No anal sex?

[gallahadesquire]

I'm in a conundrum. I don't really like anal sex - I like to rim, but I don't like much beyond that, and my own is strictly off limits.

 

So what do I tell confirmed Tops and Bottoms? I mean, I've had a lot of fun in the past, but now ... I'm just confused.

Just say "I like to do other things, but anal, not so much?"

 

A bird in the hand is - priceless. Especially when it's someone belongs to someone else!

[Guest countryboywny]

I don't think you should be confused.. you know what you like and what you want. There are lots of other activities other than fucking. I wouldn't be hesitant about discussing my wants with a prospective hire. I'm sure they've heard it before, and may be even prefer clients like you. As is always said, be upfront about your desires and expectations and HAVE A BLAST!

[justaguy]

Countryboy said it perfectly. You know what you do and do not like. That puts you way ahead of all those clients whose minds escorts have to try to read in order to get to that point. Again, as Countryboy said, have a blast...no matter the specific activity the fun factor is best for all parties in the room.

[bigvalboy]

Gallahad, you and I have the exact same desires. So I know where you are coming from, but Countryboy and Jag said it perfectly.

 

I hired for an overnight once, and it wasn't till after dinner and we were back at the hotel that we realized we were both tops. We had a good laugh about it. He offered to cancel and leave, but he ended up staying and we still had a great time. There are still lots of things you can do to satisfy the sexual desires. He was still very hot in bed.

[Xander]

Sex is about wayyyyy more than anal penetration. Most of the pleasure for me is before and after doing it, anyway (regardless of position)

[+ FreshFluff]

I'm in a conundrum. I don't really like anal sex - I like to rim, but I don't like much beyond that, and my own is strictly off limits.

 

So what do I tell confirmed Tops and Bottoms? I mean, I've had a lot of fun in the past, but now ... I'm just confused.

Just say "I like to do other things, but anal, not so much?"

 

Not sure what the answer is, but as someone who doesn't "do" intercourse (at least for now), I feel for you. It's an awkward position to be in.

[Xander]

Not sure what the answer is, but as someone who doesn't "do" intercourse (at least for now), I feel for you. It's an awkward position to be in.

 

Its only awkward if someone makes it awkward! I've had clients who didn't have a prostate and we both had a great time!

[seeker630]

I know this has been discussed before, and I can remember some escorts saying that a significant number of their sessions didn't include anal - and if you look at the reviews, you'll see that.

[rvwnsd]

I am not a huge fan of anal sex outside of rimming. Here's what I say when the topic comes up: "I'm not a huge fan of anal sex outside of rimming." Done. Not one escort has had a problem with that.

[jjkrkwood]

I'm in a conundrum. I don't really like anal sex - I like to rim, but I don't like much beyond that, and my own is strictly off limits.

 

So what do I tell confirmed Tops and Bottoms? I mean, I've had a lot of fun in the past, but now ... I'm just confused.

Just say "I like to do other things, but anal, not so much?"

 

A bird in the hand is - priceless. Especially when it's someone belongs to someone else!

 

I've made an ENTIRE career of NO ANAL PENETRATION SEX. It kinda does limit the prospects, but is possible to do. And the ones that receive the Oral skills are most grateful for your dedication to your craft. My philosophy: "Dont DO what you DONT like doing".....

[unsub2O17]

I haven't done it enough yet to make a final judgement. It does seem to be getting more enjoyable each time, and I haven't yet hired an escort who doesn't want to top me. In fact, my first hire with an escort where anal is specifically off the table (per his request) is coming up, and I'm eager to find out how a session goes without anal even on the "possible" agenda. For you, G, I think that you'll be fine just saying what you suggested that you say. Be "up front", and it'll be good regardless of the escort's being a "T,B or V".

[nate_sf]

I know this has been discussed before, and I can remember some escorts saying that a significant number of their sessions didn't include anal - and if you look at the reviews, you'll see that.

 

I concur with this and the other posts. It's not unusual at all to have a request of no anal. People have all kinds of reasons why, but no explanation is needed. In your initial email or phone call you can just say you are not interested in anal, then tell him what you do like to do. He should be able to take it from there.

 

One guy I've been seeing regularly for several years now, his first email indicated he did not want anal and then he listed the things he likes to do. We've met many times since, for multi-hour appointments, and there's never been anal during any of that time. It's an agreement and understanding. There are tons of other things to do together!

[Bosguy]

Love anal sex with guys who truly know how to accomplish this with pleasure and not unnecessary pain. In addition, there are many erotic ways of having anal sex without penetration. If you communicate this properly with your partner, the possibilities are endless

 

Boston Bill

[gallahadesquire]

Sex is about wayyyyy more than anal penetration. Most of the pleasure for me is before and after doing it, anyway (regardless of position)

 

When are you coming to the Northeast??

