Friends with an escort

[Steve9332]

Hi All,

 

Recently i spent 3 wonderful day's with an escort as my travel companion. He was awesome, it was a immediate click between our personalities on a friendship level,

will be travelling with him again soon. My question is this, is it possible to become good friends with a travel companion, as in real true friends, even if i take care of

him financially and cover all his expenses?

 

It feels like it is true friendship, but am I a fool thinking that? Anyone else out there that has become true friend with anyone they been seeing on a regular basis?

would be great to get some feedback...

 

Thanks.

 

S.

[robberbaron4u]

Lol. . .

[+ bigjoey]

It is possible to be hit by lightening or win the powerball, too.

 

Yes, it is possible. A well known retired escort recently visited me for 4 days. No money changed hands. It was just a friend thing. We have been friends for years. Another went with me on a cruise for 15 days and I picked up the bills but there was no charge for "services".

 

However, do not fool yourself into thing that this is the person you have been waiting your entire life to meet. Yes, you can get close and friendship can enter into the picture but always keep in mind that a business relationship is involved. It helps if you are very wealthy (think 21 year old, porn star Nick Gruber and 68 year old Calvin Klein).

 

Over the years, I have met some amazing men who escorted: smart, great companion, "easy on the eyes", great sex, cultured, etc. It is easy to fall in love with these guys. But just keep your feet on the ground.

[big-n-tall]

Anything is possible.

 

I've become good friends with a well known webcam guy. He occasionally does muscle worship, although I've never had a "live" session with him. I've known him about 5 years and I talk to him on some level a few times a week. During the summer I visited him... hung out a bit, went to his house, met his family... he even met some of mine (over the phone). No services or money were exchanged during this trip. It may sound odd but he has almost become like a brother. We have stupid nicknames for each other. He calls me on my birthday and I call him. We even exchange Christmas gifts.

 

As for someone I've hired and had physical contact with... well that may be harder to gauge. Now I'm not exactly fooling myself into thinking this relationship will be anything like the webcam guy and myself, but an escort I frequently see invited me to stay at his house the next time I'm in California. The thing is he did this the first time we met. I'm going to California next year for vacation and he wants me to stay with him. When I mentioned I was going he just offered. (I turned down the offer but I will visit.) Usually when he comes to my city he always wants to see me before any other clients. On the days he's not "working" we often go to dinner or movies "off the clock" as it were. Sometimes he pays, sometimes I do. All told, that's either Nordstrom level customer service LOL! or there is some level of friendship between us.

 

A friendship, mutual respect, or whatever you want to call it can develop between a escort and a client. I'm sure in some cases it might even go into more than a friendship but I think that is far rare an occurrence.

 

When it comes down to it, I agree with what bigjoey has stated.

 

Just my two cents... :-)

[TruthBTold]

I think it also might be as much about the personality of the client, as the escort. I have seen a particular escort for about 5 years. He is the only person I see. A few times a year, we also go to a function (dinner, play, concert, etc.). In almost all the cases, I have paid and there is no sex involved. I think that he enjoys my company and we have talked about introducing each other to our families, tho we have not done so. However, in the back of my mind there is always the thought that at its core our relationship is a business venture and that compromises the friendship. Maybe some people can get beyond that. Also, I remember that it seems that there is always a give and take in almost every friendship. It is just that we barter for less blatant things than money in our other friendships.

[JT Brooklyn]

Hi All,

 

Recently i spent 3 wonderful day's with an escort as my travel companion. He was awesome, it was a immediate click between our personalities on a friendship level,

will be travelling with him again soon. My question is this, is it possible to become good friends with a travel companion, as in real true friends, even if i take care of

him financially and cover all his expenses?

 

It feels like it is true friendship, but am I a fool thinking that? Anyone else out there that has become true friend with anyone they been seeing on a regular basis?

would be great to get some feedback...

 

Thanks.

 

S.

 

Biz is Biz! But see how well the Friendship holds up after you stop this Financial Transaction with him? Start with how much TIME he is willing to spend with you "off the books" It's possible as I have experienced the situation more than once But not on a weekly Basis!

