............and I thought I'd heard it all hahahahaha

[SteveEscort]

A guy I seen a few months back sent me a text at 4pm today, here it is word for word.

 

"Hello Steve, I was wondering if you rent out your apartment. I want to see an escort but he's outcall only and I am married so we wondered if we could do it at your place. I'd gladly give you £20 for the use of your place. The guy also said if you want to join in that's cool but I couldn't also stump up your fee for an hour so he would be treating you as a client and would want to negotiate a rate to join in"

 

Right, let me get this wrapped around my head.

 

• He wants to use my place for an hour for £20
  
• He wants to invite an escort I don't know to another escorts home who he knows is an escort
  
• He wants to invite me to join in
  
• The other escort wants to charge me a fee
  

 

 

Right........... I get it.............. I'm stupid

 

Obviously the answer was no and when I said no and the reasons why which were .... I don't like escorts knowing where I live, I keep my place discreet, I don't like strangers using my things.....

 

He then texts me and says "But he's black and could fuck us both, we don't have many black escorts in Newcastle and I really want to see him and I will lose out if you don't help"

 

The answer was still no LOLOLOL. This is all from a client who likes oral "with" a condom on. He's gotten himself a bit adventurous hasn't he and isn't it a cheek to discuss this amongst themselves and work out a rate I could pay THE ESCORT for allowing them to use my home.

[MsGuy]

ahahahahhahahaha!!!

[MFLV]

That is too funny. Though it does speak to you being a nice guy that he would even ask you. But it's certainly insensitive on the client's part. Good story, one for the books, thanks for sharing. It made me laugh!

[maxwellissmart]

I would have said yes and then canceled at the very last possible second. After all, you're a client.

 

What. A. Tool.

[wnybear]

"we don't have many black escorts in Newcastle and I really want to see him and I will lose out if you don't help"

 

So they obviously don't have hotels in Newcastle either? I mean if he can't afford to get a room to meet this guy then he obviously can't afford this guy.

[SteveEscort]

It was the bit which more or less said well if you want to supervise he will charge. He's getting paid to shag in my house and wants to charge me to make sure he doesn't steal something. Oh that was taking the piss.

 

I bet they'd want fresh towels, lube, condoms and fooking cocktails served on arrival and TWENTY QUID. Oh dear !! I'd want my going rate for the hour and a royal box to spectate for free

 

I'm still fuming about it lol

[gallahadesquire]

I would have said yes and then canceled at the very last possible second. After all, you're a client.

 

What. A. Tool.

 

When I was in college, the guys who studied ALL THE TIME were called "Tools." Sort-of "social inept, incredibly bright, want a straight 5.0 average for five years, through their Ph.D."

The kind that eat Chinese (Szechuan and Mandarin) and Pizza. Some became "Hacks". Almost all of them "Nerds" and / or "Geeks." Few dorks, if any.

 

Somehow, I think the definition of "Tool" has changed. Urbandictionary.com has been of limited use.

 

Why doesn't he just get a hotel?

[gallahadesquire]

It was the bit which more or less said well if you want to supervise he will charge. He's getting paid to shag in my house and wants to charge me to make sure he doesn't steal something. Oh that was taking the piss.

 

I bet they'd want fresh towels, lube, condoms and fooking cocktails served on arrival and TWENTY QUID. Oh dear !! I'd want my going rate for the hour and a royal box to spectate for free

 

I'm still fuming about it lol

 

No, dear. Champagne and caviar on toast points with Mother-of-Pearl spoons. Served with [proper] wrist-length white [not grey] kid gloves.

[Decatur Guy]

To me, the funniest part of all of this was how he urged you to reconsider because you had this rare opportunity to pay a black guy to fuck you in Newcastle.

[instudiocity]

He's gotten himself a bit adventurous hasn't he and isn't it a cheek to discuss this amongst themselves and work out a rate I could pay THE ESCORT for allowing them to use my home.

WOW, STEVE, You've made it from INCREDIBLE FUCKING TO FUCKING INCREDIBLE!

[SteveEscort]

 

Why doesn't he just get a hotel?

 

I said that to him and recommended Metro Inns, a downmarket hotel chain with rooms from £22 a night. He didn't reply to that suggestion. The hotel usually has 60 rooms.58 of which are usually working girls. I once did an outcall to it and would never go back.

[SteveEscort]

To me, the funniest part of all of this was how he urged you to reconsider because you had this rare opportunity to pay a black guy to fuck you in Newcastle.

 

Oh yeah, like it was a treat for me too. I'll give him his dues, he's right that there's very few black escorts in my neck of the woods, however what he didn't seem to realise is that although I will see almost anyone over the age of 21 in my working capacity, if I was paying I would rather hire an fit bald Jason Statham type who would rag me around the bed.

 

I had a look around the internet last night for black north east escort and bingo I found the guy and he's definitely not my type. He's a student, lives about 30 miles away and is outcall only.

 

I discussed this with another male escort friend who I work with from time to time for threesomes and he'd never heard of such a thing but did say "So they use your place and it would have probably cost you £50 for the privilege once they'd taken off their £20 contribution towards using your home, and they probably would have used the shower and the condoms and your wipes etc and what if you hired it out for an hour, left the place and lost a 90 minute appointment when they were in" yes it was a bit of a cheek.