[bigvalboy]

Love anal sex with guys who truly know how to accomplish this with pleasure and not unnecessary pain. In addition, there are many erotic ways of having anal sex without penetration. If you communicate this properly with your partner, the possibilities are endless

 

Boston Bill

 

Yes yes yes BB. SO true. I almost prefer sex without anal penetration. I am a "top" and the pressure to perform as I age almost spoils the encounter.

[jjkrkwood]

I am a "top" .

 

now THAT's Funny, and scary at the same time

[bostonman]

I'm not a fan of anal sex either. never really have been. I've tried it every now and then, and though the *idea* of getting fucked can sometimes work into my fantasies, the times I've really enjoyed the sensation of anal sex are few and far between. Beyond that, I have to confess I don't even find the ass a very sexy body part. Sometimes because of this, I feel I should hand in my gay card, lol. But actually I don't think there's a crime in not liking ass, even if it seems most other people do. ;-)

 

A funny story, though - maybe it's more about a hetero perspective than really about anal sex, but even so...when I was in college I was still entertaining being bi to some extent, though my preference was definitely for men. There was this girl that really liked me, and we flirted a lot, but it never got beyond some making out, etc. When I came out to her, she wasn't happy to hear about it, but she dealt with it. I remember her asking me, "so, you really have sex with guys?" And I said I did. She asked about the risk of AIDS (this was the early 1980's still), and I told her I didn't have anal sex, so the risk was much less. Her reply caught me by surprise. She said something like, "but that IS sex...everything else is foreplay."

 

I don't remember what I said in return. But I look back on that and think, gee, if that's the general hetero (if not also gay) perspective that sex has to equal penetration, it's a shame people think that way. Of course, Bill Clinton tried the same argument (that oral sex wasn't really sex), and I'm not sure he got very far with that, lol.

 

But seriously, Gallahad - if you don't like anal sex, you simply don't like it...and to quote Seinfeld, "not that there's anything wrong with that." ;-)

[adriano46]

Like some other here, I do not like anal sex either as a top and definitely not as a bottom. I did try it early on, but I found penetration in general was not that great (I am much more orally fixated I suppose), and absolutely do not enjoy another penetrating me.

 

When I hire, I make it clear from the first exchange of notes on the meeting that I am strictly interested in mutual oral play, kissing, and I like to rim a guy but do not expect it to be reciprocated unless he wants. I find this puts the escort at ease on what is expected from him, and I have not had a problem enjoying myself.

[jgoo]

As I have advanced in age and along with that have gained some variety of experiences, I've found anal sex to be less and less important to make the overall encounter enjoyable. While sometimes I do go into an appointment with the expectations of anal, it seems that things don't always end up with that and mostly from my choosing as I get a great deal of satisfaction from so many other things.

 

Now this may be very unfair to generalize, but I do feel that many (perhaps most) escorts would be quite happy to not have to do anal if not expected to do so. For my case, perhaps they just get the sense that I am totally happy without it so it never gets that far, without ever explicitly discussing it.

[unsub2O17]

As I have advanced in age and along with that have gained some variety of experiences, I've found anal sex to be less and less important to make the overall encounter enjoyable. While sometimes I do go into an appointment with the expectations of anal, it seems that things don't always end up with that and mostly from my choosing as I get a great deal of satisfaction from so many other things.

 

Now this may be very unfair to generalize, but I do feel that many (perhaps most) escorts would be quite happy to not have to do anal if not expected to do so. For my case, perhaps they just get the sense that I am totally happy without it so it never gets that far, without ever explicitly discussing it.

 

This is very thought provoking. Thank you, jgoo, for posting this. And thank you, G, for bringing up the entire topic. If I am neutral on the issue of anal (and I am), and if the escort's pleasure is paramount to me in order to make my experience the best that it can be (which it is), then by seeming to require that anal be a part of the session, am I not decreasing the escort's pleasure, and, thereby my own?? This is assuming that the escort really could care less about topping me, of course. In other words, is giving anal (a neutral act for me) really different than doing anything else (like a particular oral activity) that I don't particularly care for, but the escort likes??

[bostonman]

By the way, for those of us more into sensual experiences than needing penetration to be satisfied - I recently met up with someone who got into dry humping, which was quite fun - he humped my crack with all the strength and passion someone might throw into a real fuck, and it was very hot - and then I asked him if he'd do it from the front and hump his cock between my thighs, which was also way hot. In fact, the friction of my cock rubbing against him while he humped my thighs was enough to get me to cum, which made it even hotter. Damn - who needs penetration? ;-)

[+ Travis69]

By the way, for those of us more into sensual experiences than needing penetration to be satisfied - I recently met up with someone who got into dry humping, which was quite fun - he humped my crack with all the strength and passion someone might throw into a real fuck, and it was very hot - and then I asked him if he'd do it from the front and hump his cock between my thighs, which was also way hot. In fact, the friction of my cock rubbing against him while he humped my thighs was enough to get me to cum, which made it even hotter. Damn - who needs penetration? ;-)

I don't enjoy anal either. The idea of the health risk takes the pleasure away. I love getting a nice set of buns nice and oily and rubbing my cock on them. Very safe and quite enjoyable.