[robberbaron4u]

Robber Baron's Rule No. 3: Never admit a "hire" to your private or professional life; a "brutal" admonition to be sure, but the rule goes to the reality of the thing.

[Keenan]

I have to say it really depends on the escort. If you hired the escort through an agency the chances are less likely. I worked for an agency for a while and they had the rule that escorts couldn't give out any personal contact information so all calls would go through the agency. If the escort is working independently it depends on the escort, but remember time is money for an escort so whether time in bed for an hour or time in a coffee shop in an hour is money and who wants to give up money.

 

Keenan

 

Hi All,

 

Recently i spent 3 wonderful day's with an escort as my travel companion. He was awesome, it was a immediate click between our personalities on a friendship level,

will be travelling with him again soon. My question is this, is it possible to become good friends with a travel companion, as in real true friends, even if i take care of

him financially and cover all his expenses?

 

It feels like it is true friendship, but am I a fool thinking that? Anyone else out there that has become true friend with anyone they been seeing on a regular basis?

would be great to get some feedback...

 

Thanks.

 

S.

[rguer]

... remember time is money for an escort so whether time in bed for an hour or time in a coffee shop in an hour is money and who wants to give up money.

 

I work for a living, but I don't want to work all the time, even though it would bring in more money.

[rguer]

Just be careful, if it seems like its going one sided and you're buying everything, you've become a sugar daddy.

 

I'd like to try being a sugar daddy for a while. All I need is the money.

[gallahadesquire]

I am accursed with having to have an emotional tie with someone before becoming carnal with them. Although I've had a couple of once or twicers, the first fellow (now retired) with whom I had anything long term I'd IM'd on AOL (when you could chat there) for about five years. So, we were friends before we became client and escort. I still message him, and sometimes his lover - who is in the same specialty of medicine as I am!

 

My current recurrent has become friend and is less physical. I feel like a big brother towards him, and know that someday (and it might be sooner than later) I won't be able to have sex with him. But I think I'll be okay with that. He has told me that I've become important in his life.

 

We did this not too long ago:

http://www.companyofmen.org/showthread.php?88584-I-broke-my-own-rule

[robberbaron4u]

Prudent advice.

[+ MakeMeCowboy]

In my world I try to never confuse an acquaintance with a friend. Friends emerge over time and having shared a variety of experiences together. There is an old saying, something like “you can share a laugh with many but you’ll never forget those with whom you’ve shared a tear.”

 

Enjoy your time with this guy, keep your head and maintain balance. Time will tell.

 

Ps… I enjoy a 15 year friendship with someone I once saw professionally.

[tyro]

Yes, it is possible to become close friends with an escort. Yes, it is possible that he will invite you to spend time with him "off the clock" and share parts of his life that other clients don't see. Yes, you should always realize the circumstances under which you met him...and yes, you should also always realize that all relationship dynamics are constantly changing.

 

Enjoy your relationship.

T

[Rhinestone Cowboy]

Keep it professional. You have a responsibility as a client to treat him with respect and professional courtesy. You are LUCKY to have found someone you click so well with as a travel companion. You could easily have wound up with someone who was difficult, moody, not fun, etc. Enjoy the fact that you have a travel companion that is genuinely a good match, fun to be with, and someone you look forward to spending more time with. But keep it professional in your mind. The more he understands that you are respecting the professional relationship, the more he will appreciate you as one of his favorite clients and, truly, you will become a real friend...because you aren't trying to push the boundaries. A change in the relationship will be up to him...if he decides to stop taking payment and just wants to travel with you on his own dime and remove the financial obligation then he will let you know. You should NEVER assume it is heading in that direction. You will just wind up frustrating yourself. But remember: if you are not paying for his services that also means that you are not the focus of his attention, you are not in control of the situation, you are not being serviced. You are friends, free to do what you want. Would you be okay traveling with him as a friend, going to a bar together, and having him hook up with a hot guy he meets that night and going home with that guy and leaving you alone in the hotel room (that he is paying half of the tab on anyway)? A friend wouldn't care. A true friend would actually be psyched that his friend scored. If you would be jealous, or feel jilted in some way, or hurt then you are not really looking for a friend -- you are looking for this person to be a boyfriend, and that's very different. So until you know for sure the kind of feelings you would have if this relationship ever progressed beyond anything professional, I would definitely just enjoy the fact that you have found a professional guy that you click with and keep it on that level until HE indicates he's looking for something different. The quickest way to drive yourself crazy is to fool yourself by making assumptions. Don't. Let him change the status of the relationship if he wants to...your job is to keep it professional and enjoy the great service he is providing and admire him for being great at what he does! :-)

