea how to put that so the "of" doesn't end the sentence.]

 

Suggested alternative: "Is he taking advantage of me?"

 

Answer to question: I don't think so. We can only be taken advantage of if we let others take advantage of us. As others have mentioned, he is a living, breathing person. He drank wine and champagne and now gets up at 6:30 every morning for work. Seriously, I would fall asleep if I drank wine before eating and had champagne after dinner. Once could say he could refuse the drinks, but if he is trying to be a gracious guest he might feel obligated to partake on your hospitality.

 

The better question to ask is "Who is responsible for the date turning out differently than planned?" I think the answer is "both of you" for the following reasons:

 

1) You planned an evening that could (and did) lead to missing out on having sex due to alcohol consumption and timing. (You)

2) He drank enough to cause him to fall asleep. (Him)

3) The evening's planned events sound more like a night with a buddy than a night with a playmate (Both)

 

Advice, please. This is a long term client-escort relationship, even if it is March-November.

 

Here is my advice:

 

1) Avoid serving that much alcohol

2) Avoid watching a movie before playtime

3) Avoid watching Dr Strangelove with a date

4) Play after your food has settled but before you start getting sleepy

5) Have a conversation about the evening with the guy. Mention you were sorry he fell asleep. Ask that playtime take place before naptime next time.

6) Use "while" instead of "whilst"

7) Don't stress about using prepositions at the end of a sentence. Even my friend the grammar teacher says it is OK