 

I would neve leave two men to their own devices in my home anyway, although there is nothing of any value in my "working room" there are cupboards and drawers they could rifle through and go through my underwear, toys and clothes that are in that room. The whole thought of it makes me shudder

[maxwellissmart]

Oh yeah, like it was a treat for me too. I'll give him his dues, he's right that there's very few black escorts in my neck of the woods, however what he didn't seem to realise is that although I will see almost anyone over the age of 21 in my working capacity, if I was paying I would rather hire an fit bald Jason Statham type who would rag me around the bed.

 

I had a look around the internet last night for black north east escort and bingo I found the guy and he's definitely not my type. He's a student, lives about 30 miles away and is outcall only.

 

I discussed this with another male escort friend who I work with from time to time for threesomes and he'd never heard of such a thing but did say "So they use your place and it would have probably cost you £50 for the privilege once they'd taken off their £20 contribution towards using your home, and they probably would have used the shower and the condoms and your wipes etc and what if you hired it out for an hour, left the place and lost a 90 minute appointment when they were in" yes it was a bit of a cheek.

 

I would neve leave two men to their own devices in my home anyway, although there is nothing of any value in my "working room" there are cupboards and drawers they could rifle through and go through my underwear, toys and clothes that are in that room. The whole thought of it makes me shudder

 

I've not experienced anything quite so ballsy as this—the closest would be the client who gave me the piece of jewelry out of the blue and then expected me to see him for free from then on out, and made this quite clear.

 

Of course, it didn't help that I was allergic to it and it was monogrammed with my escort name, so I couldn't wear it anywhere other than at home.

[Boner]

I've not experienced anything quite so ballsy as this—the closest would be the client who gave me the piece of jewelry out of the blue and then expected me to see him for free from then on out, and made this quite clear.

 

Of course, it didn't help that I was allergic to it and it was monogrammed with my escort name, so I couldn't wear it anywhere other than at home.

 

You're not allergic to it at home? Just in public?

[maxwellissmart]

You're not allergic to it at home? Just in public?

 

Perhaps. Possibly.

 

NO, I should have said: it was monogrammed with my escort name, so I couldn't wear it anywhere other than at home. And I was allergic to it. I could actually wear it for short periods of time, but not more than an hour or so because it would cause me to break out in hives.

 

You and your details.

[Boner]

You and your details.

 

That's where I've been told Devil-Trolls live......

[seeker630]

Perhaps. Possibly.

 

NO, I should have said: it was monogrammed with my escort name, so I couldn't wear it anywhere other than at home. And I was allergic to it. I could actually wear it for short periods of time, but not more than an hour or so because it would cause me to break out in hives.

 

You and your details.

 

You should have asked him to repalce it with a non-allergenic cock ring (suitably bejeweled or made of silver) - then you could wear it anywhere.

[jjkrkwood]

You should have asked him to repalce it with a non-allergenic cock ring (suitably bejeweled or made of silver) - then you could wear it anywhere.

 

Non-allergic cockrings are ALWAYS stainless steel. Many people have Silver allergies !

[Boner]

Non-allergic cockrings are ALWAYS stainless steel. Many people have Silver allergies !

 

Real men wear leather or stainless-steel cock-rings. Only.

[SteveEscort]

Non-allergic cockrings are ALWAYS stainless steel. Many people have Silver allergies !

 

I have a leather one, I don't like bits of metal on my nether regions

[SteveEscort]

I've not experienced anything quite so ballsy as this—the closest would be the client who gave me the piece of jewelry out of the blue and then expected me to see him for free from then on out, and made this quite clear.

When I first started out as an escort I was working in a government job and a told a client that I quite fancied going self employed with both of my "acquired" skills rather than sitting at a desk until 6pm and looking at 6 missed calls on my escorting phone and crying about how much money I lost when I was sat there for £10 an hour. He offered me an "unconditional" interest free loan of £3000 to help me get started, it would cover my advertising for escort work and my professional work, keep me going for a few months until I had enough professional clients to be able to create a good standard of living.

 

However............... he wanted to see me once a month at a discounted rate and each appointment would be free gratis for him but would come off his balance he paid in advance. He wanted his £130 two hour incall for £100, so in real terms I was paying £30 interest on each appointment. My other "profession" is financial related !!!! He didn't see the irony. He even knew what I was qualified in and didn't think I'd see through the plan.

 

It would have taken me 30 appointments to pay it off, so about 3 years.

 

I didn't take him up on the offer and I never seen him again. He was highly strung to begin with and I would have felt owned.

 

I started my professional business, paid my own advertising and sought my own clients and did it without his help.

[jjkrkwood]

Real men wear leather or stainless-steel cock-rings. Only.

 

I disprove that.... I wear stainless steel. Now what was your point about REAL men????

[+ FreshFluff]

He then texts me and says "But he's black and could fuck us both, we don't have many black escorts in Newcastle and I really want to see him and I will lose out if you don't help"

 

So he's too cheap to spring for a hotel but he's got money for an escort.

 

I hate it when people try to sell you on something they know is an outrageously bad deal for you. If it happens again, tell him your regular hourly rate is for companionship. Also, you are treating the escort as a client and would charge your hourly rate for two people.

[Boner]

I disprove that.... I wear stainless steel. Now what was your point about REAL men????

 

Oh, dear. I forgot about you.

[SteveEscort]

If it happens again, tell him your regular hourly rate is for companionship. Also, you are treating the escort as a client and would charge your hourly rate for two people.

 

My escort friend said that last night. He said so why doesn't the client pay you £20 for the hire of the room and then pay £70 to the escort who then pays you £70 to book you. You then end up with £90 and they end up with somewhere for fun. I honestly never thought of that at the time but I damn sure wish I had because the client couldn't also stump up my fee but his bit of fluff could as he would have money to pay me LOL