[tyro]

Well said, sir!! These are some great suggestions for preventing any future heartache.

T

[bigvalboy]

I have become close friends with an escort, and I have taken him on numerous weekend trips, mostly camping or boating. I naturally picked up all expenses, I think that went without say. I immensely enjoy his company, and we do have a lot of laughs, however in the end, there is a certain dynamic to the friendship, in which everything is on my dime. I am aware of that, and realize that there are boundaries. I would say that we are certainly friends in the truest sense. He could not afford to go otherwise, and so I do this without hesitation. I try not to over think the situation, and just enjoy our time together. For his part he tries to reciprocate when he can. He is an excellent mechanic, and has insisted on repairing my car several times without charging me for his labor. Some of these repairs take half the day, but he will not take a dime from me. I accept his gratitude as I know that he is trying to let me know how much he appreciates the trips we take.

 

On my trips to Thailand, I have met a couple of working boys, which I have known for years, and they have come back with me to the US a couple of times for a visit. I paid for the trip, but never considered paying them for their time. It was really never discussed. I thought that the trip alone was generous enough. I think that calling us friends in the same way that I call others my friend might be a bit of a stretch. We have a great time together, but I would not put them on the same level as the rest of my friends. It is a very different dynamic, and difficult to describe, but I am well aware the differences to this rather non-traditional relationship. I think that we both get something out of the 'Friendship'.

[operalover21]

Like with most things in life, there are simply no hard and fast rules. I prefer to think along the lines of ... all things are possible.

[Browser]

Occasionally, I have become friendly with escorts. I can think of three in particular. I invite them to my home when I have parties, and an occassional movie or meal at a restaurant. And I didn't always pay....But, when it came to BR activities, I always keep that to a strictly business basis. I would not ask a friend who is a mechanic to fix my car for free, or a friend who is a doctor to remove my appendix for free. Likewise, I would not ask a friend who earns his living as a escort to provide his professional services for free. Keep business and friendship separate, and you can be friends with an escort. At least, it worked, and still does, for me.

[Bart]

A few quick thoughts. Remember friendship, like nick names, is given and usually dont ask for.

I hope you are talking friendship, not relationship, big difference.

Friendship comes with responsibility, during friendship times you must remember he is on call and friends may need to be rescheduled.

I think friendship does not mean you pick up the bills all the time either. A real friend will want to split the bill occassionally and let him pay too.

Nothing worse than someone always picking up the check, looks like you are trying to buy the friendship.

Dont always feel you need to get the last word, text, email in.

He should be contacting you sometimes, out of the blue.If it is just you contacting him, probably not friendship.

When he does talk to you as a friend he may not have his game face on.

 

Yes it is possible to be friends. I have a gentlemen I tried to hire for 6 months, he was side stepping me. He called one day after a difficult client to discuss the events how he should handle it. From that day forward even before we hit the bed we hit it off. As hire he is great and have written several reviews for him. We try to get together once every 4 mos for just a boys day out. But I also hire him. I use his hire name for those times, his real name for softer occassions.

 

Whatever you do dont try so hard, you can push people away with that. If it is friendship it will come natural.

Yes I do believe you can become friends but it is work on both sides.

[buckguy]

It's a rarity, but it does happen. The ground rules need to be clear. In my case, the guy suggested getting together to do something we both happened to like and clearly said "just hanging out". I'm no longer in touch but was for quite some time. he was someone whose pride got in the way of some aspects of escorting, so the idea that business could lead to a real friendship was important to him, esp. at that time in his life. I think a lot of clients have a fantasy of "something more", esp. when there's a good social rapport, but I think you're safer assuming that friendship will be rare and you'll know it because you will not have been sending vibes that would get in the way of real friendship.

[uwsman2]

Many years ago I "clicked" with an escort over a shared love of music. We ended up going to concerts together and the escort part of the relationship ended. We remained friends, he had me as a guest in his home and introduced me to his various boyfriends. (One of those boyfriends, who went into escorting after breaking up with him under a different name, declined an escort session with me on the grounds that he knew me socially and it didn't seem right.) Then my friend moved back to Europe, and we have kept in touch. Once I was traveling to Europe on business and stayed over in his apartment one night in the guest room, and he took me to the opera and I treated him to dinner. We remain friends and keep in touch through facebook. So it is possible. But in more than 30 years of hiring escorts, he's the only one with whom the relationship switched to friendship of that sort.

[Jake Walker]

Yes, it's possible. Escorts are human. We do have feelings too. So I would say the best answer thus far is a combination of those given by "Big Joey" and "Rhinestone Cowboy".

 

It is possible to become friends with a person who is a doctor. That would not prevent him from treating you medically. But it also would not mean that when he does treat you medically, he is no longer paid for his medical services. Yet the fact that he is paid for professional services does not preclude you from continuing a friendship. Likewise, you can become friends with an accountant, whom you pay for tax services. You don't expect your accountant to do your taxes for free, just because you are friends.

 

The key is to never "fall for" the escort as a boyfriend, etc. That's where the comments by Rhinestone Cowboy show wisdom. In some ways escorting is like any other job or profession. Through the years I've had persons with whom I've hit it off exceedingly well, and other with whom I have not. A persons job should not preclude real, genuine connections. Just take care to not think of the escort as a substitute boyfriend, with all the emotions that come from that. Just be clear in your own mind about what feelings you're allowing yourself to experience, as you continue to pay for escort services.

 

But that doesn't mean that there aren't emotions, and that the escort doesn't feel. As an escort I've become good friends with a number of clients and former clients through the years. I have two former clients with whom I no longer do anything sexually, but we still do things together on a personal level. I've had them over to my home for dinner, introduced them to friends, and have even traveled together. And one client with whom I traveled together many times for several years, he remained a client paying for services but I still considered a dear friend until his recent passing. I still have photos of he and I on a trip together in a frame here in my apartment ... a reminder of fun times together, and the love and respect I felt for him as a kind, caring human being. And another current client (still very much alive) whom I admire and respect greatly, whom I hope will remain a part of my life long after I'm not longer being hired by him for escort services. We're all big boys. Relationships can take many forms, and there are no "rules" how about how any of us should feel. Just treat each other with mutual respect.

[jjkrkwood]

Hi All,

 

Recently i spent 3 wonderful day's with an escort as my travel companion. He was awesome, it was a immediate click between our personalities on a friendship level,

will be travelling with him again soon. My question is this, is it possible to become good friends with a travel companion, as in real true friends, even if i take care of

him financially and cover all his expenses?

 

It feels like it is true friendship, but am I a fool thinking that? Anyone else out there that has become true friend with anyone they been seeing on a regular basis?

would be great to get some feedback...

 

Thanks.

 

S.

 

Sounds like a win-win situation. If you feel good about it, then there is no problem, but you are aware that escorts are skilled at making connections with clients for financial gain. Its their Job. Many a client has fallen victim to charms of their escorts, but as long as you are happy and he's getting paid, theres no problem here, and I suspect he will give you his friendship for a long, long time.. But if you want to test him, stop hiring and paying him and see where the "friendship" leads....

[citylaw1]

Lol ...

 

It's possible to be "friendly" and have a better connection with a particular escort. This logic, of course, holds true with an accountant, lawyer, housekeeper, etc. Try this - ask him to go on a vacation with you (non sexual) as friends. Dutch treat. Based on his response you'll know if you're "friends" or not.